Q&As

I(40f) have a daughter "Caroline" (17f), my brother "Adam" (34m) is married and has 2 kids under the age of 5.

Back when I was in my twenties our great grandmother ended up with an illness which required someone to take care of her. This ended up being me as everyone else was busy with their lives and I have only recently graduated from uni back then. Due to this when she passed away I have inherited the house she lived in, which is a small 2 bedroom. I have lived there until I got married and me and my husband ended up moving to a bigger property. About a year later my brother asked if I'm willing to rent it out to him, which I agreed to do, but have warned him I will need it back when Caroline turns 18 (She was 3 at the time) since it is very close to universities and city center. Legal agreement was drafted for the rent (significantly below market value) so everything was followed by the book.

About a year ago I have informed my brother about needing the house back as my daughter is going to be 18 and I would like to have some repairs done before she moves in. My brother ignored me, so I have issued him notice to vacate, which was also ignored. As he continued to ignore me, I had no choice but apply for a court order to evict them, with hearing taking place last month. Last week him and his family were officially evicted. Upon getting into the house I have noticed it wad in horrible condition and it would take a few months just to make it somewhat habitable, let alone do redecorating or repairs.

I have raised this with my brother since he was meant to look after the house and let me know of any repairs, but this talk ended up in an argument where I was called an asshole for evicting him and his family so my "spoiled" daughter can live by herself and not giving them enough notice (they had just over a year to find something suitable). He also said I have inherited the house by "cheating". My parents are on his side since Adam and his family live with them.

Hi so I’ve been saving to put a down payment down on a house in Brooklyn . If been hard saving and skipping night outs etc but I’ve always wanted to have something in my name so that later in life it will pay off. I never usually tell my family about me making big decisions because in some way they always try to spin it to try to benefit them. I told my mom that I’m excited about a house I saw. It’s in Brooklyn but in the suburb of Brooklyn. The house needs some work: new driveway , paint , I def would redo the kitchen . I’ve always been handy and I can do most of this stuff myself or figure it out. I’ve fixed/ worked on my car by watching videos on YouTube so I would prob do the same with the house. But I wouldn’t mess with the plumbing or electrical work. It is a decent size house has 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms and has a decent sized yard. I told my mom about it and she told my older brother. It’s him his wife and 3 kids they live about an hour and a half north. But he also works in the city like me. He called me and told me how our mother told him about the house . He does work as a electrician and said he could help if I needed . I thought owe wow that’s great. He has his own house up north as well. I’ve been approved for the loan and waiting on paperwork etc.

He just called me today and asked when is he and the kids are moving in because he has to ask off work to move things. I was so confused because I thought he was just messing with me . So I said wait what are you saying? He said that he offered to do electrical work in the house so he and his kids should be able to live there.

I explain to him in what world does he believe doing electrical work equates to him living in a house that Is mine? He started to go on about how having multiple kids is expensive and commuting everyday for work is costly. I simply said that is not my problem you are a adult . I hung up on him. My mom called me screaming saying why am I promising to let my brother stay in the house and now changing my mind. I never promised anything to him and it’s annoying that he is trying to manipulate the situation. I told my mom that he offered to do electrical work and now he is saying he is moving in. I told her he is not moving in and I’ll hire someone else to do the work. She started to tell me they are close to losing their house and need help and that I should because we are family. I asked her why is it that the people who are telling someone else too help, always the ones not offering help. (My mom telling me to help but she not offering for them to stay with her ) I said it’s not going to happen. Majority of my family have been calling me and saying I am disgraceful. It’s so annoying because I don’t want my brother on thes street with his family but what if I never got the house? They would’ve still been in the same predicament .. I refuse to help , it makes me not even want to buy the house .

I have three kids, they are not old enough to be left alone at home. They are 10, 8 and 7. We had a babysitter but she is in college now and can’t do it.

