Cringe & Facepalm

UPDATE: Oh my god. Thank you so much for all the support and kindness. Seeing my feelings about this validated means more than any of you will ever understand.

I had to get this off my chest somehow. Been thinking about her a lot.

I (35F) have been NC with both of my parents on and off since about 2013. Right now, it's NC with both. It's hard sometimes, because you don't stop caring or loving your parents even if they're awful.

Long story short, my dad (71) was always about working the system and lying and scheming and scamming. Mom (64) stayed with him, even though he was nothing but bad news and still is. Because of my dad, my mom became homeless, and she refuses any help that isn't the help she wants. She's been bouncing between her different children's houses ever since, and worn out her welcome more times than I can count.

She always tells us how we're doing things wrong, we're eating wrong, we buy groceries wrong, we talk to people wrong, we look wrong, everything would be so much better if you let me help, etc. etc. etc. She also doesn't respect people's boundaries or privacy and will routinely "dumpster dive" in the house to see if you "threw away something good." This includes rotted food.

My mom was abusive and neglectful. I don't want to live with her. That doesn't mean I want her to suffer.

A few years back when we were still talking, she kept hinting about how great it would be if we lived together. At first, she offered to "clean the house" for me. I told her that I could clean my home just fine and I wasn't about to turn my mom into a maid. Instead, my husband and I offered her $1000 a month so she could find an apartment and live by herself, which she kept saying was what she "dreamed" of. She refused our offer, and was actually OFFENDED by it.

We then found apartments in the area she wanted to move into that were within her price range (i.e.: she wouldn't need to take money from me to live there). She also refused that offer.

My siblings and I have offered to help her apply for public housing. She kept insisting that even though by her own admission she just wanted to live alone, the ONLY SOLUTION was for me to take her in.

Then she finally came to the real point and said, "Look. You can have a baby, and I can help you take care of the baby while you stay home. It'll be perfect."

While I love children, I don't want to have any. But every time since then until I went NC again, she kept insisting that I needed to have a baby FOR HER, for the sole purpose of giving her a baby to take care of while she lives with me. She has five grandchildren already, but she insists that I need to be the one to "give her" a newborn so she can have something to work on AND have a reason to live with me.

It's the delusion and the entitlement for me. Thanks for listening.

Never heard of such nonsense.

I said to the manager that I couldn’t commit without a test drive.

So that was the end of that and I just left.

We’re not talking about some exotic car like a Ferrari - I’m sure they don’t allow just anyone to test drive their cars. It was a used BMW.

Anyone else experience this ?

I'm am older millennial going through a divorce which will most certainly leave me in financial ruin. My boomer parents are supportive and wonderful people, but my siblings and I often have to deprogram them from FoxNews.

They inquired "When are you going to buy another house?". I broke down the financials to tell them I wouldn't be able to afford a house until I was 54. They replied with "That's not right what's your monthly salary"? I broke down my salary minus garnishments (alimony and child support), then taxes. I explained that due to changes in The Trump Tax Act of 2017 the payor is required to pay taxes on all divorce garnishments; so I'm essentially paying my ex's taxes at a higher rate. My real tax rate compared to pay I receive is about 40%.

Their reply was a short "Trump wouldn't do that."

I honestly didn't know how to reply. This wasn't exactly an opinion (or anything political), it's a financial breakdown. Did I miss a story in my childhood where Trump rescued me from the bottom of a well?

[Edit: A couple of people have corrected me. The 2017 law shifted the tax burden for spousal support/alimony only; so not child support. I'm new in all this]

Ok I'm 71 F , in Canada doctor's office presently, sitting in roomful of almost all kindergarten people. I was waiting in line to register, standing a little aside for the person's privacy, then it happened and I immediately thought of you guys...older typical boomer, socks/ sandals, flowery polo and shorts... suddenly lunges ahead of me ( I'm 5 feet tall, he is about 5'10 ish) and I immediately react with (in french) hey you, go away now, it's MY turn and YOU know it so move back ...I wish I had taken a pic of the utter surprise and shock on that old fart's face, and even the nurse on the desk nodded yes at him . 😂 I'm not taking any shit from those self entitled decrepit mummies. There, that felt good 😊

Walking down a hospital hallway, reading a message about a patient on my phone, when an elderly gent stops me to exclaim “You look like the kid I just hit!”

I looked at him puzzled, certain I misheard. But he continued, “The other day, I hit a kid in the parking lot with my van because he was looking down at his phone!”

I just said, “If you’re running into people, you shouldn’t be driving, sir,” and walked away.

He began to yell something about how it wasn’t his fault and that the problem is the damn phones nowadays, but I had places to be.

Perhaps we should be requiring driving tests more frequently for the aged population?

I thought I would combat these by passive aggressively responding to every one by sending an email that just says “Thanks!”

Today he responded and said “You’re welcome.”

😵‍💫

My parents live in a condo building that is so saturated with seniors that people in their city think it’s a retirement home. A few years ago I was leaving Christmas dinner and one of their neighbors was dead in the parking lot. There was a man on the phone with 911 and a boomer lady standing around talking very loudly about how she’s a nurse. Of course she wasn’t actually doing anything helpful, just talking loudly for attention. At the time I was on the emergency response team in a high risk work environment so I had annual training and the most advanced cpr certification.

I assessed the guy, sent my husband to grab the AED in the condo lobby, and started compressions. Boomer lady freaked out. She screamed me that I was pushing too hard and I was going to break something. She lost her mind when I pulled out a plastic face shield and accused me of trying to suffocate the guy. Meanwhile there’s a crowd forming around us primarily made up of seniors from the condo building. They believed her and start yelling at me to let the professional take over. Against my better judgement I let her switch in, but it became very obvious very quickly that she had no idea how to perform CPR. When my husband showed up with AED she didn’t even know what it was.

Thankfully this distracted her so I had the opportunity to take over compressions again and my husband started to cut the guy’s shirt. Cue more screaming. We can’t cut his shirt off! People will see him shirtless! Husband ignored her and kept going so she decided to grab the hood of his coat and yank him backwards while he was using scissors. The shirt was cut enough at that point for me to get the pads on him and the AED detected a shockable rhythm. I shifted backwards and did the everybody clear routine. Then I see boomer lady’s hand shoot out of nowhere. This moron was trying to cover up dead man’s chest with the cut up flaps of shirt when the AED was preparing to deliver a shock.

She stopped at the last possible second after multiple people yelled at her. Then she didn’t understand why I could continue compressions after the shock was administered. According to her the body was electrified and not safe to touch forevermore. She complained loudly that nobody was yelling at me. When the paramedics arrived she walked right up to them and started telling them all about her CPR attempt. It was satisfying to see her facial expression when they walked past her and started asking us, the people on the ground with the dead guy, questions.

He didn’t make it. We went back inside to tell my parents and decompress. Guess who shows up at their door 15 minutes later? Boomer lady looking to tell my parents about my disrespectful behaviour.

The most frustrating part of the whole evening was my mom agreeing with her. Apparently boomer lady WAS a nurse so she knows best.

A document contained the wrong SS# and I let them know. They simply replied "That's what our payroll shows." That's it.

Oh, okay. I'll just email the feds and let them know that's what you got and I'm sure they'll make a correction on their end.