I'm 4 months off from turning 30. The pandemic did a lot of damage to me including ending a long-term, sexless relationship, losing social skills, hurting my career, gaining more weight even though I was already pretty overweight. Post-pandemic, life started getting better & I'm at the age where people are starting to settle down. I just came back from a friend's wedding where I irish exited most events to go back to my hotel room and outside some small talk, didn't really meet new people. That being said, I've been already taking steps to making my life better these past year but I need to kick it into another level. I'm just looking for every & any practical advice of what you find attractive in a guy just so I can be a better person (potentially return to who I was before)
The good:
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I have a stable career, got laid off twice from my tech jobs but am very financially responsible & literate and will go back to making good money once economy starts improving. Live on my own.
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Very funny. I am pretty cautious about what jokes I can say but have attracted many girls who say sense of humor is my best trait
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Good EQ. Have done my therapy, don't really have baggage or toxic traits. Every always comments on my kindness & going the extra mile.
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Have a "personality" - I actually do a lot of different things (travel, make music, photography, streetwear, recently stream on twitch, watch soccer & other sports)
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Experience in relationships. I have had a long term relationships, I've also dated women who I think are 10/10 and I think people could be surprised on how I attracted them.
The bad:
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Confidence when it comes to women. I may have asked girls in the past if I could buy them a drink at a club but have never cold approached a woman anywhere (at least as what I can remember)
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Shyness / socially stunted. I was a very life of the party person in the past, my birthdays would be 10-15 different friend groups coming together, things changed post pandemic. Have a hard time socializing around new people, I realized I didn't even introduce myself (hi, my name is...) to anyone at the wedding
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Feel physically bad. Get rejected based on race sometimes, based on physical appearance (I have wide shoulders, 5'10 but def overweight. I go to the gym regularly now and people have been commenting on my weight loss), have been losing my hair for 10 years now, not bald but thin hair, etc. I look at myself in the mirror or in pictures and kind of am disgusted by myself.
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Chip on my shoulder when it comes to my dry spell. In college I was regularly hooking up with people off tinder, started a relationship with my college sweetheart but she said she wanted to wait till marriage (together almost 4 years), post pandemic I haven't really done much beside a few times (never sex though). I thought about hiring a SW just to get it out of my head.
