My husband and I have 3 kids (10mo f, 4m, 10f). We currently have a nanny, Isabelle (22f) 3 days a week.

I have to say, Isabelle is fucking amazing. She drives on field trips, she does homework with the kids, she handles play dates, she's the one adult my 10 year old likes, she's not dependent on screens, does art projects with the kids, she speaks 10 year old, and she's even teaching them how to cook and bake. They made mini quiches a few weeks ago.

My oldest is doing state testing right now and wanted a fun activity with her friends. Isabelle suggested a spa day and my daughter loved it. I set up a day for my 4 year old to go home with his grandparents and let Isabelle turn our living room into a spa. She picked up my daughter, my niece, and 2 friends, brought them to our house, and did their hair and nails while they laid back and did face masks.

I guess my niece was telling her mom how cool Isabelle is because my SIL texted Isabelle offering her a nanny position 4 days a week, matching whatever I pay her but for only 1 kid. Isabelle showed me the text and told me that she will have to think about it because the extra money would be nice. I told her if she promised to stay, next year I'd have her at 5 days a week with a $5 per hour raise. Isabelle turned my SIL down saying she had received a better offer and now she's telling my husband's family that I stole a nanny from her.

They're upset that I outbid my SIL and gave Isabelle extra money and hours just so my SIL wouldn't get her. My husband said it was petty. AITA for offering Isabelle a raise and more hours so she doesn't work for my SIL?

Today my wife gave our 11 year old son some blueberries. My son said that he rather not eat them because he doesn't really like blueberries. My wife replied "but these are really good" so my son hesitantly tried one blueberry and replied "Thx, but I still don't like them and rather not eat the rest". I thought that was the end of it and went to the store to get groceries for diner.

When i came back my son was crying at the table because he was forced to eat the remaining three blueberries. I asked my wife "why is he crying?" and she explained that he had to eat the blueberries because it is healthy. Thinking it was just about eating a piece of fruit i told my son that he didn't have to eat the blueberries but he did have to eat another piece of fruit instead like an apple or three strawberries or something similar. My son immediatly agreed, spat out the blueberries (in the garbage can) and started eating an apple.

This, much to my wives dismay. She said i overruled her authority and that my son will never learn to eat healthy. My reply was that it is not ok to force a child (or any other person) to eat something they don't like (especially after they tasted it). How would she feel if I forced her to eat something she doens't like? Why is it ok for her to not eat certain foods but not for our son? He likes enough vegetables and fruit in order to get a balanced diet so I think we should meet him halfway and not focus on forcing him to eat stuff we know he doesn't like (and he is not really a fussy eater so we have plenty of healthy stuff to choose from).

The situation escalated and at one point my son even said "i'll just eat the blueberries", in an attempt to de-escalate our argument (after which he took three blueberries from the fridge and swallowing them almost whole just to get it over with). Sadly for him, it didn't really work because we were already to far into the argument (although i did thank him afterwards for trying and apoligized for not being able to let it slide).

Am i the asshole because I didn't force my son to eat the blueberries and allowed him to take another piece of fruit he does like?

My ex-wife (34F) and mine’s (34M) divorce was finalized last week. It was a long process, and it lasted a year and a half. Quite simply, I didn’t love my ex wife anymore. I found some flirty texts between her and her co worker, and that was when I lost my love for her.  We have 2 children (14M, 16F), and both love their mom. 

When my divorce was finalized last week, my sister (31F) came over to celebrate, she had baked a lemon cake. My son and I both enjoyed the cake, lemon is my favorite flavor, and that cake was heaven. But my daughter refused to eat the cake, and she said it was insensitive that we were celebrating like this, given how long the divorce process was, and how painful it was for her mom. 

AITAH?

My post :

Thank you very much for all the private messages and comments. I’m so glad I posted here. So many of you suspected that he has had vasectomy. Well, I decided to have a serious discussion with him about everything last night. He said he has never cheated on me and he never will. I asked him if he had vasectomy and ffs just tell me. He didn’t even deny it. He said yea but you gotta understand I lost my wife when my youngest was an infant. It was such a traumatic time for me. I wanted to make sure I’ll never go through it again. I started crying ! I asked him how could he lie to me all these years? He didn’t even feel bad! He said “well you never asked! You asked now and I told you! Plus what’s the big deal? I have frozen sperm in the clinic and it’s a reversible procedure”. I was floored! You saw me taking pills yet you didn’t mention? He said “well, I thought you are taking pills because you have heavy period”. I couldn’t believe this man still blames me when he was the one lying in my face! I told him how unhappy I am, how burnt out I am and he uses his work hours so he can dump the responsibilities on me and I don’t even feel loved anymore. I gave him his ring back and told him I was done. He was shocked. At first he thought I was kidding then he saw me packing my clothes at 11 pm so he started arguing that I should just wait a little longer so by December he will know about his job. After that we will go to a fertility clinic and “you will have your stupid baby”. Then he started guilt tripping me. Saying stuff like his kids have already been traumatized once how could I be so selfish and leave them. I didn’t even bother answering. I left for my parent’s place. He has been begging and saying he will change , he will be more involved , and asking me to come back (“you are their mom! Come back! We miss you “)🙄. I’m mentally exhausted. I can’t believe I have been so stupid. I’m gonna start finding a place for myself near my work. Thank you

I posted a while ago about serving dog food to the woman my brother in law eventually married. Wendy hasn't changed much since then. She did shut up after she went to a few different taco places and they all told her what proper barbacoa is.

So anyway now whenever we have people over I always prepare a meal specially for her. Usually just plain unseasoned meat (other than salt and pepper, I'm not a monster) plain green salad with ranch on the side, and a plain starch like a baked potato or white rice.

I do not limit her to this food. I just always have it available in case she finds something offensive about the other food I make.

We recently hosted a dinner party that included my wife's brother and his wife. We also had some new friends over. Thea, the wife, asked if my sister in law had allergies since she was eating plain roast chicken breast with the aforementioned sides. She was worried about cross contamination since there was a lot of other food there I guess. Thea is a teacher and is hyper vigilant about food allergies.

This lead to Wendy explaining that I use cuts of meat that she did not grow up eating and that I refuse to tell her what is in the food I make.

This is a fact. I learned my lesson. I make food my friends and family enjoy. If I use an ingredient that may be against a dietary restriction I make it clear. For example if I serve pork I let everyone know. I also will answer any questions about allergens.

My sister in law says that I insist on feeding her the most bland food possible. I pointed at the salsa verde on her food and asked her if it needed more serranos.

The whole story came out and Wendy was embarrassed again. I don't think it was my fault. I have been passive aggressively been making sure she cannot complain about my cooking.

My wife says that maybe it's time to stop making a separate meal for Wendy. I said she is lucky I don't serve her dino nuggets and lunchables.

My (38F) daughter (13F) has been playing this game called Roblox since lockdown first started as a way of playing with her friends virtually as well as curing her boredom. She was obsessed with this Roblox game that’s set in a school because she missed her friends so much and it allowed her to stay connected with them. Her interest in video games has developed into an interest into technology - she’s by far at the top of her IT class and has even started learning how to code in order to make her own game.

My sister (34F) and niece (10F) have recently had to move in with us after my sister discovered that her husband was having an affair. They’re staying at my house for the time being while she saves up money for a place of their own.

