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DISCUSSIONHow Aaron Sorkin formats overlapping dialogue (self.Screenwriting)

submitted by kid-karma

I'm currently reading through the Steve Jobs screenplay and there's a LOT of overlapping dialogue. I see lots of questions about how to format this, so I thought I'd share.

Here's what Sorkin does, and it's pretty simple.

Basically he puts parentheses around the portion of dialogue that's going to be stepped on, and then indicates that the interrupter's dialogue is doing this with a parenthetical (over). Super simple, easy to follow.

I'm sure he didn't invent this technique, but it's the first time I'd seen it and thought it would be useful information.

Don't overthink it! If it reads well, it works.

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[–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

This is definitely going in my tool box.

[–]FrankNBerry 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this!

[–]redbirdjr 15 points16 points  (1 child)

In playwriting I've often seen:

BOB: So this is // where the other guy starts talking

GUY: // I don't need to listen to you.

Is that just unused in screenwriting?

[–]ToilerAndTroubler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I use slashes for that purpose in screenplays. I think I'm about the only person who does it, but it's never been a problem.

[–]plainwrap 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Pretty good, but I would probably use square or angle brackets instead of parentheses just so a reader doesn't confuse it with direction.

Nobody wants to get a script note from a producer asking "why are you telling the audience that the demo is going to crash during this dialogue? shouldn't that play out in a scene?"

[–]Knute5 39 points40 points  (0 children)

And only one person gets to answer that question with, "Because, I'm Aaron Sorkin."

[–]Wyn6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I clicked the link before reading the rest of the OP and this is exactly what I thought. Hah.

[–]gabrielsburg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pretty good, but I would probably use square or angle brackets instead of parentheses just so a reader doesn't confuse it with direction.

I use square brackets, not just for overlapping dialogue but for dialogue that's cut off. A lot of writers use the dash convention for cut off dialogue:

    CHUCK
But I don't --

But I started using the square brackets when a screenwriting professor made a point that the dashes result in cut off dialogue in the scene that doesn't sound natural. And I think he was right. It sticks out as noticeable because the person being cut off often doesn't have the right momentum to their dialogue.

He suggested actually writing the entire line to fix that and then noting that they get cut off. So I started doing that and added in the square brackets to indicate where the cutoff happens.

    CHUCK
But I don't [want to shave my beard.]

[–]JJdante 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember learning this either in school or in a book somewhere, so it's pretty cool seeing it utilized by Sorkin.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I might try this. I tend to just use dashes at the beginning and end of dialogue to indicate if someone is being interrupted or interrupting but I'm not sure if its the same as having a character talk over someone.

[–]MaxAddams 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Double dashes are for when they're cut off. As in original talker stops talking when interrupted. Also works for having your character's mouth suddenly ,a door being slammed in their face, or being murdered mid-sentence.

[–]dukefrinn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Isn’t it a bit cliché to have a character be murdered mid-se––

[–]breedweezy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Post. Saved. (Over).

[–]MachineGunCaveman 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Eh, I'd much rather use offset dual dialogue and make my script shorter.

[–]orcaspirit71171 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I guess the parentheses way is more specific since you can indicate exactly where the “talking over” begins.

[–]MaxAddams 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yup, different tools for different tasks.

[–]MrMagpie27Drama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say that's preferred, but not all software can do this format. For example I use Celtx and it can't.

[–]ThisRiverisWild 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Man, I really feel like this would not go over well for anyone but an established writer. It might confuse the reader who doesn't already know Sorkin's style, or just come across as pretentious and 'Sorkin-aping' for everyone else.

[–]RichardStrauss123Produced Screenwriter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

totally

[–]RichardStrauss123Produced Screenwriter 2 points3 points  (9 children)

I definitely put this in the category of stuff the pros can get away with that amateurs should never attempt.

Answer this... Am I supposed to read both of these lines, stop, and then imagine what they sound like simultaneously? (No, I don't think so.)

Answer this... Is there anything remotely different added to the read because of this overlapping dialogue. Is the story or characterization any different? (No, I don't think so.)

Answer this... Does this technique add words and ink to a page thereby slowing down the read and putting extra demands on readers who are BARELY paying attention as it is? (Yes.)

Then it's really a bad idea.

This is a device which fits squarely into the actor's toolbox. Get creative. You're so hyped up that you step on your scene partner's lines. Get it. It's edgy. Fine. You want to act it like that, direct it like that, edit it like that, fine.

But on the page? Clean, simple, direct. Easy to follow and understand. That's my advice, every single time.

[–]kid-karma[S] 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Answer this... is it ACTUALLY that hard to read the script and understand the flow? (No, I don't think so.)

