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We live in the Ace Attorney universe (i.redd.it)

submitted by aceupmysleeve013

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[–]Mattshodo 2618 points2619 points  (22 children)

Most of these are just being asked so it stays on record, for future clarity, not because the attorney is stupid.

[–]EquivalentInflation 1911 points1912 points  (10 children)

Yeah, it’s fun to mock the stupid attorney, but in reality, they just have to be painfully, deliberately clear in getting even the most basic facts recorded. It’s kinda like programming come to think of it.

[–]SNUFFGURLL 996 points997 points  (3 children)

Yeah. Note also a lot of questions are asked to trip up witnesses, or rather to document a witness contradicting themselves for the benefit of the Attorney’s case, so therefore repetitive, stupid sounding questions, are often present in court records like these. It’s kind of hilarious, honestly.

[–]JitterySquirrel 279 points280 points  (0 children)

This too, get a reaction out of a false statement

[–]digletttrainer 139 points140 points  (1 child)

You can see it working in the fifth one.

[–]SNUFFGURLL 150 points151 points  (0 children)

That doesn’t even sound like an intentional attempt at getting the witness to slip, the witness just seems to have done that on their own.

[–]alteredxenon 183 points184 points  (0 children)

The mistake many people make is to read legalese as a regular language, while in reality it's a code.

It also can create an illusion that "everyone can do it" and "why do I need a lawyer". Or leads to "I'll write everything myself, and you'll just check if it's correct".

[–]ThatOneWeirdName 106 points107 points  (2 children)

I have this constantly in arguments. I have to establish base facts so I can clearly show them contradicting themselves and they just refuse to play ball, it’s infuriating

[–]Hollow--- 29 points30 points  (1 child)

If they refuse to even establish the facts, then they already know that they're in the wrong.

[–]bip776 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I read that as the witness refusing to contradict themselves, but now I think your interpretation might have been what they were going for

[–]Nighttime-Turnip 64 points65 points  (1 child)

The thing is... We don't do that in Europe. Common sense applies to things that are said in court. Sure there are clarifications and things have to be said in a certain way, especially commands given by the judges. But we don't need to reword a sentence 17 times so nobody can be sued because someone said a word with a funny accent and that now means the murderer gets to go free. The American system is exceptionally wordy and anal, and through that is more unpredictable and dangerous for lay people.

[–]M8asonmiller 2 points3 points  (0 children)

common sense isn't real

[–]Isaac_Chade 315 points316 points  (1 child)

Was going to say this. These questions are all about putting things on record or showing a clear chain of events or cause and effect. Yeah, in the every day conversation we can all assume autopsies are done on dead people, or that you have to be present to have your picture taken, but in a court or law you have to demonstrate or prove even common sense stuff.

Also pretty sure that last one isn't real, it's a joke that's as old as systems of law.

[–]Limeila 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yeah it would make no sense for the brain to be in a jar before the autopsy even began

[–]BryanTheClod 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Also, prosecutors will sometimes ask witnesses stupid questions to get them in the pattern of saying yes or no. So when they ask something actually relevant to the case, the witness will give them a quick answer.

[–]SergeantFlip 103 points104 points  (1 child)

This, plus they can’t ask leading questions. “Your children are all girls?” could be objected to by the other attorney. So instead it becomes “were there any girls?”

[–]bartonar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean, while you're technically correct, if someone objects to a leading question on a uncontested and uncontroversial fact, they're a moron who's just annoying the judge.

[–]bewildered_forks 95 points96 points  (5 children)

I would be shocked if any of these appear in actual court transcripts. This has been floating around for at least as long as the internet has existed.

[–]ABG-56 57 points58 points  (2 children)

I mean the book was written in 1992, so it is a year older, but the court system is also a bit older than that

[–]MonkeyPanls 16 points17 points  (0 children)

1992,

a year older,

*Cries in USENET*

[–]45077 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i had internet theee years before it existed. nice.

[–]miezmiezmiez 21 points22 points  (1 child)

The setups for sassy punchlines read very much like scripted jokes, yeah - even if some of these questions have actually been asked in courts, the exchanges have clearly been embellished.

