to clarify, not a ubiquitous “anything goes” mentor but a mentor in the sense of being educated enough in certain topics to actually engage with and provide almost intuitive criticism for the user. i find that most ai responds in a way that’s hollow or basically a “yes-man”. has anyone tried this with custom gpts or other models?

I made a tool to receive personalized pep talks for literally anything you need motivation and encouragement for! If anyone needs it

[Note: My intention is to help you feel supported and empowered; it’s not to downplay your experience with anxiety. We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical (e.g. chemical imbalance). Please consult your doctor for healing, medication, etc.]

TL;DR: You feel anxiety because you judge yourself (and others). Anxiety is helpful guidance; like GPS in your car. But the more you fight it, you keep yourself stuck. I feel anxiety every day. But it’s not an issue, because I appreciate anxiety. We’re friends and communicate in a healthy and respectful way.

Social anxiety is believing people will reject you, so you have to be a different version of yourself that will earn acceptance (i.e. you don’t feel good enough). Fear of abandonment is actually faith in abandonment; expecting people will leave, rather than stay. Overthinking is underfeeling; you're not caring enough about how you feel. Procrastination is when your expectations are too high and unrealistic. “All-or-nothing” mentality typically leads to nothing.

Topics we’ll cover:

• Feeling Stuck In The Cycle of Anxiety

• Panic Attacks

• Overthinking and Ulterior Motives

• Being Sensitive and Triggered

• Social Anxiety and Fear of Public Speaking

• Fear of Rejection and Failure

• Anxious Attachment and Fear of Abandonment

• People Pleasing

• Confidence, Worthy and Deserving

• Intuition vs Anxiety

• Motivation, Discipline and Procrastination

• Expand Your Comfort Zone

• Tips for Soothing Anxiety

I know it’s long (that’s what she said) and that may give you anxiety haha. But I want you to have a thorough understanding of anxiety affecting different parts of your life and how it’s all connected, so you can overcome it. 

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First, remember to breathe. It's okay.

To soothe anxiety and negative emotions, be open to viewing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends and anxiety as an ally who wants to help.

Anxiety is helpful guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you’re focused on (and judging) what you don't want. Anxiety isn’t random or a punishment. It’s a necessary part of your emotional guidance; like GPS in your car. But the more you fight it, you keep yourself stuck. Anxiety is just a messenger of limiting beliefs you're practicing (i.e. don’t shoot the messenger). You may believe your emotions come from your circumstances and other people, but your emotions come from your thoughts:

• When you focus on what you want = You feel better and more comfortable.

• When you focus on (and invalidate or judge) what you don't want = You feel worse and more anxiety.

So hypothetically, if you never judged anything (which isn’t realistic, but this is just an example), then you would never feel anxiety. Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be, by letting you know when you're practicing inauthentic and unrealistic expectations of yourself. And you have strong desires that you’re not allowing. So the more you allow yourself to respect your needs and be authentic, then you’re following anxiety's advice, and so it naturally goes away.

• So instead of saying, "I'm dealing with anxiety," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, "I'm receiving guidance in the form of anxiety, that I'm focusing on what I don't want, and not taking care of myself."

Anxiety represents the belief that you won’t meet a standard to be supported. And, you're not treating yourself with as much compassion, acceptance and appreciation that you deserve. You allow yourself to feel more comfortable, when you give up the misinformed notion that anxiety is the bad guy, when in fact it’s your ally. 

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The Cycle of Anxiety

Here’s why you feel stuck in a cycle:

• You judge something (because you want to change it) → So you feel worse, but don’t know anxiety’s purpose → So you judge anxiety (because you want to change how you feel) → So you feel worse and anxiety remains.

There’s two waves of anxiety (and negative emotions in general):

• 1st Wave: You feel anxiety, but don’t know why.

• 2nd Wave: You believe you can’t enjoy your life because of anxiety, and it should go away.

First wave you judged something, which caused anxiety. Second wave you judge anxiety, so you feel anxiety in response to feeling anxiety haha. So even if you don’t understand or can’t control the first wave, you don't have to create the second wave by judging the first (i.e. judging yourself for judging). So it doesn’t really matter what the initial judgment was, because judging anxiety is now the cause. And as you learn to accept anxiety, that will naturally carry over into more acceptance of your life and for the first wave; thus preventing anxiety from happening in the first place.

Anxiety is built on believing your stability comes from outside of you. But if you build your self-worth on quicksand (i.e. people’s opinions and circumstances), then no matter what you do, you’re always sinking. And so you struggle to get out, but the struggle (i.e. pushing against where you are) is ironically what keeps you stuck. Although your frustration is valid and understandable, needing anxiety to go away, ironically causes you to feel more of it.

