elftwink:
if you’re about to get top surgery, you may hear a voice in your head telling you to make a joke about getting something off your chest even though it’s overplayed. im here to let you know it’s your imperative and sacred duty to not only make the joke but to tell it to every person you talk to. and that you are right it would be funny as fuck. this is not sarcastic if you tell enough people one of them will have never heard it before and also it’s still funny to every person who has heard it listen to me this is a once in a life time opportunity— [i start getting dragged out by the palace guards] commit to the bit!!! if you don’t you’ll forever wish you had!! heed my warning or forever suffer the cons— [castle door slams shut behind us]
the-haiku-bot:
theburninggalaxy:
theburninggalaxy:
MATHS IS SUPER FUCKING QUEER FUCK THE WHOLE “IM GAY I CANT DO MATHS” BULLSHIT
Maths is where you can study and look for the intrinsic beauty and understanding of something that is seen by wider society as needlessly complicated, ugly, mostly pointless, “oh god just shut up about it already”, and incomprehensible.
In what universe is that not wonderfully and beautifully queer?
In what universe
is that not wonderfully
and beautifully queer?
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
cafffine:
you need to listen to Bruce Springsteen’s live albums not just his studio stuff because his crowd work has three modes it’s either “Clarence you should walk me on a leash” or “one time I fell down the stairs and I still think about it….do you still think about it?” or “this songs for my dad who only loved me sort of which was worse than not at all. he’s not in the crowd tonight. or maybe he is. if you see him please god tell me.” and before anyone can react to any of that he’s hootin and hollerin and Clarence Clemons is doing things with a saxophone that are now illegal in more than 15 US states
lastvalyrian:
One important thing that you should do as a queer person is to find another queer person whose brain works just like yours (romantically or not) and then adopt a cat together and then finally steal that fucking Pikachu and make it big
freemediaonline:
freemediaonline:
freemediaonline:
freemediaonline:
If two jobs won’t pay for the basics, why work at all
Like at this point literally why not steal
Last few times I’ve gone shopping I’ve only scanned half my groceries. I rang up produce as bulk flour. Fuck are they gonna do. It was an honest mistake.
I used to work at a grocery store. Half the shit you see on the shelves gets thrown in the dumpster, and then locked in the dumpster so the homeless people can’t get it. You’re doing the workers a favor by stealing.
