Both my husband and I work full time. I work Real Estate and he works at a shipyard. We both collectively work around 50-60hr weeks. We have 4 kids. 13yo twins, 12yo, and 8mo. My husband has every weekend off. I do not.
I implicated a chore system from the time my kids were little. But ever since I had the baby and since the kids are older, ALL of them have slacked off tremendously (including husband). I pick our baby up from daycare around 5pm and when I get home, I usually find my husband on the couch on his phone and the kids in their rooms playing video games/watching make up tutorials. The house is generally a mess and honestly, the only issue I have is the dishes. I couldn't give fuck all about anything else (because the rest of the house generally isn't dirty-dirty, just cluttered). But I have expressed several times that I am tired of having to wash all the dishes in order to cook and have lashed out in some not so nice ways (shut off the Internet entirely and took the chord with me to work so no one could use the wifi/watch tv, canceled family trips, groundation, got in to big arguments with my husband). Things will change for a week to a month and then switch right back to them refusing to help. I'm honestly so tired of it that I don't even have the energy to speak up anymore.
As I said, my husband has weekends off so he and the kids were home yesterday while I worked. Before I took off for the day I told them "you guys chores had better be completed by the time I get home". They said "yes ma'am" and I leave. I text husband around 4:30p asking what they all wanted for dinner because I had to stop off at the grocery store. I pick up what he said they all wanted and walk in to my home, to find that not a single dish had been washed and there was at least 10 more dishes in the sink from when I left that morning. I also noted that only a load of laundry had been washed and was still sitting in the washer and was never switched to the dryer. Husband was on his ass on the couch watching YouTube. Kids off playing video games. Baby in her walker. So, I put the groceries on the table, packed a bag for the baby and told my husband "have at it, I'm going to Applebee's" and left. Maybe 20 minutes later he calls and says "I washed the dishes, sorry. I was super tired today." I told him that's zero excuse at all. There's 3 older kids who have chores and he couldn't even step up and tell his kids to complete anything either. It's pure laziness at this point. He said "I know, I'm sorry, I'm trying to work on it. Can you just come home, I don't know how to make this dish" (it's a pretty difficult dish but google is free). I told him no, I'm sitting at Applebee's and will be enjoying my steak and shrimp with the baby in peace and that him and the older kids can fend for themselves because apology or not, I'm not letting him off the hook here. He had me on speaker phone, so him and all the kids laid right in to me, asking me to please grab them something from Applebee's (it's all of our favorite restaurant). I said absolutely not and hung up the phone. When I returned home the groceries had been put away and apparently they had grilled cheese and cereal for dinner. My husband and kids are still pissed at me. I told them this is how it will be every single time they don't do chores from now on. AITA?
My wife and I have been married for apx 3 years. We had both previously been married before, to other people...my first marriage was 21 years, her's was about 9.
We got married after dating for about a year. She had a 16 yo son with her. I had a daughter of about the same age that split time with myself and her mother.
Anyhow, my new wife and her son moved in and she asks if he can have a dog. I had 2 small dogs with me at the time that I had owned for several years. I assumed he would get a smaller breed dog, considering we had a small house with a small yard and 2 small dogs...Boy, was I in for a surprise.
He goes out and gets a dog that, as a 3 week old, already towers over my 2 dogs. The dog is nothing but hell. He chews up anything and everything he can get his mouth on. I had a sound system with klipsh speakers and he destroys them. He ate a chunk out of my coffee table, chewed up my $700 rug...it just never ended.
I was very upset by all of this and even more upset when I caught her son setting his phone up to record me when he left the house...to make sure I wasn't mean to his hell hound. He would also take it upon hisself to review all footage on my outdoor security system...my wife never said shit to him about any of it. I finally had enough and told them that the dog is no longer allowed in the house.
He gets pissed, moves out and has rarely spoken to me since. He shows up to the house to visit his mom, but makes sure to bring the dogs (he went out and got another dog of the same breed as well) and tells his mom he won't come inside because his dogs aren't allowed inside. Granted, I did make the concession that, while he was over, the dogs could stay in the backyard...not good enough, apparently, as he refuses to do that.
Now, after years of arguing about this, it has driven me insane and i yelled at my wife...now, that is framed as the reason for our difficulties.
She is getting ready to move out as I type this.
Wtf.