Fighting anxiety is like fighting fire with fire. What happens? It gets bigger and stronger. You get rid of fire by either cooling it or removing the fuel (i.e. you don’t have to accept anxiety, but if all you did was be more neutral and judge it less, you would feel better). Or imagine anxiety is a fire alarm. If you unplug it, that doesn’t get rid of the fire. You want the alarm to be annoying so that it gets your attention to resolve the issue. And you might wonder, “What if it’s a false alarm?” Anxiety is never a false alarm; it always indicates you’re focused on and judging what you don’t want.

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Panic Attacks

Whether it’s anxiety attacks or panic attacks, the cause is the same: focusing on and judging what you don’t want. And that’s empowering to know because that means the solution is the same: focus more on what you want, acceptance and/ or appreciation.

Panic attacks are the result of thinking thoughts about what you don’t want long enough, and then so much momentum builds to where it’s overwhelming. Like when a snowball rolling downhill gets bigger and faster, if you wait until there’s too much momentum before trying to stop it, then it’s nearly impossible without being crushed.

It’s the culmination of receiving consistent emotional guidance that you weren’t paying attention to, until it reached a boiling point. You want to notice negative emotion in the early stages so you can do something about it. That reinforces your empowerment, and prevents a panic attack from happening because you cut off its fuel supply of judgement.

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Overthinking and Ulterior Motives

Overthinking is underfeeling; you're not caring enough about how you feel. And when you’re judging, it’s easier to think more confusing and intrusive thoughts. So you feel anxiety and overwhelmed as emotional texts letting you know to focus more on what you want, so you can feel better and see things more clearly. And, anxiety and overthinking are based on ulterior motives (and that’s not a judgment; just clarity for more awareness):

• Ulterior motive: “I believe my emotions come from outside of me. So I want to change my circumstances and other people, so then I can feel better.”

So your brain goes into overdrive, obsessing about a situation to find the “perfect” solution. But when you remember your emotions are helpful guidance, then you naturally stop trying to micromanage.

• If you believe something is wrong with you or your life, then you encourage and reward your mind to overthink.

• When you know your emotions come from you (and not your circumstances), and see the value in this present moment, then you encourage and reward your mind to relax.

Think of it like you’re sleeping, the alarm goes off, and you’re late for work. You’re on high alert to get ready ASAP! But two minutes later, you realize it’s your day off… instant relief. Your mind and body naturally calm down because they don’t need to be overworking to fix something you perceived as wrong, you see?

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Being Sensitive and Triggered

“My anxiety increases when I’m around people because I’m sensitive to their energy.”

Heightened awareness of negative emotions causes a natural heightened sensitivity to them. But even when you’re aware people feel negative emotion, you only feel worse if you judge their emotional guidance.

Being sensitive means you’re less capable of putting up with negative emotion, and that’s a good thing. I’m very sensitive. However, I use it to enhance my ability to feel better; not detract from it. It empowers me to focus on accepting myself and others, since not accepting is simply not an option (because it’s too painful haha).

Sensitivity is great because since you notice negative emotion in the earlier, subtle stages, you can be more proactive. Whereas other people may be unaware, you simply don’t have the luxury of tolerating negative emotion. Which makes you open to new ways of approaching it; such as becoming friends with it.

"I can trigger people when just trying to have a conversation. Why do they take things so personally and not be more understanding?"

At its core, what does it mean to be triggered? You're uncomfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

Here’s a self-reflection question: Are you triggered when other people are triggered? If you are, that makes things worse. If you aren't, and accept and appreciate people as they are, then you allow conversations to go more smoothly. Viewing negative emotions as friends helps you feel more comfortable, and thus less triggered.

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Social Anxiety and Fear of Public Speaking

Social anxiety is believing people will reject you, so you have to be a different version of yourself that will earn acceptance. I.e. “I’m not good enough;” which makes social anxiety a worthiness issue.

When you don’t take people’s rejection as an indicator of your value or ability to be accepted by others who are a good match to people you want in your life, then anxiety goes away. You’re taking away expectations of who you "should" or "need" to be. You let yourself simply be yourself.

“I accept myself, but I’m afraid people won’t. I’m not judging, so why do I feel anxious?”

If you’re embarrassed or worried people will judge you, then you’re judging their perception of judging you, and that’s why you feel anxious.

“If I want to be a public speaker, does anxiety mean I don't want to do it? Or if I’m anxious when I talk to specific people, does that mean I don’t want them in my life?"

No. Anxiety isn't indicating what you're doing, it's indicating what you're thinking. So when you focus on what you want, you’ll have clarity of what’s right for you.