I have a niece that is 16 and she has high functioning autism. My wife and I agreed to let her babysit when my sister asked. Easy way to have a babysitter and she gets pocket money to spend.

She babysat last week and she was late. We were able to get to our event but it was annoying. The whole night went well and the kids had a good time. I informed her she can not be late since we have places to be.

Today my wife and I had to get to a work function and we needed to be on time. She was suppose to babysit but when she was 20 minutes late I called her and told her not to come. I pulled a favor form my neighbor and we left.

I got a call from my sister pissed that I fired my niece and it’s not her fault she has time blindness. That my niece has been very upset about being fired and personally I think it’s a good life experiences. Better to figure it out now before she gets a job where you clock in.

My sister called me a jerk and my wife is thinking I may be too harsh even if she agrees that her being late is an issue.

There is a whole lot of unnecessary back story I will leave out.

I rented my parent's house after they retired and moved south. I paid slightly below market rate. The plan was for me to save up and eventually buy the house at a great price. They would then give that money to my brother as his part of their estate. My share was the subsidized rent and the very subsidized purchase agreement.

Everyone thought this was fair. Until my brother's wife started running up debts they couldn't cover. This lead to them losing their home and needing help. I love my brother and my nephews so when my mom asked me if they could move in I talked to my husband and we agreed. We are in the process of adopting two siblings but we are still not there. It was only going to be temporary so why not.

Half off the rent for a few months would totally help us with the down payment and expenses. They moved in in February. When March rolled around I sent transferred half my usual rent to my parents. My mom called to ask me where the rest was. I said I assumed that Brad was paying the other half. Nope. I had to pay all the rent. I asked why I had to pay for them to stay in my house. My mom said it wasn't my house yet and that I was being mouthy.

I saw the writing on the wall. I paid the rent and started looking. We had a good amount saved up and we didn't need a big old house with lots of maintenance issues we had been handling.

We paid the full rent in April as well. But we moved out and into the house we closed on. It was ready for immediate possession. With my husband and I having decent income and 25% down it went smoothly. The only downside is the much smaller yard. But it is a block away from a public park so we aren't losing much.

I did tell my parents we were leaving. May first I got another call from my mom. She wanted the rent. I said I wasn't living there any more. She said I was breaking our deal. I said that our deal never included me paying for my brother's living expenses. She said that they couldn't afford to cover the mortgage without my rent. I told her to get money from my brother. He was still working. She said he was trying to pay his debts. I said that his wife should get a job.

I could write a much longer post just on this discussion.

Long story short she said I was being cheap and viscous to my brother and to my parents.

We are settling in to our newish house and just ignoring them for a while. But I'm wondering about if maybe I'm wrong.

AITA?

My daughter turned 13 yesterday. I made sure to ask her what she wants for her birthday a few months in advance. She gave me a list. Great. I explained she won't be getting everything from the list as it was big and some things were expensive. She understood.

About a week after we had that conversation, she tells me she wants tickets to a show for her birthday. Going to the show would also mean traveling a little out of the city. Neither are cheap. So I told her that would be the only gift she would get and would also replace a party. She said that's what she wants and I triple checked before I booked tickets.

A couple of weeks ago, would you believe, she tells me she changed her mind again. She wants clothes instead of the show. I told her I already booked everything so there's absolutely no way. She got into a strop about it and said she isn't going. I told her fine I'll take someone else, fully expecting her to later apologize and say she is coming.

But the apology never came. In fact her attitude got worse and she got into trouble at school. She asked me if I got her the clothes and I told her no, I'm sticking to my word. I don't think she believed me. Well her birthday came and she realized I wasn't bluffing. I didn't get her any gifts. She was appalled and I was the worst mother ever. I told her she's learned a valuable lesson. I really wanted to make her birthday special but she was being awful. Of course other relatives got her things but none from me.

