I (m40) think that Last night my wife (f43) cheated on me. We have been maried 10 years, together for 13 She went out to "buy some stuff for the home", which is weird, she hates doing that, and she went with a male freind I dont know. She stayed out for several hours. It was weird because she spent the day getting ready like it was a date. And when she was gone I grew suspicious and checked around the room and she had put on her sexy underwear meant just for our bedroom. I do all the childcare so I put the kids to bed. She showed up after and refused to tell me most of the details of the man she was with, and told me that in order to stay in our marraige she needed some time that was just for her. She only told me his first name, and when I thought back, I had seen that name pop up in her texts for the last several months. I didnt think anything of it at the time because its the name of a work friend she has and they often need to reach out to one another after hours for big projects. I think that she has been slowly building up the "courage" to cheat on me, and over the last 2 months our sex life has collapsed to zero and she has grown extre.ely hostile without any reason given, seemingly out of nowhere. Last week she told me she doesnt want to be married and it has nothing to do with me. (An outrageous assertion) Before everyone says I dont do enough as a husband, I do 100% of the childcare, shopping, housework and I work from home, though she is the primary breadwinner. I am emotionally available and mature, and I dont have a temper. I stay relatively fit and am attractive enough. I am not controlling, I dont object at all to her having male friends, but this screams affair. I am utterly shattered and I feel like I am dying. I dont even know how to talk to her about it. She has been so angry lately that communicating with her is a nightmare. This is a throw away account, I am too ashamed to post it to my main. I want to divorce her, but that would break apart my children's home. If I file for divorce would that make me the asshole?