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Fear of Rejection and Failure

Fear of rejection = Your belief that people will validate your unworthiness.

Rejection doesn't mean you're unworthy; it means you believe you're unworthy. Otherwise, you’d understand rejection is either a projection of someone else's issues that has nothing to do with you, and/or appreciate rejection as a redirection to something more compatible and fulfilling. (And another way to view rejection is, “pre-acceptance.")

Rejection feels bad because you're rejecting the feeling of rejection. Ironically, if you accepted the uncomfortable feeling of rejection, then you’d feel better.

The irony of fear of failure is: You're already failing, and you're okay with it. Because by not starting or pursuing your dreams, you're already failing right now. But you're not afraid of failing right now. In fact, you might not even view it as "failure." You just view it as not starting (but it's the same thing).

Also, you don't fail; you simply create a result. It's neutral. You get to decide how you feel about that result. And since you naturally learn and get better from results, then failure is, ironically, inherently successful. You can't not be successful. It's just opening your expectations of what success is.

“Fear lowers my energy and holds me back from the life I want.”

Fear doesn’t hold you back or lower your energy. Fear is loving guidance that you’re holding yourself back by focusing on what you don’t want. Fear is a symptom of the problem (i.e. judgment); not the problem itself. It’s here to help; not hinder.

Think of a car. Being upset with fear is like getting upset at your gas gauge for informing you that you're running low on energy. The indicator doesn't make you have less gas; it's just doing its job (that you want it to do), of telling you when to fill up (i.e. take care of yourself).

The goal isn’t to get rid of anxiety forever; the goal is to learn to work in harmony with it. You want anxiety’s help as guidance, like GPS. Asking, “How do you get rid of anxiety and fear?” is like asking, “How do I get my GPS to stop telling me I’m going the wrong way?” The answer’s simple: Turn in the direction you want to go. Focus more on what you want and why you want it. Judge less; accept and appreciate more.

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Anxious Attachment and Fear of Abandonment

“When I’m afraid my partner is losing interest, I become clingy. I keep worrying that it’s only a matter of time before they leave me."

Fear of abandonment is actually faith in abandonment; you’ve practiced more thoughts of expecting people will leave, rather than stay.

You grew up in an environment where you weren't surrounded by people who made you feel safe and supported, and some of your needs weren't met with your parents growing up (i.e. your first relationship in the world). That causes your nervous system to basically always be on alert and assessing your environment for consistent reassurance (i.e. anxious and worried), and being in that state naturally makes you feel drained and exhausted.

You cling to feel secure, but that makes your partner feel less free, so they pull away to feel their freedom, to which you interpret as losing interest, so you cling more… until eventually they feel more free by not being in the relationship. You needing them to stay, ironically caused you to push them away.

You hold on to fear because you think it's a shield protecting you, but it’s actually a welcome mat for more experiences you don’t want.

Fear of abandonment can cause you to ironically abandon others, first. It feels more empowering to push someone away (i.e. you did it to them), than to have them leave (i.e. they did it to you). You can self-sabotage if you feel unworthy and feel more secure in knowing things won’t work, then being constantly on edge, unsure of if or when something will go wrong.

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People Pleasing

If you're a people pleaser, you’re forgetting someone: You're a person, too. So make sure you’re pleasing yourself, as well. You're a people pleaser because you're afraid of rejection. And you're concerned about that because that's how you treat yourself. And, people pleasing is a roundabout way of pleasing yourself (i.e. ulterior motive). For ex: "I feel uncomfortable if you're uncomfortable. So how can I be different, to make you feel better and earn your acceptance, so then I can feel better?"

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Confidence, Worthy and Deserving

The irony of having a lack of confidence is: You feel confident... that you lack confidence.

Because if you lacked confidence in your ability to have a lack of confidence, then you couldn't feel insecure; you would just naturally feel more confident.

The irony of not feeling deserving is: You feel deserving... that you don't deserve anything.

You always feel confident, worthy and deserving of something — It's either what you want or don't want. So you don't have to learn how to feel confident or worthy; you already do. You’re just redirecting the confidence and worthiness you already have from what you don't want to what you do want.

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Intuition vs Anxiety

• Intuition: Feels light, interesting, exciting, empowering, comfortable, clear and/ or obvious.

• Anxiety: Feels heavy, worry, doubt, fear, disempowering, uncomfortable and/ or confusing.

Intuition feels better (or at least a neutral nudge); anxiety is fear added into the mix. So you can have intuition, and then judge your intuition as bad, and then you’ll feel anxiety. Also, anxiety can be the same energy as excitement, just filtered through limiting beliefs. But overall, if you feel anxiety (whether that’s just from a limiting belief and so it’s not true, or it’s genuine intuition muddled with a chocolate-fear coating) your work remains the same: Focus on feeling better, and then you’ll have more clarity of what to do.

