Q&As

Have care took her for 3 years during her hellish war with cancer. the plan was to ride it out at home with painkillers but unfortunately our plans came to an end today. 4 days ago she got extremely sick, extreme bouts of nausea and vomiting. she was so bad I had to crush her pills and mix them with tang powder so I could pop them into her cheeks to absorb.

Unfortunately today she started foaming out of her mouth and nostrils so we had to call an ambulance. they've got her loaded with the max painkillers she can take and she'll have a smooth ride out, it wont be home like she wanted with her little pug and that devastates me. honestly shes been gone mentally for 2 or so days. the last thing she said to me was are you doing okay... like can you even believe it?

I am writing this to try to sort out my feelings, I feel really alone at the moment. I really miss you mom. even now her body still holds on, she went through so much. this is such a train wreck. I truly hope you all never experience such a thing.

EDIT - I had no idea so many people would well wish and it is really helping me right now so thank you all very much. and one thing for perspective for some, in my eyes i'm just waiting for my moms prison to crumble so she can escape to peace. shes already gone. her brain is likely nearly dead from o2 deprivation. shes been gone for 2 days really. when I said trainwreck I left out a lot of details. the past 4 days has been a literal train wreck. 3 years of hell in that body.

I am kind of sleep deprived last I slept was 4am 2 days ago so i've been up a while and have splitting head ache -_-

When my girlfriend and I decided to get engaged, we wanted it to be a special moment between us. So, I made it clear to my family, especially my sister, that I didn't want any grand gestures or interruptions during the proposal.

However, during our romantic dinner, just as I was about to pop the question, my sister burst in with a group of friends, cheering and causing a scene. I was furious and felt like my special moment had been ruined.

My sister brushed off my anger, saying she wanted to celebrate with us. But I couldn't shake off the disappointment.

Fast forward to my sister's engagement party, and I couldn't resist the chance to make a statement of my own. During the toast to the happy couple, I announced that my girlfriend and I were expecting our first child.

My sister was livid, accusing me of stealing her thunder on her special day. But I couldn't help but feel vindicated, especially when our family rallied behind us, excitedly discussing our baby news.

While my sister insists I was the asshole for overshadowing her engagement, I can't help but think back to how she disregarded my wishes during my proposal.

I (35M) have a younger sister (29F) who is getting married in a few months. Our parents passed away years ago so it's just been the two of us. I'm fortunate to have a very high paying job and have done well for myself financially.

My sister and her fiancé are planning a large, extravagant destination wedding and the costs are adding up to over $100k. They asked if I would be willing to pay for everything since 'I can easily afford it'. I told them no, that's an unreasonable request, and I'm not comfortable spending that much. I offered to give them $20k as a wedding gift instead.

Well, my sister flipped out, called me selfish, and said I'm ruining her dream wedding. She said since our parents are gone, it's my duty as her only family to give her the perfect wedding. She's now refusing to talk to me until I agree to pay.

I feel like I'm being fair by offering a generous $20k gift, which is more than enough to cover a nice wedding. AITA for refusing to fund her $100k dream wedding just because I'm wealthy? I love my sister but I feel like she's being a bridezilla and her request is totally unreasonable. Looking for some outside perspectives.

My sister is going on vacation for a week soon, and isn’t taking her 2 year old daughter (Elise) with her. My sister still lives at home with me and our parents, and normally they would be the ones to look after Elise when my sister is out but they’re working the week that she’ll be away during so they aren’t an option for during the day.

My mother came up to me recently and asked how I would feel about looking after Elise for the week during the day until they arrive home from work, and I told her I wouldn’t want to because I have no idea how to look after a toddler and I don’t want to be with her for that length of time. She said that was okay, and didn’t mention anything about it after.

She must’ve told my sister because she pretty much stormed into my room and asked me why I don’t want to look after Elise. I told her the same thing I told my mother, and she started trying to make me feel bad or something by asking me why I wouldn’t want to spend time with my niece if I love her and stuff like that. I told her I don’t care what she says because I wasn’t doing it and she said I was being selfish by not doing this after everything she’s done for me, and that she’s stuck for a babysitter now because of me. I just told her she should’ve thought about that before she decided to book a vacation, and she left.

(Throwaway account, because I mostly use reddit for work-related topics).

Me (37M) and my wife (35F) have been married for 14 years. We met when we were both in college, she studied literature, I studied engineering and was getting into tech. We were dating for two years when she got pregnant and we decided to get married and start a family. We decided together that I would work and she would be a SAHM because it would be difficult for her to find a well-paying job with her major, and I was already starting to earn quite well. I've also always had a fairly conservative approach to family life and I was happy to be a sole provider. She always wanted to be a mom and was looking forward to being a SAHM.