They're also kind of dated, talking about a bearded 'female' belonging in the 'circus' strikes me as very 1990s

[–]Grand_Masterpiece_11 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The book was apparently written in 1992,so that checks out.

[–]Neat_Art9336 1240 points1241 points  (9 children)

The oral one is actually incredibly frustrating. Some people will gesture or point. “Where is the pain?” Then they will point. You have to verbalize it so it can be recorded / documented. You tell them that and they still don’t do it. So you have to be like, “You are pointing to your left knee, is that correct?”

And then the fuckers will nod.

[–]SNUFFGURLL 409 points410 points  (4 children)

Sometimes it’s hard for some people to verbalise what they feel, but other times people are just stupid..

[–]Hadespuppy 242 points243 points  (1 child)

A lot of it is habit too. People are used to face- to-face communication involving a whole ton of non-verbal components like gestures and pointing and such. Even with witness prep, the layman is still going to revert back to that habit, especially in a stressful situation like being on the witness stand.

[–]Demonking335 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The former is how it is for me. I have an as-of-yet-unknown mental condition which I was born with that makes my emotions distant, and makes it hard for me to express or vocalize what I’m feeling, whether it be emotions or physical pain.

[–]JakeYashen -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree, u/SNUFFGURLL

[–]Heikold 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Advantage of being Matt Murdock.

[–]GildedFenix 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Wording of the demand was bad on that one. "You must speak to answer the questions." would have yield better results imho.

[–]Shane1023 7 points8 points  (1 child)

My mom works in a hospital so growing up I learned pretty quickly how go verbalize what was wrong it wasn't until recently that I learned this is not a common skill.

I had early onset appendicitis and I went to the ER cuz pain. Doc asks me what's wrong and I just launch into this monolog about when it started, how it hurts, etc. Dude was stunned and explained that he normally has to do a lot more work than that to get exactly what's wrong.

[–]niamarkusa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

patient of the year everybody

[–]TheChainLink2 904 points905 points  (25 children)

I like to imagine this is all the same lawyer.

[–]McPhucketBucket 344 points345 points  (4 children)

saul

[–]deleeuwlc 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Mnew! Nenenenene New! Mnew Nene New!

[–]McPhucketBucket 18 points19 points  (0 children)

when I first read this the only thought that came to mind was "catboy saul" and I had no issues with it

[–]MisterBastian 1 point2 points  (1 child)

what about all the same witness

[–]TotalyNotTony 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Phoenix Wright

[–]Doki_Literature 102 points103 points  (16 children)

They were all from Phoenix Wright, a dumb lawyer who has to use spiritual abilities to actually solve cases

[–]E_MC_2__ 36 points37 points  (15 children)

to be fair, the cases were literally impossible otherwise, as most were tied to a case heavily involved with spiritual shit

[–]DrRagnorocktopus 43 points44 points  (10 children)

The most bullshit one was the one where Maya was put on trial for murdering that surgeon. The photo should have been the nail in the coffin for the case. Either The Court believes in the Kurain technique, and therefore Maya didn't kill the suspect, the dead women did, or The Court doesn't believe in the Kurai Technique, and therefore the woman in the photo shown killing the surgeon couldn't have been Maya. Either way Maya didn't kill the surgeon.

[–]E_MC_2__ 15 points16 points  (0 children)

we dont know the law for mediums and how responsibility is given based on what the dead does with the medium’s body. it’s evident some control by the medium is possible but since we dont know if they can just cease channeling (plus laws may be made on incorrect assumptions and therefore be counterproductive) they couldve still convicted off that

[–]Nirdy_Birdy_706 0 points1 point  (8 children)

But because they didn't know who actually killed the surgeon, than it could have only been their first guess

[–]DrRagnorocktopus 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Have you actually played through/seen that case? There is literally 0 excuse for it other than it being a complete kangaroo court. The photo evidence showed a woman murdering the surgeon that not even Matt Murdock would mistake for Maya. Franziska's excuse was that the Kurain Channeling Technique turns the spirit medium into the dead person they're channeling. OK, so we have two options. Either the Kurain Channeling Technique is bogus(there is a legal precedent for this with regards to the DL-6 incident) and the woman in the photo could not have been Maya, or The Kurain Channeling Technique works, and so it was not Maya that killed the surgeon, it was Mimi Miney, who had taken over Maya's body at the time.