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Motivation, Discipline and Procrastination

Here's how motivation works:

• Motivation is the result of momentum.

• Momentum is the result of lack of resistance (e.g. a snowball rolling downhill gets bigger and faster).

• Resistance is the result of thoughts focused on (and judging) what you don't want.

Anxiety piles up when you procrastinate because you keep adding “Self-Judgment” to the top of your To Do list. People procrastinate because their expectations are too high and unrealistic. “All-or-nothing” mentality typically leads to nothing. So, apply a small-and-satisfying mentality; which prioritizes fun and simplicity. Discipline is less about forcing yourself to just do actions, and more about the discipline to focus on feeling better:

• "Take it one step at a time. I don't have to force myself. And I give myself permission to stop and give up if that feels better. But if I feel like doing a little more, I can do that. I'm respecting how I feel, and I'm doing the best I can right now. It may not be my best for today, but it's my best for right now. And that's enough."

Don’t judge yourself for what you think you should do, just adjust the time and/or intensity until it accommodates your emotional needs:

• Ex: When you feel good, you workout for an hour. But when you're sad, you don't have the motivation, so scale it back to just 2 minutes. Or 1 pushup. Or get dressed, but don't go to the gym. Keep modifying your desired behavior until it sounds easy and/or fun.

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Expand Your Comfort Zone

“Get out of your comfort zone” is well-meaning advice. But the irony is, if you have to tell yourself to get out of your comfort zone, then you’re already out; because you’re actually in your discomfort zone.

For ex: If you never exercise, but then force yourself to workout 2 hours every day… you’ll burn yourself out, quit, resent it and/or get mad at yourself for not being disciplined. But the only issue was you didn’t honor your comfort zone. You honor your comfort zone by modifying the time and/ or intensity.

Getting out of your comfort zone can inspire you to make changes, but your comfort zone is what empowers you to stick with those changes. Feeling comfortable doesn’t mean complacent. Your comfort zone is where you feel loved, supported, appreciated, valued, secure and worthy; and staying there is how you thrive.

And, feeling genuinely comfortable with where you are in life is one of the most uncomfortable things for people. So getting out of your comfort zone would just be getting a little more comfortable in this present moment.

Your comfort zone is your authentic zone, which gives you access to clarity of new ideas and what you want, and how to get there. Getting out of that zone, throws a wrench into the natural flow of things. So instead of leaving your comfort zone; expand it — so you feel more comfortable doing more things. Then you can create the life you want through comfort and satisfaction, instead of discomfort and anxiety.

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Tips for Soothing Anxiety

1. Connect with Your Negative Emotions and Be Friends with Anxiety.

I feel anxiety every day. But it’s not an issue, because I appreciate anxiety. We’re friends and communicate in a healthy and respectful way. And sometimes when I can’t soothe myself, I simply invite anxiety and fear to join me in whatever I’m doing. So they don’t feel rejected or abandoned; I invite them to come along and feel included. And that helps me feel better.

You’re creating a new relationship together, so you become a partner, and not a prisoner. Start playing with the idea of instead of judging uncomfortable emotions and trying to get rid of them, welcome them into your home as honored guests. Treat them like a dear friend; with gentle kindness and respect. And have a casual conversation:

• "Hey! How's it going? What are you here to teach me right now? What needs am I not giving myself? How can I treat you better? And I want to be open to the idea that anxiety is my friend. I may not believe it yet, but I do like the idea that anxiety wants to support me. Anxiety, I know we haven't had the best relationship in the past, but are you open to working together? And maybe consider going easier on me, as we figure this new relationship out? That'd be nice. I'd appreciate that."

So the next time anxiety arrives at your door, invite it in to hang out, relax, and offer it a nice warm cup of anxie-tea.

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2. Connect with Your Body.

Meditating slows down thoughts, which slows down thoughts focused on what you don’t want, so you release resistance, and thus feel better. And it’s easier to soothe anxiety before it starts to get going by meditating in the morning. Because later in the day it's like trying to stop a car going downhill at 100 mph (vs 5 mph in the morning). You can also do deep breathing exercises, grounding, listen to ocean sounds, watch ASMR, etc. Some kind of calming and/or creative outlet.

Tune in to how your body feels and be aware of felt sense (i.e. do certain parts of your body feel warm, hot, pressure, tense, relaxed, etc.). Also communicate with your body and ask if it needs anything (e.g. more water, sleep, healthier diet, exercise, dancing, connecting with nature and physical touch — e.g. hug yourself or hand on heart).

