A tourist’s impressions of your beautiful country

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-11-04T13:12:58+00:00

Yeah Glasgow can be a bit weird at night. Like a lot of UK cities everything shuts by about 6-7pm except for the obvious like bars and restaurants.

Probably better to be in a quieter area for sleeping though!

Glad you had a great trip overall.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-11-04T11:47:29+00:00

Everyone talks about (or posts) their highlights reel. Who knows what what struggles are bubbling beneath the surface. I didn’t buy a home until this year (well into my 30s) whereas my younger sister is 9 years ahead of me on mortgage payments and sometimes I felt a pang of envy while still renting but then I remember her ringing me in tears because she had £2 to last until payday and I’d transfer her £50 for her groceries and to maybe buy the kids a treat.

And speaking of buying, since I started looking into redecorating my modest two bedroom flat I get reels/etc pushed on me containing 27 year olds who have bought palatial 3-4 bedroom flats that they’re renovating for thousands of pounds and yet still go on luxury holidays and the woman is posting her pregnancy journey, often already has at least one kid. I do sometimes think “how can they afford all that?” and I’m fairly comfortable! Social media is just designed to make people jealous and angry I expect.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-11-03T10:52:09+00:00

Bought earlier this year and still get emails because I’m nosey.

There’s some pretty nice tenement flats in my bit that would’ve gone to closing date before summer that are now sitting for weeks and I’m getting reduced notifications. That to me suggests that you’re an absolute chancer to expect a bidding war and over the HR.

That said, if a seller has got time to sit on their arse waiting there’ll always be someone desperate enough. Whether that person gets their mortgage fully approved though! Already seen a few “unexpectedly back on the market” listings.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-11-02T21:31:26+00:00

I wouldn't worry. My father in law has a pretty comfortable lifestyle and he travels a lot, his luggage wasn't cheap. It's also pretty beat up as a result of the frequent use and anyone who doesn't know much about luggage probably thinks it's bottom end rubbish. Has lasted him years though. Anyone who has pristine looking expensive luggage probably doesn't travel all that much and it's all part of trying to look the part.

It's like how there's this idea that if you fly in higher cabins you have to get all dolled up, whereas actual frequent fliers value comfort and will slum it in comfortable clothes and change into their meeting gear near landing (if they have to.)

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-11-02T14:32:31+00:00

Might be that it’s there for people who are connecting with a first class ticket. Before I moved here I’d travel up from York regularly and still had a railcard so scored some pretty cheap first class tickets. If I changed at Edinburgh I’d get to sit in the first class carriage to/from Glasgow and usually it was only me and one other person but I’d generally be travelling late.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-11-02T13:13:33+00:00

You’ll get used to it.

Also apart from proper cunts, nobody is offended if you ask them to repeat themselves. But you can go definitely about it the wrong way. Make a joke about you not them to avoid making out like they’re the problem.

I don’t have to do it so much these days but I always joked the issue was my being English, never mocking the accent of the speaker. Or being patronising about it like the guy Kevin Bridges references is one of his routines about this issue.

A lot of folk code-switch anyway. But certainly just listening to people talk and watching a few of the Glasgow-based comedies mentioned can help tune your ears.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-31T21:29:56+00:00

I only work from home one day a week now but it was always funny when we both had to work from home all the time and I overheard snippets. I'd pop into the other room to ask my husband if he wanted a coffee or something, and I'd leave as soon as it became clear he was talking to a customer.

Usually obvious by the repeated calm but firm "Mr Suchandsuch, you need to let me finish" and if they got abusive, company rules were that he was permitted to terminate the call and the customer would get a note on their file that they're to be contacted by email/post only in future if it was bad enough.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-31T21:21:55+00:00

My sister is a bit overweight (combination of two kids plus bipolar meds) and runs. Arsehole kids on her estate make fun of her all the time for being visibly overweight and running.

Nearly a month ago I completed a half marathon with her. Neither of us needed to stop to walk. We weren't quick but we weren't the slowest either.

I know it's easier said than done to try and ignore it, but fuck them. You're trying to get fit and anyone who would take a photo of you to mock online is covering up their own inadequacy. I guarantee that 99% of the time, the people who mock people for exercising do zero themselves. They may be slimmer than you/me/my sister but they probably half die when walking up a slightly steep hill.