[–]SelfProclaimedNerd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If the rest of your script is excellent and I'm REALLY enjoying it, doing something like this probably won't make me stop reading.

But let's be real, most scripts are mediocre, and weird formatting+mediocre script screams amateur. I would probably have noted it as a strike against you when I was a script reader. This formatting choice would hurt 99% of writers in 99% of situations.

[–]RichardStrauss123Produced Screenwriter -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

If it's not helping you and only slowing down the read then why do it?

[–]kid-karma[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

because it is helping you get a style across and it doesn't slow down the read.

to be clear I don't really write dialogue that overlaps often, so i don't really have any stake in this, but it genuinely works well. i was enjoying it a lot while reading the script.

[–]RichardStrauss123Produced Screenwriter -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

If you have an overblown sense of the quality of your writing... and you fantasize that some reader is languidly pouring over every syllable in a peaceful and supportive environment then by all means...sure! Go ahead. Fuck with them. Place a bunch of demands on their attention with gimmicky little knockoff chuff.

I ain't doing it.

Straight, clear, and to the point and above all EASY TO READ.

They are BARELY paying attention. They forgot your lead character's name by page eight! They have your career in their hands. They've fucking had it with amateurs and their "style". Take it as easy as you can on them.

[–]kid-karma[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I ain't doing it.

Literally the only thing you needed to say

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This is screenwriting, everyone here has an “overblown sense of the quality” of their writing. What sorkin did isn’t “”gimmicky” it’s entirely a stylistic decision, one that is smooth to read and uncommon.

[–]The-Bog-Trotter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that there isn't anything wrong with the style if you can understand it when you read it, and I would agree, that this simple tool would be really useful. However, I would absolutely not use this in something I was submitting to an agent or anyone else in a professional setting unless I already had a job and could establish some sort of leniency. I.e., why show up to an interview in jorts and flip flops?

That being said, I love a good pair of jorts and flip flops, and are much more comfortable than a stylish business formal outfit.

[–]BoxNemoShowrunner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd respectfully disagree -- there are definitely times when you the dialogue to overlap and for people to cut each other off, and this is a pretty good way of formatting that.

Answer this... Am I supposed to read both of these lines, stop, and then imagine what they sound like simultaneously? (No, I don't think so.)

No, you're meant to understand the dramatic intent -- that the second line will come in over the top of the first. It doesn't stop the flow, and it's pretty simple to understand.

Answer this... Is there anything remotely different added to the read because of this overlapping dialogue. Is the story or characterization any different? (No, I don't think so.)

Again I'd respectfully disagree -- I think it does add to both the story and characterization.

This is a device which fits squarely into the actor's toolbox. Get creative. You're so hyped up that you step on your scene partner's lines. Get it. It's edgy. Fine.

It's definitely a writing tool. It's not just about randomly using it -- it's use for a dramatic purpose, and done right, it's great. One thing I particularly like is that people don't just patiently wait for their turn to speak -- they talk over each other, they stumble over words, they reverse their position mid-flow etc etc -- and like any tool, it's useful at the right time, and in moderation. Moderation always being the key.

But I think it's perfectly easy to understand, and definitely not the province of the actor.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good stuff. Thanks!

[–]delaboots 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been wondering about this, thank you. Sorkin does this in every script he writes it seems.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's cool. Careful though. That script is like 180 pages long.

[–]reverend-mayhem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

donald margulies does something similar in his play "time stands still" (the idea is that the asterisks & slash marks match up between lines & the adjacent words overlap)

[–]DoItForFrodo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that. I always wondered how his vision of overlapping dialogue translated to production.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

By this logic wouldn't it make more sense just to add paratheticals to the end and beginning of speeches, like;

Bill: I can't believe you (did this to us, John!)

John: (Oh come on, Bill), you arrogant ass!

[–]kid-karma[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

that requires much more specific timing since you're claiming to know the exact moment when the dialogue will stop overlapping.

in the original way it's basically just saying "start interrupting at this point".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You could always time it by syllables or a word count.

Bill: I'm saying (roughly six words.)

John: (I don't care about) your word count.

[–]kid-karma[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

that adds an unnecessary amount of work when you can just say (over)

[–]RichardStrauss123Produced Screenwriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn't I also just say, "They're anxious and excited. They talk over each others dialogue." Or whatever?

[–]MaxAddams 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure, if your actors both speak at exactly the same pace or you make them listen to a metronome.

[–]Zeon636 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's great for reading, but like all things (word perfect) Sorkin, it can be exacting when you have to work on it as a performer.