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[–]cuckerman420 1504 points1505 points  (9 children)

Newest character with best teammates Bennett and Xiangling? As God intended.

[–]rW0HgFyxoJhYka 438 points439 points  (1 child)

Life is good.

OP shitpost indicates we will be satisfied 16 years from now. What a wonderful and full-of-positivity post.

[–]MaitieS 69 points70 points  (0 children)

16 years from now? But it's already 2024!!! :pepestare:

[–]mikethebest1 166 points167 points  (5 children)

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Xiangling. I try to play Diluc. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Yoimiya. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Hu tao. My Xiangling deals more damage. I want to play Klee. Her best team has Xiangling. I want to play Raiden, Childe. They both want Xiangling.

She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her The Catch. She isn't satisfied. I pull Engulfing Lightning. "I don't need this much er" She tells me. "Give me more field time." She grabs Bennett and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Homa."

I can't pull for Homa, I don't have enough Primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Gouba. She says "Gouba, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no icd pyro application. What a cruel world.

[–]ReplacementOk3074 43 points44 points  (3 children)

Slight correction:I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Xiangling. I try to play Capitano. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Xbalaque. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Arlecchino. My xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Surtalogi . My Xiangling deals more damage.I want to play Madame Ping. Her best team has Xiangling. I want to play Tsarita,Dainsleif. They both want Xiangling.

She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the catch. She isn't satisfied. I pull for engulfing lightning. "I don't need this much er" She tells me. "Give me more field time." She grabs Bennett ,Murata and Chevreuse and forces them to throw themselves off enemies.You just need to funnel me more."I can deal more damage with Arlecchino's scythe."

I can't pull for it, I don't have enough primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs gouba. She says "Gouba, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no icd pyro application.

[–]DariganX 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Pure Cinema!

[–]X_Factor_GamingOne day, Snezhnaya will conquer all! 终有一日,至冬必灭六国一统天下! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here's a version for 1.2:

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Phys Xiangling. I try to play Pyro Xiangling with 4p Exile yet my Phys Xiangling does more damage and doesn't need funneling. I try to play Yoimiya but she is just a silhouette on a character sheet. I see no Cyno yet. There's no more Dehya disappointment anymore. I want to play Klee because she's better than Diluc and definitely better than Xiangling, though the arsonist child is clunky to play. I want to play Childe but I don't know how rotations work and play him as a hypercarry. She grabs me by the throat. I farm Northlander Billets for her. I cook for her. I give her R5 Cresent Pike. She isn't satisfied. "Save up for Signora. Hopefully she's a dedicated Physical support Cryo catalyst, surely." In the meantime, I try giving Vortex Vanquisher to her because she deserved it more than Zhongli. "I don't need this much ATK%," She tells me. "Give me more field time." She lamented. "You just need to pull Cryo Amber so I have more Superconduct uptime" I can't pull for Ganyu, I don't have enough primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Guoba. She says "Guoba, get them." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but underwhelming white damage numbers. What a cruel world...

TL:DR: OPPA XL on top.

[–]Increase-Typical 1462 points1463 points  (10 children)

God-tier copypasta, I laughed. Thanks for this lmao

Edit: not sure which line is my favourite, "the newest Geo character (released eight years ago)" or "her best team has Bennett and Xiangling" or "Google Classroom's rating on the App Store is 0.2"

Missed opportunity for a dig at the rare Eula reruns, too haha

[–]I_READ_TEA_LEAVES 275 points276 points  (3 children)

For added realism, in the future, Snezhnaya slowly expands into Fontaine.

Meanwhile, Mondstadt slowly expands into Sumeru - they blame the Eremites.

[–]Croaker_392 111 points112 points  (2 children)

And Liyue probably expands horizontally now that its borders are connected to other countries.

The Sky is a lie, it Liyue everywhere now.