My niece and daughter usually get along, and they both bond over their interest in Roblox. Last week, my daughter was completely distraught and crying nonstop. She said that she saw her cousin playing on a Roblox game and realised her cousin’s avatar had a lot more items than usual. She decided to join her, only to realise that her account had been hacked and she’d lost nearly every item she had on her favourite Roblox game. She’d lost 800K of the in-game currency and nearly her entire inventory, which she claimed was worth over 5 million of the in-game currency. She had spent the last four years saving up for those items and everything was gone just like that.

My daughter began accusing my niece of hacking her account. My niece denied it at first, but quickly broke under pressure and admitted everything. The previous day, they had been playing the game together when I called them down to dinner. My niece has only been playing for a few months and I suppose she would be considered a ‘noob’. She begged my daughter to give her some of her items, and my daughter refused, saying that she should earn the items by herself. When my daughter came down, my niece decided to stay behind for a minute to transfer all of my daughter’s items into her account.

I tried to mediate the situation, but my sister is refusing to co-operate. She told me that it’s only a game, it’s not like my daughter spent real money on it. I attempted to explain just how much this game means to my daughter, to which my sister said that my daughter should count herself lucky that her biggest problem is a bunch of pixels on a screen. She said my daughter was a teenager now and was too old to be acting this immature over a game. My niece refuses to give my niece her stuff back and says it’s unfair that my daughter gets to have everything she wants both in real life and online. I told my sister and niece that both of them were acting like ungrateful brats considering how I was letting them stay in my home rent free.

Today, I gave her an ultimatum: if my niece doesn’t return everything she hacked from my daughter, they would both have one week to leave. I told her that I refuse to let anyone disrespect my daughter under my roof. AITA?

The ex and I have been divorced for several years. After the divorce, I bought another house and she moved to a nearby city. The schools in my city are among the highest ranked schools in our state and one of the high school is ranked top 20 in the country. The schools in her city is among the lowest ranked with regularly fights and even kids hitting teachers. After a year of the kids going to the schools in her city, we decided our kids should go to school here.

When the ex have custody, she drops them off at my house in the mornings so they can take the bus to school then they stay at my house after school, eat dinner with me, and do their homework until she picks them up around 8.

A couple of years ago she married a guy who has sole custody of a couple of kids around the same ages as mine. His kids go to the schools in her city. The end of school is next week and as she picked up the kids last night, she asked if I’d be willing to let them use my address so that the other kids can join mine. She said that there was a big fight this week at one of their schools and at the beginning of the year, a video of one of the students beating a teacher made the news.

Her idea is that she changes her address to mine and we keep the same schedule with just added kids. I immediately refused since (1) I don’t want the ex to have my address on her license and (2) I don’t want to take care of kids I don’t know for 4 or 5 hours a day. She thinks I’m being dramatic and putting those kids in danger. She also said that her kids are going to have less of an education where they are and be less prepared for college than ours.

Am I wrong for not wanting responsibilities for random kids?

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by in

trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation

NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

- Feb 7, 2024

My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.

I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.

This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).

So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.

My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.

This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.

She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.

But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.

• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.

The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?

As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.

It gets worse.

We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.

You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.

She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.

She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.

I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.

So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.

What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?

Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?

Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.

Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.

I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.

It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.

Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.

Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:

Comment 1:

NTA.

I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.

Comment 2:

Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.

Comment 3:

NB here OP.

You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.

But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.

Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.

Comment 4:

NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.

OOP's response:

Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.

Comment 5:

Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.

I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.

The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.

But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.

First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.

Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications

You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.

Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.

OOP's response:

Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.

Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.

Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.

Thanks again.

OOP commented with some of her concerns:

Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.

This has been a bad day. :(

Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:

Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.

I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.

She also clarified her overall views on the matter:

I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.

But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.

Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.

I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.

This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.

AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.

- Feb 17, 2024

Hi,

This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)

So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.

Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.

Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.

They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.

Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.

So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.

I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.

Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)

• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)

• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)

• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.

Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.

It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.

There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.

I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.

I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.

I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.

I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.

I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.

I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.

It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.

I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.

She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.

I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.

The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.

Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?

Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:

Comment 1:

For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.

Comment 2:

This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.

NTA

OOP's response:

I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.

Comment 3:

NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.

OOP's response:

That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.

Comment 4:

Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.

OOP's response:

Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.

I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.

OOP hasn't posted since the last update.

Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

TL;DR- pulled up restaurants in an app and accidentally ordered my breakfast the app charged double what the restaurant charged.

This morning I found myself with free time and wanting to get out of a funk. I decided to take myself out to breakfast. My friends recommended a few places around town, and to easily compare the restaurants and prices I pulled them up in door dash rather than multiple phone browsers.

I decided on the most delicious breakfast bagel I’ve ever seen- toasted on a cheese and tomato bread, cream cheese, avocado, bacon, and I went crazy and added extra tomatoes. I had a plan and knew what I wanted.

Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what door dash would charge to have it delivered. My $23 gourmet bagel and coffee would be $43 if ordered through the app. I audibly laughed and took a screenshot and through nothing of it.

I put my phone down to get ready to go, and when I got out of the shower I realized I somehow hit the order button and my bagel was on its way.

I somehow ordered the world’s most expensive bagel. Was it worth it? Absolutely- but not for $43 bucks. This is probably my new favorite breakfast item- but would be way better in person and fresh and hot. For the record, even delivered lukewarm it was spectacular.

Behold the world’s most expensive and delicious bagel.

Me (F30) and my sister Lisa (F26) grew up in a modest family. Our parents had very small sum to contribute to college tuition and no money saved up for our weddings . They are still working cause they can't afford to retire.

I went to college on scholarship and hold a pretty good job. I had my wedding last year, it was intimate but very nice (a bit expensive) that me and my husband paid for.

My sister is engaged and wants a nice wedding like mine. Except she never went to college, holds job as assistant in a shop at mall and her fiance is in construction. They can't afford a wedding like mine.

She asked my parents for help but they can't. They are still paying off mortgage on their home. She asked me and I gave 3k as wedding gift yesterday which she may use for the wedding. She called asking when I was gonna send balance amount and when I said this was it, was mad at me telling how it wasn't enough for her dream dress even. How she needed way more to have a nice wedding like mine.

I told her this was the gift I was willing to give her. She said it wasn't fair since I had money. I do, but everything I have is earmarked for my needs. I told her as much. She called me a cheap b**ch and hung up.

My parents called me disappointed I wasn't helping my sister out more since this was all she had in her life. I told them wedding wasn't a necessity and she should hold one that she can afford, not rely on me.

They are mad at me now as well, and apparently thinking of taking another loan on the house to finance her wedding.

AITA?

I am a 52m recently separated from my ex (49f) of 18 yrs. We share custody (week on, week off) with our 2 children, a 13 yr old daughter and soon-to-be 15 yr old son.

The relationship ended mostly amicably, noone cheated on each other, as far as I know. Just drifted apart, 'friend-zoned'. When we split we agreed that I would stay in our old 4-bdrm family home for a few more years, while our kids were still at high school (we lived right next door to my son’s high school). I would continue to pay down our mortgage (on my own) and also pay for any additional renovations (on my own) that we still have left to complete, since buying the place 4 yrs ago. When the time comes to sell she will get her 50%.

She agreed to move out into her own 3-bdrm rental out by the beach. I am paying her child support, as she only earns about 1/3 of what I do in her part time (30hrs/wk) job. The rest of her income comes from Govt social support. We have a joint bank account where we both put money into to cover the kids general needs.

