Genderbent!Roman: There’s a fully grown woman floating down the lazy river at our hotel with a margarita in her hand singing high school musical songs. I have seen my future and it is bright
Virgil: what the fuck? Good morning
Random person: are you a fan of Halloween?
Virgil, wearing 5 Halloween costumes combined into 1 and eating candy like a ravenous monster: no
[When they first met]
Virgil: oh my god… You’re so cool, and smart!
Logan, blushing: thanks
Virgil: can I crush your balls?
Logan, a huge Virgil simp: yEAH-
Virgil: *curled up in the corner, staring at a wall with eyeshadow all over his face*
Roman: what happened
Virgil, shaking: I’ve had the fucking Dumb Ways to Die song chorus stuck in my head for the past 10 days
Virgil: everything happens so much
Thomas: there’s nothing that you could ever do that would upset me :D
Virgil: what if, hypothetically, I’d been continuously eating carrots for the past month to piss you off?
Thomas, shaken beyond belief: that’s not welcome here go back to your dark pit
Virgil: *is inconvenienced ever so slightly*
Virgil: I’m evil now
Virgil: living deliriously
Logan: Are you still in the sinkhole?
Virgil: yes i am still in the sinkhole
Remus: when I die I want my ashes to be sneakily sprinkled over the food of hot celebrities so I can finally be inside them
Virgil: what the FUCK did you just say?
Remus: when I die I want my ashes to be sneakily sprinkled over the food of hot celebrities so I can finally be inside them