Advice Needed
Husband(36m) has always had issues with ALMOST cheating on me(35f). He’s obsessed with porn, pushing boundaries, and getting attention from any girl he can. It’s never gotten past flirty texts as far as I know. But the attention seeking is enough for me. It’s even happened during multiple of our pregnancies. The latest that has pushed me over the edge is the flirting with a coworker and it escalating to wanting to hang out. He knows I know about everything that goes on, and gives the usual lines and lies about changing and it’s not what I think. Everything that could possibly be said, has been said. On both sides.
I’ve never given him any worry on my end of the relationship and I pride myself on being a good wife. My friends tell me to just “return the favor” and do back to him whatever he’s doing to me, but it feels dirty and I don’t want to go that route.
So instead I have been acting nothing short of a perfect wife..so I can leave him when he least expects it. I want him to see how he lost something that was so great and be heartbroken the way he made me for countless years , but without me having to bring others into it. I wouldn’t call it “acting” it’s just always how I’ve been, but I’ve taken away the negative parts like complaining/fughting. I’m biting my tongue when I see he’s wronged me again, and have tried to take over all responsibilities without bothering him about anything. This way it will be complete shock when the divorce papers are delivered. My friends and family are saying my way is more “evil” but in my opinion I think the adultery on his part is way worse.
My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) had been looking forward to a concert for weeks. We managed to snag tickets to see our favorite band perform live. However, on the day of the concert, as we were walking to the venue, we passed by a fan who was desperately asking if anyone had spare tickets because he couldn't afford them. My girlfriend, being incredibly empathetic, decided to give him our tickets without consulting me first.
I was shocked and a bit upset because we had been planning this for so long and I was really excited about it. When I expressed my disappointment, she told me that it was the right thing to do and that we could always catch the band next time they're in town. But I felt like she disregarded my feelings and our plans without considering how much it meant to me.
Later, she suggested we try to buy tickets from scalpers or wait outside the venue in case someone was selling theirs. I refused, feeling frustrated and disappointed, and suggested we just go home instead. She got upset with me, saying I was being selfish and ruining our night. AITAH?