This week is my son's 15th birthday, he's big into gaming, basketball and fishing. When he moves between our two places he's brings his Xbox with him. I have paid for two computer monitors, one at each property, just so he can do this easily and be happy. He has a home-made basketball hoop (that he helped me build & paint for him when he was a young 10 year old lad) mounted on the outside of my house for him to practice, whenever he stays with me.

My ex emailed me to ask me what I think 'we' should get him for his birthday, i.e. share costs for. She listed two things, firstly a free-standing basketball hoop, and a gaming chair (all up around $1000 total), both to be used only at her place, for his enjoyment there.

I've refused to help her buy these particular options, I'd prefer it if we spent our money on something that he'll enjoy getting the benefits from wherever he may be. Like new clothes, a new device, a new bike, fishing gear etc, or a shared family experience with both of us present. I thought that was reasonable.

My ex-wife thinks I'm being a jerk with this stance, for not agreeing to pay anything for these particular presents, to help furnish her house or his bedroom there. She's suggesting that it's not fair that he can play basketball at my place and not hers, or that he feels more comfortable playing video games at my place, and not hers. She’s now accusing me of starting to play some kind petty 'tit-for-tat' game with her, by ‘not fairly contributing enough towards my son's happiness on his birthday’.

My fear is that I am indeed being unnecessarily picky with this battle, being too selfish, and denying her the right to be able to make her home as happy or as comfortable as mine, for my son to live in.

AITA?

This happened about 10 years ago. I was at home, and my cat was being a little crazy (as cats do). My sister saw my cat scratching on the carpet and made a snarky comment to my mom, who I was living with at the time, that I should get rid of that "stupid bitch of a cat and get her put down." and started laughing. I of course react not so nicely, and she asks me why I am being a "see you next Tuesday." if you are catching my drift. My sister is a chronic shit-stirrer, so she made me upset, and I left for an event I had to go to. 

A few hours later, I get a call, and I answer. It was a police officer. I thought the worst and asked what was going on. It turns out my dad was at a bar, and I guess he got a little too tipsy. They said he was lying down next to the building and pooped himself. I, of course, am pretty close to said bar, but my sister was too. I told the police officer on the phone that I was at an event and was not available and to call my sister. I gave him my sister's number and put my phone on Do Not Disturb. I checked my phone an hour later and had five missed calls, as well as a bunch of texts from her saying that she got a call from the officer and that Dad needed to be picked up immediately before they took him to the police station.

It turns out she went to pick him up, and his pants were worse than the officer said. She had to clean him up quite a bit before taking him back home. I had voicemails cussing me out about how she had to pick him up and clean him. I called her back later and asked how it went. She was angry and asked why I couldn't do it. I tell her, "Sorry, I was too busy putting my stupid bitch of a cat down" and hang up. No, my cat was not put down, and she for sure got the message to not mess with me again.

Edit to add context: The carpet was a piece of carpet that was cut out and leftover from the house being built, my mom was okay with the cat scratching that piece of carpet.

Edit 2: mom and dad are divorced, that's why I got called instead

I have 2 wonderful kids, a son, Oscar 15M and a daughter, Holly 17F. My son gets very very bad migraines. He can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything. Its a stressful time for everyone in our family and when he gets them he usually takes a day or 2 off school (it happens rarely so this is not an issue). He's currently in one of these 'episodes' as my wife and I have taken to calling them, so he is in the guest room resting. Obviosuly, he can't do chores when he's like this so usually me or my wife pick up the slack.

Holly always gets a bit edgy when Oscar has these attacks and generally acts a bit grumpy. I always assumed these were out of concern for her brother so would usually get her some sweets or something to take her mind off it. Today Holly saw me emptying the trash which is usually one of Oscar's chores and did that really prolonged sigh which people do when they want you to ask them whats wrong. I put the trash back and went to talk to her.

Holly is upset because we never do all this for her when she has a headache. I explained, gently, that Oscar doesn't get headaches, he gets migraines, and that when she's as sick as he is we do, do 'all this' but Holly was still upset. This all came on quite quickly so I tried to get her to understand, but she refuses she carried on telling me how Oscar should just get 'off his lazy butt',

I reprimanded her for talking about her brother like that, especially since she knows how hard this is for Oscar and he's hardly having a good time playing video games or something. (edit: as in he's not doing something enjoyable, not that he's not enjoying playing games, he can't play games rn). Holly continued saying it was unfair for us (edit: me and my wife, obviously not Holly) to do all his chores, and he should at least do the garden. We have a big garden, and neither me nor my wife is fit enough to take care of it like we used to and Oscar, being the sporty guy he is took over.

I told her, bluntly that if she cared so much about the garden, she could just do it herself. She got really mad about this and I'll admit I probably shouldn't have suggested it. She started accusing me of favoritism, etc. I told her to go to her room to calm down, because she was shouting loudly and Oscar was resting in the room right next to us. She stormed off. But now I'm wondering if I was too harsh, AITA?

When I (40M) was a kid, I was groomed by a cousin 11 years older than me and when I was 13, she got pregnant and had the kid. It fucked me up a lot as you can imagine and she eventually was found out and went to prison for it. The kid was took off her and went the foster care/adoption route and I was not allowed any form of relationship at all with the kid - my parents and social services forbade it. He's now 26 and has had a very troubled life I understand (been in and out of prison) . I have continued to have no relationship or contact with him.

Despite issues in my teens, I turned my life around and I'm now married to my wife (45F) and we have a daughter (6F) together. I have a son (19M) from a previous relationship who I had sole custody of until I met my wife and she has a daughter (25F) from a previous relationship. I'm no stranger to Reddit so I'll answer now yes, I have had therapy and counselling for it all.

We've had a pretty good family unit for a few years but 3 years ago, I had a hard time with my son after he found about what happened to me as a kid and he found out he technically has an older half brother and wanted a relationship with him. Despite how hard it was for me, I agreed and my wife mainly agreed to be the main support for him and be behind it all on the condition a) I have no contact myself and b) our daughter doesn't hear about it and is kept out of it. My reasoning on the latter is that she's too young to find out and I don't want to confuse her at such a young age and also, she's a kid and will talk about it and I don't want anyone to find my business out. My wife agreed and son respected my wishes and to my knowledge, it's all been handled well. The 26M got out of prison a couple of years ago and I understand my son has met him and I thought after a while, my wife stepped away a bit as he's now old enough to have contact on his own. I have never said she would never be told the truth, just that we would tell her when she was older and could understand.

Last week, I noticed my daughter was drawing a picture and I looked at it and I asked her about it. She was a bit sheepish and was acting like she wasn't supposed to so I persisted and she answered me.

It was a picture of her family. It had me, her mum, her, my son, her older sister and her "big big" brother in her words. I asked her about it after more coaxing and she said she sees him with mummy sometimes on their own. I asked her how long it's happened for and she said since she was little but mummy said she's not supposed to talk about it and said to not tell daddy as it'll upset me. I reassured her she's not in trouble and I'm not upset with her and confronted my wife about it later when she got in.

She admitted it was true and I asked her how long it's been going on and she said ever since my son had contact 3 years ago. She took my daughter to see him in prison once at the start because she didn't have childcare one day and when he got out, she's kept taking her to see him since. I asked her who knows and she admitted they all know - her, my son and even my step-daughter knows. I was beyond angry so I packed some things and left the house and have been staying at an air BnB since. She's been trying to call me to talk, so has my son and even my step-daughter has been trying to call me to talk about it. I just can't face them.

