Q&As

My husband and I have 2 kids (6yo boy and 8mo girl). He told me for two weeks leading up to mothers day that he had an entire weekend planned for me. This is NOT normal, but there's been years in the past where I did complain and feel hurt because he didn't really do much of anything for me on Mother's Day but I always went all out for him on Father's Day and I just felt unappreciated. So I'm thinking that he finally understood where I was coming from and was going to make it special for me this year. I quite literally ONLY asked for a massage and he repeatedly said that he couldn't just give me a massage because it "wasn't enough". So like.. idk. At this point I'm truly thinking this man went all out.

Anyways, Friday rolls around and a bunch of people start showing up. He invited a good 10-15 people over. I think I knew 2 people. He called it the "Mother's Day bonfire". We had a fire alright, but I was the one who chased the kids around all evening (my 6yo, while holding the baby, and some other persons 2 kids because they weren't watching them) and quite literally no one spoke to me. I wasn't acknowledged until the very end of the evening and that was by my husband buddy who told me he was "stealing" my husband to go out four wheeling. It's like 11pm at this point and everyone (except me) was drinking. I said my husband wasn't going anywhere. I even said this to my husband. "You're drinking, you're not going anywhere". He took that as a "oh, I need to find a DD and then I can go". So, he asked the neighbor to drive him around and took off with everyone. I'm extremely hurt at this point because this was my promised weekend and I got stuck with other people's kids, wasn't spoken to at all, had a mess to clean up and now my husband is taking off. I explain how hurt I am the next morning. He says he gets it and apologizes and says he just had too much to drink and wasn't really thinking clearly. Okay, I get it. It's whatever. We didn't do anything Saturday because he spent half the day sleeping off a hangover.

Well, yesterday rolls around and his boss calls him at 6am and asks him to come in to work because they are short staffed and he said yes? So I expressed hurt and said "but it's Mother's Day". And he says "I know, I'm sorry, I just don't want to pass up the opportunity for more hours". Which, I get that too. So, whatever. He gets home at 5pm and starts getting the kids dressed and ushered toward the door so I'm thinking we are finally going to celebrate. We end up going on a walk (I love walking) but 5 minutes in and he's complaining and has us turn around because of the black flies (they weren't even bad). So again, I'm disappointed. When we get back home he lays down on the couch and says "oh your gift is in the truck". So I go down and it's a $5 storage container for sugar/flour. I do like stuff like this but I'm so hurt at this point. I asked him if I could at least get a massage and he says "I'm sorry babe, I'm just so tired" and falls asleep around 8pm when he usually doesn't even go to bed until midnight/1am. I just sat there crying. I took the 3 gifts that I already bought him for Father's Day and chucked them in the trash can. Personalized items that cost me more than I want to admit but I don't even care anymore. He found them in the garbage this morning and asked me what they were and why they were in the trash covered in food and I told them they were his father's day gifts and left it at that. He's now saying that he "tried" to make my weekend special and that he's hurt by me throwing away his gifts to retaliate against him for it not turning out the way he wanted it to.

My sister died 6 months ago so yesterday was my mom's first Mother's Day after the loss of one of her kids. And the kid who made her a mom at that. I (24m) wanted to make it special for mom and my wife was more than happy to help me, even though Mother's Day is rough for her because she was not given a good or even a "tries her best" mother. So the day is a painful reminder that my wife didn't ever have a healthy maternal figure in her life. Father's Day is similar but she never knew her father and never had a good father figure either.

My wife still wanted to help make mom's first Mother's Day without my sister special. We went around getting all my mom's favorite things (favorite flowers, ice cream, chocolate, a reservation for her favorite restaurant, a scarf in her favorite color because scarves are her favorite thing ever). We also compiled a little video of my sister. Mom talked about Mother's Day being more difficult without her and wanting to watch some home movies of her so we did something special with that. My wife also helped me recreate a dance I did for my mom on Mother's Day when I was a kid because she talked about that a lot. Basically it was just meant to show how much we love her and help her through this not so easy Mother's Day. My wife played a very big role. She even suggested bringing breakfast to her and serving her breakfast in bed.

Yesterday morning came, we made her favorite breakfast and bought it to mom at her and dad's. After she came out of her room is when things went to shit. Mom saw my wife and asked what she was doing there and didn't look like she wanted my wife there. It surprised me because my wife was with us last year too. Mom was grumbling and hostile to my wife. I told mom that we'd planned some special things for her. This didn't change anything and she told me she didn't want my wife there. Then she told my wife she had no right to intrude and why would she want her there. My wife said she was sorry, she hadn't wanted to upset her. I told mom that she was being rude and it wasn't right to take her sadness out on my wife. Mom said she just wanted us to spend Mother's Day as a family and I told her my wife is family. My mother grumbled and dad asked me to lay off. My wife said it was fine. But then mom started on my wife a few minutes later and after she'd opened most of her gifts and she said she was tired of her being here and her own mother hadn't even wanted her so why did she think she'd be welcome. That was too much for me. I told mom I should have left earlier but I wanted to be understanding and supportive but she had crossed a line and I was done. That she could celebrate Mother's Day without us.

