Stories & Confessions

I love my parents and my little brother. I am not going low/no contact with them. They just have a problem understanding boundaries and that I have my own life now.

After college I moved out from my parents house and into an apartment. It was great. I gave my dad a key for emergencies. My parents used it for non emergency situations. They once dropped off my brother without asking because they had other family in town and needed the space.

I told them repeatedly that this was not acceptable behaviour and I took my key back. They had made copies and it happened again. I had the locks changed. That caused a problem. But it was "A" problem not "MY" problem.

I have been saving up and decided to pull the trigger on my first home purchase. I make a great living so I found a gated community I liked that has a security officer at the front gate 24/7. I'm dating but my boyfriend doesn't live with me. I like the safety of my neighborhood.

I did not give my parents a key. I also didn't put them on the approved visitors list. My boyfriend has a key and is on the list. Security doesn't need to call me to see if he can come in.

So they cannot just pop by. They can't just drop off some groceries for me. My mom can't come do some cleaning. My dad can't come do maintenance.

Well they can do all these things. They just need my permission first. And they hate it.

They keep asking me for a key and to be put on the list. I just remind them that they have proven to be untrustworthy in the past. This sets them off. They start saying that they aren't thieves and yadda yadda. I'm not going to change my mind but they are adamant that I am treating them poorly.

AITA?

So this happened an hour again.

Went on a second date with a girl I met through Tinder. Date went well and got to her place to watch a movie (spirited away), it was nice and we began to make out but her phone kept ringing the whole time. So I asked her, is that a friend of yours who's worried or something?

She says no, it's one of my friends with benefits. So I ask her, huh, how many do you have then? She says 4, depends on what she feels like. So I say, but we're dating, right? She says yeah, but I thought you weren't staying over so someone else is coming after me.

I was kinda shocked so I grabbed my jacket, wished her good luck, told her not to text me, and left. Am I crazy or what?

I, a 46f, greatly enjoy cooking and baking. I've always told my kids if they had a small wedding I'd be happy to provide the food as a wedding gift.

My daughter "Leslie" is getting married soon. They're having 47 guests total so I offered to cook per my long standing offer and said I could do something like my peppered beef or jambalaya with some jalapeño cheesy biscuits. Leslie and her fiance "Will" took me up on it and said they'd help buy ingredients. Leslie sent me some recipes a few days ago and when I asked what they were for, she said they wanted to add one or two big pot dishes that weren't spicy so Will's family could have something to eat. I know that boy can't eat a popper or most my meals without getting red in the face but I didn't think his whole family was like that. Leslie said it's because his father has ulcers and stomach problems so Will's family was careful how they ate while Will was growing up.

I told Leslie I already told her what I was cooking for her wedding and she argued that I'm making it about me instead of listening to what the bride and groom want. I finally told her I'd cook the extra dishes but if she's going to treat me like I'm a caterer than I'll need her to pay me for all the extra prep and work. Leslie said that gifts are supposed to be what the person receiving them wants and that she might as well hire a caterer if she's going to pay and hung up.

I thought Leslie would cool down and come talk to me about how we'd handle this and reasonable payment for taking on extra cooking but my youngest told me when he went to visit Leslie she and Will were talking with a catering company. Was I wrong to ask her to pay me for cooking?

Yes personality matters too but I can’t stand when I see others shame someone for saying they aren’t physically attracted to someone. That’s okay. It’s two checkboxes; body and mind. The body is based on looks and decided within seconds of seeing someone, we really have no control over this. The mind/personality part obviously takes more time to sort out. To me, and to most, if someone doesn’t check both they have no interest in being with them. Some claim that look attraction changes after getting to know someone, for me personally this has never happened and never would. For most I’ve spoken with on the subject it’s the same.

THAT IS OKAY. That is normal. That is not shameful or shallow. The great thing is types exist and someone’s 4 is another’s 7. Seriously looks matter people, it’s okay. That’s not to say be cruel in how you may reject someone but just understand looks are important.

TL:DR: Shady Businessman booby traps account to collect overdue money and gets me blamed. Exposes he's grossly overcharging small businesses. I inherit his customers and drop the cost for his previous customers from over $1 million to $80,00

I'm going to keep this intentionally vague and I apologize for the long read, but this has been a little bit of a complex situation that requires a bit of backstory.

I (29M) own a specialized equipment cleaning and maintenance company. I've been running the company for the last 12 years. I take great pride in my work and run an honest business. We service everything from Government facilities to small mom and pop operations and I try to make everything as clear, transparent, and honestly priced as possible.

For the last 10 years I've had had a great relationship with Big Company. Big Company is a service provider, something of a middleman actually, in my industry. They contract me to service roughly 35% of their customer base and we have grown to have a mutual respect for one another. They're probably my largest customer, or at least close. Well, roughly two years ago Big Company brought on another service provider to contract owned by Shady Businessman. Shady Businessman claims he has many different skills and credentials and handles a lot of the more maintenance and installation side of things for Big Company.

I often do follow up work at businesses that he's done installs at - it's not good. Improperly installed equipment. Crazy repairs and electrical work that just don't make sense. It's horrible. Talking to customer after customer, I find he's taking advantage of their mechanical ignorance. Up charging 400% the price of parts and double, even triple the usual going hourly rate for this kind of work. For example, a $300 part that would take two hours to install, he's charged $1,500 for the part and another $1,500 for labor. Crazy. I mention it Big Company and they tell me "he's such a knowledgeable and experienced guy, usually those kind of guys come at a premium." Whatever. I leave it be and stay in my lane.

Flash forward about a year and to the start of my troubles - I get a call from the owner of Big Company telling me "hey, we have a new account, they're a bit more complicated, a little out of our wheelhouse. Can we give the account to you?" Sure. Within a week I'm down at the account doing a cleaning and maintenance. The type of system they have is a bit more complicated, but I am very experienced and familiar with these systems and it isn't an issue. Or so I thought. I go to start everything up and the system isn't turning on properly. The owner comes in and says "hey, we're going to have to start operations in a little over an hour. Are we good to go?" I tell him "the system seems to not want to start, I'm going to track down the issue and we should be good to go." He gives me a frustrated huff and leaves the room.