[–]ReadAccount 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Eula? That mythical character who had only 4 total reruns (last in 5.1, my grandfather told me he lost his 50/50 back then)? I don't believe she actually existed anytime and that's just a horror story told to generate FOMO kids.

[–]rW0HgFyxoJhYka 178 points179 points  (0 children)

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Genshin. I try to play HSR. The communities have a daily post about Genshin. I try to browse gacha communities. Every post has Genshin mentions. I try to browse regular gaming communities. There's a monthly genshin hate thread. I try to see memes. I see a genshin neckbeard meme every 2 seconds. I browse fanart. Every character is from genshin. I mute the world. I leave all game communities. My favourite youtuber gets sponsored by genshin. "Download genshin impact" they tell me. I go to an anime convention. There's genshin everywhere. A talking fairy comes out "Traveller it needs 80 gb of space". She grabs my pc and forces me to download it. "You just need to spend some money on it" I can't do it, I don't have enough money. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She takes all of my food and leaves."Ehe te nandayo?!" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing, but pure billions of dollars in revenue. What a cruel world.

[–]eloheim_the_dreamAnemo Attraction 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I still don't get why the characters gift *us* on *their* birthdays, but whatever.

[–]lock_me_up_now 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This one for the hall of fame.

[–]aesir121 262 points263 points  (6 children)

Hey guys, I'm a new player building Elliot, but it says his best in slot is Festering Desire?

[–]173isapeanut 246 points247 points  (1 child)

Yes, your fault for not having it. Should've started playing 15 years ago like anybody with some common sense.

[–]f1yingship 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Lol, yes. I'm glad my mum made me an account and logged in for me for the event on my 5th birthday.

[–]Barrack 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Hey guys I finly got Albaido, whear can I found the Cinnabon Spindal pls?!!!

[–]hanki-ki 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I heard some leakers say they'll be selling it soon in a 4* weapon event pack with genesis crystals as an antiquity alongside previous 1.X-2.X weapons for those who weren't playing 16 years ago.

If not you can always use the ol' trustable Harbinger of Dawn R5 or try luck on the still scummy weapon banner with some of the new defense sword users, but they can never rival the og drip. Sadly enough, he got heavily outclassed after the holographic construct introduction alongside the old geos.

Best thing you can do is to save for abyssal Albedo: Kreideprinz Lunae, he comes with his 5* signature weapon and constellations that give Neuvillette C6 a run for his money. Although he can solo, best thing is to play him with Furina C2+, dual carry Dainsleif and support Skirk C2, unless she's C6 and can be her own main dps. Though wait for Rhinedottir, she might come playable in about 8 months, gotta see her kit.

[–]mightykhanch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

😭😭 these comments are too good

[–]ThisAccountIsStolen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What? He's an EM-scaling geo bow user, since crystalize causes him to gain stacks of Crystal Corruption, which converts 100% of his attack to EM while he is in this state. His BIS is Hunter's Path, which was only available on Tignari's release (2022) and ten year anniversary (2032) banners, which are confidentially the only times Tignari saw a "limited" banner promotion.

[–]Croaker_392 151 points152 points  (1 child)

You forgot telling about mobile players who need to connect their smartphone to a 5 TB usb drive to load Teyvat, Khaenriah, Celestia and new Tavyet and Hairneahk regions.

[–]HalberdHammer 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Don't worry, you can use the new Neuralink™ so you can store the game's data inside your brain.

[–]TwistedMemer 301 points302 points  (15 children)

Arknights auto deploy in the backround is what made it for me.

Imagine the dark reality with no annihilation skip tickets…dark days

[–]SkyePine 71 points72 points  (9 children)

We need Arknights in 2036. Our pharmaceutical company fight a Sentient Blackhole who can teleport, wipe an entire map, and spawn 100 elite mobs. Mylnar alter is the only capable unit of wiping out the final boss in 20 seconds. Victoria Arc is not done yet with the Duke of Bludhaven joining the war. There are still no skip farm, instead HG extended it to 100 chains. Surtr still don't have lore. Abyssal Hunters had another bloody good module. And the Base was still in beta.