She told her grandparents her side of the story. Which was of course all one sided making her out as a victim. They called me and I explained to them the whole truth. They also think I'm awful and the "poor girl" needs gifts from her mother. I told them next year will be different if she behaves.

AITA?

I 25F am an electrician. I started my apprenticeship at 17 and was hired immediately by my sponsor after I received my license. The reason I chose a trade was that I grew up in a trailer with my mom and sister, and I have wanted to own a house since I can remember, and being in the trades gave me access to a stable job and access to more money sooner. My partner, 29F, Thea, is a plumber, and we have scrounged and saved. In the end we bought land and built a tiny house in the uptown area of our city. It has two bedrooms and one bathroom, one of the bedrooms is our reptile room, as I keep snakes and Thea keeps bearded dragons. We are child-free and happy in our home.

My Sister "Lucy" 34F, is a waitress and has three kids (M4, M3, M2). Her husband just left her for a woman my age and she is left without his income to raise all three kids on her own. Her husband bought out her half of the house during the divorce and that left her and the kids living with my mom in the trailer.

I can admit I didn't grow up in the safest of areas and was carrying a knife when I was a teenager because of the danger. Because of the safety issue, Lucy came to Thea and I and begged us to let her and her sons move in. She said we would have to get rid of our reptiles or keep them in our room, her sons could have the other bedroom, and she would sleep in our kitchen on an air mattress. She said nothing about paying us rent or helping around the house.

I told her no, because two toddlers and a little kid who is about to start kindergarten aren't suitable to be in our home and we don't want too many people in our house. She said that we live in a better part of town with better schools and that she needed the help. I told her we didn't have the room and that I was sorry, but I could hook her up with some journeymen I know and she could get started on an apprenticeship that pays better than her current job if she needed extra money.

She called my job and Thea's job "Dirty blue collar trash" and left our home. She posted about how we wouldn't let her stay online, and now my relatives are messaging me about, "How could I let a single mother and 3 kids be homeless," How "they're your blood," and "You owe your sister better than that." I feel like a complete asshole even though Thea told me I have every right not to want them in our house. AITA?

AFTER DINNER WITH MY XBIL EDIT: Thea and I went to dinner with my XBIL tonight. He brought his laptop and showed us all of the documentation.
1.) Lucy used her proceeds from the house to pay for her attorney, even though my XBIL offered to pay (timestamped e-mails to prove it)
2.) The woman living with him is his niece, not his AP, as Lucy claimed. (She came to the meeting; they have pictures and phone records showing that she is my XBIL's older sister's daughter.)
3.) LUCY CHEATED: ALL 3 BOYS AREN'T HIS. And DNA tests show that they all have different dads. So Lucy has been having multiple affairs.
4.) The 300 he is sending each month is a good will payment for allowing him to be a dad for a few years.
5.) Lucy isn't waitressing, she is working for Amway and another company called Sentsy in direct sales.
6.) Lucy won't do an apprenticeship because it doesn't fall under traditional gender roles (posts on a second social media account)
7.) Lucy has made homophobic posts on social media about me and my wife, and blocked us so we didn't see them.

In the end... IDK what to think.

First she hated my husband. She thought he was “short” and pathetic and simp. By simp she meant he loved and respected me and didn’t play games. He was so confident in himself that he told me he liked me after the third date and when he proposed, he admitted that he was in love with from our first date. I am so in love with him and her “kidding” didn’t bother me. All I did and said is that I wished her to experience real love, only then she will understand why I am with him. That was on my wedding day when she again was kidding. My sister told her that her passive aggressiveness was showing and that she wasn’t fooling anyone. The rest of the girls laughed.

For two years now she has never spoken ill about him. I was very relieved in the beginning but then I started wondering. She is too nice to him. Always complimenting his looks. She usually doesn’t even hug hello (she says she’s autistic and can’t) but now, she hugs and kisses him hi. Always sits beside him. Texts him memes and she told me that they had the same humor (they don’t). I didn’t know what to do should I say something to any of them? My husband is oblivious and I don’t want to hurt her if I was being mistaken.