Right now our children are 14 and 12 years old, I have a good job and my wife stays home taking care of the house. This arrangement has always suited her, but recently she has begun to mention that she feels a bit lonely and lacks friends, especially now that the children are older and she has more time to herself. Indeed, our social life mostly consisted of meetings with my work colleagues and their wives whom my wife can hardly call "friends." That's why I was happy at first when my wife ran into her best friend from college, let’s call her Anna. According to my wife they got along so well as if they didn’t have an almost 14-year old break in contact (when my wife got pregnant she drifted apart from her college friends). They started meeting for coffee quite often. When my wife returned from these meetings she was overjoyed and excited and told me a lot about Anna. It was then that I began to worry.

During the time my wife had no contact with her, Anna got her PhD in literature, started teaching at the university, and became the editor of one of the most important cultural magazines in our country. Her husband is an award-winning writer, apparently very well recognized (it's hard for me to say anything about this, as I have no idea about literature). They earn well, do not have and do not want children, and basically lead a carefree lifestyle completely different from ours: they have lots of friends from their literary-academic circle, consider these friends "family" and go several times a week to various author meetings, galas, gallery openings, and god knows what else. From what I've gathered, they are also much more progressive and liberal than I am, for example, they divide all their chores and bills 50/50 and they have a mixed-gender group of friends - Anna is friends with men and her husband with women, which I always considered inappropriate in a serious relationship.

My wife invited Anna and her husband for dinner because she really wanted me to meet them - she hoped we would both start going to all these cultural events with them. They were very polite and respectful, and didn't comment in any way on the differences in our lifestyles, but dinner was nevertheless quite tiresome for me, as I didn't have any common topics with them. My wife knows that I don't share her passion for literature (just as she doesn't share my interest in technology), but this has never been an issue in our marriage - we traveled together, went on bike trips, went to our favorite restaurants and movies, etc. I didn't understand why she suddenly wants this to change.

Anna started taking my wife to some of the literary events organized by her magazine and also invited her to write a couple of reviews for a column she is running (she apparently sees great potential in my wife and appreciates her insight) - which my wife accepted with great joy. I was torn: on the one hand, I was happy that my wife didn't feel alone and that she had something to do when the kids are at school or with their friends. On the other hand, I was afraid that I was losing my wife - that she would turn into someone else under Anna's influence. I was also afraid that other men will hit on her at the events Anna invites her to (even though my wife repeats that all of Anna's friends know that she is married and a mother, they never cross any boundaries and always speak of her family with respect).

I finally told my wife that I was uncomfortable with her friendship with Anna, that I was afraid this relationship would change her for the worse and that she would no longer care about our marriage and children. I said that I can’t forbid her to do antyhing, but that I would feel much better if she didn't go to all these events with Anna and if she didn't accept an offer to write reviews for her magazine. My wife said that the friendship with Anna is very important to her, that she had been feeling depressed lately spending most of the day at home all alone, and that contact with people with whom she can talk about things she’s passionate about has made her feel significantly better. I promised to her that I will work less and that I will spend more time with her. I also repeated that I cannot forbid her to see Anna and her friends but that this friendship really makes me uncomfortable. She was sad but understood me and said that she will stop spending time with Anna.

Yesterday, I talked to my older brother (whose advice I always appreciate) about this situation. He said that me and my wife married really young and that it’s understandable that she might feel like she’s missing out on things outside family life. He also said that the only way to make sure that my wife is with me because she really loves me and not because she’s just stuck with me and has no other options, is to give her freedom to spend time with other people, even though it makes me uncomfortable. It really made me think and question my own behavior. I really don’t want to be a person who limits my wife’s freedom, but I also don’t want to be tempting fate in order to see if she really loves me. It would break my heart to lose her and maybe deep inside I feel like she would leave me if she had any other options, so I don’t want her to have these options. I feel like shit. AITAH?

I am not the only one, right?

Alright I know, slightly clickbaity title.

I (26F) was having a conversation with some co-workers when the subject of mothers day came up, I get asked "when are you having kids?" I smile politely and reply, "never. I don't want kids"

This is where things start to escalate; I work with all women and they all seemed shocked, even horrified by my statement. The fact is I do not want to have children, ever. Period. End of. The conversation flows as follows (as close to word-for-word as I can remember) from various women, about 5 individuals all older than 40.