[–]OneConfusedBraincell 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I've been failing the EX-8 level for the past twelve hours. In desperation I decide to look for an easy AFK guide. HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO IT WITH MOUNTAIN, IFRIT, NIGHTINGALE AND BLAZE?!

[–]SkyePine 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I didn't know HG collabed with Marvel or Star Rail.

Nightingale protects the operators against Dolly arts damage. Mountain just hold the lane and kill everyone who steps in front of him quickly. Ifrit do big arts damage and the path is simple to funnel. Blade just do blade things and solo the boss.

[–]OneConfusedBraincell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a moron 😭

[–]ysachk 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Please tell me if there's at least a skin for Matoimaru 😩

[–]SkyePine 14 points15 points  (2 children)

No but Jessica will have one.

[–]TMyriadJ GanQing Nation 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Jessica 2nd Alter will get her 3rd skin while Matoimaru gets none.

[–]Oceanshan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully she get glow up like Kroo. Those mommymilkers in Qipao really ko ko my da yo

[–]Albionate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Surtr still don't have lore.

i'm not fine with this :(( (give her some ice cream lores please)

[–]TheGraySeed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Surtr still don't have lore.

At this rate, i think some people in HG probably thought "this character was a mistake". Like she has the most unlikeable personality (her entire "cute" personality are entirely fabricated by the fanbase just because she stress eats with ice cream) with the most "donut steel" backstory and a design resembling that of your typical Geometry Dash demon levels.

She only most of the time appear in promotional arts and ends up being the odd one out every damn time (because she is the only one with no lore in those lineups).

[–]RaidriarDrakeI want Fu Tao to penetrate me with her Staff of H̶o̶m̶o̶ 13 points14 points  (2 children)

imagine....800 enemy annihilation

[–]SenorLos 10 points11 points  (1 child)

And one frame lag leading to the 800th enemy leaking.

[–]kazegraf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In victoria no less, eblana strikes again to burn our ops and our phones/pc

[–]Normal-Ambition-9813 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Its 2036 and the game QoL is still trash. Arknights is really timeless!

[–]beautheschmo Kleeona supremacy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The year is 2036, they have finally added one of the most requested QOL features since launch: a text backlog (not dialogue fast forward/skipping though, they need those precious playtime metrics). It only works on daily commissions.

[–]Myxzyzz 111 points112 points  (0 children)

it dies instantly to C2 Raiden

my Hu Tao team that still somehow clears any and all content without issue

Phew, looks like my spiral abyss teams are good for the next 12 years.

[–]Dark_Magicion 349 points350 points  (11 children)

Error spotted, thus unravelling the lie. Obviously Meng Yao is a Def scaling character who scales with a team of specifically Liyue characters, and their best in slot weapon also scales off having a team exclusively of Liyueans. Therefore Bennett is actually useless with them since he's a Natlanean duh.

Stop pretending you know what the future holds. Clearly you're completely wrong.

[–]crimsonsonic_2 130 points131 points  (4 children)

Didn’t they add a signature weapon for Bennett’s that bypasses that since people were complaining about the lack of synergy with Meng Yao?

[–]Dark_Magicion 68 points69 points  (3 children)

They never gave us Artifact loadouts, you think they would ever give Bennett any means of synergy with Meng Yao? Ha hahaha how very naive you are.

[–]ziege159 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Casual pleb detected, Meng Yao and Bennett have always been a godtier duo. Yes you lose the a7 passive on Meng Yao but the interaction between 2 elemental infusion of Bennett c6 and Mengyao c4 make "volcanic reaction" which somehow give you the bonus dmg for both infusion in q n2c n3d n1j e1 n2d n1c e2 e3 combo(check zajeff7777 video, i know he was a zajeff77 copycat but he changed, after the drama with kektone, zajeff7777 invested a lot of effort into his analysis, he deserves a second chance). In calculation, this teamcomp has 6.47% more dps than the "social credit" Meng Yao team.

