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this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
My husband was always a large man but I thought we both had an understanding that him gaining weight was a bad idea. I was okay with him sticking to his weight (280 lbs when we met) but I was open that any more weight would be a major issue with me for health reasons.
…Then life happened and we BOTH gained 40 lbs. I knew I couldn’t possibly judge him when I had gained the same amount (even though I was still much healthier BMI-wise) so I looked passed it at first. Then it finally hit me that I should lose weight and I’m now only 10 lbs heavier than I was when we met, and passionately working on losing the rest.
…My husband on the other hand has kept on gaining. He’s now a whopping 350 lbs. It hurts me to watch him struggle to breathe while doing basic tasks. I cook all of our meals and make sure that they’re healthy but he’s either eating a LOT or he’s eating outside. He works while I stay home so naturally he’s probably eating out. We also have a cheat day once a week so he could be going a bit too crazy on that day. I don’t know.
But anyway I wasn’t aware of how truly bad he had gotten until I asked him to weigh himself with my scale. Just out of sheer curiosity. When 350 lbs came back, I kind of lost it. I told him that I am too young (we’re 27) to tie myself down to a man who I’ll probably lose in a couple of decades. I straight up told him that if he doesn’t lose weight before the year ends, I’m filing for divorce because I can’t waste my final smithereens of youth. I deserve someone I can grow truly old with, not have to start over as a 50-something widow (or not even be able to start over because I’m his caregiver).
He got very hurt that I could tell him such a thing and called me horrible for being ready to drop him over this when he’s a great husband. He is a great husband, that’s undeniable, but there’s a possibility I can find someone who’s also great but will actually be with me when I’m fully grey. And also- the biological clock is ticking. I want children before it’s too late. How is he going to be the best father he can when he can’t even bend down?
AITA?
