this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
Hi reddit. I don’t usually post this kind of stuff on here but I am in such a clusterfuck of confusion and I don’t even know what to do at this point. So I made a throwaway account to get some perspective and to see if I’m overreacting, justified in my feelings, or if I’m giving my girlfriend mixed signals.
Here’s the quick backstory
Girlfriend and I have been living together a year. Have been together two years. (Known each other for 4) She’s 22 and I’m 25. We both work full time, cohabitate well together, and have no constant issues/arguments. Except this.
I apologize if this story is TMI but I feel this is necessary to get the full picture. So 18+ Warning in advance
So we spent the first year of our relationship strictly using condoms. As time went on (As in a little less than a year ago) We started getting more “lax” with the condoms. So for the past year, we’ve been using the pull out method. (Stupid, I know) But the odds don’t seem to be that high. I’ve googled extensively and it said it’s about a 10-15% chance of a pregnancy occurring within a year. So we figured by the time an accident happens, we will be prepared for a child.
But we both agreed that right now isn’t the right time to have kids, as we live in a one bedroom and don’t make enough money to support another human.
We send each other baby reels on TikTok, talk about our future marriage/children. Have discussed names, how many we want, etc. (that’s where the possibility of a mixed signal is)
TMI PART
So last night, We had sex. I “finished” on her. While I went into the other room to get a towel to clean her up, I walked back into the bedroom to find… well… something odd.
She had my cum on her fingers, and was inserting it into herself.
It was her ovulation time and has been the past few days according to her app.
I obviously was in complete shock since I have never been in this situation before. (She has been my first sexual relationship) I straight up asked her what she was doing. She looked at me and didn’t say anything, or at least looked like she didn’t know what to say. I asked her if she was doing what I thought she was doing.
And she nodded her head and said she was sorry. She just really “wanted to have a kid and got mixed signals” But I call BS.
She profusely apologized. Over and over. She didn’t sleep all night. She said she just got the urge, and didn’t think twice because of how we’re living together and “I must not care that much because I use the pull out method”
That was just so manipulative and not excuse at all. I told her that I can’t trust her and I don’t know where we stand at this point. She won’t stop apologizing.