Hi. I know im boyflux and agender but its kinda confusing and my identities co-exist. But i cant really tell what im feeling gender-wise at certain times and it kinda feels like there's no gender there at all but i like being called boyflux, it feels like its the right label and i identify as a dude most of the time. but its really confusing and it just feels like a void. Gendervoid could be an option but it feels like more then just that (p.s i stumbled upon one of your posts and i really dont know if this is what you do on your blog, so if it isnt just tell me)
but i like being called boyflux, it feels like its the right label and i identify as a dude most of the time
This is 100% what labelling is all about. If boyflux makes you feel good, then identify as boyflux! You don’t need to prove anything to anyone about you picking this term. There is no Gender God or Omniscient Identity Being that is going to storm down from the heavens to declare that you’re doing it wrong. Our labels are absolutely human-made for the purpose of humaning. Which means you get to identify off of gut feelings or happiness or absolutely whatever reasoning you have for identifying whatever way.
i really dont know if this is what you do on your blog
We do whatever we want and whatever is needed on this blog. :)
I’m wishing a happy trans day of visibility to disabled adults with caregivers who cannot transition/come out due to their caregivers being transphobic. I’m wishing a happy trans day of visibility to disabled adults who have been closeted for years since they realized they were trans because if they came out or tried to transition they would be cut off from or abused by their caregivers. I’m wishing a happy trans day of visibity to disabled adults who have seen their friends be able to transition while they’re not able to. I’m wishing a happy trans day of visibility to disabled adults who frustrated and hurt seeing people their age and younger being able to transition and having more freedom on defining their gender identity than they do. I’m wish a happy trans day of visibity to disabled adults who are constantly erased from the conversation regarding having autonomy regarding transition restricted from them due to it being often only seen as “an issue for minors”. I’m wishing a happy trans day of visibility to disabled adults who have their autonomy to make their own decisions about their identity restricted.
This goes out to all the Xenogenderers, “cringy” nonbinaries, genderfluid, -fucked and otherwise genderweird people. Everyone who can’t really cleanly explain their identity and aren’t binary enough to feel truly trans or be taken seriously. By cishets or other queer people. This goes out to you all, who can’t really transition, maybe bc you don’t know how to/what that would look like for you, or because you’d be perceived and mocked as a freak, or maybe the exact treatments or helps you want n need aren’t available, realistic, possible or even don’t exist. Who aren’t sure how you’d even go about affirming your gender or correcting misgendering. Maybe bc it’d take too much effort or not make sense to most people. Or just out of fear or inconvenience. Those who are often left out of trans conversations, for being too unusual or not seen as valid.
This or that, I’m here to say I see you. You are trans enough. You are exactly the gender(s) you are. I hope you find euphoric things in your life fuken STAT, and if you’re still questioning I wish you all the best in your self discovery and it’s okay to take time and experiment, you’re absolutely never a nuisance for asking to have your identity respected and accommodated for, and no matter how temporary or a “phase” any nuances of your identity are, they still are worthy of respect when they’re true for you. If you identify as one thing now, you deserve to be recognized as that now and for as long as you identify as such. Even if that changes tomorrow. Even if you turn out to be mistaken.
Hello you need to see this drag performer talking about quantum physics, queer existence, and non-binary identities.
[Video Description: A drag queen — who is credited as Amrou Al-Kadhi / Glamrou, a drag performer, writer, and filmmaker — stands in front of a microphone and explains,
“Quantum physics is this incredible sect of of physics, which basically…
With like, Newtonian physics — I think of it as heteronormative physics — where its basically ‘What are the fixed universal principles that govern the world? If I do A, will B happen? What are the formulas that’ll tell us anywhere in the universe, “What will happen if I input this?”’
Quantum physics is equally a “real” sect of physics that basically looks at subatomic particles — so the very smallest things in our universe, not the macro things — and they contradict basically everything that Newtonian physics shows us. So, the most famous experiment is the Double Slit Experiment, where you fire an electron and it should go through the left or right hole. And then every now and then, it goes through both at the same time. And we don’t really know why. And sometimes, the same subatomic particle is in different locations at the same times.
