My husband and I have a daughter who is 13. I was molested from the time I was 12, up until he accidentally got me pregnant at 15, and I went to live with my aunt, by my own father. I have a lot of unresolved trauma, but because of this trauma I was very ontop of changing daughter, my husband rarely changed a diaper, gave her baths, was weary about leaving them alone together even though my husband never gave me a reason too. I stole a lot from my husband, which is when I agreed to finally go to therapy about 9 years ago. I was in it for a few years.

A few days ago, my daughter asked my husband and I if we though she could get some more adult underwear. She said the girls in the locker room were looking at her weird for her childish underwear. I said no, but my husband thought maybe it was time for her to upgrade her wardrobe. This triggered me; and when my daughter left the room, I asked him why he thought that was okay to buy our daughter adult underwear and not to make our decisions on our daughters underwear, don’t tell her she should wear more adult underwear etc.. He got upset and said she was in middle school now, and he didn’t want her to be bullied, and that I couldn’t start this again. He then said I needed to stop thinking of him as this monster because he’s her father and not my dad, and that if these episodes were going to start up again I needed to go back to therapy.

I feel as though, him knowing my trauma, he shouldn’t get so angry and demand me to go back to therapy. I have every right to be cautious.

Aita?