theyre inventing a new water bottle that never has enough water for how thirsty you are in the middle of the night. and theyre calling it the water bottle you alreaty own

knew this woman who used to be a gay man and when he was a gay man he liked ‘ironically’ referring to himself as she/her and so when he came out as a woman he decided the next logical step was to also switch his pronouns to he/him.

“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker

I am going to unfold all of your clean laundry and leave it in a pile on your bed

it's like every step that I take is another mistake to you

bestie…. it’s taking me one step closer to the edge and I’m about to break

do. Not

No ticket no ride 😿

"Snakes" aren't real. It's a camera artifact that happens when one of these extremely fast, tiny lizards runs past while the shutter is open.

The long, legless animal is nothing more than a myth perpetuated through culture and media. It's time to wake up and see the truth.

The kind of fake conspiracy theory that only works on people who have never seen wild snakes in person. I used to live in rattler country. Almost stepped on a couple. That I know of. Indeed very yikes.

You've probably seen the fake animatronic "snakes" the government puts up. You can tell because they move so slow

I'm an Australian and like a good 25% of Australians I used to make a living building these animatronics to put myself through uni. We field test them here before export to the rest of the world. That's why people say Australian snakes are so venomous; we've got a lot of beta release models here and we don't want tourists getting too close where they can spot the flaws.

hello my name is Very tiny flying insect i see you’ve got an uncovered beverage outdoors. Can i fall into it and kill myself please please please please please please please please please please

the way sesame street, a pbs puppet show for literal babies, is pressing on with pride content despite vitriolic monsters descending on every post to insinuate they're pedophiles or demons while some of the biggest companies on the planet who could swim in olympic swimming pools of money like scrooge mcduck on steroids buckle and cave just emphasizes how completely and utterly pathetic these corporations are. they'd butcher a baby if it meant saving a penny.

where Starbucks and Target and Budweiser will be bullied into submission with the slightest push, puppets and people in your neighborhood stand tall

Sesame Workshop has been doing pride stuff since 2017. The Muppet Wiki has a nice list of stuff they've done:

Jim Henson supported his openly queer colleagues in the 1970s! The Muppet performer Richard Hunt was majorly influential on Sesame Street, the Muppet Show, and Fraggle Rock.

They also dumped Chick-fil-A in 2012 when CFA made their stance on gay marriage known.

It would be a dishonor to their memories for the Jim Henson Company to kowtow to queerphobic demands when their namesake always stood for diversity and acceptance of everyone, and it makes me proud to be a Muppet fan to see that insisted upon 💖🌈

Tumblr should have a feature where every anon has a tenth of a percent chance to be de-anonymized. First because I think a 1/1000 chance would be too high a risk for most people sending hate. Second because it would be very funny.

showering:

pros: you get to feel clean. you get non greasy hair, non oily feeling skin, it just in general makes you feel better, more energised, refreshed.

cons: there are so many steps. oh my god are there so many steps. before getting into the shower there are steps. during the shower there are steps. and once youve gotten out of the shower? guess what!!! more fucking steps!!!!!!!! UGHHHH

I just think that 'animals are living intelligent creatures that have feelings and deserve to be respected' and 'when done properly farming is beneficial to both people and animals and there's nothing wrong with raising and killing animals for food, clothing, and other products' are concepts that very much can and should coexist

Tag yourself! I'm somewhere between F1 and F2!!

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

No they aren’t.

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

OK yes they are.

Dog

Dog

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

yeah they’re fluffye

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

checkmate athiests

fluffye

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

Tags via @jenroses

sharks are smooth dogs

BEHOLD, a SHARK

17 clown car pileup 84 injured 193 dead

i am indifferent towards your shoelaces

thanks. i obtained them through entirely legal means wholly unrelated to any country's head of state

protect the children

...do they not know? Do they not understand the ancient texts?

The old ways are not taught to the younger generations, they are left to be forgotten along with the tragedies of the past.

“Must have reliable transportation” = “this is how we legally discriminate against poor people who take the bus”

As someone who has held several management positions with hiring responsibility, this is true. The boss at my last job informed me before I conducted my very first I interview,

“You can’t outright ask someone if they have a car or have kids. That’s technically illegal. But you need to know because sometimes they can be deal breakers. You can just say ‘Do you have reliable transportation?’ and ‘Do you have any current circumstances that could impede you from being successful at work?’

To which the last one most people fumble and would say, “Well I have kids, so sometimes they could get sick. But that’s not often.” But then your potential employer could mark it down on your interview notes nonetheless.

I thought that maybe it was just my own employer. But now I noticed that I am asked both of these almost every time I interview for a job.

Language is very sneaky. Be careful how you answer. Corporations can be snakes.

In my businesses class my professor told us that the bus counts as reliable transportation. You do not legally have to say “I take the bus” just say “yes I do have reliable transportation” and leave it at that. Do not over share. DO NOT OVER SHARE. The second question just say no. If your kids are sick call out as if you are sick. I don’t have kids but I myself can get sick and that doesn’t hinder my ability to succeed so kids getting sick shouldn’t hinder you. When I call out I give as little info as possible. No one needs to know why you call out. They can’t ask about your “illness” because it violates HIPAA if they do. So as long as you don’t offer more info than you need to you should be okay.

One of my first job interviews I answered the transportation question “my family will arrange to either give me a ride or let me drive my mom’s car every time I need to go to work.” The rest of the interview was basically just to make it look like they weren’t not hiring me because I didn’t have a car.

At the job that did hire me, the first year and a half was that arrangement and I never missed work or arrived late because of car sharing.

the gifs i find on this website... you guys are art curators

this is not about gifsets this is about shit like this

I found these for sale HERE

"A.I art doesn't steal art! That's not true!"

Then why did A.I bros get so pissed off after artists began implementing Nightshade and similar programs?