[–]Dark_Magicion 31 points32 points  (0 children)

YOU SCHMUCK sure the team comp can be calc'd and sheeted to have 6.74% more DPS but Volcanic Eruption has a 25% chance of not doing additional damage due to the chaotic nature of that reaction and how it covers a very large area but with only a few rocks. I think you've misunderstood the calcs and this is something that 3y1x (Zy0x's illegitimate son whose mother is still unknown) figured out, so the team comp with Bennett does 6.47% more DPS but only 75% of the time, which under the new damage coefficient formula, basically means it never does 6.47% more DPS.

Which is why the Social Credit team tends to clear Spiral Abyss f12 on average 5s faster. It's also why it's still on top of the Spiral Abyss usage rates charts.

EDIT: OOC. Bonus points for the attack combo string and somehow incorporating The Egg into all of this. That gave me a good chuckle.

[–]Rougesam 10 points11 points  (0 children)

ent without issue. I've had Arknights playin

ah yes 12 yrs on i see hu tao and raiden are still meta and there is no artifact loadouts, some things never change. sorry im out of the loop i recently got back into the game as i saw eula's third rerun has been announced! (the last one was in 2023)

[–]Myxzyzz 16 points17 points  (2 children)

You thought it was a Meng Yao mono-Liyue team? Surprise, it's actually Meng Yao national team. Meng Yao is just there to proc TotM buff and shield. The real change to the national team meta is Xingqiu now has another new outfit based on Nahida.

[–]Dark_Magicion 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Ugh you National Batchest Andy's never change. Like yeah you could do that, but National hasn't been relevant since the Double Pyro Archon meta in v13.3.

[–]Myxzyzz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey man, some things don't go out of style. Don't forget that the best double pyro archon teams still ran Xiangling+Bennet mono-pyro, it only fell out of favor when they started putting pyro regisvines in abyss again.

[–]AmberBroccoli 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean with Xiangling Bennet is still probably just worst it.

[–]lock_me_up_now 10 points11 points  (1 child)

New racist character and from liyue? Damn irl

[–]Yosoress 185 points186 points  (11 children)

Bet there still wont be switch port or controller support

[–]shiny_opal お日様が出たら日光浴、お月様が出たら月光浴 [S] 119 points120 points  (2 children)

oh i should've added that

"genshin for switch still doesn't have an announced release date"

[–]WaffleCorp But it was me, Dio-nya! 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Coming soon - 2040

[–]RaidriarDrakeI want Fu Tao to penetrate me with her Staff of H̶o̶m̶o̶ 31 points32 points  (6 children)

or 120 fps for any device other than CrApple's.

[–]Yosoress 14 points15 points  (1 child)

ofcourse why enable it on pc and android when they can
make a deal for apple to hog that feature and make tons of cash

[–]MaitieS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If this is the future of exclusives... I feel like games will be even worse than they are now. Like Apple bought 120FPS, Sony bought 4K texture packs + weapon/glider. Like wth...

[–]goobypls7 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I just want my 144fps man, my monitor craves it. Also whats up with the resolution? Its either something crazy like 3840 instead of 1920x1080. The only 1920x1080 option is windowed instead of full screen. Am I missing something?

[–]argoncrystals 2 points3 points  (0 children)

there's an fps unlocker that I've used for almost two years now

you can even use it to set custom resolutions and launch the game in borderless windowed

[–]Morgan16_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this issue too, I fixed it by disabling DSR - Factors in Nvidia Control Panel. Genshin just doesn't like it being on and it messes up the resolution settings

[–]AkhilArtha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There will be a switch port when ta switch is released without a dogshit processor.