"But what if your husband wants kids?"
"Then I'd get a new husband"

"You're almost 30 you should think about these things"
"But I never want children, even at 30"

"What if you get pregnant accidentally?"
"Well then I'd get an abortion"

"Well, a lot of states aren't allowing that anymore, what will you do then?"
"I guess... give it to someone who wants it"

"You'd change your mind once you held it"
"No, I would not want to hold it. I would ask them to take it to an adoption center"

"I don't think they'd let you give it away for adoption, you're fit to be a mother - you wouldn't just abandon your baby!"
"Yes. I would. If I had no choice I'd dump it on church steps if I had to"

The rest of the day (which thankfully was only a few hours) was so awkward, with them muttering and talking about how they couldn't understand how someone like me (idk what they mean by that, maybe cause I'm a white, working class, healthy woman?) couldn't POSSIBLY want to have children. When talking with my mom later she said I should have just tried to change the subject and was the asshole for taking it that far but I was just being honest about what I'd do - I do not want children, even if that means having to go through the trauma of pregnancy I'd still give it away at any cost.

I would like to clarify, I do not hate kids nor do I want to harm them - I just do not want to have one of my own and instead of accepting that they kept trying to create scenarios to make me admit I'd keep it.

So, am I the asshole?

I, 25M, am married to my wife, Sasha, 28F. She comes from a pretty wealthy background while I decidedly do not. My dad left before I was born and my mum died when I was 11. I've mostly 'gotten over it', as much as one can, 'get over' something like that. However I'm still sensitive on any so called 'jokes' on that.

I graduated summa cum laude, and went straight into investment banking. I met my wife when I was 23, and fresh into it, but after 3 years I earn pretty well. My wife is a lawyer. Now I love my wife and she loves me (obviously) but her family hatess me. Like from the depths of their souls, hates me. I've been called a gold-digger, a low-life and a few more vague insults on my table-manners.

I went to a 'party' with her the other day, one of those fancy shmancy things where everyone drinks cHaMpAgNe and complains about this that and the other, talking about oh we spent sOoOOo much money on renovations, *gasp*. And I got the usual mild comments from wife's family and close friends on where my wife 'picked' me up from.

Lacy, I don't think, knew about my family history before. We were talking about dads, don't ask me why and I got a question on what my dad did, I said I didn't know, never met the guy. Lacy made this kind of exaggerated gasp and went 'oohh, well we all know why you're with her [my wife] then don't we?'

I acted all confused and she got flustered, and just kept going with 'well... you know'. My wife tried to move the conversation along but by this point I wasn't letting it go, I kept pushing, and pushing until Lacy finally said, 'well you two don't exactly have the same... finances do you' and then responded with, you're right. I make quite some more.

Lacy by this point was too embarrassed to keep going, I'd kind of ruined the vibe, but the night continued, this isn't the kind of event you walk away from. We went home, which was when shit genuinely went down. She told me it was crazy of me to keep pushing on that point and turn one comment into one of them most embarrassing moments of her life and now everyone in her circle must think she's some kind of failure to earn so much less than her husband, and I'd ruined everything.

But its not like I lied. I'm just tired of being treated like shit in her circle. My wife is upset though, and I do care about her, so I need to know, AITA?

I (19m) have two older siblings who were both born with severe disabilities. Their disabilities are related to an inheritable gene that both my parents were carriers of, hence both of them having these disabilities. They had me so their disabled children would have someone to take care of them when they were gone. It was a gamble. I could have been disabled like my siblings and had an even higher chance at also being a carrier for the gene. My parents didn't look into that. They initially planned to adopt but they were rejected because of my siblings being disabled and it was decided they could not adequately care for another child on top of them. So they gave in and had me.

Once they knew I wasn't disabled at birth they no longer cared about my future because it was set in stone in their minds. I was raised to take over the care of both my siblings. I was taught what to do, how to do it and my parents interfered in my success.

They'd pull me out of school few enough times to cause trouble but timed just right to throw me off and leave me behind at school. Their aim was for me to do badly enough to either drop out or not graduate high school so then I wouldn't leave for college. But I worked my ass off to do the best I could. My grades weren't great graduating but they were the best they could be given the circumstances.

I actually only learned about my risk of being a carrier in my final two months of high school. My parents didn't care because they never planned for me to marry or have kids, because again, I was supposed to be a carer the rest of my life.

I moved out of my parents house after high school and I'm in college now. My parents hate it. I'm mostly estranged and have not told them yet but I got checked for the gene, because I always wanted kids but I knew I didn't want to risk having children with the same disabilities as my siblings. I'm not a carrier (which is rare apparently but such a relief!!). But it made me more angry at my parents for not caring.

