I've (31m) been married to my wife Sage (30f) for 6 years and we have two kids together. I'm a chef and I love to cook but generally we take turns cooking so neither gets burned out or feels like it's a chore (this is especially helpful when we host others because allergies are big in both our families). When she was pregnant, though, I cooked for her all the time because pregnancy was not easy for Sage and I wanted her to be able to relax and enjoy food instead of being too tired and sick to eat, which is how she was in the very early stages of her first pregnancy. Everyone knew about it but Sage's sister Gwen (34f) brought it up an excessive amount and said she couldn't believe Sage was getting waited on during her pregnancy and that "a dude would do that for his wife". It was a touch annoying how much she brought it up.

Now Gwen is pregnant with her first child and she called up out of the blue after her pregnancy announcement to say I should cook and send meals over for her like I did for Sage. At first I thought she was trying, and failing, to be funny, but nope, she was as serious as a heart attack. I told her I wasn't cooking for her and brought up how random and inappropriate it was to ask like that. She told me we're family and she's pregnant and I should want her to rest as much as I had wanted Sage resting during both of her pregnancies. I told her Sage is my wife, so it's different and I told her she has a husband to cook for her if that's what she wants.

She told me her husband would never and I should try being a good BIL. I told her BIL doesn't equal spouse.

Gwen tried to talk Sage into convincing me but the two of them were never close so Sage just rolled her eyes and told her where to go. Even she couldn't believe Gwen is for real.

Gwen's reaction to being told no by both of us was to run to her parents and tell them I refused to help her out and she told them she was struggling and had just wanted help. They asked why I couldn't do it occasionally since Gwen's husband is too much of an ass to do it. I told them it was a lot to ask and we weren't that close to Gwen.

When Gwen realized her parents hadn't convinced me or convinced Sage to convince me, she called back up and said I was an ass for not helping my family and for rubbing her husband's lack of consideration for her in her face.

I'm starting to feel like this will become such a huge deal and now I'm doubting myself. AITA?

EDIT: Yes, she knew the exact details about what she had to do. I had told her everything.

When my wife Lisa and I had begun dating a few years ago, we discussed various expectations we'd owe each other. She has two children: Alissa, and Rachel.

For my side, I said that she'd have to help take care of my parents if they fall sick. As in we'd move them to our house & she'd look after them. She agreed and said that she'd expect me to pay for her daughters' college completely.

I agreed.

I paid for Alissa's college last year. I also helped in other ways, like giving 40k to her brother. I had said he doesn't have to return the money. Some time back I talked to her about moving my parents in.

She refused. She said "it's misogynist to expect a woman to act as a caregiver".

I moved out. But when they got well, they insisted that I return.

Lisa talked to me yesterday about paying for Rachel's college. I refused. She got mad, and said that I cannot affect her education because she was not adhering to my misogynistic expectations. I did not budge, however, and she's mad at me.

AITA?