[–]Sams59k 2 points3 points  (6 children)

You're saying that like Matt often confuses people

[–]DrRagnorocktopus 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Dude, he's blind.

[–]Sams59k 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I know. He's also Daredevil so what does that have to do with anything

[–]DrRagnorocktopus 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Can't echolocate a 2d photo bro.

[–]Doki_Literature 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I'm referring to the locket that you use to have them tell something that they want hidden badly. The lock minigame in the second and 3rd game

[–]E_MC_2__ 0 points1 point  (2 children)

ah yes that bullshit magatama

[–]Doki_Literature 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The plot device magatama

[–]E_MC_2__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

deus ex magatama

[–]JustAnotherJames3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And the same witness.

[–]robocup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Ken M of lawyers

[–]Disfuncional_Toaster 1183 points1184 points  (9 children)

Somebody made these quotes (and more!) into actual scenes from Ace Attorney

[–]asfasfa123 349 points350 points  (2 children)

Every conversation instantly become better if you turned them into scenes from ace attorney lol

[–]Mathsboy2718 258 points259 points  (1 child)

hits table a few times

drinks coffee

hits the table again

Yes

[–]Stargazer_199 12 points13 points  (0 children)

throws coffee

gets new coffee slid over

drinks coffee

hits table a few times

[–]aceupmysleeve013[S] 257 points258 points  (0 children)

Best comment ever, thanks for sharing!

[–]SubterraneanTarantul 47 points48 points  (0 children)

"Doctor, I'm sure you are an honest and intelligent man."

"Thank you, if I weren't under oath I'd return the compliment."

[–]noonesorange 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that out of the entire series to choose from, you chose the rapid fire himbo off.

[–]PedroThePinata 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I was wondering why my inner attorney voice sounded like that...

[–]WhatIsYourCrummyName 12 points13 points  (0 children)

objection.lol is where to do it if anybody wants to make these themselves

[–]Blazekraken 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Those vids on yt were the reason how I knew half of these dialogues.

[–]JitterySquirrel 169 points170 points  (0 children)

Somebody informed me that these kinds of stupid questions are important in court because the absolute truth is important, there is no concept of common sense or realistic assumption. They record these to remove even 1% of doubt

They need the witness to make exact statements. Yes the person was dead. Yes removing the heart killed them. Yes there is no way for a man with their heart removed to live.

[–]ABigSoftE 432 points433 points  (20 children)

I'm curious, do people for whom the cause of death is incredibly obvious still get an autopsy?

Like if someone gets thrown from a motorcycle and erasers their head on the pavement, are they still going to open the chest up to take a look?

[–]BryanTheClod 123 points124 points  (2 children)

An autopsy can be useful for examining the circumstances around a death. If a dude crashes a motorcycle and brains himself, it might be worth knowing if he had alcohol in his system.

[–]FlamingHotdog77 8 points9 points  (1 child)

But why does it matter if he's already dead?

[–]Rock_man_bears_fan 122 points123 points  (0 children)

DUIs can influence who’s at fault in an accident and who would receive an insurance payout.

[–]morbnowhere 340 points341 points  (3 children)

Oral

[–]asfasfa123 182 points183 points  (6 children)

I'm curious, do people for whom the cause of death is incredibly obvious still get an autopsy?

I dont know about america, but here sometimes even suspicious death doesnt get autopsy if the family doesnt consent lol

[–]noneoen 61 points62 points  (5 children)

religious reasons probably, in Amerika the family of a dead person is allowed to refuse an autopsy on religious grounds.

[–]hotbimess 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sounds like an excellent way to get away with murder

[–]Pixielo 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Not in cases where a crime might have occurred.

[–]Demonking335 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Why did you spell America with a k?

[–]noneoen 3 points4 points  (1 child)

autocorrect did that, sorry

[–]memecrusader_ 46 points47 points  (0 children)

That was a plot point on Monk. The killer shot the victim so that they wouldn’t preform a Tox Screen and find the poison in his blood.