I know I need to go home today and I'm in the process of contemplating it but I genuinely feel like I can't stand them all and I'm thinking of asking for a divorce over it. My wife was the one person in life who I trusted, and had my back enough to share it all and I feel like she's done something on par with what my rapist did and betrayed my trust. Despite her keeping on saying how sorry she is, she just keeps on saying she did it for our daughter and felt sorry for the older lad.

WIBTAH?

UPDATE so I'm going to go home and talk to them all. I fucking miss my kids so much and the dog. no idea what will happen.

UPDATE 2 So I got home and me and the wife have had a chat. I've decided I don't want a divorce but we are going to separate for a bit and she's going to stay with my step-daughter for a while. We're going to try couples counselling to see where it takes us.

I see some suggestions about trying individual therapy again. That is a given and I'm definitely going again.

I've been with my husband for 7 years and it honestly kills me to walk away because outside of this issue, he is fantastic. He takes care of me, loves me, makes sure I'm taken care of, etc and I love him more than anything. But this issue has been happening for the past year and it's basically ruined my reputation among everyone.

Last year he started working for a small business and is one of 12 employees. Up until this point, he didn't have many friends. So his social life was heavily stunted and he craved interaction. So when he started working for this company and was immediately included in everything, he soaked it in. He was being invited to dinner, parties, boat trips, fires, etc within the first week of working there. By a month in, he was hanging out with these guys nearly every day after he got off work. He started drinking a lot more because all of these men drink like a fish and he is an individual who cracks under peer pressure and is a follower by nature. He told me several times that he felt like he couldn't say no. It started causing a lot of fights, because I was pregnant when this began and I felt so pushed to the side and forgotten about. He started coming home from 9p-1a (he was off work at 430p). A few times having stayed out until 5 o'clock in the morning. I started shutting down because I was tired of repeating myself and expressing my needs, just to have him do whatever his friends wanted anyways. After I gave birth to our daughter, he got better for awhile. He stopped going out. I think by the time the baby was 3 months old, he had only gone out once. But after that, he fell right back in to old patterns and didn't even tell me when he was leaving anymore. I would think he was home but he had left to go riding four-wheelers with his buddies or to a party down the street. So, a month ago I went psycho. I walked over to the window just as he was taking off on his fourwheeler and watched him pull in to our neighbors yard (a big party spot). I walked down there with the baby and lost my shit on him in front of everyone there and told him I was leaving because he was inconsiderate and neglectful and I was tired of repeating myself. Everyone just sat there staring at me, completely silent. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I shouldn't have gone up there at all but in that moment I just didn't even think about it. Now I regret it. But anyways, he literally looks at me and doesn't say anything. Comes home 30 minutes later and goes to sleep on the floor.

He stopped going out after that. But I started noticing that everyone was treating me like crap. If I spoke to anyone, they would just look at me and walk away or they would avoid me altogether. It became very awkward and I stopped going outside at all and started isolating. Well, I overheard my husband on the phone last night saying "I know man, I wish I could come but Hannah won't let me." Followed by a "I know, it's bullshit." I asked him who he was talking to. He hangs up. I ask to see his phone and he kept asking why but eventually gave it to me. There were tens of texts to his buddies blaming me for him not going out. Saying "Hannah won't let me" or "Hannah said no" or "I can't fucking do anything because lord forbid I get time to myself after busting my ass to keep a roof over her head". He had not asked me one single time if I minded if he went out. So he just told them no and blamed me without even running it by me. This is NOT who my husband was before he got tied in with this group of coworkers. I just start packing up me and my daughter. He was following me around the house, begging, crying, telling me not to leave, apologizing. Before I left I said "I've sat by and dealt with being chose second to a bunch of people who would never choose you first and you still blamed me and made me look like the one in the wrong. Now you can live the life you want without me controlling you." I am at my mother's and have told him not to contact me unless it's about our child. My best friend is telling me I need to work it out because my husband is truly a great guy and I know this isn't him. But I can't trust him anymore. AITA?

I’ve always made this point to everyone I’ve ever ate doughnuts with, and they all think I’m crazy, but I think I’m right.

Almost all doughnuts have something on top. Sugar, chocolate, sprinkles, whatever it is. When you eat it normally, your tongue tastes mostly dough, rather than the topping.

Everyone knows the best part of doughnuts are the topping, so by eating it upside down, you’re getting the best part fully on your tongue, rather than just some of it.

I (27F) have a (34M) husband. We got married 6 years ago and we were together for 3 years prior to that. When we first met, he was very fit and quite the gym rat. however, since our wedding he has gained over 225 pounds and is still adding to that number. He is not the man i fell in love with. Every day when i come home from work, the kitchen is trashed. He cant clean up for himself anymore and needs assistance with many daily tasks. It hurts to see how much he has lost himself. And honestly, i’m getting quite tired. i didn’t sign up for this! it’s like i’m working 2 jobs. last week, when i served him divorce papers, he blew up on me. he said how could i do this to him, and accused me of being fat-phobic. since then, his entire side of the family has been harassing me nonstop. theyve been telling everyone i know that i’m a terrible person and it’s really starting to get to me. So, AITAH?

Hello! I'm 24(f) and I live with my parents currently. I'm doing this to save money and they haven't charged me rent until now. I've been basically "paying" rent by doing the chores, mainly cleaning the house, groceries shopping, managing their bills, cooking their meals and taking care of my 5(f) cousin(due to some circumstances my parents are currently her guardians) when I'm off work.

This hasn't left me with that much free time however it's been in fact helping me save money so I've been more than happy with this arrangement.

Recently however my parents have asked me to start paying rent. I asked them if everything was ok and if they're struggling but they told that's not the case and they just feel like I should contribute more since they've been letting me stay with them for free after finishing college. I'm not gonna lie I was a bit bumped but the rent they wanted from me was still a way better deal than anything else i would find somewhere else so I accepted.

A few hours ago however my mom confronted me about how I've been slacking off on my chores after I told her I can't take care of my cousin since I had plans with some friends.

She said they tried to be understanding but this can't keep going on and I asked her what she meant. Since the deal was that me doing chores was going to be how I pay rent, now that I'm actually paying rent I'll stop doing them and I thought that was obvious. She got mad, called me ungrateful and spoiled. I told her she can't expect me to pay rent AND all do all these chores that left me with no free time and that I'd be better off if I just found my own place even if it was going to cost me more at this point.

She got angry once more because I'd rather "give money to some stranger than your own family" and said she can't believe how big of an AH I am and to just wait until my dad hears about it. He's gonna be back in a few hours and honestly I've been thinking about our fight, if you can even call it that, and I'm wondering if I really am entitled for how I feel?

Apologies for any mistakes/errors.

EDIT: thank you everyone for your input. i think the majority of you are right when it comes to the moving out thing. This is probably the only solution regardless of the outcome of our hopefully peaceful family discussion. Thank you for the advice and suggestions :)

Growing up, my sibling and I were very close. We shared everything and supported each other through thick and thin. However, when my sibling came out as LGBTQ+, our parents reacted in a way that shocked and devastated us all.

Instead of accepting and supporting my sibling, my parents disowned them. It happened during a family dinner. My sibling had finally gathered the courage to come out to our parents, hoping for their understanding and love. Instead, our parents' faces turned to stone. They told my sibling that they were a disappointment, that their identity was a choice, and that they could no longer be a part of our family if they continued on this path.

