My bf (32m) asked me 1 year into our relationship what my (27f) body count is. Previously to this he hadn't asked the questions but has said he gave me opportunities.

When I was 18-20 I had approximately 10 sexual experiences, all drunk, 'black out' type, party, and a horrible horrible dissociative time of my life. Each experience traumatised me. I was in an extremely dark place of my life and I lost my virginity to sexually assault at a party so I think from there it spiralled down.

For the last 8 or so years however, I have been completely sober, I don't do casual Hook ups parties or anything. I live a quite peaceful life, no social type online media.

Recently my bf asked me the question of body count, when he asked me I sort of blacked out and had to recall all these past experiences, they came out slowly over time since telling him an approximate number.

That was six months ago, since then however he has been constantly off with me and still upset. He thinks I lied and deceived him and he doesn't like my past. He said if he had of known it would have given him the choice to proceed with the relationship or leave.

Ever since he asked me the question I have had to relieve things more and more daily, it has been extremely painful for me. When we where together I did not once ever have a memory or a thought to share with him this time in my life. To me it feels like I must have blocked it out or something.

I have been absolutely transparent with him about this but he is still being passively hateful toward me.

I can't even ask AITAH because I didn't ever purposely hide this from him, but AITAH? Should I have been more thoughtful in remembering things or something. I don't know what to do anymore, all perspectives and help welcome.

Edit- please note that now my past deeply ashames me, I absolutely am disgusted and will never be that person again

Edit- hi I just wanted to share that I haven't yet replied to each comment, but the support and help that everyone here has provided means so much to me, thank you for your time. and the opposing feedback is also heard and appreciated.