Fifteen minutes later I get a call from Shady Businessman. "Hey OP, I heard you're down at XYZ account. Owner wants you to stop work immediately and head out. I'm going to come down there to take over." Owner comes back in the room and confirms "Hey we're like 45 minutes from open and we've used Shady Businessman in the past, we just need to get this system going." Sure. I take off.

A few days go by and I get a call from the account. They tell me I'm going to need to call my insurance and file a claim. Their system is broken. Needs a new motor. $58,000 repair cost. We go back and forth for awhile with me trying to figure out what they're talking about. They're adamant I broke this system on the word of Shady Businessman. Call insurance or see us in court. I call up my insurance. They're specific to my industry and have specialists that know the ins and outs of the job. I tell their expert every step I performed in my work. They say there's no way I damaged the motor, but they'll take care of everything.

A little while later I get a call from Shady Businessman. He says "hey man, I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to be you." "What do you mean?" Shady Businessman "Well, to be honest, I had done a lot of installation work for this company like six months back. They owe me something like $12,000. I figured if their system wasn't working they'd call me in a pinch, have to pay me the money they owe me to get me down there. Plus, I'd have some guaranteed work doing the repairs on their system. It was supposed to be one of Big Company's guys though, not you. So I'm sorry man." I was livid. This dude booby trapped the system so that when it was being taken apart, the release of this sensor would short the motor. I try everything I can to get him to admit it again, text me, email me, say it on the phone. Anything now that I'm collecting evidence. No dice.

I tell my insurance. They say they'll get everything taken care of. It's all I can do. I tell the account, which is a pretty small business and they're livid. See the thing is, Shady Businessman is a smooth talker. He makes up a lot of complicated stuff the customer doesn't understand and they just think he's the smartest guy around. So far he's cost this small business near $70k in unnecessary work. I warn off my customer base from this dude, try to get word around in the industry a little bit, but it's also hard to do so without seeming like some bitter dude without any evidence trying to blame shift.

Four months go by. I get a call from the account's insurance. Standard business insurance. This insurance agent is a dill hole. Apparently he worked in the industry for a short while and considers himself an expert. Imagine being a surgeon and getting lectured by someone that took an anatomy class once. He was so obnoxious. He's telling me I need to get a different insurance company because my insurance is garbage, they've denied the claim because they're claiming it's not my fault and anyone with half a brain can figure out that I'm at fault. I explain the situation to him. He just thinks I'm some dude trying to avoid accountability. They've paid out $58,000 for repairs on this system and they want me to pay $1,000 for the customer's deductible. Non negotiable, pay or court.

I'm so over this situation, I just pay the $1,000 and move on. Well that same day I'm picking up supplies from a warehouse and I run into Big Company's owner and owner of even Bigger Company that I've been trying to pick up as a customer. We get to talking and I tell them about the insurance call I got, explain the back story a bit. Their faces both go pale. Apparently, they've both been using Shady Businessman and they've been having all manner of issues, but he's such a smooth talker, they've never connected it to him. They begin telling me all the issues they've been having at their different locations. Everything from electrical problems to some "state of the art equipment" that was installed by this guy that created a whole slew of problems that surprise surprise, only he could fix.

They're curious if I can take over handling his role for them. They want to cut ties. I tell them certainly. I've expanded what my business can cover and we can take over the backlog of work Shady Businessman has waiting for him. The next day they both send me lists of all the work they're waiting on him to do. One by one I start putting together quotes for each job. The list they sent me has Shady Businessman's existing quote figures on there and I'm finding that most every quote I'm putting together is half, if not a quarter of the price and that's being generous to my own wallet. Some jobs include fees for things that sound complicated but are just made up terminology. One job for example, he's upcharged the equipment cost from $75 for the part to $600, is charging $1,800 in labor for a one man, two hour install, and has added an additional hazardous material charge (not at all a thing for this job) for nearly $1,200. So $3,600 total to a little mom and pop brick and mortar that I dropped the material down to $75, the labor down to $600 and dropped the hazmat removal entirely. From $3,600 to $675.

We're so specialized that really there's only a few of us in the state and this mom and pop felt like they had no choice. Another job was $800 per $100 part times 6 plus nearly $15,000 dollars in labor (for a six hour job) for something one guy could do, plus an additional mileage fee of $400 (he lives 10 miles away) plus a "material transportation fee" like what? These six parts could fit in a backpack. Over $20k for a job that I ended up charging $3,000 for. This is another small business trying to open a second location and this dude is being so Shady and manipulative with his pricing. He's going to drive them out of business as they're trying to take a leap and open a second location. Breaks my heart.

All in all, after I priced everything out, he had bid out a little over a million dollars in work for himself over the next six months that I got down to just over $280,000. From a tad over $1 million to a bit over $280,000. I could not believe it. My new customers I've inherited have all been so grateful and gotten me connected with even more work in just a short while, I've easily doubled my business as a result of this over such a short time.

Shady Businessman is apparently not doing well. The smaller businesses have some sort of Facebook group that word has been going around in not to use him and it's gotten to the bigger business and corporations and now his credentials have been exposed as bogus. Businesses he was doing work for, big household names are calling me to take over as their local provider and it's just the start. I genuinely hope people start taking legal action against him. Taking advantage of businesses, often struggling to get, just because

So I (28F) recently got the opportunity to purchase a house that has been in the family for quite awhile (80+ years). I have been staying at home with my parents rent free for nearly my entire life. I occasionally contribute with groceries, dinners, household chores, and yardwork, but they have never charged me rent despite me offering. I work in public education and don't make great money so it has been very helpful to save up. I started the purchase process and have locked in an interest rate and have nearly everything ready.

The closing date is set for a month from now. I have asked my parents not to say anything to my sister (26F) until I close and start to move because we don't get along well and I don't want to deal with the fallout I believe will come. She has also been living at home, but instead of saving money she spends quite a bit. 2 new cars within 3 years, large tattoos, vacations, etc. She has a large storage unit filled with stuff she claims she has bought for when she buys a house. I don't care how she spends her money, but she makes significantly more than me and has wiped most of her savings out by living like this.