They leave voicemails pretty frequently shaming me for going to college and moving away and not supporting them or my siblings. They talked about how out of practice I will be. So I decided to call them and over the phone I told them I was not coming back and that they need to find an alternative solution for long term care for my siblings because I won't be the solution. I won't sacrifice the rest of my life to care for them. My parents told me that was disgusting to say and I should love my siblings more than enough to care for them, especially when they are the highest risk adults.

AITA?

that happened between my wife's best friend who is currently staying at our house. I was not sure how to bring it up to my wife and you guys really helped me a lot in understanding the urgency of telling my wife. I also got some cool ideas on how to bring up the subject without making it awkward for anyone. For everyone saying Ana was doing it on purpose, I did not agree with it as I am an extremely average looking person and woman don't chase me. However, things since last night have been just crazy and I think I am spiraling a bit. Sorry for the long post.

So, I decided to tell my wife last night as soon as she came home about the incident. I liked the idea of jokingly bringing up casually so that we both can laugh about it and then forget it. Last night, when my wife came home, I made sure I stayed in our bedroom. I asked Ana if she could stay with my kid downstairs. As my wife was changing, I asked her if Ana still borrow her clothes. Ana had to borrow them regularly when she first moved (long story). My wife told me yes and she has told Ana she can take anything from her closet if she needs it. I asked my wife if Ana told her about the funny incident from Friday. My wife said no, and I told her the whole story about how I came home early, and Ana came in the room almost naked to get her clothes, and how embarrassing it was for both of us.

As my wife was listening to this, she completely froze and turned pale. She started murmuring in Spanish (which is her and Ana's native language). I don't understand Spanish really well, but I understood the words "hombre casado" and "orta vez". I asked her if she is ok, and she sat next to me and asked me to explain everything in detail. I just told her it was nothing and she must have not heard me coming in. I was trying to laugh it off, but my wife had water in her eyes. I kept on telling her it was not a big deal, but she kept on asking me for more details. She asked me how Ana talks to me. I told her that Ana barely talks to me since she moved in except few words here and there.

My wife then asked me about three weeks ago when my wife had gone to visit her parents for four days. Ana did not want to go with her and stayed back. I told her that Ana was just acting normal. She or I would cook dinner after I got home from work while the other took care of the kid. The only thing different was Ana generally spending her evening in her room. However, when I was sitting in the living room watching TV after the kids slept, Ana came and sat on the sofa next to me but did not talk to me. I asked her if she wants me to change the channel or stream something she likes, and she just said she wanted to get out of her room. However, she did not flirt with me or do anything unusual. I kept on telling my wife that it was just an accident, and I really did not understand why she reacted so emotionally to it. My wife refused to answer and just said ok and agreed with me. However, she told me I should have told her about the incident sooner and should not keep any secrets from her and gave me a big lecture. I told her that I did not think it was a big deal and thought Ana would tell her, but glad I brought it up.

After dinner, my wife messaged Ana to join us, and she came out. While talking, my wife brought up the incident and told Ana that I mentioned about the incident, and she does not need to feel embarrassed. Such things happen when we are all in the same house and is not a big deal. Ana was firstly taken by surprise, but then told my wife she was just scared to tell her because she thought my wife would judge her because of her past. My wife gave her a stare, and she quickly changed the topic.

At night, I asked my wife what the hell was going on. I told her to please not keep any secrets from me, and if she does not tell me, I will directly ask Ana about what her past has got to do with anything. My first guess was Ana might have had a thing for me before we got married or something. But my wife was very reluctant to answer and kept on trying to change the subject and cuddle. However, I kept being persistent, and she finally spilled the beans.

Apparently, when Ana was in her early 20s, she was in relationship with a married coworker who was twice her age. It was a kind of sugar daddy relationship, and he told her that he was in an open relationship (or that's what Ana told my wife) and he would leave his wife in few years once the kids go to college. This makes sense now, because Ana is very pretty (like Miss USA level), and I never understood why she was single for most of the time I knew her. She eventually ended that relationship and started dating her boyfriend Jim, who turned out to be an abusive asshole. My wife said she suspects Ana was still involved with the older guy while in relationship with Jim, which explains why he kept on accusing her of cheating. That is why my wife became emotional when I told her what Ana did because she was worried Ana has no boundaries regarding married men. My wife said that Ana always looks up to us and praises me for being such a loyal partner and how lucky my wife is. My wife was a worried initially when she brought Ana home, but her actions from the time when my wife was away clearly show that she respects the boundaries, and it must have been an accident. My wife told me she is grateful I let Ana live in our house and observe what a healthy and happy marriage looks like.