Two weeks ago she sent my husband a text saying that she was in love with him. He didn’t answer her so she sent him hello? He asked her to stop because he is very uncomfortable and doesn’t reciprocate her feelings and that l loved her so she shouldn’t do this again. A week later she sent him nudes.

At that my husband told me everything. He said he wasn’t sure at first but she made a move on him a month ago then he showed me the text. I was very angry and disappointed. He told me he was blocking her now.

So last Sunday I just confronted her when we were out for dinner. It was the same usual friend group. I blurred her nude but her face and sent everyone the screenshots of what she wrote to my husband. I asked her what she thought about that and she was livid.

So basically what’s in the title. She is so angry at me, calling me an abuser and an AH. But for me, if what she was doing wasn’t wrong then she wouldn’t be ashamed of me outing her would she?

What would happen if I only drank water for an entire year no sugary drinks, no sodas, no sugar in coffee. Nothing just pure water.

I know I said that that would be my last update. It’s not really necessary for me to make another, but now I’m kind of using this as a form of journaling which I’ve found cathartic. The previous posts are all under my username.

I only had one run in with my ex since the last incident. He came to my house. I only spoke to him through the camera. He asked about getting his things. I told him that I had already got rid of everything as I had warned him, but that his kids had taken some things. I also told him he needed to leave and to not come back. Surprisingly he didn’t make a big fuss about it. He just said okay and that he was sorry for bothering me before he left, but he did look very tired so maybe that’s why.

I have not seen him since and apparently his ex and his kids haven’t heard from him in all this time either. This update had more to do with them than my ex actually. His ex contacted me to ask about him. She wanted to know if I had heard from him or had his new contact information. His phone is apparently no longer in service. I told her how I hadn’t had any contact with his since the aforementioned visit.

She also asked if she and I could meet up for coffee and talk. I declined because honestly I couldn’t think of a reason for us to meet up. Though I did offer to pass on any info about him if I heard anything.

She apparently wanted to talk to me about helping her pay for her eldest child’s (who is now a senior in highschool) education next year. She also subtly implied there was some fault on my part for their lacks of funds. I rather cowardly told her I would think about it and ended the call.

To be honest I feel like it’s an unfair position she’s putting me in. The main reason being that her children don’t seem to care for me. We got along alright while I was with their dad. However since I ended things with him it has been complete silence from them. I did try to reach out to them to see if they were okay. They never responded. Even when they came over to get their things they ignored me and my youngest. However I did get a message after the call with their mom about how she missed me. The timing though just makes it seem sort of like manipulation to get money out of me.

Edit. I have since blocked all of them.

I have a 6 year old autistic son. The other night before bed he began crying hysterically asking my wife for a robux gift card to give a kid at school. Upon further inquiry, it turns out this was an idea of our sons to give the other child the card as a means to get him to stop touching my son.

We launched an “investigation” with my son’s school to figure out what’s going on. We were assured that they were going to make sure the kids were permanently separated. They also assured us they’d be interviewing the people around them to get a better understanding of what was going on. We raised concerns that 1-2 weeks prior during our parent teacher conference that our son’s main room teacher had mentioned our son was sweet and a great child but he was easily influenced by other children. We raised this concern with the administrators of the investigation.

A month goes by and they’ve now questioned my son twice. A week later they release the “evidence” of their investigation for both of the families to review. In their “evidence” they have a transcript of a voice recording my wife and I made of our son telling us what happened, transcript of their first interview, the other child’s interview, and a 2nd interview with my son. A couple things discovered, the kid that did this to my 6 year old autistic son in kindergarten is a 5th grader. Absolutely nowhere does it show anything related to questioning anyone around my son and so on so forth. There are many more details involved that look like this is a “make sure our school can’t be held liable” rather than finding scrutinizing what happened and discipline/pursuing legal repercussions towards the other child. I called the police, met with an officer and provided him with a copy of the recording and haven’t heard anything. At this point I’m feeling like we’re getting covered up essentially. No ones using an ounce of their brain to handle this like it should be.

