Travel

Please be gentle with me as I’m feeling really shitty right now :( I am a woman in my late 30s currently on a solo trip for 3 weeks. Usually I love to travel alone, but I was hesitant to go because I’d been dealing with a really painful heartbreak and wasn’t sure if being on my own was the best idea right now. It has turned out to be really healing and I’ve been feeling really happy and like I’m actually moving on and finding my footing again. A few nights ago I met a guy and we clicked and ended up spending about 3 days together meeting up to hang out, talk, watch the sunset, etc. I thought we had a really great connection and we connected on a deeper intellectual level. Also had great banter, chemistry, humour.

He seemed really genuine and into me and I went against my normal boundaries and ended up sleeping with him on his last night. I actually did say I didn’t want to have sex, but as we were fooling around he said “are you sure you don’t want to? We pretty much already are”. I kind of just went with it, even though I’m normally really good at saying no. Of course I recognize that this is a travel fling, but I felt very disrespected by how he treated me during sex. He was very rough, self serving and I felt like he treated me more as an object than a person. He left right away and I was left feeling super upset and used. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I guess I just assumed it would be a different experience based on how I thought we connected, but I saw a side of him that I didn’t like. I now feel really disoriented and like perhaps some of it didn’t feel consensual since for me I need to have a level of trust to have that kind of sex with someone. There was zero warmth and just all roughness. I am now all alone in a foreign country with a uti and my last travel friend left yesterday, so I’m just feeling extremely upset, used and disrespected.. and now have to try to navigate the local medical system to get antibiotics in a different town. I’ve never had a one night stand prior to this, but I’ve had a handful of shorter flings/travel romances and have never felt like this before. Everyone in the past has been super respectful and has shown genuine regard towards my feelings.

Since I’m alone here, I’m just really hoping for some support and words of encouragement. I am feeling disorientated and am having trouble making sense of how consensual it all was. I keep having this unhelpful thought that if I had just not hooked up with him and been so “easy to get”, he would have respected me and maybe wanted something more wholesome with me. I’ve never had a one night stand before and I just feel super shitty :(

EDITED TO ADD: there were parts throughout the experience that felt confusing in terms of consent. For example, him grabbing my neck too hard and then doing it again after I asked him to be gentle (amongst other things).

I’ll go first: I make it a point when I visit a new country to try out their McDonalds.

food is always shaped by a countries history and culture, so I think it’s super interesting to see the country specific items they have (beer in germany, Parmesan puffs in Italy, rice buns in Japan!) Same reason that even though I hate cooking I still love to visit foreign grocery stores!

I had a personal alarm on my bag, one where if you pull the strap a loud alarm goes off. I got it because I'm a solo traveler and hike a lot and wanted something to set off if I twisted my ankle in the middle of the woods.

I forgot about it and left it on my bag that I don't normally check, got my bag back without it attached. I imagine the cord got pulled during handling and the poor airport employees had to smash it to get it to stop yelling at them. Sorry guys 🤦‍♀️

I m sick at home right now and this seemed like a fun way to pass the time while half dead. So what are your unpopular travel opinions. I'll go first:

• I like Paris! Then again I grew up going to it, so I didn't have an overly romantisised view of it. Also, if you spent a grand total of two or three days and spent one at Disneyland you don't actually have any idea what Paris is like

• Rome is far dirtier and more touristy ( to the point you have to pre book pretty much everything)than Paris but does not get the hate.

• I like Warsaw way more than Krakow ( full disclosure, I live in Krakow ).

• Berlin is overrated as a travel destination. Don't get me wrong, it's nice, it seems like a great place to live, but it reminded me of many other cities I've been to. Also, the clubbing scene is super over rated and kinda cringe, not for anyone who likes being spontaneous and not trying super hard to look like you are not trying.

• Brazil sells itself very wrong. People have this view of it as a crazy party destination,when it's only ok in this regard. It is absolutely incredible destination for nature, culture and history and I wish tourists would engage more with that.

• The best parties and festivals are in the Balkans. The locals are amazing too!

• Spain is my favourite country but I like Barcelona the least.

• In the topic of Spain, the is so much more to Ibiza and Mallorca than partying.

• I had a really great time in Milwaukee and would go back.

• I am biased because I'm Australian, but I honestly haven't seen better beaches anywhere. Just as good, yes, but not better.

What are yours?

My wife booked a hotel in the wrong country, didn't find out till 7pm the night we was staying

I don't have anything outright crazy but I do have some thoughts that may go against with some prevailing views you might see online regularly.

Brussels is alright actually - I don't really get why it gets so much hate 😆 it's okay, mid sized with some sights, Ghent football stadium, atomium. People might find it a bit dull, sure, but there are worse places.

The negatives of Paris are overblown - I'll never get passionately hating Paris, its Okay and great if you love art & fashion. I think people that go with a perfect view of the city in mind will always be let down (its not even that dirty).

London draws too much attention from the rest of the UK - there are a number of nice cities and towns all over the UK, Brighton, Bath, Oxford, Swansea, Manchester, Edinburgh. You'd think London is the only city we have!

It sounds so simple in hindsight... but whether you're new to solo travelling or doing it for the first time, bring along a book or two in your backpack – it completely transforms the experience.

I've been solo travelling for years and – not being much of a reader – always ended up awkwardly staring around or looking at my phone. It's rekindled a long lost love of reading and for me has been the part I didn't know was missing.

There's no joy like idling away a few hours in a beautiful European square or the cosy corner of a cocktail bar while tuning out the digital world.

I have tried getting a lot of travel hacks from traveling across the world.
Some of those ive learned is forexample

To always download map in offline mode, so you use less battery and mobile data.

Take a picture of all important documents such as passports, insurane, drivers license. If you dont have cloud storage, send it to yourself in an email!

What are your travel hacks? :)