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Original : July 24, 2024

Title: Flower pillar help

I’ve been DIYing these flower pillars for months and after looking at photos of other arches, I feel like I went way overboard on the flowers. Should I try to remove some of them or leave it as is? Is there anything else I should change/adjust?

Description*:* Somewhat Dr. Seuss looking flower trees. They have a wider base but are mostly slim. They are... definitely reminiscent of male genitalia. The colors of the flowers are lovely though!

Relevant Comments:

Top Commenter artistdies: I don't know how to put this... The shape is a little bit phallic

OOP: 😭😭😭 what do I do?!

Commenter: Maybe remove some at the ends or shorten the flowers at the ends? You know .. to reduce the appearance of balls 😅

OOP: LMAO i cant believe ive been staring at these things for months and “this looks like a penis” never even crossed my mind🤦🏻‍♀️ i have to pull a lot of the flowers anyway so i’ll try that and see if the lack of balls helps😂

Expensive:

SO EXPENSIVE. I thought i was making a cost-effective choice DIYing faux florals but I was so wrong. It definitely doesnt help that i went way overboard either, though😅 im hoping to sell it after the wedding, we have a pretty small house and mice in our garage so keeping it isnt an option for us. I love wisteria though, i would totally add an arbor of it to my yard if it wasnt so invasive!

Commenter: You are SO wholesome i absolutely adore you LOL. very phallic looking flowers but the colours are AMAZING.

OOP: Thank you so much! I am very happy with the color combination i ended up with, especially because i had to just buy a few bunches of flowers each time I got paid instead of all at once. There were a lot of flowers that i started with that i couldnt find anymore by the end😬 it worked out though!

How tall are they?

The tall side is probably 7ish feet? [2.1336 meters] Its only a few inches below my ceiling so maybe closer to 7.5 and the short side is about 6 feet. I do have 2 extra sections of the frame that I left out so they would fit in my house, i wonder if i could find a way to add them to the short side.. i think itd take an act of god to finish that by next weekend though😔

OOP gets help from a florist:

Beautifuldis: Florist here. The flowers are way over board, definitely should have used maybe 1/4 of the flowers and the rest greens. The shape is off unless this is what you were going for!? Not sure how much time you have until the wedding but if it were me I’d remove a cubic fuck ton and get greens….. but if your budget won’t allow the greens then depending on how you wired this you could use real greenery ie: yours and family’s yards ect but that can’t be done ahead of time. All in all if you love it, that’s all that matters!

OOP: I did not mean to make flower penises, if that’s what you mean🥲😭 i have… a week and a half. But i’m going to make an attempt to pull some flowers and add greenery, thank you!!

Commenter: I LOVE the amount of flowers! It's so happy and colorful. But yes....looking a little.... phallic

You can keep the bases wider if it helps the structure, but try and soften the edges that taper. either add more to the edge, or pull some away from the base.

As soon as I saw these, I thought I'd cry, because I absolutely would have loved pillars like this at my wedding

OOP: Awh, thank you so much🥹 this actually really helps with the crushing sense of failure that ive been feeling about this. Today i’m going to try to take some volume off the top and taper them more and see if that helps me unsee the uncomfortable shape 😬

One more thought from OOP:

This really was all so funny, it always surprises me how funny random people on reddit are😂 and i appreciate so much that everyone was so nice about the fact that i said “what can i improve about my flowers” with my entire chest without the faintest idea that they literally look like dicks you would find drawn on a bathroom stall in a middle school. And i never would have thought of floral penis sculptures!

Comment Update: 12 hours later

So I tried my damndest to make them look like anything but penises and literally cant do it so i think im going to have to find a way to connect them🥲 i might try to make the short one taller and just set them next to each other to “connect” them. My fiance and i have been rolling laughing at all the comments, i wish i could frame them all😂

Mini Update: July 25, 2024 (Next Day)

Quick update: i was able to manage to add an extra couple of feet to the frame and foam on the short side so two peenies will become one! I didnt think i would be able to do it, but i pulled it off🥹

Update : August 6, 2024 (about 2 weeks from OG post)

Title: UPDATE - flower “pillars”

Many have requested an update on my flower “pillar” situation and I am here with the final result! I ended up adding about 2 feet to the less well-endowed side and connecting the two at the top. I didnt have time to perfect the tops so they look anlittle funky but overall, at least they arent penises. Thank you, everyone for saving me from eternal embarrassment aside from getting absolutely cooked on here lol

Description: honestly a quite lovely flower arch.

Relevant Comments:

Artificial flowers?

Yes, all artificial! I havent totalled up my receipts yet but i will update when i do!😊

OOP's total cost:

The total was around $1500 for everything to make this and my aisle arrangements! It definitely could have been done much cheaper though, I have a ton of extra flowers😬I just totalled up my receipts and it cost around $1500 for this and the aisle arrangements I made - i have a TON of leftover flowers though so it could absolutely be done for less with better planning skills than I possess😭 i’m hoping to be able to sell it along with the rest of my florals because my new husband is not impressed with all the garage real estate it takes up😂

Top Comment:

pittgirl12: Omg this looks beautiful! Definitely an upgrade and I’m so glad you didn’t get married next to two flowers dicks