[–]noneoen 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Yes, actually. an autopsy isnt just to determine the cause of death, its done for other reasons aswell

[–]SNUFFGURLL 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Depends, but usually autopsies are done in case there’s any doubt to the cause of death/if there might have been something else going on that contributed to it.

[–]HairyHeartEmoji 15 points16 points  (1 child)

No. I had 4 deaths in my family, all 4 very obvious causes of death, none received an autopsy.

Eg when you have a 65yr old with a history of cardiac arrest suddenly die of a cardiac arrest, you don't need to ask many questions

[–]danni_shadow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my dad passed and he was only 59, but had diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and took like 13 different medicines, but still lived a fairly sedentary life drinking lots of beer, eating tons of pizza, and smoking packs a day.

When he passed, they said, "It was probably a stroke or heart attack due to lifestyle. Do you want us to check?" and my uncle said no. So they didn't.

[–]Uberpastamancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There could be a question of whether the dead biker was, for example, high at the time

[–]LuxAlpha 109 points110 points  (1 child)

The last one lmao

[–]bobobosco77 29 points30 points  (0 children)

it took me a bit to get it but the dude came up with it on the fly... impressive af

[–]_Spamus_ 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Yall should go watch some perry mason. The mc is a lawyer who ends up asking questions like these that are supposed to sound obvious or irrelevant at first and then later be used to stump a witness who is obviously the murderer. Also I think it was an inspiration for the ace attorney games due to the mc being a lawyer who often stumbles upon murders and then has to both prove his client innocent and then also solve the crime for some reason.

[–]Nuada-Argetlam 262 points263 points  (19 children)

is this legal!?

[–]asfasfa123 236 points237 points  (17 children)

In ace attorney, im almost convinced that the only illegal thing there is murder

Have you seen what they did in the courtroom?

[–]SirKorm 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Like franziska should have lost her badge years ago with the amount and variety of people she whipped

[–]Nuada-Argetlam 34 points35 points  (15 children)

no, because I've never actually played.

[–]MisirterE 162 points163 points  (14 children)

Just as a shortlist:

  • Frankly absurd quantities of perjury from almost everyone involved
  • Miles Edgeworth has "updated" an autopsy report (the process of an autopsy involves cutting the body to pieces and examining each piece. you only get one.)
  • Phoenix Wright has, on multiple occasions, recieved help from his dead mentor through the means of her spirit medium sister
  • Wright has cross-examined a parrot
  • Manfred von Karma has witness-trained a parrot
  • Manfred has tazed Wright in order to steal evidence
  • Wright has attempted to perform his job while suffering from amnesia (he still wins the fucking case)
  • Franziska von Karma brings a whip into the courtroom and uses it liberally on everyone, including the opposing attorney and also the judge
  • Franziska whips Wright so severely at one point that he passes out
  • Franziska has called a ventriloquist's dummy as a witness (no, not the puppeteer, she calls the actual puppet by name)
  • More than one case has entertained the possibility that the killer simply flew away
  • The judge, who is sixty-something, has made advances on several witnesses, all of which being significantly younger than him, one of which being sixteen (we just... we just don't talk about Turnabout Big Top, ok?)
  • Wright has used the fact that he is being blackmailed as evidence to verify the identity of a killer, during the very trial that he is being blackmailed in order to win
  • Wright has eaten evidence inside the courtroom (prior to becoming a lawyer, mind)
  • Luke Atmey deliberately gets convicted for theft in order to secure an alibi that acquits him of murder (it backfires and he gets convicted of both and the real thief makes it out scot-free)
  • Godot NoLastName throws hot coffee at Wright on multiple occasions
  • Furio Tigre disguises himself as Wright in order to secure a conviction for one of Wright's previous clients (this somehow works on everyone despite the fact that Tigre is the only person in the world who has bright red skin, and his acting is outright confirmed to be terrible)
  • An actual fucking exorcism is performed in the courtroom
  • Wright has managed to get the prosecutor convicted of murder on multiple occasions

And that's just the original trilogy. There's four more games with Wright in them, and yet more with Wright's ancestor.

[–]Nuada-Argetlam 49 points50 points  (0 children)

there's so much wrong with all of this. I take less issue with the spiritual stuff, though- like the mentor thing and the exorcism.

is that, like, illegal? no, it's just cool.