Do I need to get a lawyer involved? Are their legal assistance avenues for victims like my son? I don’t really have the financial means to hire a lawyer if there isn’t assistance but given the way this is unfolding, it absolutely feels like they’re doing their best to sweep it under the rug. They had the fucking audacity to ask my son if he knows “the power of no” and “how do you feel about (kids name)?” It’s fucking gross and my heart breaks for my son.

Edit: thread locked. Thank you everyone for your advice. Dealing with this is a struggle so having to digest it all little by little. I’ll respond to anyone I can when I can manage. I appreciate everything.

I (19f) am missing a leg, and have a false one. I most often wear boots and baggy pants, so people don't tend to know that about me. Upon moving to a much hotter place for college, I've been putting more shorts into my wardrobe.

One woman asked me to cover up because I could be disturbing and triggering to some people. I told her to fuck off and asked around about her, and managed to get invited to a costume party she was going to. A put on a playboy bunny get-up. She got fairly upset and said I ruined something she had to cancel her things for. Was I immature?

I (19f) at an impasse with my parents (46m, 44f) regarding rent for the house where we all live.

Background: when I was in the early high school my grandmother unfortunately passed away. In her will, she left half of her house to my mother and half to me, she had no other relatives. My whole family moved to grandmother's house, and we've been living there ever since.

When I finished high school, I enrolled into a local college, and honestly it didn't make much sense to move on campus as living home allowed me to save money. So I continued to live home. Grandma's money also helped cover my tuition, and I have a YouTube channel that generates some income, so I can cover my living expenses and have some left. However, my parents are not happy that I continue to live at home and yet refuse to obey their "home" rules, like curfew, or how much time I spend playing videogames (even though videogames actually generate my income), or that I don't come upstairs to join them for the meals, and instead cook my own in the kitchenette downstairs.

So they tried to pull the "our home, our rules, either you pay rent or get out" spiel, and I pointed out that it's as much MY house as it's my mother's, and whatever rent they charge me, I can charge my father as he isn't on the house deed. I don't mind contributing towards groceries, utilities, and house taxes, but they can't charge me rent for living in a house that I legally own, nor can they kick me out, I am not a kid anymore and I am not a tenant. They are pissed that I dared to throw "my house, my rules" into their faces. AITA?

UPDATE: All the replies made me realize that my parents might think I am paying for the occurring expenses with inheritance, not with my streaming income, and they might not understand how much I am actually making playing video games. I'll show them the printouts for the last three months, and see what happens. Wish me luck!)

UPDATE 2: I know how much the house it appraised for, I pay my portion of the house tax, homeowner's insurance, utilities, maintenance et.c., and I am saving up for the big house repair that's coming up in three years.

The day after I posted an update, I was on my way home when I got a call from my ex's mother, she told me to not order or bring anything for dinner and she seemed a little off. Anyway when I made it to her mother's house, my ex was breastfeeding so I went to help her mother set the table. Both my ex and her mother didn't talk at all and you could feel that something wasn't right.

Her mother started a conversation about fatherhood and said something along the lines of "you're a good dad yourself, I wouldn't have dreamed of a better dad to my grandchild" my ex mumbled "Yeah wait until he disappear before his son even turns 1 year" (like my father did) I felt myself shaking with rage, her mother snapped at her instantly. I said nothing as the baby was in the same room and didn't want to wake him up with raised voices, I quietly left.

Before I even made it home she blew up my phone with texts and missed calls. She was begging me to answer her call. I did. She apologized for bringing up my father and said she was angry at herself for everything and instead of trying to fix things she just made it even worse. She then said that she can't say this face to face and asked if I can just listen to her without cutting her off until she finishes. She apologized about how she didn't stop her best friend from ruining our relationship and that she now realizes how wrong the way both of them used to act. I Didn't say anything I just kept listening to her.

