I Just need to vent
I 24F have been living with my 25M now ex boyfriend for about 8 months now. I have a teddy bear that my grandmother gave to me when I was younger. It has no monetary alum but the sentimental value is more important. When I was 8 she gave it to my while she was struggling with cancer. It was stage 4 and spread quickly and there was nothing they could do. She gave me a teddy bear and told me to take care of it and I could talk to the teddy bear whenever I missed her. She got one of those talking mics put in it and it would say “I hope you’re feeling loved today because I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the fish in the sea and you mean the world to me” she would say that all time when I would spend the night.
He knows how much it means to me. I told him. He’s seen me hugging the bear and sitting outside to talk to my grandma when I was sad or Just needed to vent without Judgement or even a response. 2 days ago he decided that it was “raggedy” and “not appealing to look at” I can admit, bear bear has been through it. I carried it around with me everywhere for 2 years. He would go in my book bag when I went to school, went to dance class with me, he even went out of town when I had cheer meets when I got into high school. My cousin pulled out one of his eyes when I was 10 and he’s missing an arm when my brother got mad at me and cut it off. It was sewn back on and then ripped off again. You get it. But he was mine.
I found a button that was exactly like his from some bear at a Good Will and was going to sew it in his eye. I went to my room (we have separate bedrooms, I can decorate my space how I want and have my work space and the same for him but we always sleep together, I Just never had my own room and have only been living alone for 2 years so I want to keep that for a while) I went in there to do it and he wasn’t on my bed. I went scouring for him for hours and he watched me. I started to cry because that was the last thing she gave me and she made special for me. He finally told me he threw it away because it was disgusting and he hated coming in my room and seeing it. I got so mad and I felt so betrayed.
He likes to spend time on legos and building them. He’s built the Eiffel Tower, the Harry Potter tower, a cherry blossom tree, and dozens of other. I went to his room and I destroyed them all. I threw the pieces around the room and out the window and in the garbage. He came in screaming at me and saying how dare I touch his things he bought with his money and he spent hours on it. I told him he can gtfo and spend hours rebuilding it some place else because I’m done with him. He started telling me I was overreacting and whatever else. I forget a lot of the argument because I was pissed. I told him he had 1 week to get his things out and move out but he wasn’t staying here while it happened. He started telling me that I couldn’t do that and he paid bills. I told him I really don’t give a shit and to get out or I’d call the police.
We have mutual friends and he’s told them a completely different story because 2 have texted me asking “how could I do that to him” and I really don’t care to clear it up. In the moment I didn’t feel bad but now I kind of do because that’s his hobby but I was so hurt and betrayed by what he did. He’s even called me a few times saying he’ll get me another and we can work on things and don’t throw away 3 years over a mistake but I am completely disgusted by him.
UPDATE: I want to say thank you to all the people who told me not to give up on finding my bear because I went out in that dumpster for 3 hours with my sister, my best friend, and even a neighbor came down to help when I told him what happened. And I fucking found it. I am so relieved and beyond happy. Also I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE. He’s lucky that’s all I did and I didn’t sue him for it. Anyway, I found it, he’s air drying, I’m going to sew the button in over the weekend, my dad and brother will be here while he comes to get his stuff and that’s that. I’m free of someone who doesn’t respect my space or how I feel. Oh and I didn’t come here to ask if I was an AH. I don’t care if I was lol. Now that I found my bear I really don’t care and can’t wait to have my apartment to myself again. Oh one more thing I did tell our mutual friends what he did, I took a picture of all of us digging through the trash to find my bear, I took a picture of the bear and the state he was in after I found him and told them “thank you for taking his side and not even trying to figure out the full situation. He threw away my property so I took away his hobby” I also sent the texts of him begging me to take him back and admitted what he did. How he watched me cry for hours while I looked for it knowing he threw it out. He watched me be distressed and didn’t care. Those friends have texted me saying he said I cheated on him and when he didn’t take me back I went “crazy”