My wife and I left. She felt bad and I told her not to and I apologized for not leaving sooner. She told me I didn't need to leave and I told her I did. Mom and dad both texted me countless times yesterday saying I should go back and how could I abandon mom after she lost my sister.

AITA?

My (27F) sister (25F) had a miscarriage 6 or 7 months ago. It was very early, she had a positive pregnancy test, but then a couple days later tested negative and had her period. My husband (29M) and I just had our first baby who is now 3 weeks old. For Mother’s Day, we all went to my parents’ house to celebrate. My sister and I both brought our mom gifts, and my mom also got me flowers and chocolate to celebrate my first Mother’s Day.

I think it’s also worth noting that I had an ectopic pregnancy that ended up rupturing three years ago and we’ve been trying to have a baby ever since. I lost a fallopian tube and basically nearly died. I’ve had 2 other miscarriages since then as well. This was a very special first true Mother’s Day. I was in the hospital recovering from the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy over Mother’s Day three years ago, and my family brought me flowers and balloons to help me feel better about going through something so traumatic so close to Mother’s Day. I think this is why my sister may have felt the way she did.

My mom didn’t get my sister anything for Mother’s Day. As a result, my sister ended up throwing a fit and was yelling at us, calling us names, and I ended up yelling back that nobody owed her a Mother’s Day gift because she’s not a mother yet.

My parents were understanding but said I should’ve been less harsh. Am I the asshole?

I am a teacher at a private school. The public school in the surrounding areas are crap. I have been working there for 13 years and I should retire soon. Probably in five years. I have a few grandkids but this is about Ryan and her mother Jenny.

Jenny and I do not get along. We avoid each-other at family events and just try to be civil. I find her to be extremely entitled and I am sure she has plenty to say about me.

I teach kindergarten and since the private school is small we have a single class. You have to apply for the school. The school plans to expand but right now it is small. So I teach all of them.

Jenny informed me that they applied and Ryan is suppose to start next fall. He will be in my class, and Jenny wasn’t okay with that.

She asked me to move positions or to retire. I told her no and this started an argument. She doesn’t want me to teach Ryan and I told her to suck it up or not go to the school.

She called me a jerk and my son wishes for me to apologize

Edit: I am going to work so I will not be able to respond

When I married my husband we had a smallish wedding. 150 guests. Trust me that's small for our families.

We paid for everything ourselves. All together we spent about $25,000. It was in our budget and we had saved up for it. And that included everything.

My dress, the wedding party's dresses and tux rentals. Catering, you name it we paid and came in under budget.

Our guest were family and close friends. The way it should be. And they were generous with gifts, both from our registry and cash in envelopes.

When everything was said and done our house was filled with great stuff we needed. And our savings were several thousand dollars over where we started before we paid for the wedding.

My husband's sister just eloped in February. And nobody found out about it until early April when she sent out links to her wedding registry.

Not too many people have bought anything off of it yet. And she is getting upset about that.

All she talks about whenever we speak is how cheap everyone is. Every conversation leads back to the same topic.

After more than a month of this I have had enough. I asked her if she understood why we got gifts when I married her brother. Like at our physical wedding that took place at a church and then a reception at a rented ballroom.

She said I was treating her like an idiot and that she understood the difference between our weddings. I asked her why she would expect the exact same treatment for two very different events. I said that only an idiot would think the outcome would be the same in both situations.

She is mad at me. My husband said he was also frustrated with her stupidity but that I should apologize for calling her an idiot.

I (41 female) have a 15 year old daughter, let’s call her Beth, with my husband. On the weekends/ after work during the week primarily use public transportation.

Most of the time Beth rides with us on the bus she refuses to sit next to us (in normal teenage fashion) and prefers to sit as far away from us as possible. She also has a bad habit of putting earphones in and zoning out, not paying attention to our bus stop so my husband and I have to squeeze through the packed bus and get her attention so she gets off the bus with us. We’ve had talks with her about how dangerous it is to be completely unaware of your surroundings especially on a public bus but she refuses to pay attention to the bus stops or sit closer to us so we can easily get her attention.

Additionally, she has been asking us for more freedom. She wants to spend a pay check on her own buss pass, which we are seriously considering for certain bus routes at certain times but we are hesitant due to the fact that she doesn’t not pay attention which could easily become a problem.

