AMEN. I can't watch that stuff because to me, it's gaslighting. it's PR. and it makes foster youth and FFY even more stigmatized.
imagine being told you should be grateful you were trafficked, by some asshole who saw the blindside or the hbo documentary. wow, yes, I was so lucky! I had 15 foster placements. ONE of them were good people. the rest do it for money and/or for the easy access to traumatized, vulnerable kids.
it's actually why I wrote the author of "white oleander," a book that deals with foster care and group homes and does not shy away from showing the abuse and dehumanizing actions in those spaces. I told her thank you, because I feel seen. people need to believe in this lie that kids in care are treated with respect and kindness and it's not real, it's just how they need to believe the world works so they can sleep at night, knowing that no one in their family will ever experience foster care.
she wrote back to say, no, thank YOU, because almost all of the responses I get to WO is that it's just trauma porn and would never happen and I'm a terrible person for portraying foster parents that way.
I'll never forget that. the book isn't even non-fiction. they hate us and want us to be grateful at the same time.
ETA: totally agree on the non-profits. don't ever give them money. please. we never see that money. they'll give kids donated luggage as a christmas present, pocket the rest of the money, and act like they're angels bc the kids won't have to use trash bags to move again (the foster parents pack the kids for new placements, first, and second, they just keep the luggage) and not a thought is given to what the messaging here is: "don't feel safe! get ready to be moved again!" it truly hurts my heart. give DIRECTLY to a FY or FFY. start a mentorship. I'm 40 and can't pay my rent. like, we are out here and we are TRYING in a system intent on breaking us.