You people keep making "By Talos this can't be happening jokes" as if you think you're gonna be anywhere near as funny as the original post
None of you can ever hope to be as funny as this
By Talos this can’t be happening
Thesis: My post
Antithesis: This reply
Every cat I have known would immediately climb up through the hole and start stealing everybody’s food.
Crime porthole
this was designed by cats
Just get one of these and put them over the whole, you can have cat and food protection.
You imprison miette. You put her under the glass like the cheese. Jail for mother for hundreds of years.
I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job. There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept. The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.
Even in the house it was LOUD. Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval. You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off. It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.
At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks. People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.
One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit. It did. Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that. People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.
That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days
Placing these one after another makes it look like he left got a lighthouse job and came back six months later to update the drive through employee
decriminalize:
criminalize:
oh my god
Ate rice à la Trautmannsdorf and a peach. A man drinking wine watched my attempts to cut the unripe little peach with my knife. I couldn’t. Stricken with shame under the old man’s eyes, I let the peach go completely and ten times leafed through Die Fliegenden Blätter. I waited to see if he wouldn’t at last turn away. Finally I collected all my strength and in defiance of him bit into the completely juiceless and expensive peach.
its been 105 years since kafka ate this terrible peach
its been 106 years since kafka ate this terrible peach
its been 107 years since kafka ate this terrible peach
my favorite thing about the cask of amontillado meme (which I LOVE) is that it displays, yet again, how difficult millennials on the internet are to predict. oh, giant company, you want your advertisement to go viral? well this week the kids are obsessed with a short story written in 1846 good fucking luck
oh my dear marketing man,you want me to explain how to track this? well, I could show you a chart that indicates the next five big memes. it is down in my basement, though it is quite cold, and surely you have another engagement to attend.
[Id: Kirby holding a large sword in front of the asexual pride flag, with text under him reading “respect asexuals or die” ]
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.
reblog if its friday and you made it
Laurence Philomène is challenging the lack of non-binary representation by photographing her friends as their ideal selves, set against her vivid fantasy backdrops.
a hades + divine comedy crossover? on my dash? it’s more likely than you think
if i could turn into an eel. well that'd be ideal.
haha ideel. idEEL.,
im mentally ill
...............mentally eel........
Thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that I may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you.
you really shouldn't complain when someone is kind enough to anoint you with holy oils, you know. it's rude. stop questioning why I'm doing it with a rosemary branch
what garlic? I don't smell any garlic. can you move closer to the fire please, it's part of the ceremony
listen it's not my fault you missed out on last week's ritual hot bath I hosted. all your friends were there and they did not complain. turn a bit to the left
they loved the bubbles and the salt, actually. no you cannot talk to them I told you they had to go somewhere and won't be coming back soon. okay now I need to pour some wine on you it's uhh. for ancestors
