I am not the original poster. This is a repost sub. Also first time poster, long time reader so apologies for any issues/formatting errors!

repost, original post by /u/DasStrood - Nov 2021

Mood: Hopeful

I (24 F) was given up by my parents as a baby, because they were both eighteen and had no way to properly care for me. I didn't have a very good life until I got into college off of a sports scholarship and it was then that I decided to investigate my past. I found out that my parents were still together, that they had two other kids a lot younger than me and had overall become very successful in life.

I started to feel very resentful and although I almost reached out, I decided that I couldn't. I still kept tabs on them to see how they were doing, how my siblings are and stuff. When I found out that my mother died, I did attend the funeral a few weeks ago. It was a big funeral, a lot of people attended but it wasn't packed cause. The thing is, other than my hair being jet black, I look just like my mother did.

So, when people were leaving, I got spotted by my mother's hysterical great-aunt who assumed I was my mother. I excused myself but I'm pretty sure I exposed who I was cause just a few days ago, my father managed to find me and reached out to me.

When we met at a coffee shop three days ago, he apologized for having given me up, not reaching out sooner and ended up crying over not getting to raise me. Its the first time I saw a grown man cry. He asked me if I needed anything from a car to a place to stay but I couldn't help but feel like I was embarrassing him. So I said goodbye and left but I've received a lot of texts and voicemails from him since then asking why I left early, if I'll meet him again but don't feel like I can talk to him. Then I got a phone call from a woman saying she was his cousin and my aunt and that I should have stayed away because he's inconsolable now and I'm an asshole for choosing a funeral to reveal myself.

I feel like my aunt is right because I've done is brought him new grief after he just lost his wife.

UPDATE - Dec 2021, one month later

So I'm posting this cause I said I would in a month. Things happened and its gotten better.

The first thing was my aunt (dad's cousin) phoned me like the day after and apologized to me. She told me she practically raised my dad and seeing him like he was made her act without thinking. She told me my dad wanted to see me again and would appreciate it if I would meet her too. I told her how hurtful what she said was and I needed time before seeing her but did agree to meet him.

Fast forward a week I go to meet my dad. I kept rereading everyone's advice and using it to prepare what to say. He was more composed. I told him it hurt me so much to be abandoned and it hurt seeing how successful he was and it made feel not wanted and meeting him made me want to be forgotten. He told me he never forgot about me and showed me a small baby photo of me he keeps in his wallet and told me he still sees me as his baby even though I'm grown. He told me he and my mom used to cry for me every day after giving me up but they still prayed for me every day even until the end. He once again told me whatever I wanted, he could give me if I'd let him. I told him I wanted no money or anything from him and I didn't intend to reveal myself. He told me it was okay if I wanted nothing to do with him but asked I be a part of my mom's great-aunt's life as she hadn't stopped asking about me since exposing me and gave me her address.

He insisted I was always wanted but he always thought Id been adopted and didn't want to ruin my life. And that's something a lot of you said, so I was prepared for it. He asked me to forgive him for not being there for me and said he'd do whatever to be my dad. I guess I realized I could push him away or finally have what I wanted. I told him my teenage fantasy that he'd come save me from the orphanage and we both started crying. He told me we can save each other and I hugged him and forgave him.

Since then I started seeing him more, visit my great-great aunt (every other day (she's started calling me by baby nickname she had for my mom). My dad also started coming to the gym that me, my fiancee and my best friend started after grad. He has been trying to do all the dad stuff I missed out on that we can still do like teaching me how to drive, business advice and stuff. I also finally don't feel so upset over my siblings getting a better life than me. He also got us both into counseling and I've finally been able to talk about all my years in the system before I aged out. He is hosting a New Years Party and asked me to come so I can meet all my relatives, cousins and siblings and yes, I am going.

So I want to thank everybody that prepared me for how he felt in giving me up and how he felt in getting to see me again. I think that if you all hadn't pointed that out to me, I probably would have just tried to stay hidden and I wouldn't have finally gotten a dad.