Today morning was even more weird. I got up early as I could not sleep well and went down for a cup of coffee. After 5 minutes Ana walked into the kitchen and told me she was relieved my wife did not overreact to Friday incident. She said I am a good husband and gave me a hug and peck on the cheeks. She has never hugged me in the last 6 months. She seemed to be in a happy mood and was making small talk with me while having coffee.

I cannot believe my wife did not tell me such a huge detail about Ana for all these years. It's completely possible she cheated all through the relationship with Jim, and my wife is just covering for her all along. She even kept it a secret from me (after giving me a lecture about how we should never have secrets), and I don't know what else she is hiding. Everything just seems very confusing at this point. I feel angry at my wife for lying to me all these years for Ana. I also now see Ana differently. I am also worried that me trivializing the incident to my wife might have sent wrong signals to Ana.

My fiance moved in with me 5 months ago. I upgraded us to a 2bdr apartment under the impression that she'd find a job and start paying a portion of rent. It's been 5 months and she hasn't secured a job because she's picky and won't work retail, grocery store, fast food, or basically anything involving customer service... She does doordash, but only if I'm with her for safety. Defeats the purpose since my job pays much more than what she could possibly get from Door Dash.

There's a concert coming up that she really wants to go to, but she doesn't have money for tickets. The tickets are $490, which I can afford, but I don't want to for a couple reasons;

1. She hasn't gotten a job and it feels like she isn't being serious about getting one.

2. I now pay almost 50% more rent for our new apartment.

3. We recently procured some medical bills (both of us had a visit to the hospital recently), now we have $1500 of medical debt.

She's all up in arms about this now. Blaming me that she'll miss the last performance of this artist. All I told her was "I can't really afford to pay for those tickets. We have debt I'm trying to get us out of, and I want to continue saving for a house with what's left of my income.." Her response was that she'd pay me back when she gets a job, but I just said I can't afford it sorry.

Am I the ass for not buying this concert ticket for her?

EDIT: Didn't expect this to blow up. So many comments! I'm seeing a general consensus to either breakup, kick her out, or give her a deadline. I will consider these, and I definitely see how this is a major red flag now.

Something I forgot to mention is she lived in another state before moving in with me. So she had to quit her job. She's never had an issue with holding a job, but getting one seems to be the problem here, especially with how picky she is.

Thanks for all the comments and advice. I will be having a serious discussion with her before considering marriage. This was truly eye opening

Me (30F) and my fiancé' (42M) live together in the house he bought before we began the relationship. We do not have children or pets, or unattended guests.

He has had cameras (audio and video) in place since BEFORE I moved in, at every entry point to the house, as well as inside the bedroom (facing the bed) and the living room (full view of living room and kitchen). He is the only 1 who has access to the footage, which he can pull up on his phone at the drop of a hat. Initially I was a bit uncomfortable with the cameras in the living room and bedroom, but never felt entitled to request that he remove them because he owns the house.

We are engaged now, and I have become increasingly uncomfortable and irritated/ resentful about the fact that I am under constant surveillance and feeling like I don't have true privacy. I have nothing to hide, I rarely go out, and have never given him a reason to believe I would be unfaithful. I just feel a bit violated knowing that any private conversation, or intimate moment I have at home can be accessed by him at any point. I find myself having to sit in my car to have personal conversations with friends and family often. I recently started turning the cameras away when I'm chilling on the couch, or in bed.

He must have checked the cameras yesterday and noticed, and we got into a huge fight about it. His argument is that he only checks the cameras when there is an alert (which I don't believe) and that it seems like I have something to hide because I didn't seem to have a problem with this when I first moved in (which I can understand). Please be completely honest...am I wrong? If not, What would you do in my position?

My husband and I have a home that has the garage underneath our living space and where summer is upon us, he has been having his buddies over for his typical summer shindigs. This is a normal and I have zero issue with it. Up until this year, I was also down in that garage hanging out with everyone. But this year, we have a baby (she was 5 days old when this happened). Now, my husband is a great man and a fantastic father and has really cut back on having people over. However, it's like his buddies are so excited to get back here that they turn ignorant once we finally do open our doors (this was the hangout spot because we have a huge fire pit, billiards, karaoke and a bar).