Instead of them waiting like I asked, they went ahead and told her. They claimed it was "too difficult" to keep it a secret and that she "knew something was going on". Now she is basically throwing a tantrum saying that it isn't fair I get to buy a house and she doesn't, claiming that they never helped her with anything, etc. Every time she sees me she is pissed off and starts a fight. I told them that this was what was going to happen and they claim that they couldn't have known/didn't think she was going to act like this. I feel like I am rightfully upset about this, but they say I am acting like a child and need to just get over it. AITA?

EDIT: I really truly did not think this was going to get as much attention as it has....here are a few answers to questions I keep seeing.

1. I am not getting any kind of monetary discount on the house. I got first offerings because the relative who is selling it asked me first and I said yes. The only thing I am getting is the washer/dryer and snowblower that they're leaving behind.

2. My sister has been shown the house by my parents (now that she knows, I found this out about an hour ago) and she has commented on how ugly she thinks it is and that she hates it. She claims she wouldn't have wanted it anyway, but is still very angry about it all.

3. The house overall is about 200k in a MCOL area. It is 4 bedrooms 1.5 bathrooms. I am not planning on getting a roommate, I would prefer to be alone.

4. This house isn't sentimental to her or I in any way. We didn't grow up going to this house for holidays or gatherings. We have both been in it maybe 3 times prior to me purchasing it.

5. I don't believe my parents are being intentionally disrespectful/rude/spiteful, I believe them when they say it was hard to keep it a secret. I just wish they would have listened when I asked them to wait.

6. My sister and I have had a rocky relationship for years. We don't speak often despite living in the same house and our work schedules are pretty opposite so we typically can naturally avoid one another.

Thank you so much to everyone who is saying congratulations and nice things, I really do appreciate it.

I'm on mental health meds for depression and bipolar disorder. They work well and I have no discernible side effects. My fiance knew this when he proposed, but later in our engagement he said that he wanted me to come off my meds, and that he would pick a doctor for me that he trusted, because he didn't trust my current one. I broke off the engagement. He told everyone that it was because I "wasn't ready to be married." AITAH?

Our 8yo son is going to his first sleepaway camp next month. Since my ex and I make the same income, we do not give or get child support but rather pay for different expenses. For example, I pay for his sitter and she pays for his extracurricular activities like camp.

Sleepaway camp was so expensive that they don't even list the cost online. Basically his camp and sports cost more than his sitter so I agreed reimburse her whatever the difference is between that and childcare. So far it's $150 and I said I'd give it to her today when we see each other at our son's swim lesson.

I was on my way home after a short business trip. Obviously my son was at his mom's. I got a call from the sitter. He said my son's mom came home and was wasted. She was passed out on the couch. Our sitter said he didn't feel okay leaving our son with her. Our son hadn't had dinner and Friday is bath night where I scrub him clean.

I said obviously I can't do anything as I'm about to fly back home and asked if he could stay and watch my son. He said he couldn't. His place is a bit of a commute. Then I asked if he would be open to taking my son back to his place, getting him, getting him fed, giving him a bath and putting him to bed. I'll personally pick my son up and take him to my house. I have him for these two weeks anyways.

Our sitter said he could do that but asked about getting paid. I said I'll pay you for whatever hours you worked. He said if I paid him in cash instead of a check then he'll do the overnight thing for an extra $150 cash. I agreed.

I got back to town at 3am and picked my son up at 4am. I texted my ex about sitter. I saw her at our son's swim meet and she admitted to drinking too much at her office party and apologized to our sitter.

She asked me for the $150 for the summer camp reimbursement. I said I applied it to pay the sitter for taking Ryan overnight since you couldn't do it yourself. She said that wasn't fair and we're not squared. I said actually we are. We both paid the same amounts for childcare and camp. That was the agreement. She said that I promised to reimburse her and it was my decision to have the sitter take Ryan overnight and it's my responsibility to his sitter. I told her to kick rocks

My (42F) 16 year old daughter is not my husband's biological daughter.

Her dad decided after I got pregnant that the mom of his child wasn't the woman he wanted to marry and is not in her life.

It was just me and my daughter for the next 7 years until I married my husband. We had 3 kids in quick succession after we got married. They are now 8M, 7F, and 5F. I recently found out I was pregnant, and that has made my marriage worse.

My daughter's dad first lived off of others giving him money to be an equestrian. He later, I found out, started getting hired as a riding instructor/ helped others take care of their horses ( his inconsistent income/ 1099 status was what he used to dodge his financial responsibilities).

I started my daughter on this path as a hobby, but it was clear that she was talented. I would work a second job as a stable aide so that she could afford the lessons, would drive other kids to and from lessons and do other odd jobs to put towards her training expenses until I married my husband and became a SAHM.

My husband was very supportive of her pursuit until she entered high school. We were looking into possible future scholarships ( which I understand are rare) to come out of her competing/ colleges with equestrian programs. My husband started lying about how my daughter did not want to do this, and how he loves her more than me because he understands her better.

He embarrassed me by complaining about the other moms whose kids competed saying they were snobs, or that he didn't want me to try to fit in with them or get their approval. Then he'd complain to parents about the new group lesson costs etc.

I found out I was pregnant and went with my daughter to an event, and got too sick and tired to attend a school open house and he flipped out on me when he came home. We got into a fight and he told me that this isn't working out. I feel he says that to scare me, but I was not scared of divorce because I'm not going to grovel for his approval, and I'll can make it work without him.

I told him I'll happily grant his divorce. He then says he wants joint custody of all the kids. I told him that legally he has no grounds with my daughter. He says she can still come to his place when he has the other kids, and I remind him she doesn't have a license and I don't owe him any agreement to drive her to his place.

He screams " she is my stepdaughter- I've been her dad!" I told him he cannot just want to divorce his pregnant wife and get the benefits of that ( including my general cooperation with this divorce) and still claim the title of my daughter's stepdad. He can't have his cake and eat it too. Legally I am in the right since he never adopted her.

He does not want to support my 16 yo's goals. With the divorce he's doesn't have the responsibility that being an equestrian's parent entails, all her bills will be coming out of my account, but that means he cannot just continue to enjoy all the benefits of that without any of the responsibility- I don't think that's fair.

