Brendan Schaub

Hey cats, Bruce SpringSpring here. My Messican and I got free tickets to see Brandon tonight at the Tampa Improv. Here is our story.

We arrived about 50 minutes before show time and were taken to a table right next to the stage. There was only about ten other people in the showroom at the time. I was pretty surprised we were going to be so close, about 12 feet away, from Missa Shob. We ordered some sodas and food and just got cozy while we waited for the show to start. Meanwhile I was taking stock of the room and the sort of people that attend a Missa Shob show in earnest. I overheard conversations about TFATK, Callen, Theo, and other ThigggBoy related stuff. Couldn't much in detail, but as more people showed up, it was clear we were somewhat out of place among Shob's actual fanbase--mostly meathead looking dudes with spiked hair and tight black t-shirts accompanied by other similar looking men or overly made up women wearing lots of jewelry and leather. Anyway, I'm not gonna judge them. I'm sure they're all nice people and they just wanted to have a nice Friday evening.

Missa Shob's opener was some dude named Justin. I didn't catch his last name. He's an LA comic, an up and comer. He was actually pretty decent and got a few chuckles out of me. He did maybe 20 minutes at the most and then he brought up Missa Shob. No feature act in the middle slot. Just an opener and then Shob.

Missa Shob takes the stage and his first bit is about Florida, DeSantis, and COVID. I'm sure I don't even have to go into detail about what he said, just use your imagination because it was just shit he's been saying for years now. Then he talked shit about California and how it's "North Korea with a beach." Which is great because I thought North Korea was North Korea with a beach. Anyway, this is the bit where the main theme of the night, "Being Ga*," started to reveal itself. Seriously, every single bit had stuff about being ga*, thinking a dude was hot, mistaking a person from the back with a fat ass as a hot girl that turned about to be a dude, dick sizes, black dick sizes, asian dick sizes, tall men's dicks in his face, sucking dicks, pantomiming sucking a dick with an "alalalalalala" mouth and tongue gesture, using the microphone as a dick all over his face, body, and ass, taking dick pics, looking at his friends dick pics, having a special room in his house as a dick pic taking studio complete with green screen, using current events as themes for his dick pics, the list goes on and on about dicks. I already knew this about him, but goddamn it was a lot of dick talk. If we made a pie chart of the set, it would easily be 70 percent dicks.

Aside from talking about dicks and being attracted to men, Missa Shob did about 15 mintues on OJ Simpson and several bits about how much he hates his kids and how the Messican bangs on watermelons in order to "hear the sweetness, papi." He had another bit about a horse farm and something else about going to Mexico.

Overall it was....weird? The room was decently packed, it definitely wasn't empty looking. And he got a fair amount of laughs from the genuine Thigggies. Some of the dudes in the tight t-shirts were laughing pretty hard at times. But Shob has a strange energy about him. He was dressed very Schaub-like, but not overly flamboyant. He wasn't nervous, but he doesn't really own the room either. A lot of his comedic energy felt very "lifted." I could hear a lot of Sebastian in his vocal cadence. He looked pretty rough and tired. And he was smaller than I expected. His speech was surprisingly pretty good. He also had a very effeminate way about him, but like he was trying to not be too effeminate? I don't know man. My Messican remarked on the way home, "If I didn't know who he was, I would have just thought we were watching a ga* man."

Well that's about it lol. Oh! On the way out we saw Jay working the merch table outside. Didn't get to Axe him anything though. Here's a pic of Bapa I snapped right after he finished and we stood up to leave. Notice the giant whisgee glass in his hand lol.