American cheese

People who go out of their way to let you know that they “don’t care for American cheese” are liars who want badly to sound refined but come off looking dumb.

They verbally shit on Velveeta then are the first ones to order queso at Chipotle. I see them hovering over the Rotel crock pot at every Super Bowl party.

Liars and snobs. The whole lot of them.

Edit: We got a confirmation on Kraft singles, what about velvita or anything else hyper processed?

Edit: I guess Mexico, Canada, South Korea, and Australia sell it.

Edit: my ocd wants to reply to everyone, but its very difficult.

Be fucking honest with yourselves. The reason American cheese is unpopular isn't that it tastes bad (more on that), but because it's got a reputation for being a shitty American bastardization of treasured and historic food from Europe. We damn American's got our grubby hands on it, and capitalized the shit out of it, didn't we!

American cheese is perfect in some situations. On a burger, in breakfast sandwiches, in grilled cheese, cheesesteaks, mac & Cheese, and the list goes on and on. I can get down on a bleu cheese burger, or a Havarti Mac & Cheese, but they taste DIFFERENT, and I want them in a different way than I want a good 'ol classic melty, pasteurized cheese bomb of a smash burger.

If American cheese was known as something not related to America, then it would be so much more excepted. Hell, it could even be considered more of a delicacy than a frowned-upon, shitty version of something that it's not, but in reality, it's not even trying to be cheese. It's trying to be it's own thing. And I fucking love that thing.

EDIT: like half of these comments are missing the point where I literally say it's not "cheese", and it's not trying to be "cheese". It's something else, and shouldn't be directly compared.

Someone put a slice of american cheese that was still in the plastic package on the hood of my car. It sat in the sun this morning and the plastic has melted on to the hood of my car.

What is the best way to remove it without damaging the paint?

Here is a picture:

UPDATE: I just went out to work on it, and the plastic is not actually on the cheese. I was able to peel it off and it doesn't appear to have damaged the paint at all. Once I give it an actual wash, it should be just like new!

Thanks to everyone for the input and advice. You guys rock!

Listen, you dont like American cheese, thats fine. Idgaf. Literally: IDGAF. But dont put down my (impeccable) taste with a stupid argument like “it isnt real cheese.” Who cares? Its delicious. Its melty, rich, and smooth. Yes, its made of various other cheese products, hence not being its own “real” cheese. Get the eff over yourself and have a friggin cheeseburger.

Get in the car loser, we’re eating American cheese.

(Would like to add that I realize other parts of the world call American cheese by different names. And still others have no comparable type of cheese. I apologize for those I have perplexed, I do not mean to be here. Its simple a pet peeve rant!)

I've come into possession of 4lbs of processed yellow American cheese in the form of two 2lb blocks. It's not the higher quality Land o Lakes/Boars Head stuff you get in the deli, but more akin to Kraft Singles in their unsliced form.

Obviously I'm not going to make that many bologna and cheese sandwiches to plow through this stuff (not that it goes bad), so gimme your processed cheese recommendations. The more questionable the better.