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3. Connect with People.

Create a healthy social support and fulfill social needs by starting a new hobby that involves learning with others (e.g. gym, sports, dancing, video games, martial arts, playing an instrument, book club, volunteering, etc.).

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4. Have No Expectations In a Specific Outcome — Let Go of Ulterior Motives.

Focus on what feels better, with no expectation it needs to lead to a specific outcome. You feel anxiety when trying to control what you can’t; which is the outcome. You feel comfortable when focusing on what you can control; which is how you feel while working towards an outcome. Take action for the satisfaction of the process and act itself; not as means to get something or make something happen (i.e. ulterior motive), because that keeps you stuck.

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5. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I didn't judge myself?"

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped overthinking, and just went with the flow?”

• “What are the advantages of anxiety? Anxiety is a good thing because …”

• "What are the advantages of judging myself and overthinking? How does it help me?"

• “Why do I outsource my self-love and self-worth to other people?”

• “Do I want people to accept me for who I am? Or for pretending to be someone else?”

• “If people accept me because I’m pretending to be someone else, then are they really accepting me?”

• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?”

• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself and others?"

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6. Focus on How You Want to Feel.

When you’re indecisive of what to do, it’s because you’re not decisive of how you want to feel. You may not know what you want or what path to take specifically, but you always know what you want in general. So, what do you want to feel?

• “I want to feel more comfortable. I don’t feel comfortable, but wouldn’t it be nice if I felt a little more comfortable? Even just 1% more comfortable? I want to feel supported. I want to feel connected. I want to feel worthy and good enough. I want to feel understood and valued. I want to feel accepted and appreciated. I want to feel freedom to be myself. I want to feel eager and excited. I want to have fun. I like having fun. I want to feel creative. I want to feel clarity. I want to feel inspired. I want to feel guided throughout this process. I want to feel that regardless of how it seems, things are working out for me and I’ll be okay.”

As you allow those general better-feelings to be enough (and don't demand specific answers from yourself right now), that naturally builds more confidence in your ability to understand and work with anxiety.

When you view anxiety as an antagonist in your life, you unknowingly empower it to continue playing that role. But when you begin seeing anxiety as a friend, then you open yourself up for them to support and empower you in ways you never could have imagined.

~ BFree

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Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to start taking to being friends with anxiety and allowing it to help you?

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Reminder: Happiness isn't in that next job. It's not in the new car, the bigger house, or even the ideal relationship. True happiness is found in appreciating where you are right now, in the present moment.

Happiness is being content with who you are regardless of where you are in life.

As long you attach happiness to goals, you'll always be chasing something new.

Find joy and happiness in the journey. NOT the destination.

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

Some solid advice i saw from Chris Williamson this morning.

"stop taking things so seriously...

No one is getting out of this game alive... In three generations, no one will even remember your name..

and if that doesn't give you liberation to just drop your fucking problems and find some joy.. i don't know what will...

Life is inherently ridiculous and guaranteed to end sooner or later.. so you might as well enjoy the ride"

Side note: he means this as in don't worry so much about problems. NOT go do whatever you want in a bad way.

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

Hi everyone,

I decided to post this here as well as the stop smoking subreddit as one of the main objectives of this is to get myself motivated to quit smoking by reminding myself of the benefits of quitting.

Site:

You just enter your name, your quit date, and how much you spend on smoking per day, and it'll create a page for you that tracks your progress that you can come back to.

It tracks your time quit and your money savings, as well as giving you a list of things you can buy with the money you've saved, and a list of health benefits you achieved in the time you've been quit. So once you've been quit for 8 hours, the benefits list will say:

20 minutes: Your resting heart rate has already reduced (this is a key indicator of your overall fitness level)

8 hours: Nicotine in your system has halved

And it'll keep adding benefits as you unlock them.

Once you save $50, the "with your savings, you could buy:" section will say:

Dinner at a nice restaurant ($50)

The things you can buy is based on a list of 11 items ranging from a movie ticket ($10) to a university degree ($108000).

There are 19 health benefits ranging from 8 hours to 10 years.

This is a screenshot of what the site would look like for someone who's been quit for 6 months:

I wrote this to keep myself motivated but I stayed up tonight and made a generalised version that anyone can use.

Let me know if you find it useful or if you have any comments or bug reports.

Thanks.

"Your Comfort Zone Is a Beautiful Place But Nothing Ever Grows There"

"The comfort zone is a great enemy to courage and confidence"

Getting out of your comfort zone is the fastest way to growth.

And this is hard for most people. This is because in most cases, escaping your comfort zone comes with dealing with anxiety. One thing I've learned is that leaving your comfort zone doesn't have to happen all at once.

