Been part of a band for 4 years and we reached great heights. We started off as a typical school band passing vocals around between members and writing cool songs - we eventually recorded an album where I had 50% of the lead vocals and my bandmate had the other 50%. As the years went on, I started to have personal mental issues which made my live performing deteriorate massively- I hated having to move around for the sake of it while performing and my vocals got pitchy on stage. Following this my bandmate understandably took over lead vocals duties, and though everyone has been extremely supportive, I've felt hard done by and expressed that- admittedly in a pretty whiny way.The result has been mixed. Since then I have been relegated to lead guitar duties with some backing vocals- and every rehearsal sessions feels like a mountain I have to overcome.I also had some personal issues that left me resenting them- through little fault of theirs. In my head it was a toxic environment and I was the odd one out- different.
We took a hiatus where I did different projects and regained my confidence- and I found rehearsing with other people to be way more rewarding. I found that despite movement on stage being less, the quality of the performance was still the same, and this new band managed to get to a place similar of that to the other one.
Now the hiatus is over and we have agreed to do one final gig- I don't want to do it. My bandmate suggested he sing 2 songs from the album we released that I originally sang- as expected, and I said it was ok. I would rather sing lead on these and I know they will not concede this as we have discussed our "new roles" at length. Every time I try to talk to them I feel like throwing up, or have a headache. However I have had a history with the band and we all have historically been a very tight knit group. They have supported me and been there when my situation was dire, and I feel I owe them at least this gig. It's very soon, and after that it's done, and I can maintain good relationships with the members. If I drop out now, it will leave a tainted final gig. I feel I owe them this, and I do love playing lead guitar, and I know there can't be 2 frontmen in a band. If I tell them I don't want to do it, I don't want to lie and say it's because of some random bogus reason, I don't want to hurt them, and it's literally over in 3 weeks.