My sibling was heartbroken and struggled emotionally. They felt abandoned by our parents and deeply hurt by their rejection. Despite my efforts to mediate and reason with our parents, they refused to reconsider their stance. It was clear that their love was conditional, and it didn't extend to accepting our sibling for who they truly were.

Seeing how much pain my sibling was in and feeling betrayed by our parents' lack of acceptance, I decided to take a stand. I confronted our parents about their decision and expressed how deeply disappointed and hurt I was by their actions. I told them that their behavior was unacceptable and that I couldn't condone their treatment of my sibling.

My parents were defensive and unapologetic. They insisted that their beliefs were deeply held and that they couldn't support something they didn't believe in. They accused me of trying to force them to accept something they never could and of betraying the family by choosing my sibling over them.

In the days that followed, the tension in our family was palpable. My parents refused to acknowledge my sibling's existence, and any mention of them was met with cold silence or heated arguments. It became clear to me that my parents weren't going to change their minds, and I couldn't stand by silently while my sibling suffered.

So, I made the difficult decision to cut off contact with my parents. I couldn't bear to watch my parents treat my sibling this way, and I felt that their actions were unforgivable. It wasn't just about my sibling; it was about standing up for what I believed in and refusing to accept bigotry and intolerance in my life.

Now, my parents are reaching out, saying they miss me and want to reconcile. They claim they regret their actions and want to make amends. They say they love both of us and want our family to be whole again.

Some of my relatives and friends support my decision to cut off my parents, understanding the pain my sibling went through and the importance of standing up for them. Others think I should forgive our parents and try to rebuild our family for the sake of unity.

I think Disneyworld as a whole is overrated but Epcot is particularly egregious.

When the park opened in the 70s, an international pavilion still made sense. International travel for Americans was still expensive and not super common.

But now it’s cheaper to fly and visit the countries represented at Epcot than it is to visit Epcot.

Why go to Epcot and go to the stereotypical Italian pavilion when I can literally fly to Italy and spend two weeks there for less money than a week in Disney?

Not to mention the rides are pretty outdated. Spaceship earth has a 70s charm to it, but is worth the $10k to visit Disney? I don’t think so.

Me (24M) and my Fiancé (26F) recently got engaged after dating for 1.5 years. She recently got a call from an unknown number and left the room, then came back in crying. When I asked her about it, she simply said it was her FORMER drug dealer and he was asking is she wanted to buy anything. She told me she is 2 years sober and that she doesn't understand why he was calling her.

When i found out, I was (i believe) justifiably upset. Not that she was an addict, but that she hadnt told me. I am a professional Recovery Coach and troubled youth mentor, so i could've helped her and supported her with her sobriety.

This morning she sat me down and said expressed the fact that she felt as though I wasn't being "Supportive Enough of her sobriety and life journey", even though I have tried since I found out, but she doesn't like to talk about her addiction and recovery with me. I'm upset because she feels as though I'm not supporting her, but for the last year and a half I didn't even know what she was going through

Am I overreacting?

Me (F24) and my boyfriend (M26) are finally pregnant after trying for a few months (yay). Naturally we told our family’s about our great news, expecting a happy response. My parents are divorced and my mother has been remarried for over 17 years. So we firstly told my mother (future grandma to our baby) and she was so happy and excited about it. When we told my dad, whom I don’t have a great relationship with, and his wife since 5 years back, his wife, let’s call her Ingrid, directly assumed she would be our baby’s grandma. I politely said that she would not be a grandma, because that space is already filled by my mother and my boyfriend’s mother. Ingrid did not take this well and she said that we should be so lucky to have HER as a grandma to our kid and that she hopes we will regret our decision. I might have gotten a bit triggered by this and told her that she barely knows me, and his not really tried to make an effort to know me and therefore she certainly would not in any way be a grandma to our kid. She stormed out of the house and I have not talked to her since this.

I don’t get it because my mother’s husband (who I grew up with and have lived with most of my life) did not at any time assume he would be called grandpa because in his own words “I’m not your dad, so why would I be your baby’s grandpa” AITA?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is posting in and her user account.

Concluded as per OOP

1 update - Medium

- 9th May 2022

- 17th November 2022

My cat and I are both 22. Every time I left for college, I would say goodbye not knowing if he would still be around when I got back.

My cat and I are both 22. Every time I left for college, I would say goodbye not knowing if he would still be around when I got back. I graduate next weekend. He made it. I love you, Yellow.

Comments

dcoble

Aww man, my first cat was 21 and I was 22 when my parents called to tell me they were finally putting him to rest. I was between classes but I went back to my apt and skipped the rest of the day.

OOP: I'm so sorry. It's always tough when a pet passes. Yellow had a buddy that was a few years younger than him, at least we think. They were both strays. We never expected to lose him before Yellow, but sadly about a year ago now I got a phone call that he had suddenly passed. It was heartbreaking. He was jumping on counters trying to steal food until the very end though. I hope you are doing well now.

Update - 7 months later

Hello Reddit! It is I, Sylph_Co! Aka the girl with the cat the same age as her.

I have gotten a few requests for an update on Yellow. I'm aware that I have gone viral on various other platforms since my original post, most recently Twitter. I have seen a few comments on there wanting to know how he is doing now.

Since this is on my personal page, I'm not sure how many will end up seeing this, but I figured there was no better place.

My sweet Yellow passed away a few weeks after my original post. He made it to graduation weekend and was around for the celebrations.

He hadn't been doing all that well in the months leading up to it, so unfortunately as much as it broke our hearts, we made the decision to let him go. I was given the day off of work to spend time with my family and him. He got plenty of love and treats.

Yellow lived a very long wonderful life. I wanted to share a bit of his story.

My parents bought a plot of land in 2004. When they did, they had no idea it came with an added bonus, a cat.

Yellow was a stray who had been living off the land for quite some time. Oddly, he was fixed. I'm aware of catch and release programs for feral cats, but Yellow didn't have anything that signified he was a part of a program like that.

In the area we lived in, the middle of nowhere, it was unfortunately common for people to abandon pets there. My family cared for several cats over the years. So while we will never know for sure, we assumed he had been abandoned.

I was 4, and was of course obsessed with the giant yellow kitty that was hanging around all the time. I kept pointing at him and calling him a "Yellowie Cat", so that is where his full name came from. Yellowie.

Yellow was taken to the vet in 2005, and was estimated to be between 5 and 10 years old. We ended up assuming the lowest number as time went on. He was officially part of the family.

Yellow loved food. He was obsessed. His oddest obsession was cheese. If I ever left any food with cheese unattended, he would immediately steal it. Mac and cheese was his absolute favorite thing to steal, but it was hard to ever be angry with him.

Yellow was a pretty boy and he knew it. He loved attention and loved being brushed. When we brushed him he would spin in circles to make sure he was "even". If you were not giving him enough attention, he would hook his paw around your hand and pull you to him to pet him.

Yellow's biggest challenge happened a few years after we adopted him. He was hit by a car. He would have died, had the lady driving not acted quickly. She scooped him up, and carried him to our door, asking if he belonged to us and apologizing profusely.

I'm grateful for her every day. She hit him, but that could have happened to anyone. A lot of people would have just left him there, but she saved his life. I wish every day I could thank her and let her know he survived. If you somehow end up seeing this, I hope you do not feel bad about what happened. Thank you for saving my boy.

He woke up while we were on the phone with the vet and wandered over to his food bowl to start eating, despite having multiple serious injuries.