Start by setting tiny challenges for yourself that push you just slightly beyond what feels comfortable -- and over time, you'll get more and more comfortable as a whole (in every aspect of life)

Go try boxing for the first time... go do jiu jitsu... go to yoga.. Eventually, you'll fall in love with not staying in your comfort zone because you'll see all the beauty that comes with trying new things (confidence, friendships, health changes, etc)

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

The average person runs 1-5 miles per week. So to be in the top 1% of runners, all you have to do is run 2-3 miles per day. 90% of podcasts only produce 3 episodes, so just doing 4 puts you above most. The average American only reads 4 books per year. So, if you read just one book every month, you’re reading three times more than the average person.

In most cases, with any endeavor, as long as you set a low bar for consistency, you're doing more than most people. To be successful, you need to stop complicating things and simply break them down into manageable, consistent actions.

Edit: since the point doesn’t make sense unless I get a true statistic. “Only 29% of Americans can maintain a pace below 10 minutes per mile”

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

Saw this today and reminded me that the tough times we go through, just build us up to be who we're meant to be. don't shy away from it...

"if you had to create a human and you wanted them to be tough what would you put them through?

i mean it probably wouldn't be a chill life if you wanted someone who's going to come out the other side with patience you probably wouldn't give them things immediately

if you wanted someone to come out hard on one side they probably wouldn't go through a soft life or everything was given to them

if you wanted someone to have grit then you probably have to have them fail over and over and over again before they would succeed"

• Alex Hormozi

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

Push yourself because..

nobody is going to do it for you... because the odds of becoming a human are 1 in 300 million and you defied the odds...because you owe it to yourself to see how far you could go instead of sitting around and doing nothing...

Push yourself because although deep down you're telling yourself you're cool with where you are in life, you're lying to yourself...

nobody is coming to save you... no matter how much advice you seek on this subreddit, it all comes down to you.. So what are you going to do?

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

After I spending quite some time on this subreddit, i've realized many people talk about things they CAN'T control. (im guilty of this sometimes too)

in order to move forward and do what you need to do on a day to day basis you need to focus on the things you could control these things are:

1. your boundaries

2. your own opinions

3. your self-care (both mentally and physically)

4. how hard you work

5. who you hang out with

6. your actions.

7. your attitude.

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

Looking for 10 people to beta test an app I am developing. We are working on personalized pep talks for the masses and you will get to trial it for free!

I saw this on instagram to day as well.

1. Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

2. Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

3. Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing.

4. Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

5. Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing.

6. Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

7. Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn't doing the thing.

8. Fantasizing about all of the adoration you'll receive once you do the thing isn't doing the thing.

9. Reading about how to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading this essay isn't doing the thing.

10. The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.

This is extremely important to note because doing something as little as talking about doing the thing could make you feel as if you already did it. Get to work.

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

Saw this on instagram today:

to be successful at anything the truth is you don't have to be special you just have to be what most people aren't - consistent, determined and willing to work for it ....no matter who you are there are bumps and hits and bruises along the way... nothing in life of significance is ever accomplished alone but understand this happiness begins where selfishness ends

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

I made this site in lockdown but recently made a few changes. I shared it before and a few people really liked it so thought I’d share it again.

Sometimes it helps me out if I’m stuck in a rut or procrastinating.

Anyway, here’s the link:

Since there are many people that struggle with getting into a proper workout routine (or plan out such an endeavour) I thought I would share some insight into how to start working on your physical fitness.

The first thing that you need to do is to figure out your "why". This is in direct connection to the following steps, which will help you to get healthier and live a more positive life. Your "why" is the driving factor behind everything you do in life, including getting into a workout routine. The following steps might help you to find your "why" or at least kickstart you into the habit of getting fitter.

1. Set achievable goals

This is talked about all the time and is the fundamental pillar of what has to be done to succeed at anything in life. I think, what many people misunderstand is the word "achievable". You as an individual have your own set of current limits. Those limits might be physical, they might as well be psychological - if you can't motivate yourself to do something it limits your personal development just as much as physically not being able to.

This is the point where you have to trick your mind: Achievable in this context means finding something that is doable for you as an individual. If you can't go running because you haven't been going for the last couple of years, you could change into your running clothes and go for a walk.

In conjunction with setting goals, this means that you set goals that are still within your personal limits, i.e. "For the next month I will do a 30-minute walk 3x a week". This will give you a base for getting into the habit of doing something.

2. Consistency

You have all heard it and I will remind you again: consistency is key. That means that not every time you are working out/move your body you have to go all-out and almost collapse from it. It just means that whatever you are doing needs to be done consistently, no matter the intensity.

