Can you explain that background to your child? Maybe you could write a letter or use a guided therapy session for that?

Your teenaged child should know about you, your history, your thought patterns and the criteria you value most and your triggers, so he/she/they can contextualize your words and behaviour. Almost like a manual. I had to do this work on my own to understand my parents grief and trauma but it would have been so much easier to work on that together. It would also bring a whole new dimension to your relationship