That brings us to Saturday, when we got on the bus Beth chose to sit in the very back while I sat at the front. The bus was unusually empty that day and I got an idea. The next bus stop was the stop in front of our house and I exited the bus but Beth did not (she wasn’t paying any attention) immediately after I booked it down the road to the next stop (the bus terminal) and met the bus there. I was prepared to board again to get her but she exited.

She was angry, saying that I had abandoned her on the bus and that she was terrified when she looked up and didn’t see me there. I apologized for scaring her but explained how dangerous it is to not pay any attention to what’s going on around you. I told my husband at home and he agreed that it was a justified lesson to teach. When Beth went to her grandparents house (my parents) and told them and a few of my sisters about the incident called me and asshole. Our side: Beth wants her own city buss pass but when we ride with her we have issues getting her to pay attention and stick with us. I left her on the bus at the second to last stop of a bus route that I knew was guaranteed to stop at the terminal and booked it there, she was not alone for more than 4 minutes on a bus that had very few people on it and I was pretty confident she would get off at the stop (as it’s our usual) This was a last resort after me and my husband have had several talks about being safe in public and being responsible.

My daughter/ parents/ sisters side: I left my young daughter on a public bus by herself and did not tell her she was going to be alone. It was cruel to punish her by leaving I should have resorted to other methods that did not involve me getting off the bus without her. Anything could have happened in the 4 minutes she was alone and it was completely irresponsible to leave her. So, AITA for leaving my 15 year old daughter on the bus?

Sometimes in an interview there will be an exchange that goes something like this:

Me: what's the salary? Employer: write down what you're asking on the application and we'll tell you if it's too low or high Me: ok. Employer: this is too high. The starting salary for this position is X.

If they already have a specific salary in mind, why do they make us guess? It seems pointless and is honestly humiliating if you don't guess it right. Is there any point to this practice?

I (40M) just got off a long flight, the kind where even the comfiest seats feel like torture racks. Now, I'm a big dude. Not yet book 2 seats level, but enough for plane seats to be absolute hell. Booked a window seat, figured the extra space would help..

The flight attendant assigns a woman to the middle seat. Nice person, we exchanged greetings, no problem. Here's where things get tricky. Nature called a couple of times during the flight, and let's just say squeezing by in that cramped space is an exercise in contortionism at the best of times. The woman in the middle seat politely refused to get up whenever I needed to use the restroom. (The lady in the aisle seat was very accommodating and would get up any time either I or the lady in the middle needed to get up)

Now, I get it. Nobody wants some sweaty dude brushing past them. I tried my best to minimize contact, literally sucked in my gut and held my breath like I was underwater . But even with all the contorting, there was some unavoidable brushing past.

At the end of the flight, the woman makes a passive-aggressive comment about "personal space" and how uncomfortable I made her feel throughout the flight. Honestly, I felt terrible. Didn't mean to make her feel that way, but what else was I supposed to do? Hold it for 8 hours? Ask her to physically get up? (Since she repeatedly didn't get up and indicated I should squeeze by, I had no reason to think she was too bothered by it)

AITA for making her uncomfortable?

My garden is my pride. An 8 year old hoodlum from a nearby council housing estate destroyed it with a pair of shears. I caught him on my doorbell camera.

The non-emergency police came out and I shared this with them. He has destroyed every plant in my garden. All my spring flowers are gone. My california bloom is decapitated.

Police identified the boy, but won't do anything because he is under 10.

Please help me. I'm so depressed and angry right now.

Edit; Apologies, I had typed "california bloom" instead of "california lilac." I meant that my California lilac was in bloom prior to being decapitated.

So my fiance and I are supposed to be getting married next month. We have a 2 year old daughter together. When I was pregnant, he moved 2.5 hours to be with me and our child, so he doesn't get to see his family too often. Since we've been together (3 years) he has always gone to see his mother for Mother's Day. I am entirely okay with him wanting to visit his mother, especially because he doesn't get to see her too often. The problem is, I feel like I am always an after thought.

For example, last year I went with him to visit his mom on Mother's Day weekend. He took her out for dinner and got her beautiful flowers. I witnessed him spoil her all weekend, and then Sunday he scrambled into the store on the way back home and got me some dead flowers, a teddy bear, and a card. At the time I just pretended it didn't bother me.

This year he tells me about a week ago that he is going to visit his mother for Mother's Day weekend again. This time I opt not to go with him. He asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, and I simply told him. "I just don't want to be an afterthought like I was last year." He assured me I wouldn't be. He told me that he would be back on Sunday to spend Mother's Day with me.

Sunday arrives and I put on my nice clothes, expecting that he may come home and take us out for dinner or something. I don't hear from him all morning. I'm checking my phone waiting for a call or a Happy Mother's Day text, but nothing. I finally get a text from him at 2pm wishing me a Happy Mother's Day, but still no word as to when he will be home.