[–]K0KA42 257 points258 points  (4 children)

Bro, c'mon, everyone knows to put down a temporary waypoint right in front of The Beast of Enigma of Starlight Fortune and Abyss Reverberance Feedback to skip the parkour course. This is just common knowledge at this point.

[–]Xistence16Claymore Gang 216 points217 points  (3 children)

Can you guys stop saying the full name everytime

I thought we agreed to call it the abussy beast

[–]lock_me_up_now 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Officer, right here, rhis post right here.

[–]Barrack 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Can you like stop calling her “Shogun.”

Her name is Her Excellency, the Almighty Narukami Ogosho, God of Thunder.

[–]ThisAccountIsStolen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fine, but only if you recite the name of the Algorithm of Semi-Intransient Matrix of Overseer Network ten times fast!

[–]WhyYouBullyMe_ 85 points86 points  (2 children)

Wake up babe, new copypasta just dropped

[–]LelChiha x is canon 120 points121 points  (1 child)

"Her best team uses Bennett and Xiangling" 😭

[–]HalberdHammer 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Turns out the real Pyro Archon fragmented her divinity into these 2 characters

[–]-gold99999 290 points291 points  (1 child)

You forgot the part where you spend 5 minutes rearranging artifacts for your Meng Yao national team because we're still waiting on the Artifact Loadout to be added anytime now

[–]a_sacrilegiousboi 26 points27 points  (0 children)

gearing bedge

[–]IamKyni 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Bruh, stop LEAKING THE FUTURE!

[–]Mast3rBait3rPro 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Obviously this is a shitpost but this is genuinely my favorite post on the main sub ever

[–]LatePhilosophy 42 points43 points  (0 children)

At 365 released characters the game's production slows to a crawl as the majority of the company's funding is redirected to the team responsible for celebrating every character's birthday, now expected to output content daily.

[–]Xistence16Claymore Gang 72 points73 points  (1 child)

The most realistic part of this is raiden being only c2

[–]BigCrew1047 100 points101 points  (8 children)

And then finally in 2046 the game commits suicide and i destroy my computer and go outside eating grass

[–]akif_09 87 points88 points  (5 children)

Bold of you to assume we would still have grass in 2046

[–]lock_me_up_now 29 points30 points  (3 children)

We have moss on stone, lick the stone.

[–]cerenine 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Moss machine broke. We got artificially engineered algae, take it or leave it.

[–]naufalap 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I prefer natural microplastic evolved rice thank you

[–]WaffleCorp But it was me, Dio-nya! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Zhongli has entered the chat

[–]JAntaresN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For real tho, it’s 2047 rn, and i am living in of dem space colonies. Things are wild out there cuz the libruls are protesting some shit about autonomy from Earth and new types and shit. They just wasting their time imo. But i’ll just stay indoors where its safe.

[–]GraveRobberX 9 points10 points  (1 child)

2047 Genshin x Honkai Impacted II.

[–]themancapitano 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Can't wait for 160th anniversary in 2180.

[–]I-etranger 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Anniversary gift is 1 Primogem for every year the game has been live. 👍

[–]BARNBARTHY 28 points29 points  (1 child)

!remindme 12 years

[–]RemindMeBot 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I will be messaging you in 12 years on 2036-02-02 08:40:05 UTC to remind you of this link

19 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.


Info Custom Your Reminders Feedback

[–]Agonyy95 23 points24 points  (0 children)

“3 minutes invulnerability and 8 second vulnerability window” I’m dead because it’s like that for some bosses 💀

[–]MartenBroadcloak19 Mommy Impact 60 points61 points  (1 child)

It dies instantly to C2 Raiden.

And our goddess saw that it was good.

[–]storyspriteSanest Furina Main 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen.

[–]Cactus-Hero 17 points18 points  (2 children)

...and Noelle is still a maid.

[–]Mofartz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And we still dont have Dornman port, people are saying Mondstadt already has Dragonspine, but the New mondstadt are Will arrive in version 16.X

[–]Jnliew 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Wow, you have cooked a good one here.