[–]Doki_Literature 9 points10 points  (8 children)

What about the 3D PW games?

[–]MisirterE 39 points40 points  (6 children)

I have not played those myself, so I cannot provide anywhere near as comprehensive a list. Although I did play the demo for the fifth game, so I do have one thing.

  • A robot (who is a witness) casually disassembles and reassembles a bomb inside the courtroom (the bomb is not disarmed, and I think it actually explodes at some point after the demo ends?)

[–]Doki_Literature 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I'm pretty sure you also forgot to add a prosecutor throwing his cup of coffee on Phoenix's face in the trilogy

[–]MisirterE 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah that does happen, hang on

[–]E_MC_2__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

like a good 15 times total

[–]Maeto_Diego 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Objection! That witness is not a robot, he just has a really weird pair of goggles.

A later case in the same game actually does have us cross examine a robot though, and also an orca

[–]MisirterE 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's been a while since I played that demo, I just remembered that the guy really felt like a robot.

[–]Maeto_Diego 5 points6 points  (0 children)

His voice was a text to speech as well, so I can understand why. He definitely tried to act like a robot

[–]Loyal2NES 5 points6 points  (0 children)

  • Two defense attorneys, Apollo and Athena, have powers of hyperperception, which they use during Cross Examination to read the tells of a witness as a sort of living polygraph test. It is rarely questioned, and rarer still challenged, when said attorneys say "hey I noticed your finger was twitching/your voice was unusually distressed when you said that, I know that means you were lying."
  • Phoenix is disbarred in the 7-year timeskip between the third and fourth games. This isn't the weird bit. The weird bit is that in the first case he appears in court again, as a murder suspect, Phoenix takes the defense attorney's bench alongside Apollo in cross-examining a witness.
  • The fifth game has Simon Blackquill, a convicted murderer days from death row, who pulls double duty as a prosecutor with no assurances for his ability or risk factor beyond the word of Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth, and a pair of handcuffs. His conviction does not bar him from doing his job, nor does anyone rethink bringing him here when he proves effortlessly capable of breaking his cuffs off at will.
  • The final case forces an attorney to confront the truth, mid-trial, of the extremely grisly nature and circumstances of their mother's death years ago, the memory of which they had repressed completely from the utter trauma of it. Despite this being new information to all other parties involved, and the attorney in question completely shutting down on the stand from PTSD, the case proceeds unabated.
  • * Side note: at no point during this or any other case is it questioned whether any of the parties involved should be recused from the court proceedings, despite their intimate personal connections to the crime scene, the witnesses, or the murder victim.
  • During the sixth game, the attorney is, as part of court proceedings, forced to learn and prove that their own father figure was murdered several days ago, a fact which is also relevant to the case they are currently working. Again, the case resumes uninterrupted.
  • The legal system of a foreign country stipulates that the defense attorney on a case will share the same sentence as their client if the latter is convicted. This system was put in place by a prosecutor, who framed a defense attorney to set the pretext for passing the law, and therefore obviously stands to benefit from the obvious consequence of this meaning nobody is willing to represent a defendant in court anymore.
  • The legal system of said country also involves, as part of court proceedings, having an underaged girl perform a spirit channeling technique that replays the final moments of the murder victim's life from their point of view to produce evidence of how they died. It is never questioned whether it's a good idea to have a child repeatedly witness murder victims. The nature of this evidence is also exploited by multiple murderers to frame other parties by setting up the scene to manipulate what the victim will see before they die, and nobody actually in the justice system even considers this as a possibility until Phoenix and co arrive on the scene.

[–]HawlSera 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I liked Turn About Big Top....

[–]Bobboy5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We used to beat people like you with sticks.

[–]AJokeAmI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in.

Its on my wishlist now.

[–]TreeTurtle_852 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need more of this, please give me more

[–]malfunctiondown 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I will make it legal

[–]Wutenheimer 97 points98 points  (5 children)

This reads like it was taken out of a 500 jokes appropriate for all ages! book

[–]Killerspuelung 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I swear I read some of these 20 years ago in a German children's magazine

[–]PensiveObservor 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Oh thank glob, a rational voice. I feared we’d reached a point where redditors are too young to recognize spam emails and all of them would start being treated seriously when posted. My 97 y o father has sent this “People Have Really Said This in Court!!” Email to me at least 6 times in my life.

