I realized I was an introvert a long time ago because even when I am surrounded by people, I often feel quite alone.
Everyone around me seems good at making friends, but I always struggle to connect, so there must be something wrong on my end.
Maybe it’s all these feelings I have swirling in my head. They make me overthink and doubt everything— even when I lie alone in bed.
After crying for hours deep into the night, I finally make the decision to lock all these feelings back inside.
But my emotions are refusing to be caged. They don’t want to be controlled, so they get stronger and harder to hold.
Once my feelings break free, they start wrapping around me, like layers of a mummy.
At first, it feels nice, like a comforting hug, but they tighter more and more until I realize it’s getting hard to breathe, and I start to scream.
My lungs are burning, but I keep going, certain soon someone will be showing.
But they never even had a chance because as years went by I became mummified. But instead of layers I got brick walls built so high not even the people I love can hear my cry.
So now my feelings and I are forever trapped inside, all because I thought it would be better to hide.
I embraced my introversion a long time ago — I just wish someone had told me, I didn’t need to do everything alone.
I don't know if you love me, if you ever did at that,
But as time goes on, I find that I will never understand.
I tried so hard to be a friend, to learn, to grow, to be yours,
It was all in vain, a fever dream, a mouthful of open sores.
These hands bound behind my back keep track of the passage of time,
A strong reminder, stagnant place, and for you, my love- a shrine.
They've built empires that crumble now, razed by anger and fear,
Worlds that lie in ruin, at the far borders of nowhere and near.
On the long morning you absconded, still dead and dark as night,
I found my weak self wondering if indeed I'd just lost sight.
The letters, they stopped coming, and I knew then the end was close,
Still, the overwhelmed breath in my chest clutches red at my throat.
You once said you thought me special; now I wonder what you meant.
At the sight of your consternation, I thought this evident;
Where there is love, there is anguish, where lies anguish, I'll find you,
I've followed you for far too long to miss a chance to follow through.
That all things come to a close, a demise, a whimper before the void,
That all things crumble, and dissipate, that rust spares no alloy.
And through these observations, I hope to find my peace,
Though I know for certain my relief lay still with endless sleep.