I literally do have Arknights running while playing Genshin/Star Rail. Truly another QoL nightmare of a game that I love.

How I wish more live-service/long-development-support games have QoL/system feature roadmaps.
For how bad Paradox Interactive can be, at least when playing their games, i know what they're planning to work on, just not when.

[–]Comprehensive-Food15 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hu tao gets another resonance buff and another 3 characters that indirectly buff her and an event weapon better than r5 dragonsbane

[–]FellowCloud17 Aspiring Beidou Main 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Top quality post. This is why I browse the subreddit. Well done my friend.

[–]TChen114 Beiguang/Nindou 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It is 16th Lantern Rite Festival. We can still only choose one out of the twenty-two 4* Liyue characters to join our party. Guizhong is still dead, though we've had a 5* puppet version of her created by Sandrone. Xiao still hangs out outside of Liyue Harbor. The Jade Chamber has been nearly destroyed a fourth time. Ningguang and Beidou appear together in their Lantern Rite attire (Beidou got hers 4 years ago after the Liyue-Inazuma Crisis story arc)

[–]DailyMilo 13 points14 points  (5 children)

Arknights on auto deploy for 6 hours

ah so 1-7 is still the best place to farm after all these years

[–]RaidriarDrakeI want Fu Tao to penetrate me with her Staff of H̶o̶m̶o̶ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

we'll forever farm those rocks.

[–]D0naught 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Meng Yao is just a petra holder for XL obviously. Foul Legacy Childe National is still best.

[–]NBiDM 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The fact that in 2036 you only have Raiden C2, going for that beautiful f2p experience, I feel so seen.

[–]niceworkthere gyat for the rizzler 13 points14 points  (0 children)

2036, the initial loading screen still cannot be set to black and keeps flashbanging players. Some swear they hear the faint sound of Wei chuckling when it happens.

But players understand. "Inverting the screen requires very complicated spaghetti code." "If a programmer were to step out of line and do QoS fixes on their own, surely Wei would cut their baijiu rations." "You're ungrateful for the QoS fixes we've received over this decade! Remember, we now even have a second text option to pet the dogs!"

[–]Ambitious_Jello 10 points11 points  (7 children)

More seriously- what will happen after they're done with the story? Will they keep the game on?

[–]PointmanW 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Since Lumine/Aether seem to be world hopper, they would just hop into a new world with a brand new storyline.

kinda like how FFXIV move to a new continent after the Hydaelyn-Zodiark arc ended.

[–]LunarBeast77 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Watch the next world is gonna have not-China in there

[–]kimori 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Complete with its 34 bonus areas

[–]kdlt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Still absolutely hilarious to me we went to multiple other dimensions and planets before.. going to America.

[–]ObjectiveNet2 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Teyvat Chapter Storyline Preview: Travail|Genshin Impact

[–]Admiral_Axe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well, the story for Honkai 3rd is also over and they keep going.  

They will start what they call honkai 3rd part 2 which takes place on Mars and gets a new main character. (Don't know much more, I stopped playing after the main story was over)

So genshin could very well hop to another planet 

[–]Popinguj 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Considering the gnostic nature of Genshin's story I suspect that the original storyline is just a prologue to something bigger. Archon War on a cosmic scale idk.

Even then, there is a whole planet outside of the continent of Teyvat. They can just keep adding more regions.

[–]OweTheHughManatee no! DONT let 'em cook! 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Okay but is Paimon the Unknown God or not?? Did Lisa die?? What are Aloy's constellations?? I need answers!

[–]farkika18 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Aloy’s constellationS? We only got one so far and that only gives her charged attacks 2% crit rate. But it cuts down her damage by 25%. It’s fine tho. People are trying to theory craft about giving her a pyro delusion. Maybe that will save her and we will be able to do abyss floor 10 chamber 1 in under 2 minutes with Aloy.

