Throwaway account because my main has personal info.
My (34F) mother (59F) has not worked for the last ~30 years. When we were little, dad worked and she was a SAHM. She refused to work even when we were older, I remember my parents fighting about it. After their divorce mom remarried almost instantly and relied on her (much older) husband, who died last year leaving everything for his adult kids and almost nothing for her.
After the death of her second husband, mom moved in with my brother and his wife. She was supposed to look after their kids while they work. This didn't work out and they are kicking her out, which is totally my mom's fault, I told her multiple times this would happen if she continued to act like she did. She was extremely mean to SIL, tried to run their household, acted like the queen, refused to watch the kids full time,which was their original agreement (she only watched them like half day twice a week and when she did she neglected them like not changing a poopy diaper for god knows how long because she was hoping SIL would be back soon and do it, which resulted in baby getting a very nasty rash, etc etc).
Now she wants to move in with me. She's claiming she'd help with the kid (I have a 2yo). I told her no, I saw what happened to my brother and SIL, you caused major issues in their marriage and I will not risk it. After all, you always told us adult children should never live with their parents (yes, we were both kicked out at 18 right after we finished school). She started crying and saying she doesn't have anywhere to go (she has until the end of the month to leave my brother's house). I told her neither did I when she kicked me out at 18 and I went to live on my friends couch but I worked and eventually rented a room so I guess that's what she should do - that's what everyone else does. She asked me to at least pay her rent until she gets back on her feet, I said no, you're a healthy working age person, you should not be freeloading (that's exactly what she told me when I was 18). We had a very big fight but I refused to let her move in or give her money. I'm sure she should still have some from her inheritance and I know for a fact my brother gave her money so I didn't feel guilty at all.
Now, multiple relatives are texting me, basically saying me and SIL are horrible people. Mom's dead husbands son called to scold me, telling me my mom is my responsibility and not theirs so I should do what's right. I do not feel guilty but perhaps that's what makes me the AH? Am I? I do feel bad about people claiming I'm a bad daughter. Mainly because my mother was never a model mom herself, she never put her kids first and was generally disinterested in us unless she needed something. I mean, if she were nice, I'd be happy to have her near