He made a full recovery, only losing a few teeth, and having a permanent white tuft of fur on his head where the vet had to put a staple. After that incident, he became strictly an indoor cat, though he did protest.

Yellow was with us through it all. He was my entire childhood, I have very few memories of times before he was in my life.

Yellow survived being abandoned, getting hit by a car, and he lived through a pandemic. The night after he passed, I had a dream where my Grandma told me that she would take care of him. It was very comforting.

A few months after his passing, I finally got an apartment that allowed pets, and I decided to go adopt a cat.

When I got there, this massive cat escaped the cat room and came up to me. He was a stray that had been picked up off the street, and unfortunately had an injured paw and lost a toe as a result. He had been there the longest.

Maybe it's silly, but I felt like Yellow had lead him to me in a way. I knew this sweet boy needed my help.

I named him Thunderstorm, because his gray fur with black markings reminded me of a storm cloud. I named yet another cat after their fur color. I guess some things never change. :p

Thunder will know nothing but love for the rest of his life, just like Yellow.

It makes me very happy that the photo of him continues to be shared all over. My goal for even posting in the first place was for him to be remembered, and now the abandoned stray from the middle of nowhere is remembered by many all over the world. From South Africa to Russia. It's amazing how many responses I've seen.

Thank you for all of the love my family has gotten. I compiled a bunch of positive reddit comments and put them together into a scrapbook with a bunch of photos of Yellow. The kindness of all of you helped us get through the heartbreak. Hug your fur babies close for me, okay? They might only be with us for a small part of our lives, but we are their entire life.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is . She posted in . Thank you to for the original recommendation and to for letting me know about the update

Previous BORU . New Updates (starting with one from a few months ago and ending with one 7 days old) marked with *****

Read trigger warnings

Trigger Warnings: infant abuse; spousal abuse; drug use; stalking; kidnapping attempt

Mood Spoiler: utterly terrifying and disturbing

Original : March 16, 2024

My husband (42m) and I (35f) tried for so long to have our boys and girl. Due to a health issue my husband suffered he developed fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our children because if we didn’t he’d probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them into the world and now he’s jealous and distant with them?

He’s constantly in competition with his own infant children. If I hold the children he gets frustrated. Any time they take my attention away he gets completely pissy. He’s always in a foul mood, irritable and just down right nasty. I don’t understand it. Why is he like this? Our children are barely 6 months and they won’t stop crying every time he’s near. I feel like they can sense his negativity. I tried talking to him. Ive suggested he take interest in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know it can sometimes take a little longer for parents to bond with their children but this is down right scary to experience. He’s full of jealousy and envy. He sees our children as competition to my time and affections.

A few times now he has made comments about feeling frustrated that I still breast feed our children. The thing is we mix feed so he has had ample opportunity to feed them and he just doesn’t. He also said that this (meaning our life&our marriage after children) wasn’t what he thought it would be like. I mean what did he expect? A singular baby cries and three of them cry a lot.

We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 7 years. He wanted these children. He pushed for them and now this. I never thought this would ever be me. I am scared. I am scared for my children. I have tried talking to him but he just brushes me off. I’ve suggested counseling. He refuses. He tells me it’s all in my head. I want to save this marriage but I am scared I won’t be able to and maybe it’s not worth saving.

He comes home later everyday. He avoids us on the weekends and any time he has off. I’m not ashamed to say that I went through his phone and there are a lot flirtatious text between him and a “Jessica”. I don’t think anything has happened between them but it sure looks like they are building up to it. I haven’t said anything because I’m afraid. Where do I go with three children, with no money and no family that can help me? I haven’t worked in two years and I’ve spent all my savings on having these children. My mind is in a complete meltdown. I can’t sleep I can’t think and I’m always exhausted.

What the hell happened? Is this him now forever?

Edit: Some of you are some real evil bastards ! Stop blaming me for him mistreating me! I do not deserve to be treated this way and neither do my kids! Stop messaging me evil things!

Relevant Comments:

Examples of 'competition':

If I’m with the kids and say I’m feeding them he gets upset I’m focusing on them and not him, or as he likes to say I’m fussing over them. He expects they sleep through the night and gets upset when I’m with them instead of in bed with him. He has even made weird comments about me loving them more than him.

Did he really want kids or did YOU want kids?

Due to my husband’s fertility issues he was the one pushing for us to have kids. He knew early on that he had a health condition and wanted us to have children way earlier but I asked if we could wait but then his condition worsened so we agreed to get treatment before he couldn’t have any kids. He desperately wanted to be a father and they are biologically ours. His desire to be a father was one of the qualities I liked about him when we started dating.

I’ve always worked and the plan was for me to stay home for the first 2/3 years and perhaps work part time until the kids were school aged. But that’s out the window now because I don’t want to ever be this vulnerable! I’ve been brushing off my cv and scouring the internet for a job. I will never allow myself to be this vulnerable again.

Does he help at ALL? Do you have a support system you could go to?

He doesn’t help me at all. I take care of our kids on my own. My parents are long gone and my sister is abroad. She stayed with us for the birth and a month after the children were born. She lives in France but she’s due to return home this summer. So I know I’ll have her help when she’s back. But I’m trying not to bother her as she’s going through a divorce.

I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. He says everything is in my head.

I’m actually even crying writing this but I do have a small to go bag in the trunk of my car. Just incase. I feel like I’m not being rational because he doesn’t hurt me or the kids but I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Like what happened to my happy go lucky husband? Who’s this person I’m afraid of?

Are they his biologically? Did you guys go to a support group for infertility treatment?

We didn’t use any sperm or egg donations. The kids are his and mine biologically.

We also went to a support group, two support groups actually. One of them was for couples and the other for men experiencing infertility. He also went to individual therapy to deal with his emotional issues around infertility.

Update : March 19, 2024 (3 days later)

Title: He’s (42m) been pinching my (35f) babies?

Thank you to the person who said I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely and frequently. Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice I caught him pinching my son!

While I was scrolling on here and replying to people I decided to check my baby monitor and I watched my husband enter our children’s room and insult them in a hushed and whispery tone. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them and wished them dead. Then he pinched my son and my baby boy didn’t even cry which made me think he’s done this many times before.

It all happened so fast and by the time I could make sense of what was happening on the monitor he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs. At the same time I had lept off the sofa and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs. We got into a physical and verbal altercation, we fought, argued and shouted for hours. I guess the police were called by the neighbors because the next thing I know the police are banging on my door. I explained the situation to the police and the officers said that they could not prove that my baby was harmed since he didn’t have a bruise and my baby monitor was only on live feed and not simultaneously recording. Eventually they got my husband to agree to pack a bag and leave. He left reluctantly.

He has since been blowing up my phone begging for forgiveness, talking about how he’s been depressed and stressed by the babies, and that his anxiety and jealousy got the best of him. I just responded once telling him to go fuck himself. I’ve also been in contact with a lawyer and she’s advised me to leave him unblocked incase he further incriminates himself. I don’t even recognize who this man is! Where did this all come from?

How did this happen? Has any other parent experienced this? How did you handle this?

Before y’all start jumping down my throat I am absolutely getting a divorce and I will do everything in my power to get full custody. I did take my children to our family doctor and they are in good health and there are no other signs of abuse. I’ve filled a report with the police and my lawyer is dealing with it. I’m also about to start the process of divorce.

Relevant Comments:

Commenter: He just wants more and better access to his victims. This is someone who gets off on hurting children. Actual human beings who are stressed and depressed do not sneak around abusing children for their dopamine hits.