This past weekend my husband had people over to kick off summer and he has one friend, who we will call "Nate", who has never been very mindful of anything around him. He's like a giant kid, despite being well in to his late 30s. He shows up on his brand new motorcycle and parked it in our garage (we were supposed to get rain, so I couldn't tell you why he drove the bike but I'm assuming he just wanted to show it off). There was probably about 8 people here, I think. I was upstairs with our baby, told my husband to have a good time and went about my night. Well, my husband took off around 7-8pm-ish to go grab beer, leaving Nate and the rest of the guys in the garage (except for John, who went with husband). The store is only 5 minutes away. I had JUST gotten the baby to sleep when all the sudden my home is literally shaking. Fucking vibrating with the sound of a consistent, EXTREMELY loud, continuous revving of the motorcycle, right inside my garage and underneath our living area. I could not hear a damn thing over that motorcycle. To paint a picture here, when the guys are over and in the garage, you can literally hear them speaking. So the revving of this motorcycle completely overtook our home. My baby started screaming bloody murder. I'm trying to cover her ears but that's just not doing anything.

I grabbed the baby and went outside, where the sound was much quieter, went to the garage and lost my shit entirely. I told Nate that he was an inconsiderate fucking prick. He KNOWS how thin that floor is, he KNOWS our living area is directly above the garage and that we have a 5 day old baby and he decided to show how big his dick was by revving the piss out of his Harley in the garage for (not kidding) 5 minutes straight. I told him he had to leave. He apologized, said he forgot, he "wasn't thinking", etc etc. My husband shows back up, the baby is STILL screaming bloody murder in my arms. My husband takes the baby and asks what's going on and me still being pissed off, loudly told him how Nate decided to rev his bike up for 5 minutes and probably gave the baby a migraine because of how loud it was upstairs and that he needed to leave. My husband looked at Nate and said "why would you do that?" And Nate got pissed and said "I fucking already said that I just wasn't thinking". My husband kind of turned to me and said that we should just move on but I was honestly so fuming that I said we would move on once Nate was gone (this isn't the first time he's been incredibly inconsiderate). My husband just let out a sigh, shook his head and said "maybe everyone should leave, this was a bad idea" and walks upstairs with the baby. Nate's girlfriend turned to me and said "it was an honest fucking mistake and you just became so unhinged that you embarrassed your husband. I hope you feel good about yourself psycho." Everyone left without looking at me and my husband hasn't said anything to me about it, other than he "gets it". AITA?

ETA: I was probably still pissed because Nate came here when the baby was 2 days old and started scream talking as soon as he walked in and got the baby crying then too. When I told him to quiet down, he said "you need to be loud around babies so they will sleep through it" and kept being disrespectful until my husband took him outdoors. So he's just not respectful at all.

Edit: I told my husband he could have his buddies over. He made it clear to them that no one was allowed in the main house and I heard him repeat several times that the baby was upstairs and to be respectful. I have zero issues with my husband having people here. My husband is a damn good man and he respects me above all else. Was having people over with a 5 day old baby the best of ideas? Probably not. But he also hasn't hung out with anyone for months because the last 2-3 months of my pregnancy were extremely rough and I needed a lot of help so he was unavailable to everyone. He deserved a night and I feel terrible that I cut it short (without meaning to). Nate waited until after my husband left to go to the store to act like a teenager. He wouldn't have done that if my husband was here.

Part of me feels bad but part of me doesn't. So I don't know if I'm here for validation or to be told that I'm bat shit crazy. I gave birth 8 months ago and I definitely was slapped with PPD/PPA. I'm getting better now through medical intervention. I am not argumentative and accept all judgement so please don't hold back. I just need some insight. Thank you in advance.

My husband and I moved right beside his best friend Chris and Chris's girlfriend "Claire" back in October, and they also just had a baby (4 months ago). We share a yard. I'm getting incredibly touched out by my husband's relationship with Claire. He's only known her as long as I have and in my opinion, they are both disrespectful of me and Chris. I understand and have zero issue with my husband having female friends (he has plenty and they are all lovely and respectful). However, there's been a lot of things I'm simply not okay with. Like the fact that Claire won't come outdoors if I'm outside but if my husband is outside, she runs right over. She's constantly touching his arms and laughing while leaning in close. Calling him names, telling him he's stupid while giggling. If I come out during those moments, she acts buddy buddy with me but it's all an act, in my opinion. We have also had BBQs/fires with Chris and Claire and damn near always, Claire will ask my husband for favors but never asks her boyfriend. Like clipping the straps of her baby carrier or grabbing things for her or asking him to hold her and Chris's baby so she can go inside to pee, even if her boyfriend is right there (to a point where Chris is like "uhh I'm literally right here" and my husband will pass him the baby and be like "yeah that was weird"). It nearly always turns in to her just hanging out with my husband all night. Even when my husband isn't engaging with her, she will still be standing right beside him. And last weekend my husband and I were having a fire together and just reconnecting as a couple- I had walked inside briefly and when I came out, Claire was sitting in my chair beside my husband and trying to joke around with him and trying to play with my baby, who my husband was holding. She didn't even get out of my chair when she saw me come out either. She just parked her ass there and basically ignored me and kept trying to talk to my husband. So, my husband looks at me and says "babe, here take my seat" and got up and moved and Claire goes "oh, sorry" and gets up and walks off. I asked my husband what that was about and he's like "I have no idea. I literally told her you and I were trying to get alone time and she just sat down anyways." So it's NOT my husband. It's her. Not even 10 minutes later, her and Chris come out and Chris goes "Claire said you guys were partying without me" and it ultimately soured the mood. Since we have been here, it's like we can't have alone time because Claire and Chris are always right here (I don't mind Chris).

