This Thing In A Box — The most horrible thing I ever have seen Was the...

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The most horrible thing I ever have seen

Was the Jesus H. Christ Crucifixion Machine

All gears, wires and springs, with a silvery gloss

Made just to affix the one guy to a cross!

The spinners were whirring with whirrious whirs

As Jesus H. Christ was stripped of his fur

From his head to his paws, it skinned him right bare

And then the shackles shick-shackled him here, here, and there!

The spinners splaglinnered and up he was lifted

His arms were held out and his body was shifted

And when Mr. Christ had been pinned in his place

The machines niller-nailer rose up past his face

It shot nails in his hands! It shot nails in his feet!

It shot nails in the fleshy H. Christy’s meat!

The ‘cifixion Machine had done its work quick

And so goes the story of Christ on a stick

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