You can very easily hold yourself accountable for that by setting specific appointments with yourself. "For the next month every monday, wednesday and friday at 5pm I will go for a 30-minute walk" would be an achievable goal that includes consistency - no matter the mood, weather or how your day went, you are accountable for doing what you have set yourself up to do - even if you don't feel like it sometimes.

3. Track your progress

It is of absolute importance in such endeavors to track your progress - if you don't you run the risk of losing sight of the bigger picture and giving up because you don't see results! Tracking your progress can be as easy as writing a list on your phone or a dedicated notebook. You can write down date, exact time and how far you have gotten in your walk every time when returning from it. This will track your progress and you can look back on it when you come to a point where you think that what you are doing lacks any sense.

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In summary it can be brought down to following examples:

• For the next month I will do a 30-minute walk 3x a week

• For the next month every monday, wednesday and friday at 5 pm I will go for a 30-minute walk

• Track progress by writing down date, time and how many miles/kilometres you have gotten in 30 minutes

Keep in mind that these are just examples - you can do the same with running, a weight lifting routine, yoga, or anything else that comes to mind. You can even stretch these steps to other parts of your life.

It is important that you start. Even if you don't exactly know what you are doing, start the journey to reap the benefits, otherwise you will just leave them behind by doing nothing! If you set yourself up with the steps provided you will be successful but remember that you have to put in the work - nobody else is going to do it for you.

You are in control.

soar.

If you feel overwhlemed by your goals, just take the first step. Here are the benefits of doing this.

• Initiating a task generates psychological momentum, making it easier to continue working on it.

• Breaking tasks into smaller steps decreases mental strain, making tasks feel more manageable.

• Completing small steps releases dopamine, reinforcing the behavior and encouraging further progress.

• Starting with a specific action clarifies the path forward, improving focus and aiding in prioritization.

• Taking the first step breaks the barrier of starting a large or complex task, reducing mental blocks and making it easier to continue.

• Consistently initiating action fosters a habit of discipline, reducing reliance on motivation and strengthening long-term goal achievement.

• Starting a task engages your brain’s natural tendency to remember uncompleted tasks, known as the Zeigarnik Effect, driving you to finish what you started​

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast:

So I would like to implement some light exercise/stretching into my daily routine. However...

1. I am currently on medication that doesn't allow me to do any strenuous exercise - I can't lift or do anything that's hard on joints

2. I am VERY motivated by "challenges", they just work on my ADHD brain, something about the "do this for 30 days and..." makes my dopamine hamster run its wheel like crazy

Are there any free apps that offer light exercise (10-15 min) "challenges" like this, with videos/instructions on particular exercises every day, that you can tick off and that give you reminders?

Please be kind - I can't afford going to a gym etc., also I'm not based in USA. I walk daily with my dog. I would just like to do something small every day for my strength and mobility, because the medication I'm taking is making me very stiff and reduces my stamina a lot. I will be done with it in two months but I'd like to start building the habit now, in small steps.

Hello at everybody that can benefit from this!

Since my last post seemed to help people out and sparked some interest, I thought I'd share some more insight into what helped me as well as others I know in life.

There are a lot of people (no - you are NOT alone!) that seem to struggle with aquiring and maintaining a positive mindset, I thought I would share some key elements and hope that it resonates as well as my last post.

1. Reframing (intrusive) negative thoughts

We all know how that feels - it seems like everytime something remotely positive happens, we start to think about the outcome or ourselves in a negative way. Most of the time the explanation for that is more simple than it looks - fear is the driving factor of this. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of things playing out bad for us.

How do we overcome this? The answer is: challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself if they are actually rational and based on facts or if they are mere assumptions. If for some reason you start to have doubts because of assumptions, let yourself realize that they are not real. They are made up in your head, which you have the power to control! So, next time you face these fears cloaked in negative thoughts about yourself or the outcome of a situation write down all those thoughts based on assumptions and tell yourself that these fears are just made up and are not real!

2. Focus on solutions, not problems

Negativity often arises because all we see are problems stacking up. If we try to shift our focus from finding problems to finding solutions, we start to get into the "doing-process". If you start to work on solutions for the problems you are facing, you gain control over the situation - you will slowly stop to feel overwhelmed by the wall of problems because you started to work on solving them!

If necessary, write down all the problems you are facing and draw a mind-map (which is a very great brainstorming tool) for each one of them. This will bring together all the possible solutions to a specific problem and afterwards you can start to work on them! You just gained oversight and control over the situation!

3. Physical well-being

I have already mentioned this in my previous post, but to clarify the importance of this, let us get into this again. The primary asset you have for mental health and stability is your body. By managing our physical fitness we gain the upper hand over our minds!