I'm not overweight and still have people yelling shit at me when I run, I suspect because I'm a woman running alone most of the time and they wouldn't yell it at a 6ft tall beefy athletic looking guy. Example: "Run Forest Run" oh how original! I've never heard that one before!

Good luck with your fitness journey.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-31T20:45:38+00:00

Aye exactly! My husband is a team leader for an inbound call centre. He's not on the phones (unless someone asks to speak to a manager) but his team are. There's no way to slack off because he can see everything they're doing. I mean, he hates micromanaging bullshit so he's actually pretty chilled out so long as nobody takes the piss (staying in wrap for ages to avoid answering the phone for example) but if his managers come to him questioning something relating to a particular agent, he has to bring it up with the agent and get to the bottom of any anomalies.

If people are honest and say they're struggling or whatever, it's not usually a problem. It's the people who mysteriously seem to lose their Internet connection frequently and there's an obvious pattern to it who will raise eyebrows.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-31T18:28:46+00:00

This is what I don't get about people saying that only folk who work from home skive and people are more productive in the office. I question if they've actually worked in an office!

Even if you're the sort to try keep your head down and get on with your work, there's always someone trying to distract you with bullshit and the people who go on 6 fag breaks a day or spend all the time next to the kettle in the break room.

Personally I have days where I'm super focused and productive and lose track of time, and other days where I still get my work done but am slower at it for whatever reason, even if it's just that my brain is a bit tired that day. Nobody cares so long as the work is getting done.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-31T18:24:14+00:00

I'm sure you've had enough answers now to make your decision but for what it's worth...I went to my grandma's funeral when I was 10 and I'm glad I did.

All my other grandparents had already passed. I can't remember my mum's dad at all (I was a toddler) have blurry memories of my mum's mum and slightly less blurry memories of my dad's dad. I was 6 (nearly 7) when the latter died and my mum didn't want me to go to the funeral.

So my remaining grandma was the one I knew best. I think my parents were pretty conflicted over it but considering I'd lost all of my grandparents (and they their parents) so young I think they wanted to give me the opportunity to say goodbye. When all your grandparents are dead before you're a teenager, there's no hiding what death is and what it means. I already understood well enough that they weren't coming back, it was permanent.

Obviously entirely up to you but some kids are surprisingly switched on with this stuff and if you think she can handle it, nobody else knows her better.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-31T10:19:03+00:00

Been here 11 years and this seems normal to me. Glasgow goes through periods where it feels like it’s raining for six weeks and then you’ll get a couple of weeks and realise “huh, can’t remember the last time it rained” usually in the spring or summer but it’s happened over winter sometimes too. I actually dread the latter because it usually means I’m getting up in below freezing temperatures because the sky has probably been clear all night.

I go for a run up to three times a week and the last couple of Sundays I’ve got soaked because I had no choice if I wanted to run! But I guarantee there’ll be days where it’s dry and Baltic and I’m having to wear full winter gear so it all evens out.

The short daylight hours definitely make it worse. Summer rain is kinda pretty in a weird way, winter rain is just depressing.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-30T21:38:48+00:00

Before the last couple of years? Jeans. Now? I got so used to slumming around the house in leggings or joggers when we couldn't go anywhere else (and I realised that my colleagues don't hugely dress up for Teams calls so I stopped too!) that I find jeans really restrictive for relaxing time. Will still wear jeans out and about but if wearing trousers, mostly I'm in leggings at home.

Although, the vast majority of the time I wear dresses or skirts so my legs are usually bare in summer or covered by tights. Wool tights are a good investment for the winter.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-30T20:45:39+00:00

At uni my pals and I would sometimes come back early-ish (like midnight-1am) from a night out and have a cuppa in the kitchen before turning in for a few hours. I wouldn't be able to do that now because I feel like I'd be up and down to the loo constantly.

Generally I have my last cup at around 7pm. But you do you.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-30T20:43:10+00:00

Years ago I had a bunny called Alexander so you'll get no judgment from me!

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-30T17:15:45+00:00

I always say that getting up in the dark is miserable but I'm going to work and I'd much rather have the remaining daylight at the portion of the day where I'm more likely to be doing things in my own time.

