The most horrible thing I ever have seen
Was the Jesus H. Christ Crucifixion Machine
All gears, wires and springs, with a silvery gloss
Made just to affix the one guy to a cross!
The spinners were whirring with whirrious whirs
As Jesus H. Christ was stripped of his fur
From his head to his paws, it skinned him right bare
And then the shackles shick-shackled him here, here, and there!
The spinners splaglinnered and up he was lifted
His arms were held out and his body was shifted
And when Mr. Christ had been pinned in his place
The machines niller-nailer rose up past his face
It shot nails in his hands! It shot nails in his feet!
It shot nails in the fleshy H. Christy’s meat!
The ‘cifixion Machine had done its work quick
And so goes the story of Christ on a stick