[–]IronPheasant 77 points78 points  (8 children)

... it is deeply depressing to think that Fantasy China would still be getting at least two new characters every single year for the Lantern Rite, for decades, just because of national pride. We could be on our third planet, with a whole new set of elements (I dunno what can even come after Umbra, Lumen, Chrono, Cosmos, Ferro, etc.. the well is only so deep)... and here comes the brand new exciting Adeptus: 'Johnny Fishfuck'. He's some kind of Koi or whatever, slightly more different than the other Koi adepti by virtue of being a different color.

... at some point maybe it'll get old. It's a nice celebration of the game's launch, but diminishing returns are real.

Anyway, ArKnight's auto-deploy going smoothly for five seconds let alone six hours is pretty far-fetched.

[–]RaidriarDrakeI want Fu Tao to penetrate me with her Staff of H̶o̶m̶o̶ 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Anyway, ArKnight's auto-deploy going smoothly for five seconds let alone six hours is pretty far-fetched.

What? My Kokodayo missing the crit which barely kills the drone enabling me to narrowly clear the stage in 3 stars is faulty and inconsistent? Impossible.

[–]Xistence16Claymore Gang 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Me when i look away from annihilation for 5 seconds and Kroos and Firewatch are dead and the entire formation is collapsing

[–]Gldnmiles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Johnny Fishfuck" made me chuckle out loud in class, amazing

[–]AshiroFlo Beiguang 15 points16 points  (1 child)

shuyu finally releases as our next cryo 5 star after seeing her grow up in the last 12 lantern rites

[–]ObjectiveNet2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That would be good.

[–]Witty-Play9499 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The year is 2036 and I hear rumours from people that genshin will finally get artifact loadouts done right the next patch. Fingers crossed

[–]ysachk 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Smh the devs should've learned from her sister HI3

Last patch we just got another S selector and i finally can SSS my elysia herscher of human ego, but I'm lacking 5th copy of her 3rd exclusive weapon Key of Cuteness and Funniness. Her full rotation buff damage output is good, but still can't beat the new character charged attack damage, at least i can still retain in redlotus rank 9

The story now expands to J-4821, a planet in another bubble universe. We meet another Bronya clone Haxxor Butterfly, but judging from the voice it's actually Seele who become schizo and took over Bronya's identity after her death Hopefully she's the key to 100% wotan's progression in the open world map after hinting that in APHO 7 she timetravelled to the year before Kevin's project stigma

[–]CrunchyKarl 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're probably halfway through Chapter 2 in 2036

[–]Both-Return-2244 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ella is still an 10yo trying to talk to hilichurls

[–]basch152 4 points5 points  (0 children)

10/10 copy pasta with one issue. 

 it talks about using its resin when logging in, then you go and fight the boss for the newest character 

 this plot hole drops my rating to 0/10

[–]Popinguj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wait for its 3 minute flying-invulnerability phase to end before it reaches its 8-second vulnerability window.

I must say that Genshin's normal bosses are rather fine in that regard. Surprisingly not many of them have long invulnerability phases. In fact, most of them were hypostases?

Weekly bosses are horrible though. I'm sick and tired of wasting my time on an invulnerability phase instead of, you know, beating the boss. Raiden boss fight could've been so good...

[–]FakeSypha 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's so real it hurts...

[–]VongQuocKhanh 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Don’t they have something big coming in 2030?

[–]firemancer_ 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Yes we will get free 30 fowls :))

[–]Frostgaurdian0 in memory of the destroyed world. 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yes they do it is called disappointment and greed.

[–]LelChiha x is canon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

5 XP books and a sweet madame.

[–]AlexsterCrowley 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How is the post and the comments both absolute gold!? In the main sub!?

[–]ClassicTraining7261 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Funny but true. I think... Nay, I hope that people are slowly starting to realize that Genshin had become a stale shit with no way out. That it's developers hate us and use this game only as a "safe" cash cow. But I'm not sure.

