r/socialskills

In my lifetime so far, I’ve encountered a handful of people who are incapable of having deep, meaningful, or substantive conversations. And I don’t mean people with social anxiety or severe shyness, as I myself am extremely shy and I’m very patient with others similar to myself.

For example, they answer every question with a sarcastic comment/‘joke’, point out other people’s flaws yet never consider their own, and are generally just unpleasant to be around.

Anytime you try to say something meaningful, they laugh it off and try turn it into some unfunny joke at your expense or the expense of someone else in the room. It’s rare for me to dislike people as I’m generally an understanding and easygoing person, but I’ve met a few of these characters over the years and I just don’t know how to deal with them.

This is something I recently tried implementing in my life. You don't cut down communication with people, just try to say the same things with as little words as possible. When you try to minimise your words you become very conscious about your speech. When you do this your speech acquires power. People will start listening to your words and take them seriously. Even your command over the language will improve and you will be able to say things very clearly. Your speech will become beautiful and delightful to listen to.

But to actually reduce your words by 50%, just using lesser number of words is not enough. You will also need to remain silent in many situations and avoid engaging in silly arguments.

I'm emphasizing that you don't need to become dead serious and stop engaging in casual banter and jokes. No you don't need to cut those down, just cut down the silly day to day arguments.

You may think that if I do not engage in an argument it will hurt my image but more often than not the person you are arguing with will never change his opinion, even if you are right, no matter what you say. So its best to just avoid such arguments and be silent, trust me this will save your time, energy and will definitely improve your mental balance and peace of mind.

In the beginning it may be a bit challenging but if you have perseverance then this simple tip can do wonders to your life.  I originally came across this tip in a sadh guru video, if anyone is interested to know more.

your social battery could be at the same level, at the same exact time and setting. some people just immediately drain the life out of you whereas someone else can instantly make you feel uplifted and your shoulders don’t tense up.

what are the key differences? it’s almost so subconscious you don’t actively observe it until your gut feelings hit.