Not that it matters past a certain point because we only get around 6 hours of daylight for a month or two, but I absolutely do not understand this obsession with having daylight in the morning when most of us don't have time to do anything other than get ready for work.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-30T16:59:31+00:00

To be honest, beeping your horn to signal anger or frustration is wrong no matter who you're doing it at - though obviously nobody is perfect and we've all done it.

But it's certainly extra cunty to do it to a learner. That's one way to make sure they make a mistake and hold you up even longer! People need to use their brain. Or set off earlier if even the most minute of delays are going to cause them so much hassle.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-29T19:10:18+00:00

Cheating unfortunately happens a lot so I can see it being "normal" from that perspective. But I've definitely noticed there seems to be an increase in the attitude that it's somehow a moral failing on the part of the wronged party to be unable to forgive or get past it, especially if "it's a one off" - I get that sometimes people are able to work through these things, but pressuring someone who had cheating as one of their hard limits and sticks to it is not the one.

See also: acting like not wanting an open relationship makes you a complete funsuck. Not everyone is going to have the ability to navigate that arrangement and I'm one of them. Having spoken to people who are poly though, cheating is still possible even then!

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-29T18:00:04+00:00

Or even worse, they make it clear how crap they think it is.

I remember something we did for my sister's hen do, there was only four of us and there was something in particular my sister wanted to do on the Saturday night. It wasn't something I thought would be my scene but I actually really enjoyed it. Meanwhile, the lassie who had spent all night with a face like a skelped arse turned to me and said in a haughty tone "this isn't your thing is it?" - were it not for my sister I'd have let rip because this other girl did NOTHING but whinge the whole weekend.

Anyway, I'd rather go alone to anything than have to tolerate a misery guts like that ever again.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-29T17:46:49+00:00

No not at all, and that's not what I was saying. Of course threatening to leave her is the part where he's rightly getting rinsed for it in other comments. I just thought the comment I was replying to was at least trying to help the OP by pointing out that coming across as having a go (such as threatening to leave) is toxic but there are things he can do to work through whatever's happening together.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-29T11:33:42+00:00

Great comment. It’s very sweet OP thinks she looks fine and is trying to reassure her but even with a partner telling you that you’re the most beautiful thing in their life, it can be hard to separate that out from the myriad of other issues you mentioned.

I remember stressing about turning 30 because I’d internalised the idea that women over 30 automatically become hags. I knew it was nonsense but my brain wasn’t always rational. I am now facing 40 rising slowly on the horizon and am expecting another wobble.

I don’t think I’m quite at considering surgery levels but I would definitely consider a spa day, just because it’s nice to relax and feel looked after, like all the pampering is just for you.

Think OP needs to strike the balance between reassuring and supporting her in doing what she feels she needs to do, she might not even go through with procedures but crowding her about it could make her more determined. If conversations get too heavy and heated, go talk about or do something fun and daft together and revisit later if you want to. It’s all about creating the environment that says no matter what happens, the most important thing is you still love each other and want to spend time together. And you can be together while respecting each other’s autonomy.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-29T11:15:50+00:00

I believe David Tennant has spoken about this. He ended up going to London because he pretty much had to at the time.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-29T11:12:56+00:00

The thing that is always missed with that is he was bantering with Tim Henman. Henman has even said this a few times, and defended Murray because of his age at the time. But frothers gonna froth.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-28T23:45:47+00:00

You're telling me! He was probably about 10/11 when he was drawing things from that film. Not a particularly nice kid. When we went up to the high school, the German teaching assistant (a native speaker who was over to practice speaking exercises with us) had to tell him off for walking up and down the corridors making that salute.

I only knew it was Hellraiser because he said so at the time. I actually watched the film when I was older.

SupervillainIndiana · 2022-10-28T22:46:29+00:00

I mean, I definitely watched inappropriate stuff when I was a kid. I remember watching the film Beetlejuice because it got made into a cartoon and of course I wanted to watch the film too even though it was tonally VERY different.

I just think we/our parents were a lot more covert about it. The kids who turned up with toys from Alien or whatever raised eyebrows among the teachers and all the other parents who pretended like their kids weren't watching those films too.

I remember one boy at primary school drawing stuff from Hellraiser! My mum tolerated Beetlejuice and the like but would've never let me watch Hellraiser.

The odd thing about Stranger Things is that some people, not just teens some adults too, seem to think that kid main characters = for kids so adults watching it are the weirdos. It such a bizarre attitude.

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