this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
About a decade ago, My friend discovered my(43M) wife(43F) with another man in a bar being lovey dovey. He informed me about it and showed me the photos. I wanted to confront her but my friend told me to prepare for divorce before doing anything. I booked an appointment and even drew papers. But I never served her. My confidence was in the toilet and I decided to find another woman first before divorcing her. Which I am now being told has a name, its is called monkey branching.
When I started my own affair I decided to end the marriage after Christmas, then it became new year. My next deadline was after kids birthdays, but I never pulled the trigger. I realized that I like my life. I get to have fun with other women while not worrying about relationship things with them. I have a steady gf for past 4 years who knows about my wife. Initially I dont think my wife even noticed that I was having an affair, most likely because she was busy with hers. Then it became new normal that I will be gone with my buddy on hikes and stuff.
My friend always covered for me, but his wife found out few months ago and told my wife. My wife confronted me and I just told her I knew about her affair and I even have a photo. She was shocked and then started crying. I thought she will get off my back after that but no, she told me that affair was a mistake and she got carried away and stopped it. I told her I dont really care to know about her affair.
She asked me to go to couples therapy which I refused, she has started individual therapy. Her therapist is feeding her mind with rubbish. She came and told me that I need to cut off my GF and work on our marriage. She said she has made a mistake but she is creating boundaries for herself and I should respect them. I said fine I will cut off things with Gf.
I obviously was not gonna cut off my GF just because my wife told me to, but I decided to keep things down low but she caught me again. I guess she has become very vigilant. She gave me an ultimatum, I said fine. She didnt believe me and she was not wrong.
She asked me what I want in exchange and I told her that I like my life. I am not gonna change it one bit and definitely not because she wants me to. I like spending time with my GF and I will continue to do so as long as I want. I just want her to be a wife that she has been for past decade and dont come in my way. She asked me what I will do if she comes in my way. I said I will just go around her.
She said I cant keep punishing her for one mistake and I didnt say anything in return. I am not really punishing her, she is punishing herself, all she has to do is enjoy her life like she did for the past decade. Turn a blind eye and not care. I dont even mind if she gets a side piece for herself. As long as she is good domestic partner I am not gonna leave her and definitely not till the kids are out of the house.
I am not doing anything she hasnt done so I dont see why she is so upset.
Side Note what is "AmITheAngel" ?