r/Jokes

An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian were sitting together on a train. Wanting to impress the others, the American pulls out a gun and throws it out the window.

“What are you doing!?” The others exclaimed.

“Aw, “ says the American, “we’ve got so many guns in America that I didn’t really need that one.”

The Russian thinks on this and then pulls a bottle of expensive Russian vodka from his pocket and throws it out the window.

“What are you doing!?” The others exclaimed.

“Is nothing,” explained the Russian, “we have so many bottles of expensive vodka in Russia that I didn’t really need that one.

The Ukrainian thinks on this and then throws the Russian out the window.

A couple take in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday....

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, don?t go to darts. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.."

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:

"Do you shave?"

"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hair?"

"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she showed the girl that indeed, she was far from hairless.

When the girl went to bed the husband came in, and the wife asked:

"Did you see it?"

"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."

"Why not?" she said. "You've seen it before."

"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!!

One proudly says to the other: "I am a boy!"

The other one says: "I don't believe you, you have to show me!"

The first one says: "Fine, just wait until the nurse leaves the room"

When finally the nurse leaves the room the first baby looks mysteriously at the other and lifts his blanket: "Look! Blue socks!"