TLDR:
This recap is really long, so here’s a brief summary :
Clayton really seems to double down on his actions and defend himself/view himself as the victim in his situation. He basically says it was all worth it because he achieved his goal of finding a woman he loves.
Something new he shares is that he’s shocked that G&R cared more about the love with multiple women than the sex (I put asterisks next to this part down below).
RECAP:
Clayton used to go to a church in Columbia, MO for ten years called The Crossing. It is the same church that the podcast host, Keith, is a pastor at.
Clayton says people are upset with him because “I came across to some viewers that I lacked empathy” and was “rude” when dealing with Rachel and Gabby
When asked if he loves all three, he reiterates the following “I believed I was falling in love with Gabby and Rachel. But I had only fallen in love with Susie.” He told them he loved them during FS week because he was worried they would put walls up if they didn’t know where he stood.
Says he hit the lowest of low points in his entire life a “couple weeks ago” when he “knew where the ending was heading.” He got thousands of hate messages telling him to kill himself and other expletives. He dealt with it with support from his family and Susie, who he said he has spent 100 hours on the phone with.
Clayton admits that some actions he took on the show were not Christian-like. Says he prayed after the show that he’s going to take criticism but he is going to come out of it all a better person, and that this is all meant to happen for a reason.
Podcast host says there has been a Christian vibe on the show lately (Matt James opening with a prayer, Hannah B). But Clayton said faith was not brought up in conversation much on his season. However, he prayed every night while filming. He thinks that leads have to rely on their faith because they lack other sources of support while filming.
Clayton grew up Lutheran and switched to being non-denominational in college. He says being Christian to him means being patient, treating people with respect, and trying to be understanding/not judgmental of others.
He went on the show (Michelle’s season) because after turning 28, he had a quarter life crisis and realized he was complacent and going through the motions. He didn’t want to be in Columbia in his sales job for the rest of his life. The show reached out to him and figured it would be a good opportunity. Even if things didn’t work out with Michelle, he could be “spotted” by someone who watched the show and was interested in him.
He knew going in he would probably be “engaging in premarital sex on the show.” He says the way he is wired, he would rather know what the sexual chemistry is like with someone before getting married. The podcast host pushed back — he says Jesus is trying to keep him from causing hurt and pain to other people (in his “commands about sex”) and that by having sex, he hurt all three women.
** Most interesting segment IMO** Clayton says that he has “since heard” that 2/3 women (aka Rachel and Gabby) were ok with him having sex with multiple women, but they weren’t ok with him being in love with all 3. Clayton was surprised by this, saying “you were ok with me being physical but not having any emotional connection? like that to me seems like we’re just having sex to have sex if there’s no emotional connection. that seems to be a bigger red flag for me.” He is surprised that a woman would want to get engaged to him if he was having “mindless sex” with someone else. (This part annoyed me, it comes across like he is shaming G&R for being ok with casual sex)
Clayton defends his line from F3RC that “Whoever I love the most, will be the person I end up with.” He says this is ultimately what it comes down to: whoever you think of first when you wake up and last before you fall asleep is who you love the most.
Podcast host pushes back on Clayton’s definition of love. He is married and says Clayton isn’t, so he doesn’t know if Clayton is labeling love the right way because love is about sacrifice and commitment. Clayton agrees and says his love is evolving for Susie every day as they make sacrifices and support each other.
Podcast host calls out Clayton for using the excuse that “I was just following my heart.” He says “Do you follow your heart or Jesus?” Clayton says they are intertwined and says that by saying that, he means that everything happens for a reason. He talks about how when Susie left, he had an intuition (which could be his faith/Jesus) that he should try to win her back even though his family disagreed.
Host asks Clayton if he would want his son or daughter to be on The Bachelor. Clayton says it would be a long conversation. He wouldn’t flat out say no, but he would hesitate to say yes because of the risks of having the world judge your every move. He says his parents aren’t happy with how he has been portrayed and that his mom is taking it particularly hard.
Clayton compares the bachelor to football (dangers in both) and the host is savage in response. He says football has physical injuries like a broken bone that will heal, but the bachelor does damage to your character and your soul. 💀😵!! Clayton says he has wondered if he is permanently damaged from the show. He is emotionally damaged and is still hurt by the criticism, but he has hope that he can turn it all into a positive. He reminds himself that it’s all worth it if his relationship with Susie works out till the end of time. He got what he was looking for.