Now, this does NOT mean that you have to push the boundaries of physical capability! It can be as simple as a daily routine of 3x 10min walks a day to get yourself going. You can do running instead, or hit the gym if you like. Get into a routine that fits your current fitness level as well as your lifestyle. You don't have to train for 2 hours 5x a week. Do SOMETHING, no matter how small it might seem to you - it does have an impact!

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It is very important that you believe in the process and don't stop doing these things after a few weeks because you don't feel different yet. It is very hard to track progress in these things, The journey will reward you if you trust the process! You can absolutely do all of this with ease!

soar.

When browsing in this subreddit as well as meeting people in person, it very often seems that they lack confidence or feel like they are "not good enough" in life. Since these detrimental thoughts are very common and not helpful at all I wanted to share some tips for (re)gaining confidence in life and get things done so whoever sees this and needs it can live his/her life to its fullest potential. I hope you can make use of what follows.

1. Positive affirmations

Most people that struggle with self-doubt and gaining confidence in life very often tell themselves "I am a loser; I can't do anything right; nothing that I do works out;" and similar negative intrusions that make them feel like they are worthless.

That being said, believe me when I tell you that your mind is a master at tricking you. As long as you tell yourself these negative things, you will believe them. To conquer this, you just have to turn it around. If you start to tell yourself positive things, you will feel more positive! Every time you catch yourself with intrusive, negative thoughts, stop them conciously and tell yourself "I am a confident person; I set my goals and reach them; I have a positive mindset;". At first you might feel silly, however, if you give it a few weeks and pull this through, you will feel better. I know that from first-hand experience.

2. Self-care

Something that very often seems to slide as well when dealing with negative intrusions of thought is self-care. It seems logical: if you stop caring for your appearance, don't go to the gym anymore, sometimes even neglect hygiene, it is not uncommon that your mind starts to deteriorate. Every person's mind works that way. If you feel "dirty" and "sluggish" you will not be confident in life.

That being said, if you want to (re)gain confidence, you might have to (re)start your self-care processes. Take your time for self-care. It can be as simple as shaving and feeling "fresh" afterwards as well as having a long hot bath with candle lights and fine-smelling salts. Self-care is an investment of time in yourself as a person that is directly connected with the image in your mind!

3. Achievable goals

If you start to feel better after a few weeks of doing the above, it is time to (re)organise yourself. Many people are often striving for seemingly impossible end results. To them, maybe even to you, the things you want in life seem so far away that you don't even consider going that way. That is because your base standard of what you want to achieve needs to be set in place. To make it more clear: I will not be able to become Mr or Mrs Olympia if for the last 10 years I haven't been touching a single weight.

That being said, trust me when I say that you can achieve the things you strive for - it might just be a problem of missing the steps in-between. That is where achievable goals come in. Identify the goals you want to reach and start breaking them down in achievable chunks. The most common and easy example to make that clear is running a marathon. It requires a lot of training and you will not be able to achieve it from zero to hero, especially if you haven't been running in the last few years. However, you can start going for walks, as they are getting longer you can start running very slowly for a few minutes, and so on, and so forth. It is a matter of pushing your limits inside of your personal limit zone and not trying to copy people that have a different angle to start from.

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I hope getting this out there helps the people that need it. If you already knew all of this, maybe it gave you another perspective on the things mentioned.

Hi! I struggle to get up in the mornings and was reading some story where someone hired david goggins to live with him for a few months and hold him accountable, etc. - so I thought it would be fun to build a little tool where "David Goggins" (actually just a voice that sounds like him) calls you in the morning to wake up.

It's free to use and super simple:

1. choose what time you want to get up

2. get a phone call then

3. you can actually talk when you get the call as well

Again it's a silly little tool, but it is actually pretty motivating to get a call like that in the morning! Let me know if you have any questions on how I built it.

Hello y’all

I’m Luna and I just ended my 4y relationship, where do I go from here?

Been feeling really depressed these past few months and I’m thinking of going to the gym and do a 360 change but I’m totally lost on that so please send help!!!

If it helps, I’m 1,67cm and 80ishkg

My mind has been all over the place and I need some help to get me motivated because I also don’t have a job and yeah yeah I’m a loser I know but I’m going to get it together

Happy sunday.. have a quote for you going into the week.

"Why not you? you've got the brains... you can make decisions.. you can study the plan.. you can change your life.. you could grow immensely in the next few years... you could make your dreams come true... you could become healthy, you could become powerful... WHY NOT YOU?????"...

• Jim Rohn

LETS GO.

My Favorite Discipline Resources:

Chris williamson youtube chanel:

Jocko podcast: