Aerial Picture of an uncontacted Amazon Tribe

conansucksdick · 2023-02-02T19:29:19+00:00

Those poor karmaless bastards.

conansucksdick · 2023-02-02T06:33:10+00:00

Hour 1: this sucks ass Hour 2: I fucking hate snakes Hour 3: I should have been an architect

conansucksdick · 2023-01-30T00:21:31+00:00

Listen, I'll drink your buddies blood with you and the crackers you made out of his corpse, but I am NOT sharing a cup with strangers. That's pure madness.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-29T04:52:09+00:00

She probably lives in the gym to boot. Good for her.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-27T07:41:34+00:00

Banana, hot. Banana, hot. Banana, hot. 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

conansucksdick · 2023-01-25T00:26:31+00:00

1,427 pages of documents classified between 1991 and 1994 were just flip book animations that Bill Clinton sketched of himself and JFK tag teaming all of the former first ladies.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-18T09:22:24+00:00

Take this with many grains of salt because the law is a complicated topic.

Most acts passed these days simply modify existing laws. So a law might read like, Section X of Act Blah is modified to add the phrase blah blah and to replace all instances of Z with Y and furthermore this act allows section N to be subject to limitations O and P.

So when a law sunsets, the text reverts back to the previous version.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-17T06:04:14+00:00

With some chianti and Fava beans, you too can learn this power.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-16T11:03:09+00:00

You mean that place with the big burning ball of blinding light and all of those little flying things that bite you? Fuck that.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-12T23:33:39+00:00

At my last job there was a rumor that if you killed an executive and ate their heart, you'd get their parking spot.

I may have started that rumor.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-12T23:31:30+00:00

Sounds like my time in a Canadian POW camp.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-12T12:54:41+00:00

No, they're both dead.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-09T04:29:17+00:00

The tartar sauce in the balls.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-07T04:46:56+00:00

I triy this but I always screw up and start copying people who aren't actually dancing - like all of a sudden I'm doing the "janitor moping in the back" or "Dana White slapping his wife."

conansucksdick · 2023-01-05T02:23:59+00:00

I don't think I could stay hard if I was I trying to fuck around a brown bear. I'm not into that adrenaline shit.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-03T06:55:16+00:00

I've been living in Bangkok for a few months. They have grab, which is like Door Dash or Uber Eats, but all the drivers are on motorcycle. When they pick up from a restaurant, the app will show the delivery time based on Google Maps traffic or whatever. So the delivery might be 20 minutes for a place 2 miles away. You better run downstairs, because that grab driver is following zero laws, driving on the sidewalk or against traffic. Your food will be there in like 3 minutes.

conansucksdick · 2023-01-02T15:52:00+00:00

In the 80s the kids in my town had to fight a cow to win back our right to dance.

conansucksdick · 2022-12-30T13:39:29+00:00

I want to receive my end of life notice in emoji format.

conansucksdick · 2022-12-30T10:05:27+00:00

Give me two years, a 3 million dollar budget, and a secretary who knows her way around the Chinese mafia. I'll get you your blanket art.

conansucksdick · 2022-12-29T23:20:22+00:00

They're great for trapping toddlers, too. Just leave a trail of cheerios as bait.

conansucksdick · 2022-12-17T06:09:11+00:00

Or a crazy Star Trek episode.

conansucksdick · 2022-12-16T04:52:56+00:00

I saw him murder a Japanese dinner party once.

conansucksdick · 2022-12-09T22:22:43+00:00

Are the other ten pharmaceutical schools?

conansucksdick · 2022-12-04T00:47:41+00:00

Oh, he's definitely sorry that he got caught. And sorry that it's illegal. And sorry that the victim called the feds. And he's sorry that this country has become a place where "real Americans" get put in jail just for pointing out which people or groups of people aren't wanted here.

Piece of shit.

conansucksdick · 2022-11-25T03:34:43+00:00

A quick Google shows there are about 2 billion squirrels in the US. So, at 19.95/ month he could have bought every squirrel in the US a one month premium Netflix subscription and still had enough money left over to get each of them a hot dog and a soda from Costco. With the remaining 1.1 billion dollars he could have gotten like 110 million bananas.

conansucksdick

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