[–]newyearsamestuff 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Never got the email, but I have been around just long enough to hear or read most of these jokes. I'm not even that old, but things like this make me question the average age of the platform lmao

[–]hey_free_rats 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I think the first time I read this, it was a chain email my aunt had forwarded to my family's communal MSN email address. My mother had called us over to share, so my siblings and I were all clustered around the single household PC like we were listening to FDR's fireside chats.

Pretty sure the text was exactly the same, too.

[–]PensiveObservor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha exactly! I would have been the mom in your scenario. Grandad’s emails got tiresome and offensive around 2007-8, unfortunately, so I had to cut him off. He finally removed me from his spam-blast list, and we are friends again.

[–]hospitalcottonswab 115 points116 points  (0 children)

“What year?”

“Every year”

“Get out”

[–]painsupplies 18 points19 points  (0 children)

"Gucci sweats and Reeboks". i wish i had those gear in my car

[–]ImpishBaseline 16 points17 points  (1 child)

"45 years" or "Four to five years"?

[–]ImpishBaseline 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The one about a person dying in their sleep was probably just someone meaning to say "we don't know about it until the next morning"

[–]althealon 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Please tell me there's a subreddit for this

[–]Raenoke 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I too would like a link to such sub

[–]danni_shadow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a TikTok for them: rebmasel does court transcripts.

[–]BurntCinnamonCake 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've literally seen 90% of these quotes in Ace Attorney meme videos.

[–]Misterwuss 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Pathologists take no shit.

[–]Metalunalium 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can’t wait to do autopsies so I can say this stuff in court

[–]Urban_Savage 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Some of these "actual court transcripts" just also happen to be word for word mediocre jokes for 30 years ago.

[–]KaisarDragon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've seen some of these in Reader's Digest. They were jokes. There is no way this book can claim it was an actual case. The book only sometimes gives an actual case reference.

[–]WoolooOfWallStreet 35 points36 points  (2 children)

This feels like one of those humorous old chain emails or Facebook posts your grandmother would send out

[–]DubstepJuggalo69 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I love when tumblr users dig up ancient Boomer email jokes.

[–]PensiveObservor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is. My father sends it round regularly.

[–]imbriandead 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Phoenix Wright: Ass Attorney

[–]gloomwithtea 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I swear I read every single one of these in an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader like 20 years ago. Thank you for making me miss those books.

[–]hotbimess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Court recorders are amazing, they write at the same speed people are talking, using a keyboard that is essentially phonetic. If I ever quit my current job, I'd want to be a court reporter

[–]iamlejo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m dying

[–]RoyalPeacock19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of these questions are super obvious, but still need to be stated for the record, and come best from the mouth of the witness. A few are just dumb though.

[–]Shoe_Exact 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The poor attorneys having to mark off literally every option for the judge and looking stupid as a result.

[–]brawlganronper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My favorite ace attorney quote is:JUMPING JEHOSHAPHAT.

The judge

Japanamerica

2004

[–]Isioustes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of the questions that are asked by attorneys that "sound" silly should have been phrased better, but they are asked for a purpose.

[–]SirCakeTheSecond 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need more of this

[–]Beanicus13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t seen this jokey chain email since my yahoo days

[–]Vivid_Olive2466 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of that Rick Allan vs state of Georgia stuff that was even recreated by The creators of Rick and Morty.

[–]snoringhunde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow- talk about old internet stuff. Remember seeing this stuff on old geocities pages

[–]call_me_jelli 5 points6 points  (1 child)

"All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?"

"Oral..."

[–]Diego1808 7 points8 points  (0 children)

yes i think we all read it. no need to reiterate

[–]ErgonomicCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgwg7DU/

That’s just one of many transcripts like this from a public defender.

[–]Sum-Rando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And the sassiest responses are doctors. Love it.

[–]Zellaus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The three children question is pretty valid though, pronouns and what not.

[–]Random-Rambling -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I LOVE how snarky the witnesses are!