She also mentioned that her mother made her realize how the flirting and touching were too much for any man in his right mind to accept. She talked and talked and I listened until she got everything out and asked her the question that been eating me up because I really needed closure to put everything behind. I asked her if anything happened between them when we were still together, she said no but the night he came to see the baby he admitted to having feelings for her which made her realize that the way he was handsy and flirty with her wasn't innocent.

I went the next day to see my son, I had a conversation with her mother about everything, she advised me to not let anything get into the way of my relationship with my son, I reassured her that my son well-being all I care about and nothing can affect the way I care about him. She also apologized for what he daughter said and validated my feelings. Later my ex asked if both of us could start therapy to work out everything properly for the sake of our son so we co-parent the best way we can. She looked more relaxed and herself for the first time after everything and apologized again for bringing up my father and how she hate herself for it.

That's all I don't think there will be any more updates. This it for me, both of us decided to do what best for our son.

For people advising me in the last post, I already went the legal route to get my legal rights to my child, I just forgot to mention it.

I will delete the posts and my account this week I just wanted to let you know how things went since I already shared my problem with you. Thank you for your opinions especially the ones that tried to see things from my perspective and tried to be kind to me.

Edit: she dropped her friend that what she said when she was talking about when he admitted to having feelings for her.

Edit: if you read my previous posts you'd know that I apologized many times for my mistakes. I never said I didn't make any or didn't genuinely apologize.

I (47F) was married for 21 years with 3 kids ( now 16F, 15M, and 13M) when my husband died from a stroke.

My husband was a great man who always tried his best- he always had his heart set on being an entrepreneur, but struggled with making tough business decisions. Two years before the stroke that killed him, he had had another stroke and that made him prone to impulsive decisions. He hired a friend lousy bookkeeper who gave him further bad advice.

My husband insisted I stop working when our youngest son (13M) was born. Before that, I had worked part time as a receptionist and then helped him with admin tasks, cosigned on business loans I didn't fully understand , was on a business bank account. I supported him through the lows of when one business failed and then he started another.

My youngest son " Marc" is severely autistic.

My husband died with a lot of debt and a lot of negligence in terms of bookkeeping and taxes. I tried parlaying my unique experience being the head admin of a household with an autistic kid to executive assistant roles, or school jobs, but besides a noon aid job the schools were not hiring.

My sister invited us all to stay with her and share household expenses but she told me a few months in that her 11 yo daughter is afraid of my 13 yo and my BIL started claiming my 13 yo's expenses were an excessive burden.

They were saying my 13yo needed to leave, which obviously translated to me having to leave, but I had $120 in my account at the time. They evicted us ( but it's only on my record) 4 months ago and my kids and I had to first live in a car and then a shelter.

My sister then calls my older kids behind my back and tells them that if they continue to keep their room clean as before and pull their weight around the house, they could move back in.

Then her and my kids exchange texts where they complain about how dealing with shelters and motels has affected their brother. My kids then tell me they want to move back to their aunt's house. I tell them she evicted me and by extension all of us, and if she doesn't want me or her brother there, then she doesn't want any of us because we are a unit.

Despite that, they continue to want to live with their aunt. I asked them what kind of mom would I be if I just gave my kids away to somebody else. And I didn't understand why they weren't angrier at their aunt and uncle for saying their younger brother was a burden and how them hurting him hurts me and them too.

I told them if they wanted to go they have arms and legs, but if they are making this decision know that their brother will feel like they are traitors and I feel betrayed too. AITA? They are still with me and I really as a mom feel it's unthinkable to just be separate from my young kids and still feel that I like to tell them a hard no, that they need to stay with me because we're a family even when times are a bit tough now.