Anyways, after this night I told my husband that I'm at a point of being completely uncomfortable with him interacting with Claire at all. I made sure to tell him that it is NOT him that concerns me but it's her and her lack of respecting boundaries and obvious interest in him. He asked me what I expected him to do and I told him I expected him to avoid interacting with her when he could because dropping hints like he has been doesn't work and I don't want to cause a massive scene by straight up telling her to back off (only because of Chris, because I respect Chris and he's a good friend to my husband - so for Chris's sake I want to keep it civil). My husband has since avoided Claire at all costs, but Chris mentioned my husband acting weird and my husband straight up told him that it's because Claire is making me uncomfortable and that he agrees with me because Claire makes him uncomfortable as well. Now Chris and Claire both have been avoiding us and giving me death glares. AITA?

I'm married to a widower. We've been married for 4 years, together for 6 and known each other for 8. We met at a grief support group. I lost my sister to cancer around the same time he lost his late wife "Tasha". We bonded and supported each other and our relationship happened slowly over the two years of being friends.

One thing I have always known is his love for Tasha has never faded. He never wants it to fade. He misses her every single day, so do his children (my stepchildren). He struggled with the idea of finding someone else. Not least of all because his family started pushing 13 months after his loss. In time he wanted this himself and we fell in love. But I have always known there would be no us without his loss. I was never jealous or insecure of that. I love his love for Tasha. It tells me how amazing he is as as person. It's also good for his kids to see the love he still holds for their mom. My sister's widower remarried after 6 months and has erased my sister with their children. He stopped me having a relationship with them too and I hate it.

The kids being good with us was the most important thing to us when we became something more. The only condition they had to their support was their mom. They didn't want her to be forgotten. They didn't want my husband to stop talking about her or for her photos to disappear from the house. Some came down. But they're still in the house just not on the walls and there are still photos of her around.

It works. I tell my daughter (2) and will tell my son I'm pregnant with that she's their big siblings mom and daddy's late wife. They'll know who she is and what she means to our family.

But my husband's parents and sister don't like that Tasha is still very much loved and kept alive. They didn't like her. They didn't approve of their son/brother marrying at 20 and loving someone who came from a very "unfavorable family". They judged Tasha for it harshly. They think I'm far better. So they expected me to replace Tasha. They were especially horrified that my husband keeps a photo of Tasha in his wallet and on his desk at work. There are also photos of me in both. Recently they brought this up with me and told me I should forbid my husband from doing this. They said it is horribly disrespectful to me and it has prevented my husband's teenage children from truly embracing me as their mother. They told me to march right up to him in front of everyone and to tell him that he cannot keep photos of his dead wife anymore. It bothered me so much that they were so callous about it. I told them not to use me in their sick and twisted scheme to erase Tasha because I wanted no part of it.

They focused on the sick and twisted aspect. And they are saying I called them sick and twisted and accused me of overreacting to their support. My husband was furious with them when he heard and told them to be thankful his kids hadn't heard them.

AITA though?

Ok so back in September 2023 my husband told me (thats right…. TOLD me and didnt consult with me prior) that his niece, her boyfriend and newborn baby were going to stay with us for a couple of months until they could “get back on their feet”. I was extremely bothered because I felt he didnt even ask for my opinion and just pushed them on me. They stay in our pool house out back but its very small. Like almost the size of a shed. Well, those couple of months have now turned into 8 MONTHS. Our electricity has gone up, our water bill has gone up and I just cant anymore. What they pay us is a complete joke. Anytime the topic of them seeking another place to live comes up, their response is always “We’ve looked but rent is too high, plus….. there’s no rush”. EXCUSE ME?! Also I’ve learned they are planning a trip to Disneyworld, but wont look into getting a stable home??! Like wtf?! And to top things off, my husbands niece has decided to get off of birth control because they want a bigger family……. I’ve already told my husband that if she gets pregnant then i’m outta here. There will be absolutely no way I will have 2 kiddos running around my backyard when I CHOSE to not have anymore kids and want to enjoy my peace & quiet afternoons now that my kids are teenagers. My plan is to give them a couple of more months… If nothing happens then I will pack my things and move out. My husband will be obligated to choose them or me. Just has he pushed this whole thing on me. So…. Am I the A hole for wanting to kick them out asap???