OOP: Exactly! I’m tired, stressed, depressed and I’m physically still not fully healed from the pregnancy and the cesarean birth but not once have I thought of hurting anyone let alone a baby! I don’t buy his bullshit excuses. He clearly knew what he was doing was wrong otherwise he wouldn’t have been sneaking around and being all hush hush. I do not believe him for one second. He’s a goddamn beastly man.

Update the monitor to one that records:

I’ve set the monitor up to record now! I’ve also ordered a home security system and will be installing it real soon!

On what OOP is doing to protect them:

I’m doing everything I can to protect them! This all happened a few days ago but I am in the process of getting a temporary restraining order. My lawyer is handling it and I understand it takes some time to actually get one and in the meantime I’ve been advised that I can just deny him visitation until he gets a judgement from the courts that forces me to grant him access to my babies but that takes time. So in the meantime he can’t force me or my babies to see him.

I’ve recorded every call and saved ever text. Literally documenting everything. Thankfully he’s saying and texting a goldmine of incriminating things that I hope would be sufficient information for a judge to give me and my babies a restraining/protective order and for family court to grant me primary and sole custody.

Did you tell him you saw the pinch?

Yes. He at first told me I was imagining things. Then switched to saying he was just frustrated our son wouldn’t go to sleep. Then he started saying that he was angry that our son was interrupting our “personal time” and that he was doing it on purpose because the other babies were asleep so why wasn’t he?

Honestly nothing he says makes sense to me. Like my baby boy was just laying there sleepy and he would’ve fallen back to sleep by himself that bastard actually woke him up with his pinching and insults.

He says he went in their room to check up on them and I call bullshit on that he went in there to torment my children. Who in their right mind whispers death to two sleeping babies and a another half asleep baby?!

Did he tell you that over phone or text?

This was on a call which I’ve recorded!

*****Update 2: April 10, 2024 (3 weeks after OG post)*****

Title: How did it go so wrong? For my (36f) birthday he (42m) broke into the house?

Every conversation with him (42m) feels like I’m (36f) losing my mind. The only thing that has kept me semi-sane and able to track what he has been doing is my audio journal and my posts on here.

Last week it was my thirty sixth birthday. Actually I had forgotten it was my birthday and was reminded by my sister that it was in fact my birthday. I decided I couldn’t mope around the house and I got my kids dressed to go shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half of the groceries but my babies were fussy and so to tire them out and ready them for bed we went for a walk. When I got back home he was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I had left out. He greeted me and acted normal. I didn’t react because his entire demeanour was freaking me out so I played along. I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the front door but he was kind of anticipating it and so he was following me around and I thought in the moment that the best thing I could do was to get my kids upstairs and away from him. He said he wanted to talk and clear the air because this has “gone on too long”.

We had a long conversation and it started out reasonable but eventually spiralled out of control. We got into physical confrontation because I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and he, well hurt me. While he was hurting me I was still able to contact the police. It took them a excruciatingly long 20/25 minutes to get there.

So here I am sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip, swollen face,massive knots on my head and bruises all over. I don’t know what happened to my life or how I got here but here I am. I can’t even look my neighbors in the eyes. I can’t go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people.

I have never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt and so utterly stupid. I thought I made all the right choices in life. What did I do wrong? When did it all get so fucked? I mean I think I did everything right? Like I created a stable life for myself then picked a man that at time was a very loving partner, I married that man and waited five years before even going through the process of having children with him and now once I’ve had his children he’s just beating on me and our babies?

Edit: My sister is now aware of what’s been happening and she is supporting me as best as she can. I have plans to move out but since I’m not working right now I need some time to save up.

His family is also aware. His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child but they can’t deny this attack now that they’ve seen my bruises. Also yes he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother. He’s currently staying with his brother.

Relevant Comments:

I’m in contact with a dv organization that my lawyer has put me in contact with. I did have a locksmith come out and I have new locks. I also have a couple of safety locks for my windows, and security cameras around the house and I changed our security code but honestly he doesn’t give a shit.

He despite it all broke in and beat the living shit out of me.

Making the audio journal:

I really didn’t make my audio journal to use as evidence. I literally made it because he makes me feel like I’m insane! I never know which version of him I’ll get at any given time. I also keep my journal to keep track of what he says. Every conversation with him makes me lose grip of my fleeting sanity.

Leaving the house:

The biggest reason I haven’t left my home is because he would without a doubt say I abducted the children! I’m already withholding my children from him since I caught him hurting my six month old son.

On advice of my lawyer I have stayed put. It’s my best option for now and it shows that I’ve been reasonably measured in my actions.

Restraining order?

I am in the process of getting one.

Update 3: April 25, 2024 (15 days later, almost 6 weeks from OG post)

Title: It was all for the love of another woman? Who barely knew of his existence? He (42m) hurt my (36f) children to further his own selfish desires

I say all of this without exaggeration. I am certain he was getting ready to kill us. After nearly 8 months of turmoil I’m finally close to understanding.

My soon to be ex husband is in love with a woman he came across on social media and he has been obsessing over her for at least a year. She also happens to be a sex worker and he was paying her for her time and attention. In his mind he believed they could have a future together if only he could get rid of my children and me. Even though this woman gave him no inkling that she even wanted to be with him. He has spent so much of our money on this woman. I am at a loss for words that could accurately describe the situation. I can barely believe half of the things he’s been up to.

I’ve spent the past few weeks playing detective and I finally decided to contact “Jessica”. This is obviously not her name but I need to call her something. I contacted Jessica and at first she was very reluctant to speak to me but I literally begged her to and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me.

She told me that she had been seeing him for awhile but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her. He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails. He had been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him. Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked and I guess this is when he started to escalate from emotional abuse to physically abusing my children and myself. He was looking for a way out and in his crazy mind, killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn’t be with him was because me and my children were in the way.

During our long call I also explained to Jessica what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful. She also agreed to speak to my lawyer and to send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails and voice notes he sent her. For a little while after our conversation a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for everything but the rational part of me pushed out those unreasonable and dangerous thoughts especially after I read his disturbing texts and heard his voicemail/notes to Jessica. She has also been victimized by him.

Honestly there is nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead. He could’ve just asked for a divorce or just got up and left. I sent him a few texts asking him why? (this was a one time thing and since then I’ve stopped all contact) Why do all of this? Why torment my babies? Why not just walk away? He responded with a message saying any conversation between us should be through our lawyers. His parents have him lawyered up. They know what he’s been up to and they’ve chosen to protect him. His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested he could pay me if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning on doing. Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me I’ve told anyone who’d listen what he has done. At this point even his colleagues know.

Relevant Comments:

I have emergency custody of my kids and a protective order. I’m in the process of getting two trained guard dogs haven’t gotten very far though and I have a security system.

I’m also seriously considering a gun. More than seriously actually I’ve applied for a permit. Of course I do plan on taking lessons in gun safety and training.

Be careful with the dogs, he may just kill them:

He probably would but the few seconds to minutes he needs in order to do that is perhaps the chance I need to save my children and myself.

This may seem horrible to you but I rather have them as a buffer then my children getting harmed. I of course don’t want this to happen but I’m in a situation now where I need to do everything I can to protect my children.

His parents:

Oh they really are bastards and refuse to believe their precious son could ever do the things he’s done despite the fact that I installed security cameras after I caught him abusing my babies and despite the fact that my neighbors have signed witness statements attesting to the fact that they saw him break into my house and attack me. They’ve seen the police report. They’ve seen the pictures of my battered face and bruised body. They are feigning ignorance but they know, and I know they know.