I finally call him around 6:30pm and ask him where he was at. He said he was about an hour away from home. When I asked him why he was so late, he told me he fell asleep after he made breakfast for his family. I told him I was really disappointed in him and don't even bother coming over to my place. He said "Okay" with an attitude as if I was in the wrong. I told him I asked for just one thing, to not be an "afterthought", and that's exactly what I was. He just kept saying "Okay" so I hung up the phone. So please tell me, AITA here?!

Met this girl about a year ago, we went on a few dates, and things were going good.

Eventually she confessed that she has an onlyfans. She showed me, and it was solo sexual stuff, well, mostly. While she was showing me, she did have a pic of a dude next to her, I didn't get to read it as she was just showing me in passing, so idk what exactly that was, but I'm assuming it was a sex video or something.

Honestly, as soon as I heard "onlyfans" I decided I wasn't ever gonna be her bf. I only checked it out JUST in case it wasn't actually something sexual.

I told her that I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship with her, and that we just be friends.

She seemed disappointed, but agreed to being friends.

Fast forward a few months, and we had sex after drinking too much.

We talked about it, and agreed to keep sleeping together, but as a fwb situation.

Recently, I told her I wanted to stop because I was seeing someone else, it wasn't serious, but I don't like sleeping with someone else while dating someone, even if we haven't agreed to be exclusive.

She asked I changed my mind about relationships, I told her not really, and asked why?

She then asked why I haven't asked her for something more, and I simply told her it was because she had an onlyfans.

She then got mad at me, and said I used her.

We had a fight, but I fail to see what I did wrong here, we both agreed to just be fwb.

He didn't stop with the calls and texts and I read some of the comments wondering why he suddenly wants to be in my daughter's life so I agreed to meet up with him and discuss everything yesterday. We talked for about 30 mins. 30 mins of me trying to explain to him that he literally gave up his parental rights years ago and there's no need for threatening since he legally has no right to see her if I don't allow him. While he was focused on expressing how I haven't changed and complimenting my body. His comments became too much so I decided to just leave but I noticed he was wearing a ring on his right hand and didn't hesitate to ask him about it. He said he proposed a few weeks ago but he thinks he rushed things. I asked him if she knows about my daughter and if this is why he's here. He said no she still doesn't know and he genuinely wants to be part of his daughter's life. He basically spent 30 mins flirting with no shame that he's engaged and showed no sign of being genuinely interested in getting involved. I told him to just forget about my daughter but if he wants to we can see a judge and they can laugh at him. He threatened to cut financial support and I made it clear I never really needed his help. Sending me $1000 once or twice a year with his sister was already no help and I can give back his money if he wants to.

Now I know what I did wrong but it was the only way to get the answer I needed. On my way home I called his sister and lied about how things went. I said that he told me everything and how his fiancée encourages him to be a better person and I think that's why he wants in which is a good thing. His sister told me everything I needed to know. How his fiancée has a good heart and how she didn't like it when she discovered that he has a daughter but never saw her before. She basically wouldn't have said yes if he didn't promise to try and fix things. So both his mother and sister knew the reason he wanted to get back into my daughter's life and his mother encouraged me to let him in without even being honest with me.

So all this wasn't about my daughter. It was about him and impressing his fiancée who was horrified that he wants nothing to do with his daughter. My mother gets it now but his mother called the same day asking what's the plan now. I told her there's no plan. He could have just given me full custody but he wanted nothing to do with her to the point he decided to sign away his rights. And he seemed already fine with the relationship they have which is none. She tried to make me consider letting him in because at the end it's my daughter's decision. My daughter is 5 years old what decision?? Anyway I made it clear to her that both her and her daughter legally aren't my child's family and from now on there will be no alone time with her. And if they keep pressing me I can easily cut them out.

I will discuss this with a lawyer though. I have everything documented and I'm sure he doesn't have a leg to stand on but still. Just in case he tries something.

And let me show you some of his texts that I'm very tempted to get his fiancée's number and send her some screenshots. English isn't our first language so I translated them for you

"Who sees you now would never tell you weren't ready for this. you look happier"

"You know I really didn't know how much I missed you until I saw you today"

"Good night beautiful kiss (my daughter's name) for me"

I don't know if I'm just overreacting but if my fiancé texts his ex this way. I for sure won't find it acceptable.

By the way with him back. I realized that I never really dealt with the way he broke my heart. Maybe I cried but I had to figure out my life as soon as I could for the sake of my daughter. When I gave birth all I started thinking about was my daughter. Even the nights I called him it was never to ask about 'me' it was always about 'us'. I was scared and not ready to be a mom. And now that I'm a mother I've never felt this strong. I don't know what I'm trying to say here but I'm glad how my life turned out.

Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I gathered the courage to see him. I feel so much better. At least now I know I don't have to worry about him shaking my baby's life up 🙌🏻🤍🤍