I told my daughter that her stepdad wants a divorce because he absolutely hates paying for her lessons, says they are making her into a snob like me and the other moms. She's a people pleaser so she'd say yes to seeing him just to not hurt his feelings. But she has said that if he really hates her because she wants to be an equestrian then she just wants to continue her passion and it seems most conducive to do so where she's living with me and not seeing somebody who actively wants to stop her future dreams.

AITA?

A little context for this post I (33F) have been dating my Partner (34M) casually for 3 years and 8 months. Over the last 8 months we have gotten more serious. He works in IT and as I "Only" work behind a bar in a strip club he seemed to always assume I make much less than him, he'd always say that he never wanted us to discuss money as he didn't want me to feel embarrassed so I never brought it up as I didn't care even if I found it a bit funny despite the fact I own both my car and home while he is renting and paying off his car.

I like him though so I brushed it aside figuring if we ever moved in together then we could talk about our finances and be open about it. Despite him thinking I only work behind the bar, I am actually a Mixologist at a high end Strip Club, so on top of a very generous salary I actually make amazing tips most nights too, i've worked at the same place for 9 years and I love it there.

As things are getting more serious he wanted me to meet his parents and I agreed, yesterday we had dinner with his parents and they clearly didn't approve of me and during the dinner his Mother brought up that she didn't think this was a good idea but if he was insisting on doing this when we got married we'd need to have a prenuptial agreement to protect her son. I was silent waiting for my partner to say anything but he didn't. He just continued to eat and I got annoyed before agreeing with her. I told her I fully agreed that we needed a Prenup as i'd need to protect my assets, this led to some laughs from around the table and I finally asked my boyfriend how much he made, he tried to brush it off before finally revealing he made £25,000 a year and telling me it was fine and not to feel less.

I won't lie I burst into laughter right there at the table not caring that I was being rude and bluntly told him not including my tips I make £43,291 a year they didn't believe me so I began to point out how I go on holiday twice a year, how I own my home and car while he rents and is paying off, how I always bought him nice gifts. I then told him for perhaps the hundredth time that i'm a Mixologist not a Bartender.

The dinner got silent and on the drive to my home he berated me the entire time for embarrassing him, and how could I have not told him I made that much money, that I should have told him from the start. I reminded him that he didn't want us to talk about money and I figured when and if we one day moved in together that we'd talk about our finances then. He kept talking about how I should have just privately told him after the dinner then and not embarrassed him in front of his parents but when I asked him then why he didn't defend me when his mother embarrassed me he had no answer.

I don't know i'm just super annoyed right now and feel done with this, was I wrong to reveal it the way I did?

Me (43M) and my wife (45F) were having some drinks outside the other day and we were having a good time. She said "I wish I brought my cigarettes" and I pulled them out of my pocket, as I had anticipated that she would want to smoke. She said "wow, how did you know?" I said "I can see the future, especially when you're drinking" she said, "can you see our relationships future?" I said "of course" so she asked me "will we still be together or will we be divorced?" I said "probably divorced" and she asked "when?" So I said "I'll probably be tired of Peter's shit in about 4 years and have to bounce"

Peter is my wife's son from a previous marriage. He is 24 years old. Me and my wife have been together for 21 years. I have raised this boy as my own and he has called me "dad" since he was 5. We have a great relationship. Never had the "you're not my real dad!" fight. We are good. However I feel like my wife coddles him and he is "failing to launch" so to speak. He is in Uni, but has never had a job. His social circle is like 5 people that he is constantly online with. He very rarely leaves the house, or his room for that matter. My wife has to remind him to shower everyday. And she has to wake him up everyday. He will not wake up to an alarm. Mainly because he is usually up until 6 or 7 am playing online games. He is not a bad kid. He doesn't drink/smoke/do drugs. He is not an incel. He doesn't listen to Andrew Tate. He's just kind of a nerdy shut it. My wife is happy to have him live at home forever. I am not. I am very worried for him. He can not drive and does not want to learn. He is comfortable in his life and sees no reason to grow. I stress the fact that he is an adult now to my wife many times but he will always be her baby. Honestly It's killing me to watch her enable him. Every time I try to encourage him to get a part time job or get out of the house she tells me off and asks me to leave him alone. I feel like a failure as a parent, but ahe is happy is is staying out of trouble. He could do so much more though. He is very bright. I will say to her, "what if we died tomorrow? What would happen to him, he would have to do a lot of growing up very quickly, maybe we should push him a little bit now" but she won't hear it.

Anyway. She lost her shit on me. "How could you divorce me because of Peter? He will be fine, everyone develops at different speeds, etc." I get it. I know. I think she also feels like we failed him by over providing and she doesn't want to hear it, but guys? I can't sit around forever if this is the trajectory. I pray he snaps out of it, finishes uni (hes now a junior at year 4, he doesn't take a full courseload, yes we are paying everything) gets a job and grows up. But if not? I can't see myself supporting him and her forever. I feel like leaving might actually be good for the both of them? (I contribute 80% to the household finances, she works part time).

Anyway I don't really think it will come to that. I have faith in the kid. I was just 50/50 joking and serious with my 4 year timeline. (4 years is a long time right? The fact that she was upset is upsetting to me. Does she think he'll be doing the exact same stuff 4 years from now?) She thinks I'm an asshole because I'm giving an ultimatum and she doesn't care how long he stays at home.

So. Am I the asshole here?

My husband and I have been talking to his son for a long time about taking him with us to abroad, as we travel every year. My husband and I have been together for 6 years and I have been a normal part of our son's life. Now that our son has been expressing he wants to go with us abroad, my husband's single ex-wife is suggesting she go with us to take our son abroad. For a little back story, every time my husband and I tell her we are going to take our son to a movie, event or some type of show, she buys tickets for the same event a week or two before we take him so that she can take him first. She also made it INCREDIBLY hard for me to meet my son even after a year of my husband and I dating, but introduces her boyfriends to our son within weeks of dating. Now that we want to take our son traveling with us to show him what is out there, she is insisting she must come too. I married my husband and my son. I did not marry his ex-wife. Now my husband is saying I am childish for not wanting to take his single ex-wife on vacation with us, to stay in the same VRBO as us. If it were truly about giving our son the best life we all could, the ex-wife would stay home and trust us to take care of our son. Never, in any of our MANY discussions about traveling with our son, has my husband brought up that we should bring his ex-wife, and now all of a sudden I am the asshole and childish for not wanting to play "full house" with her, since she can't handle not being the first to give an experience to our child.