My husband and I met in college and we ended up married a few years after. Six year into marriage, he says he regrets that he never got to really explore the bachelor life since we were together since mid college. He has had two partner before me. He is my only partner and I am perfectly content with that. Not too long after that he "jokingly" suggested an open marriage since it is what "everyone" is doing these days according to him and my heart sank. and said no. I wondered if I just wasn't hot enough or fun enough in bed or he was just getting bored of me - even though I always allow him enough space to himself. I mean I agreed to all his kinks in the past and I exercise religiously with weight lifting and yoga while eating very health diets so I am pretty darn fit. I always planned at least 2 date nights a month and always join in on his hobbies when he wants me to even though I have no interest like race car courses or the range. He was persistent with his request and made me feel back for not letting him enjoy his youth while he still had it. Eventually he broke me down and i begrudgingly agreed on a don't ask don't tell policy.

When it all started I didn't bother to partake. I just lived life as I did before except he would go out to more "boys night outs" and bars and I would see dating apps on his phone. I eventually decided to go on dating sites since I was home alone at night more often during Fridays and I thought I might as well give it a try after my lady friends encouraged me to.

Fast forward a few months and now when I tell my husband I can't keep him company during his hobbies, he starts to get annoyed and want to know about what I am doing and when I just mention oh just a date. He demanded more details despite the don't ask, dont tell policy. And as months go by he get really mad and decided lets close the marriage. I actually met some really charming, nice men who actually seem to appreciate my company and really want to do things I want to do so I tell no and then the guilt tripping starts again. Now he says he wants a baby and I should stop this because it won't be good for our future children to grow up with parents doing this sort of stuff. When we got married he stated he never wanted kid and I said did but I am fine not having them as I would not want to have kids with a man who didn't want them.

AITAH for not agreeing to close the marriage and cutting all ties to everyone I met?

Edit: I had plans a month + out in advanced. He makes plans the night or two before and he only makes plans for his hobbies. He made me agree that both must consent to closing if we decided to close, just as both must agree before hand for it to be valid.

Without excruciating detail, the gist is below. Married 6 years, cheating before marriage, lied by omission. Truth is out and she’s heartbroken that I can’t even say “I love you” anymore

Longer version Wife and I got into a heated argument, she made offsides comments in the heat of the moment. In the past I would relent and see things “her way”. This time I stood my ground, this interaction had me reevaluate all the arguments I had relented on previously.

One was about her and an ex on a work trip 6 months before we were married. She had come back from the trip over the top affectionate. A few weeks later while showing pics of her trip to friends there were pictures of the two of them that seemed odd. When I brought it up later that night she said it was no big deal, when I told her how it made me feel she yelled at me that I had “ruined a perfectly good night with friends”

I brought this trip up again after we’d calmed down from the most recent argument. She admitted they had “hooked up, but it wasn’t sexual”. I asked for a definition of hooking up and she refused until a few days later when she confessed it meant sex. She has been love bombing me since and has said “that me realize I never wanted to cheat on you” (yes folks, you read that right… after cheating… she felt remorse and was like… never again) and “I’ve dealt with that trauma already and we’ve built a life. We need to work to figure this out” she’s even suggested I talk to him so he can confirm how much she only wanted me during that time (literally no idea how that makes sense). She has accused me of internalizing the problem and not bringing it up . I told her I had trusted her fully so there was no reason to bring it up. I took issue with her suggesting it was on me to interrogate and bring forth the truth as disingenuous. She had ample opportunity to bring it up before now but has hidden the truth to get the life she wanted/wants. She’s now heart broken and is insisting I’m not doing enough to save our marriage, in her mind she’s doing everything she can. Counselor, books, suggesting outings together. For me, I can’t stand to look at her and the pushy-ness from her feels self serving. Like she’s trying to manipulate me to stay for herself, not that she actually loves me

There are other normal marriage issues, money/kids/house stuff, but I can’t get over this one.

Am I the asshole? I’d like to hear an assessment