r/tifu

Yesterday my girlfriend(19f) and I(21m) were spending the day together as we’re both off school for Easter. We had a super fun day planned with a hike, food, exploring, etc.

Now we’ve only been dating for a month and a half, so I really wanted this to go perfectly, and honestly - it was. The hike was beautiful, she really seemed to enjoy being out in nature together. Food was great, conversation flowed, silences were comfortable. Typical for our relationship but we’d never spent this long together and it was working out great.

Well, until the drive back home. I’m a (very) amateur music producer, and after we listened to a podcast, I decided that this would be a great time to ask if she’d listened to my music before (she knows my artist name). She sort of hesitated a bit but said she’s heard part of a song. Now right after I asked the question I kinda felt the mood deflate. However, undeterred, I queued up my song and… yeah.

We only got through the first verse and chorus before I had to switch it off. I apologized for suggesting it and made a joke about how douchey/self-absorbed I felt for playing it. She assured me that it sounded good, but the change in mood and vibes told me something was still off.

I’m still not entirely sure why the mood dropped so much. As mentioned above I felt like a complete douche the second I suggested it. Doesn’t help at all that my music is pretty bad and not in a genre she listens to.

Anyway, we finished the drive mostly in silence, and said our goodbyes. Saw her today and everything was back to normal which is a huge relief, but I still cringe about what happened on the drive.

TLDR: Played my music for my gf and ruined the vibe of our car ride in the process.

Edit: People have been requesting it so the song was Past Self by Recursiv. Sorry mods

Edit 2: I’m removing the YouTube comments that mention this post, sorry - I don’t want my gf to know I made a post about it lol

So this happened last week and I’m still processing this crazy mess. Was debating even posting this because it’s so embarrassing. I think I’m the first person in history this has ever happened to, and for everyone’s sake I hope I’m the last too.
For context, I (22M) am a software engineer just graduated from a somewhat prestigious university, which is where I met my (ex?) girlfriend “Allie” (21F fake name). We’ve been dating for 3 years. I got a pretty good job fresh out of college and Allie is in her last year right now as an art student. She’s never been very technologically inclined, so I help her a lot with software and her drawing tablet when she’s having issues.
Well, a few months ago she comes to me out of nowhere asking me to help her with coding. Interesting, I thought, why the sudden interest? She said she’s been dating a comp sci student for 3 years now so it’s only right she learns a bit of what I do especially since I’m always helping her with her work. I thought it was really sweet actually. I taught her some basics with python and for the next couple weeks I basically tutored her every day and we built a little command line program to print out stars in different patterns and even a simple calculator program.
After that initial couple of weeks, it sort of dropped off a little bit but I would see her watching youtube videos sometimes. A couple of months go by without her asking me for help with anything, and then last week is when she asked me to help her with github. For those who don’t know, github is a website for collaborative source control for software, it’s basically like the Google Docs of programming. I was a bit surprised and impressed that she learned about it and wanted to use it, and even more surprised to see she actually had an account already that she made not that long after I was teaching her python basics. She just needed help resolving a merge conflict on a PR, nothing too bad, so I helped her with it and explained a bit about divergent branches. She thanked me and went back to the couch with her laptop.
This is where I fucked up. After helping her out, I decided to check out her github profile and saw she had a few other repositories already. One of them caught my attention because well it was literally just called “sex”. I opened it and there were a ton of images in the repo, I clicked one open and it was a nude of her. *Nice*. Although I should really teach her to private her repositories. Before I’d go do that, I decided to look around more pictures and was jumpscared by a particular nude. It wasn’t of her. It was a man. There were more. A lot more. I finally scrolled down to the README and it was long, and it appeared to be a long text, or rather sext exchange between her and what I can only assume is her affair partner “Alex” (real name because fuck you Alex). They signed off messages asking when the other is free and talking about pics they uploaded and what they want to do and shit (things I really wish I hadn’t read). I noticed there was another contributor in the repo and it looks like she’s been cheating on me with a fucking freshman in our CS department. I guess he’s inexperienced enough too to not know to private a fucking repo or maybe he just didn’t notice. But that’s all there. Cheated on through github. What happened to email?
So anyways that’s where I’ve been for the past week, I still don’t know what to do or if any of this is even real. I took a screen recording in case they do learn to private it, but I just don’t know what to do now still. What the fuck do I do?
TLDR: I’m a software engineer who started helping my art student gf learn to program, I look at her github and find out she’s been cheating on me with a freshman and communicating through a github repository.

This didn't actually happen today but it might as well have since it gets brought up so often. When me and my boyfriend first started dating i was staying at his apartment a lot. Like staying days at a time and only going home on weekends if that.

Well there was a time period of about 2 months where we started pranking each other. Nothing crazy just some harmless pranks that were so miniscule I can't even remember most of them. (Think changing the tv channel or putting an ice cube down their shirt) but there was one prank that started this whole thing. I was in the shower and he poured ice cold freezing water with ice cubes all over me. The bathroom was set up so that if someone moves sneakily you really wouldn't see them until it was too late so I was caught 100% off guard. A few minutes after when I warmed up again it was hilarious so I thought it was my time to get him back.

So using my logic I thought to myself, what would be the best prank ever, and I came up with the solution, "I'm gonna make him sneeze" and how do you make someone sneeze, according to all the shows I've seen in my childhood, just use blackpepper. So thats the first mistake.

He was sitting at his desktop and I went to the kitchen and poured the entire remaining bottle of blackpepper into my hand and went to go stand by him. Because in my logic, more blackpper= more sneeze. I called his name a few times and when he looked over at me I blew the entire thing into his face. He immediately fell to the ground screaming. At first I thought he was laughing so I was laughing too. But to my absolute horror when I actually looked at him there were tears pouring out and snot and screaming and I realized he was definitely not laughing.

I quickly grabbed some water in a glass and threw it in his face then grabbed some milk and threw it in his face and that calmed him down enough for me to grab him and shove him in the shower and turned on the water and forcefully opened his eyes under the shower.

I spent the next week apologizing and waiting on him hand and foot and he definitely took advantage lol but I'm surprised I had a boyfriend after that. His eyes were swollen, burned and bloodshot for 2 weeks after that. Apparently blackpepper is one of the main ingredients for pepper spray and mace smh. And he didn't even sneeze.

TL;DR Using cartoon logic I tried to make my boyfriend sneeze using blackpepper and broke the blood vessels in his eyes for 2 weeks.