Edit to add: I refer to him as "our son" because I will never treat him like he is an outsider in my husband and I's family. No child deserves to feel like an "other" or an "outsider." I know I am not his biological mother. He only has one of those. I have never asked him to call me "mom," nor would I. I do however share financial responsibility for him, plan his birthday parties that he spends with us, and do anything and everything I can to give him every bit of attention and love that EVERY child deserves. NO CHILD deserves to feel like a step child, that's why I don't call him my step-child. I'm sorry if that offends anyone.

Many years ago I worked in a locally run store that sold a bit of everything. I was the low paid teenager that carried heavy things to people’s vehicles. While working one day I get called over the radio that a customer needed 12 bags of concrete (80lbs each). I was expecting to see a pickup truck or something similar backed up to our loading area. Instead I saw a small Honda Civic there waiting for me. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked the driver to relocate momentarily as I had someone coming to pick up multiple bags of concrete. Imagine my surprise when they told me they were the customer I was waiting for.

I asked the customer how much they wanted to take in each trip, as I believed the nearly 1000lb of concrete might be too much for such a small vehicle to handle safely. The customer became aggravated and insisted that they were taking it all at once. I quickly ran this past the store owner to make sure I wouldn’t be held liable for any damages. I ran back, apologized to the customer, and began loading the bags. As I loaded everything up the customer made several quips about how “the customer is always right” and that I was too young and naive to understand that vehicles are engineered with a margin of safety.

It quickly became apparent that there was no play left in the suspension, but at this point I just stopped questioning things. I couldn’t fit all of the bags in the trunk, so the customer cleared their back seat and I loaded that up as well. Upon leaving the loading area you could clearly hear things rubbing. As the car went to exit the parking lot it passed over the elevation change between the lot and the road, there was a loud pop of something breaking, followed by scraping.

I could see that the driver was irate in the car. After a moment they got out, looked around and under their car. The guy sheepishly asked for my cell phone, because his had died and he needed to make a few phone calls. A short time later a tow truck came to remove the car, and the guy waited in our lot for nearly an hour until his wife could come pick him up.

I made a post 3 months ago but it was removed before I deleted my account. It has been cross-posted literally everywhere that I think you guys will have no problem finding it if you are interested.

After I made my first post, I decided to officially ask for divorce. She did not take it well. She cried and refused to eat food for two days until I filled the house with candy bars. She hasnt pulled that kind of stunt after that thankfully.

For past 3 months I have to endure her crying, begging me to change my mind. She promised to never make a "go bag" again. Honestly the previous post has been eye opening to me. People here called me an abuser when I never did anything to abusive. I read every comment posted here, on other subreddits, and it seems like people will call me abuser no matter what. Some people even made up stories to paint me in bad light.

It seems that general sentiment is that its okay to mistrust men because statistics and if he complains about it, he is potentially an abuser. Why is it wrong to want to be trusted by your own wife? If I made her get rid of her "go bag", I am as good as an abuser in all of your eyes. It seems like I will be painted as an abuser unless proven otherwise. I just dont know how to prove a negative, its not like I can wear a camera all the time.

Initially my feelings were very hurt but now I am realizing the gravity of situation I am in. I just cant risk my future on a wife who does not trust me because her mere act of making a go bag was used by people here to paint me as an abuser. They said that she must have reason to make a "go bag".

How was it my fault that she read some blogs and decided to do it. I never did anything and yet people are just gonna accuse me even if I didnt do anything. You guys dont care what the truth is so what am I even supposed to do? My only choice is to leave.

I have finally moved out yesterday and I am pushing forward with divorce. I would like things to be amicable but my wife is still hellbent on stopping the divorce so that is a pipe dream for now. I am hoping when divorce becomes real, she will accept the reality.

Yes, we are all aware the lottery has terrible odds, that even if you bought a ticket every day of your life, you’ll still be unlikely to win more than a few dollars from any one ticket. If playing the lottery was an investment strategy, you’d have a point.

But that’s not WHY people (especially poor people) play the lottery, they don’t expect to win. But it gives them HOPE. Hope that they can quit the job that’s killing them, spend time with their family that misses them, and provide a better life for the children that depend on them. We KNOW the odds are bullshit, but having a snowballs chance in hell is far better than having no hope for the future at all. That’s why the poorer the person is, the more likely they are to play, because they know that there is no way out for them, that things aren’t going to get better, but at least if they have that ticket they can at least DREAM of the life they want.

Talking about what you’d do if you won is half the fun anyways, and more than worth the $4 that definitely wasn’t going to make a difference if they saved it or not.

EDIT: Because I’m tired of repeating myself, here’s my counter points to a few arguments I’m seeing constantly.

“They’d be smart to invest it.”

$4 a week into an investment account is going to do Jack fucking shit, and that’s the kind of money we’re talking about here, not addicts who spend $100s. In 30 years it’ll be $18,000? So your suggestion is poor people have zero fun, invest it all, and get an amount in 30 years that won’t put their kid through a single year of college?

You’re advertising that you’ve never struggled or have any clue what it’s like to ACTUALLY be poor. You’re privileged, and quite frankly classist.

Here’s the best comment I’ve read so far.

“People are getting addicted! They spend way more than that!”

Google it, 1% of gamblers are addicts. You remember them because they by definition gamble more frequently and buy larger, more noticeable amounts. Being more memorable does not change statistics. We are talking about the 99% who play in moderation.

“Hope will just take away their motivation to better themselves!”

Again, tell me you’ve never been poor without actually saying it. There is PLENTY of motivation not to be poor, you think we don’t realize how much better life is with money? Poor people work more hours on average than rich people, and more demanding jobs, for less pay. If it was work ethic that mattered, poor people would be millionaires.

Ps. Taking away all hope or enjoyment doesn’t lead to motivation, it leads to mental health issues and suicide. You’d know that if you’d ever actually been poor.

“It’ll just ruin their lives if they win anyways!”

That’s a myth.

“Poor people shouldn’t have fun!” (Or something to that effect)

Living a joyless life focused on nothing but improving your position leads to mental health issues, which will set you back farther than if you let yourself have a little fun every now and then, or suicide.

Important distinction. There is a difference between saying “this is a stupid thing to do” and “this person is stupid because they do this”. For instance, eating fast food is objectively stupid. There are better, healthier alternatives you could be having, and you know that. It’s just that you also recognize that sometimes, doing the stupid/unhealthy thing is far more satisfying, and we all deserve to enjoy ourselves every now and then even if it’s not the best choice to be making. That’s a smart (or at least average) person doing something stupid for the fun of it, and we all do that in one area or another.

Saying someone is stupid for doing something implies they are genuinely less intelligent than the average person overall, and that’s why they are doing what they are doing. If you think drinking a Diet Coke somehow makes the fast food you are eating HEALTHY, then THAT person is being stupid. Playing the lottery for fun? A stupid activity a normal person might do for fun. Buying a ton of tickets because “if I buy x many, I can’t lose!” Is the PERSON being stupid as well as the idea.

My wife (25f) and I (26m) welcomed our son Callum into the world just over a week ago. I had expected our son's name wouldn't be a favorite among my family but I had believed and hoped they would just love us enough to accept that the name isn't one of the more vintage/old timey names my family loves. But they expressed their dislike for the name immediately and were asked to leave by me because my wife was in recovery and didn't need to deal with their bullshit. They called me up the next day and asked why we had gone so different from the rest of the family. I told them we went with a name we both loved and felt would work for our son his entire life.

My family told me Callum is not the kind of name a person should wear into adulthood. That it ages terribly because it sounds like a little boys name. I told them Callum is a well established and long used name, just not in the way they like for names to be. They told me Callum does not compare to the names my nieces and nephews have or that my siblings have, I used to have another name and changed it at 18.

So before I get too carried away I should say that the types of names my family like are; Reginald, Harold, Desmond, Bartholomew, Maximilian, Clarence and my old name Herbert. Girls names are the same old school style. My family loves that. I'm good with that. I wasn't good with my old name and changed it and I didn't want a name for my son that "fit" with them.

I told my family as they were complaining to me that we had decided and the name was not changing so they should adjust to it. They were quiet for a day and then they got back in touch to say they could not bring themselves to accept this and that I should really consider why they love the names they do. They said I damned myself when I changed my name, which is now Jamie, but I shouldn't do that to my son. When I didn't budge they declared they would talk to my wife. I told them no way in hell are they bothering my wife with their crap when she's newly PP. We got into a fight and I told them to stop calling if they couldn't let it go.

They showed up yesterday to see our son again and I wasn't going to let them inside but my wife, who knows what's been going on, thought maybe seeing Cal again would calm them down. It didn't. They started on the name shit again and they did attempt to go through my wife which is when I may have stepped over the line. I told them to shut up and get over themselves about the name because my wife and I love it and we're not changing it for them and they need to accept I never wanted my son or any kids I'd have to have names they like. I told them they knew that from the time I went to the effort and cost to change my own name. And I told them they had gone too far trying to pester my wife after being warned not to.

They said I didn't need to be so rude to get my point across and I believe I did. But I'm also doubting if I went too far.

AITA?

Last night I was on a date with a guy, we went out to eat. Things were going fine and we were doing typical small talk and after a short pause, he said “you know, you’re usually not what I would go for but I’m really enjoying myself with you right now”. That statement rubbed me the wrong way so I asked “what do you mean?” And then he said I’m “a lot chunkier than he typically likes them”….my thing is, if I’m not your type, why are you even entertaining a date with me?

Then as the conversation went on and I mentioned my love for art and how I would love to be able to do it full time in the future, he said “I think art is a useless line of work. Think about it, do we really need artists? But i do hope you achieve your dreams though” and at that point, i said this isn’t going to work out and that I don’t want to date someone who subtly insults me and my interests under the guise of a “joke”. He said he didn’t think id react to it this badly and that he’s sorry if i felt offended. I asked for the check, requested my food to go, said goodnight, left and blocked him completely. Am I being too sensitive here?

This happened a couple of months ago, but my bf still thinks it's funny, so maybe you will too. So, I (37F) had an interview for a job I really wanted. I was tired of my low paying job that wasn't going anywhere. I passed the interview and was offered the job...if I passed the drug test. I live in the Midwest U.S.A. and my town has many dispensries, so I figured there wouldn't be a test. It had been a week since I'd indulged, so I set up my appointment for a week from that day and when I hung up the phone I said, "F$#@!" My bf, 42M, said, "Don't worry! We'll call my Dad!" We do. He suggested a cleanse. Here comes the F.U. They were sold out of the cleanse bf's Dad suggested so I chose another... When I tell you that I crapped out everything... I mean EVERYTHING! Remember, I was still working my previous job. I'd take the cleanse in the morning, crap everything I'd eaten my entire life and go to work. This went on for a FULL WEEK. The day of the test comes. It's a mouth swab...🤦Good news is I passed! TL;DR: I crapped my brains out for nothing

Child was crying. Been stuck in the playroom all day, only time they’re satisfied is when I play on the floor with them or read books, no interest in engaging with their toys or playing independently. In my experience this is pretty much always because they’re bored - they want to go play outside or go run some errand for a change of scenery.

We have two kids but only one is home this weekend, so we’re two parents to one kid. Easy mode. Kid is crying almost exclusively at me (mom) and because I’m very often the one to cave and do some thing to make them happy, I ask their dad to take them outside. I want to make it clear, I very frequently play with kid outside and take them to library. But I’m not alone today, there are two of us and I think it’s valid that he do it.

He’s already suggested that I take kid for a walk, after I have already been the primary parent most of the afternoon. Personally feel frustrated that he’s happy for me to spend my day entertaining kid while he watches tv.

But here’s the real zinger - he finally agrees to “drive around” with kid and tells me he’s doing ME a favor. Not that he’s spending time with his kid, taking them out of the house so they’re not miserable, meeting his kids needs (also known as parenting). No, not any of that. He’s doing me a favor because I’m the one that doesn’t want to listen to kid cry all afternoon. Like as if the kid isn’t a human that’s upset and needs an adult.

I realize this all is very petty but I just can’t wrap my mind around how this is somehow him helping me. As if the kid is an extension of me and not their own person (that he is a parent of). Sometimes I feel like I’ve gotta be living in an alternate universe with this kind of logic, like he makes zero sense to me. I’ve joked before that I wanted to make an AITA post to get some third party opinions on these disagreements we have and so here I am.

AITA for asking my husband to take our child out of the house for a bit while they were upset, and thinking that it’s him caring for his kid rather than appeasing me??

Every Saturday for the past 10 years and my boys go out for Saturday breakfast. We alternate on who picks what restaurant to go to. This morning my 10yo said he wanted to go to iHop. I told my 16yo, 13yo and 7yo that we'd be leaving in 10 minutes.

Everyone but my 13yo was ready to go. I called him downstairs and he came out with a blanket and said he didn't want to go. I said okay. Bye. He then said that he wanted rutti tutti pancakes, eggs, bacon and two orange juices. I said then put clothes on and get in the car. He said "I'm not going." I said I'm not your UberEats. If you don't want to go then fine but I'm not bringing you food back. The point is to have us guys sit together and talk turkey.

He said that wasn't fair and it was just one time. I said "bye" and started to leave. He came running down the street to get in the car. I should had left him because he was in a mood the whole morning.

I live with my partner and one thing I've started noticing is she will regularly suggest days out or dates or trips away etc and then if we plan it out, she'll complain about actually being short of money so she doesn't think she can afford to go. She'll expect me to offer to pay for most things while we go away.
A couple of times doesn't bother me but it's starting to become more frequent.

An example is that this week we had a nice restautant booked to go to thne my gf decides to but some new clothes and furniture. Once she bought that she then said she can't afford the meal so I'd either have to pay or we'd have to cancel.

Anexample of this is next month I am getting a pay rise at work so I decided to take a month to treat myself instead of saving any money. I planned to take my gf out for a nice meal and we are going on a double date with my friend and his girlfriend in a nearby city.

I have paid the hotel and travel costs and told my gf I'll be getting our meal when we're there so all she'll need is money for drinks. She said this was fine.

Now she's saying she thinks I'll need to pay for the full night since she's seeing friends next month and has other things to pay for. I told her no and her response was just that we'll have to cancel the night then.

She's also started mentioning the amount of money I'm planning to spend next month and keeps asking if I'm going to get her a treat or a present etc. I point out that I am taking her for a meal and a night away and she just changes the subject.

Another example is that this week we had a nice restautant booked to go to thne my gf decides to but some new clothes and furniture. Once she bought that she then said she can't afford the meal so I'd either have to pay or we'd have to cancel.

She got angry and told me I was having a go at her for nothing and that i was wrong with what I was accusing her of. She said it's just a coincidence and that I'm out of order for accusing her.

AITAH for refusing to pay for the full night and for pointing out a pattern?

My SIL Lisa(22F), told me(27F) and my wife Sara(25F) that she was pregnant yesterday. Apparently she's "6 weeks " along. I left the room when she said she was having a baby, and Sara was saying congratulations in a neutral way. She was not screaming or crying or acting overly excited, which caused the conversation to be awkward. Now we're seeing them for mother's day, which at first they weren't coming to, but now they are, and I know they're gonna make it all about themselves. Lisa has not seen my reaction towards her having a baby, but on Sunday, I will not act excited or happy for her.

Now, some back story. Last year, Lisa annouced she was pregnant at 4 weeks. She has a history of having irregular periods and her husband Dan (25M) wants SEVEN children. However, Lisa thought she had a "miscarriage", it was just her period, and began to tell everyone that she had a miscarriage. She went to the doctor and the doctors tested her for a pregnancy hormone that is made by the body when a woman is pregnant. Test results came back and her doctor told her she was never pregnant. Lisa does not know that Sara and I know because my MIL told us. However, lisa uses that "miscarriage" as ammo for manipulating people. Lisa and her husband Dan have been nothing but horrible to me and Sara.

Lisa and Dan are extremely Christian. Not to mention they are homophobic and racist. Sara and I got married 2 years ago, and Lisa refused to come to Sara's wedding. Her and Dan's reasoning was "well because the Bible says that being gay is a sin, we just can't bring ourselves to be in the presence of a gay marriage happening. It just goes against what we believe in." They also told us to our face during a heated conversation earlier this year that they do not think Sara and I should be married. As soon as they said that to our faces, I was lost all respect for then. During that same conversation, Lisa tried to manipulate everyone into feeling sorry for her and trying to "win" the conversation by screaming that she had lost her baby last year. As previously mention before, tests confirmed she was never pregnant.

But with her being just an overall horrible person who doesn't give a damn about me and Sara, I just feel like I am obligated to feel excited for Lisa being "pregnant" because my MIL has begged for everyone ti be nice to each other. However, Lisa's done nothing but lie, manipulate and be hostile towards us. She will snap and yell at you if she doesn't get the reaction she wants. I am just afraid of causing some hostility or an argument on mother's day. But I can't in good conscience act happy for people who have treated me, Sara and her family so horribly. Plus, I they lost all of my respect when they told Sara and I that they don't think we should be married. Anyways, WIBTA if I don't act happy and excited for Lisa and Dan being pregnant?

Here’s my , for who’s interested. (And .

Hi!

It’s been a wee bit, and since I’m still getting messages about this, I thought I’d just give one big update for this.

So more than a month ago I broke up with my BF because he kept pulling ‘pranks’ involving my face blindness. (I can’t recognise faces & am dependent on other aspects to recognise someone, and even then it’s still confusing.)

After that he’d been bugging me that he wanted to meet up, so we could get some closure. My gut was telling me not to, but I felt guilty.

With you guys’ advice (& my own gut feeling) in mind, I decided not to go. I asked a friend, R., to go bring him his stuff & kept him blocked - including blocking the new accounts he’d made.

R. came back with a letter from him, to me. The letter in itself was v apologetic. He even said he was grateful for our time together & took full responsibility. It ended with him saying he’d respect it if I chose not to reply or message. Honestly, a lot of very respectful words.

I still decided not to get in touch. (Still trying to get over the break-up myself.) But I did appreciate it, till I found out he wasn’t letting go like he said.

R. & some other mutual friends let me know he was asking them about me A LOT, if I had read the letter, if I was seeing someone else (already?!), and so on.

Couple of days ago he showed up at my place. He was clearly not sober & v upset. He just seemed so broken, so I - stupidly - let him in.

For a while he was just being miserably nice, while I got him water & stuff. But the more sober, the more angry he got.

At that point I messaged basically everyone I knew to come. I didn’t think he’d hurt me, but I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with him regardless.

Among the many accusations of me not even having the decency to reply, that I clearly never cared about him & that I was a horrendous person, he told me ‘I cheated on him & didn’t even know it’ so how could I blame him for not trusting me?

I’m not gonna lie, I was trying to stay calm but failed. (And I know I should have not lost my cool.) I screamed at him, asked him what he was talking about.

Apparently on a night out with him & others, he asked his friend M. (who knows of my face blindness & has similar characteristics as my ex, part from a v different voice & smell) to ‘swap’ out with him, and kissed me. And I didn’t know.

I don’t know if he’s lying or not. But knowing I was drinking & in a crowded, loud room, I know it’s a possibility. Especially since M. tried to kiss me another time, though then I immediately realised it was him & lost my shit at him. (When I told my then bf, he was more angry than I had ever seen him, so idk if that time was a ‘plan’ as well or not. Either way M. is a disgusting human.)

I know it’s ‘just’ a kiss, but it did make me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about how they might have played me.

I told him to get out, he didn’t. Luckily it didn’t take long for some people to arrive & get him out. I’m endlessly grateful for the people I have around me.

I’m staying at my parents’ place now, took a break from work & am looking into therapy. My mom & dad (who got a tattoo years ago just so I would never doubt it’s him) are treating me like a princess & reminding me of the kindness people deserve.

Haven’t looked into a restraining order, but might if it continues.

Thanks to you all for helping me see what’s right in this situation. Reddit has been a wonderful community I am very grateful for. I probably won’t update anymore, as this is over & done with. But I’m glad I got to pour my heart out to y’all.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) have been dating for about a month and things have been going pretty great until this incident. I like watching surgeries sometimes just because I find them really interesting. Well, today when I was over at my boyfriend's house I was watching random surgery videos and a vasectomy popped up so l clicked on it to see what it entailed because I've heard that it wasn't too bad of a procedure.

In the middle of watching the video, my boyfriend came into the room and asked me what I was watching and I told him that I was watching a vasectomy. He looked at me like wtf and said that I was a bitch for looking at another man's balls. And I told him that it was literally just a medical procedure. He got really pissed at that and started yelling at me and saying that I was a cheating whore and demanded to look through my phone to see if I was messaging other men.

I've been faithful in this relationship and I would never think of cheating on my boyfriend, and it hurt that he was accusing me of that. We argued for a bit before he left to take a drive to blow off some steam. I'm still over at his place right now and I'm currently alone on his bed crying my eyes out. I texted another friend about this situation and she said that I was an asshole for not asking him first before I watched the video.

I don't want to lose him over something like this I really think that I did nothing wrong by simply watching a medical procedure.

TLDR: Bf is mad at me for watching a vasectomy and is accusing me of cheating because I was looking at another man's balls. I don't think I did anything wrong because it was just a surgery.

Buckle up, this is a long story. Throwaway because obviously.

Anyway, my family has a tradition, where the oldest daughters are named Maria. As the family has grown and branched out with time, fewer people have followed the tradition, but a lot of people still do. There’s a lot of pressure for Maria’s to name their eldest daughter Maria as well. My mom is a Maria, and she named my older sister as per the tradition. Sadly, my sister tragically passed away when she was six and I was four. Not six months after my sister was in the ground, they legally changed my first name to Maria.

As you can imagine, I was absolutely shellshocked. My little mind couldn’t comprehend that *I* was now Maria, to me, that was my big sister. I was so confused. The rest of the family was horrified over what my parents did, and some of them cut my parents out, and by extension me and my siblings. The rest who didn’t shun us were cold to me. I don’t think it was ever on purpose, they just didn’t know how to deal with me.

When I went to school, I tried to get people to call me my original name (which was my new middle name), but my parents would call the school and pitch a fit until my teachers forced everyone to call me Maria. By the time I hit middle school, I’d given up on getting my name back.

Meanwhile, I grew to resent and hate my parents more than anything. I hated them for ruining my relationships with the extended family, I hated them for stealing my name. I’m a very spiteful person anyway, and this was one grudge I felt one hundred percent justified in holding. Yes, I am in therapy, and it’s helped me stop fixating on my anger towards my parents, but for a while there my only thoughts were about how I hated my parents and wanted to make them suffer. I’d fantasize about them dying in various horrible ways, and these fantasies always ended with me going to live with one specific auntie, who I was sure would help me get my real name back.

Needless to say, I went NC as soon as I turned eighteen. The other thing I did when I turned eighteen was file for legal name change. It was a frustratingly long and convoluted process, but I was able to get my name changed. I kept Maria as my middle name, in honor of my sister, whose memory was tarnished in all this bullshit. For the first time in a long time, I was able to not get angry when my name was used. I’m now twenty four and pregnant with my daughter. I will not be naming her Maria, obviously.

I’ve been rebuilding the connection with the rest of my extended family, and I guess news of my pregnancy and choice of baby name made it back to my parents, who recently called my up to “catch up”. In reality, they were trying to convince me to name my daughter Maria. “After your sister”, is how they framed it, but I think they just want their stupid tradition to continue, for some reason. I just kinda snapped, and screamed at them. I let out every bit of pent up anger and hatred I have for them. At some point, they hung up, but I honestly couldn’t tell you when, I was ranting and didn’t stop until I was good and done.

My family members, who I’m pretty sure heard my parents side of the story first, are now mad at me for making my parents cry,  and for escalating what had been a calm conversation. I don’t think or feel like I’m in the wrong, but my grandmother, who I really respect, says she’s disappointed in me, and the rest of my relatives have expressed similar sentiments, which has me wondering if I might be in the wrong here.