- Kaz Brekker

In the middle of the Gryffindor Common room

Effie (visiting): Give your mom a hug!

James a bit embarrassed: Oh, yeah, ok.

Awkwardly hugs Effie.

Effie: I spent 37 hours squeezing you out of my body and this is what I get?

James: Oh- I just didn't-

Effie in Hindi: Give your mother a hug.

James a bit sacred: Okay.

Hugs Effie

naming my son james pretending like it's a family name when in fact i'm just really into james fleamont potter

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”

jesper in every kazper fic:

I hate being told to do something I was already planning on doing

like I was all about doing this task, and then you told me to do it and now i am annoyed and this task is now 300x less likely to be completed

I wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

The finger blocks it

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand

People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.

No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.

Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.

No the finger would stop it

I’m loving the idiocy of this post.

Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…

Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V

no the finger would stop it

You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses

the finger would stop it

date of origin: 28th of december, 2015.

These fuckwits are back again? How’s it going, Nine Finger Nasty? About to turn into an Eight Finger Egghead?

@meatswitch @raptorific this is a US based site. US Americans are known for two things- obsession with guns and incredible stupidity. Had this been anyone else, I’d say they’re trying to fuck with us. But with US Americans, about 70% of them are dead serious about mangling their hands trying to stop a bullet.

I’ve had four years to think about it and now I think the finger would stop it

I just tested it with my buddy. It stops the bullet

….Mythbusters WELDED A METAL SPIKE into the barrel of a gun to obstruct it, something heaps stronger than a human finger (and sealed the barrel better with the filler metal used to fuse the metal spike into place and prevent the explosive gases from escaping) but even that didn’t stop the bullet from doing damage.

It’s because they didn’t use a finger like I did

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Closest match: Aporophyla nigra genome assembly, chromosome: 12 Common name: Black rustic

(image source)

The fuck’s going on here? You’d rip your hand apart you fucks

no the finger would stop it

NO IT WOULDN’T

tf is going on

If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.

I know I’ve reblogged this recently but still so spot the fuck on.

In general if a dude gets angry by you declining an invitation you made the right choice to say no

If they get angry when you say “no” to hanging out with them, what else are they going to get angry about you saying “no” to?

^^ Slight side note: When I was online dating I used to do what so many of us do; set up a safety check with a friend. I used to be really slick about it; take a restroom break or quietly/subtle check and answer a text. Then I realized what a good marker it was to check if I wanted to actually be on this date at all. So at whatever time check in was supposed to be, I would pull out my phone and say “sorry, I just have to let my friend know I’m good”. If someone was vaguely offended, I might stay depending on the convo we had after. If someone was SUPER offended, I said “this is exactly why. Thanks for meeting me, I’ve got to go.”  This happened three times I can remember and the first time my voice was shaking so bad as I said it because, you know. You never know what their response is going to be and he was so aggressively angry I was ending the date “over that”. 

The person I ended up with? “Ah, yay-I’m-not-murdered check. Good plan.” Then when my phone was buzzing later (because we ended up on a five hour date on a Monday night) he goes “you should probably let them know you’re still alive. Do you have to go?” 

 *No woman I was ever on a date with was mad about this. Not one. 

This is just like testing the breaks before driving an unfamiliar car guys, and you do NOT drive a car with no breaks. If they can’t handle “no,” it’s not safe for you to say, “yes,” and you need to gtfo of there so you don’t get run over.

Also, OP I love your url, it is perfect for this post.

The crows as quotes I found on Pinterest part 2: ft. Wylan Hendricks

Jesper: Hey, Wy, guess what happened

Wylan: I'm sure you're excited, but can you give me 5 minutes, I need to finish this up.

Jesper: Ah, no worries.

- 5 minutes later -

Wylan : So you were saying?

Jesper: I've been shot

Wylan: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?

Nina: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes and they're too heavy carrying the burden of my existence.

Wylan: Literally all you had to do was say no.

some fem jegulus art ive been collecting over time + special cherry regulus for @messymoony

ive seen an insanely amount of people who are/were in both the aftg and marauders fandoms, so

Reminder that jk rowling is a terrible person and dont give her any money bc she is activily funding a lot of Bad Stuff

sorry for being a hater i want to be a lover but everything pisses me off

Just thought of Wesper kid finding a rogue spider on the loose in the house and, because he knows his Pa doesnt like them, he traps it under a bowl.

But he doesnt know how to get the spider outside without it running off so he just leaves it under the bowl and puts a note on top

The note reads:

Spider, please put outside…

Wylan appreciated the hieroglyphics and left it for Jesper 🤣🤣

With you there brother.😭

anytime your upset about someone not liking you back, Jesper Fahey got so brotherzoned, kaz accidently CALLED HIM BY HIS BROTHERS NAME