For the "Why are you still playing if you don't like it" clowns: I'm used to it, I guess. Nothing's better on the market right now... It's a daily routing for over 3 years, you can't easily quit that. Also Clorinde keeps me interested. And it's not like I'm paying anything. Not for a veeery long time and I doubt I ever will again.

[–]Scarredhard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is amazing and scarily could be almost what would happen

[–]a_random_simp_4x4 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Meng Yao?? 😨 Bro what is he doing here?!?

[–]Lost_Classic_5731 neuvilette stole my heart 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Bro can’t stop manipulating shit

[–]Asneekyfatcat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't forget Tectone is still demanding content from Hoyoverse, a company that now consists of Cao, 3 interns and an AI that generates a world expansion and 2 characters every update. None of them actually use social media.

[–]AlwaysUpvote123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"It dies instantly to C2 Raiden"

Some things never change.

[–]umamiluv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is drama. Loved it

[–]narocroc10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love it.

[–]Vast-Combination9613 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you not use portable waypoint for the boss? Did they remove them?

[–]missy20201AR60 | 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jin Guangyao reading this post:

[–]kaison3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

based

[–]alanalan426 dadada! 弹起来吧!蹦蹦炸弹!HAHAHAH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And the Nintendo release is soon

[–]BlueRose644 Like a Lemon Cheesecake! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The year is 2036 and I'm still waiting for my first Dehya to drop from Standard and for Rosaria to get a hangout.

[–]platinumchaser300 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think Genshin would be offline by then while Genshin Impact 2 is alive and kicking. But only the title changes and everything you said would still hold true lol

[–]Zeppo82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

... it's 2036 and I still have no Kuki. 😭

[–]Batia88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tartaglia still in S-Tier

[–]Khoakuma Fu Tao 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Otto Armageddon lore: He has a dark, secret past.

[–]Destination_7146 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lore team working overtime with word count a clean three words over the average.

[–]mkgdm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And they still haven't released ChadPeakatano, Who shits in Celestia and whose latrine is in the Abyss.

[–]exiler5129 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why not put portable waypoint near the boss? Easy for you to farm ascension material for your character.

[–]According_Award_6770 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I laughed

[–]MaitieS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LMAO

[–]Balager47 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it is meant to be doom posting, but more Liyue expansions and Hu Tao staying relevant sounds amazing to me.

[–]katbelleinthedark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I would still unironically enjoy this. xD

[–]hyrulia -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People still play Geo in 2036?

[–]NoBluey -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Lol! Probably copy pasta but this is hilarious

[–]Lazy_Nectarine7434 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

All I saw was a wall of text written with excessive amounts of cope

[–]RaineMurasaki -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Bold of you asume the game will last that long. It will be Genshin Impact Part 2 Now in Space, but not like Honkai Star Rail which now their power creep is so high that even newest characters are weak in the next patch.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

What HSR players think genshin is like in a nutshell

[–]vermillion-orange Yes, C4! 1 more year to go~ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the game officially called "undead" now?

[–]Liniis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inaccurate, none of the daily quests have had their spot taken by 16 different characters' story quests.

[–]cirej12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh one of my favorite boss, the BESFARF

[–]DearInjury6842 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i love the added Arknights tidbit in the end ahahaha

[–]ThiccDaddy1198 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can someone explain this Google Classroom thing?🥲

[–]esztersunday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love these! Epic Seven had a similar post too. Thanks!

[–]Hoovyisspy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was waiting to see Bennett still being broken in 2036

[–]Normal-Ambition-9813 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't believe that you actually squeezed an AK roast there at the end 🤣. Its 2036 and QoL is still trash i see.

[–]Radusili 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With server transfer being on the list for maybe 2040 since 50% of the players are on the wrong server by now.

That is if we don't find a way to lower latencies even more by then. Now that I think about it. Maybe Hoyo is actually investing into breaking physics in secret so they don't have to implement that.