r/Jokes

As they reached the bar the CEO of Budweiser said he'd have the best beer in the world and ordered a bud.

The CEO of Worthington's begged to differ and said the best beer in the world is Trophy Bitter and he ordered one.

When it was the CEO of Guinness' turn he ordered a coke.

The other two CEOs were aghast and asked why he wasn't drinking a Guinness.

He replied as you two were ordering soft drinks I thought I'd join you.

[An old joke dating way back, when Trophy Bitter was a thing.]

A husband asks her wife, "If I die, will you get another marriage?"

The wife answered, "No, of course not! I'm going to go live with my sister. What about you, are you getting another marriage when I'm gone? "

He replied, "No, same with you. I'm going to go live with your sister."

After Putin explained to the kids how Russia is the most glorious and best nation in the world, he asked if any of the children had any questions.

Suddenly, Aleksandr put his hand up.

“Yes?” Putin said, as he pointed at Aleksandr.

“Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union and why are trying to take Crimea?” Aleksandr asked.

“Well, the correct reason we are invading Ukraine is…” before Putin could finish his sentence, the bell rang, and all the children rushed out the classroom to have lunch. However, the children were also confused, as the bell wasn’t supposed to go this early. The lunch break seemed much longer than usual to many children.

When the bell rang again and the children got back into the classroom, Putin and the teacher were waiting there.

“Any more questions?” Putin asked.

Damien shot his hand up almost immediately.

“Yes, Damien?” Putin said, pointing at Damien.

“Well, I have four questions.” Damien said.

“Go ahead and ask them.” Putin replied.

“Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union? Why do you want to take Crimea? Why did the bell for lunch ring 20 minutes early? And where is Aleksandr?”