You don't want to give him ammunition in the divorce- maybe stop telling people?

Actually me telling people has been the best thing I’ve done so far. It’s what has kept me safe. My neighbors now look out for his car and call the police if they see he’s anywhere near the house.

What was he like before all of this? Were there any signs?

We’ve been married for nearly 8 years. Will actually be 8 years in 2 months. We never had any issues. Sure we had minor squabbles but that was few and far in between. Never did I have any issues that would lead me to think that he’d try to hurt us let alone kill us.

It was during my pregnancy and birth that he became verbally and emotionally abusive, this is also the time period he met Jessica and started fantasizing about running away with her. He was angry and jealous that my attention was more on the pregnancy and the babies and this built resentment towards me and my children. It also pushed him more into his obsession with Jessica and when he was also rejected by her, he spiraled into this insane mindset. At the same time he escalated into verbally and physically abusing our infant children and when I found out he hurt my children, I attacked him. I caught him hurting my son and we physically fought and my neighbors called the police and he was escorted out of the house. Then he came back and broke into the house, he attacked me and beat me into a bloody mess. He was arrested for this. I’ve since attained a lawyer and I’ve been granted emergency custody and a protective order.

Again- why isn't he in jail?

He’s out on bail.

Update 3: May 11, 2024 (2+ weeks later)

Editor's note: This post was deleted by reddit. I have transcribed it from this youtube and this tiktok

Title: My (36f) husband (42m) has been arrested for stalking and attempting to abduct his former “mistress”.

Last week Thursday at approximately 2:00 AM in the morning, my (36F) husband (42m) of nearly 8 years was arrested outside of Jessica's house, (the sex worker he met online and used to pay to spend time with him until he started to creep her out by his stalking and obsession.)

When he was arrested, they found in his truck small baggies with drug residue and they also found tools of abduction. I honestly do not know what these are exactly.

My soon to be ex FIL called me at around 4:45/4:50 AM to tell me that his son was arrested. My FIL was the one who used the term tools of abduction. When I asked him what the hell that means, he said he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics. He then asked if I could help them find a lawyer for him and to stand by his son throughout all of this. When I said to him "how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning," he lost his shit and then was just screaming.

My soon to be ex MIL took over the phone, telling me that I'm a goddamn b****, and that all this is my fault. I hung up before she could say anymore.

I never knew this man to take drugs. Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs? I honestly don't know what's happening anymore or how I got here. I mean it does make sense he was on cocaine the past 7/8 months now that I look back at things.

I mean, I don't even know anything about drugs to be able to recognize the behavior pattern, but once I researched it, it seemed clear. The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger, the sudden outburst and the violence- it all points to drug usage, as well as him being an abusive piece of shit.

His parents and the rest of his family had called and texted me so much abusive shit and they occasionally switched to begging me to go see him or pick up his calls, but I've mainly ignored them. I don't have the time, the energy or the love that is needed to be there for this man and his parents. I've given him eight years of my love and affection, and he spat it back into my face during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life

Also, why would they think I'd help him after everything he's done? Especially since I think he deserves to be in jail for not only hurting my children, but also for hurting myself and Jessica.

I hope and pray he's jailed for the rest of his natural life. I mean I've tried being a good wife, but he has attacked my children. He has attacked me. He has lied and tormented us, and I'm supposed to help him?

I don't even know how I got here. How did we get here?

I've packed everything up and I'm leaving. I'm disappearing with my kids, and anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer. The only person who knows where I'm moving to is my lawyer and my sister. I mean what else can I do to protect my children? His entire family blames me. And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person by pretty much everyone I once called a family? These people are trying to destroy me inside and out, and I don't know how to survive them. How am I supposed to rebuild my life when they won't stop tormenting me?

In less than a year of their birth, I've managed to fail my children...

TLDR: My soon to be ex-husband was arrested while stalking his former mistress/sex worker and during his arrest they found drug residue and tools for abduction

Relevant Comments:

Change your surname/the kids' surnames:

My kids and I have double-barreled surnames (my surname and their dads) but when I can we will drop his and we’ll all go by just mine.

People blaming OOP:

The sad fucking thing it’s not only his parents. It seems like everyone is blaming me.

OOP's response to a crappy (now deleted) comment:

“ You need to discover the reasons why you failed to notice or do anything about everything that was going on with him. You have to build skills so you can take full ownership over your own life.”

This genuinely has me fucking raging right now! I feel like everyone keeps blaming me!

And I don’t know why everyone keeps blaming me for his shit! We didn’t have any problems in the previous 7 years of our marriage. He started doing drugs during my pregnancy and this is when he started to behave abnormally. I tried to get him help because I thought it was depression or the stress of being a new parent.

When I noticed his irritablity, combativeness and generally shitty behavior was more than just depression or jealousy of me spending more time with my new born children, I kicked him out, I got a lawyer and involved the police because there no way in hell I’d stay with someone who hurt my children or let him get away with it and I also made sure to get emergency custody of my children. This is also around the same time when he spiralled into using more drugs. I don’t know what else I could’ve done but I know I took all the right steps when I noticed his escalation!

I’m so sick of everyone acting like I was making him do drugs and like I’m suppose to know that he’d ruin my life after having had a good marriage before he started taking drugs and going out of his mind.

What has your lawyer said about disappearing?

I currently have emergency custody. My lawyer is the one who suggested to disappear (meaning moving to new house and not letting anyone know) because she says this is a time of great danger and I heartily agree. Since my ex-husband first went to look for me at the house but me and my children went to stay somewhere else for a few days because I was scared he’d come back after he broke into the house previously and attacked me.

My (22F) gf's mom came over with two of my gf's nieces (6 and 3F). We were welcoming and nice and let the two girls nap in my room when they got tired.

They had found my childhood stuffie, which is a husky I had named Emma and took her everywhere for 15 years. Emma is also wearing my favorite shirt from when I was two, because I wanted to keep it close. They took a huge liking to her and asked if they could take Emma back home with them, because I clearly didn't need it.

I told them no, and explained how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I told them that I had a great aunt who I loved, but she'd passed away long ago and she had gotten me Emma when I was a baby, so I didn't want to let go. I (slightly embarrassedly) told them I actually still slept while cuddling her. I told them the story of the shirt, but they wouldn't budge.

They began screaming because I wasn't letting them have the husky. My gf's mom heard what was going on and immediately sided with the girls, because 'I am too old for a stuffed toy' and 'shouldn't really care'. She called me an a-hole and told me that I'm pathetic for 'loving to make innocent children cry' and that 'I just love the feeling of power I have over them', before leaving, with the promise of coming back to get the husky when I couldn't do anything about it.

My gf and her dad are siding with me, but my gf's siblings, mom and aunts are all with the two girls. So, AITA?

Update: I have reached out through my gf and offered to buy the girls similar ones from Amazon or IKEA, but I've been told it's got to be Emma because the girls want the shirt too

Update 2: this got deleted earlier but Emma has been taken to safety, a ring camera and mini security cameras have been ordered, and my gf's family except her dad have secured a nice telling off/talking to (read: yelling at for upsetting me)

Update 3: I didn't think I'd be back so soon but here I am. The 6 year old's elder sister (13F) has just shown up at our doorstep saying she was kicked out by her grandma because she heard what happened and agreed with me supporting 'people who love making children miserable'.