And quantum physics shows that actually reality itself is basically a majority approximation of what’s happening sub-atomically. So when people spew the biological essentialism argument on me. Like, particles themselves are non-binary, and do things that contradict each other all the time, we just can’t see them all the time. And that gives me a lot of comfort, that if subatomic particles defy constructs all the time, why should we believe in fixed constructs of gender, or any kind of reality?” END DESCRIPTION]
trans girls arent required to be soft, frail, submissive, quiet, reserved, “well mannered”, “ladylike”, or motherly. trans girls can be tough, brash, loud, bold, butch, strange and lone wolves. trans girls can be whoever they are, as they are. there is no one way to be a girl
that being said, trans girls who are those things are wonderful. there are many ways to be a woman, there’s no right or wrong way. thats the point! we love you no matter what type of girl you are, don’t feel like you have to be any type of way
You don’t have to know who you are supposed to be, especially not in a short amount of time. Just do what feels right for you and the rest will fall in line. Feelings before labels.
there is no “correct” way to be trans. there are no rules or guidelines. the way my transness affects me has nothing to do with how your transness affects you, or about how your neighbor’s affects them, and so on. you can define YOUR trans experience, but you can’t define someone elses. someone else’s transition will always look different than yours. Every trans person realizes they’re trans at a completely different age.
other people will come out at different times, experiment with presentation, clothes, hair, pronouns and names differently, misgendering will affect you differently than it will someone else, you will have a different experience with HRT or medical transition than myself or anyone else you know. there are as many ways to be trans are there are trans people on this earth. you cannot tell another person “how” to be trans or whether or not they are trans.
It can be pretty easy to ignore those basic needs, especially so if you tend to be very hard on yourself or your body. If you don’t like yourself, you may subconciously “punish” yourself by depriving your body of these things.
If you struggle with that, it can help to regularly check in with yourself as if your body was a baby you’re taking care of. (You can also think of a puppy or a kitten - anything that you would consider adorable and worth protecting).
This is actually a trick my therapist taught me. It may not work for everyone but it helps me a lot. If a baby is hungry, you wouldn’t say “Stupid weak baby, you weren’t productive today, you don’t deserve a snack” - you would just feed them. If a puppy could barely keep their eyes open, you wouldn’t say “You are bad and ugly, you didn’t earn a nap” - you would just allow them to sleep.
You don’t need to talk to yourself like that, either. You deserve to take care of yourself, just like a baby or a puppy deserves to be taken care of.
i love meeting trans people and learning their names and knowing they chose that. like ur average cis person will never understand the intimacy of trans names. its not just what ur called its like okay heres my soul
adding on to this 2 say that this is not exclusive to people with “deep” or meaningful names. even if u just chose ur name because you think it sounded cool, i still love knowing that little bit about you!! you thought your name sounded cool or was funny and so you chose it and now thats YOU!! i love hearing someone’s silly little name they chose for silly little reasons and knowing they decided to make their name something just because.
[ID: a TikTok by josie_irl, a thin east asian woman with shoulder length straight blonde hair, and black eyeliner, wearing a white shirt with a flower and cursive on it. on screen is a screenshot of a TikTok comment:
“Reply to cosmicallyv's comment
I had it muted and when I turned up the volume I was SHOCKED”
Josie is looking at the camera, smiling, and saying in a medium high voice: “it’s been a hot second so let me remind y'all”
in a much deeper voice she says:
“one I’m a natural baritone
two, trans women’s voices do not change on hormones
and any changes to my voice are from effort and practice
three, if you do not choose to change your voice that does not invalidate your gender at all
and four, women with deep voices are undeniably sexy
happy tdov to polyam trans people, arospec trans people, queer trans people, he/him lesbians + she/her gays, neopronoun users and people whose identity doesn’t fit into western ideas of gender and sexuality. ur personhood is not up for debate and doesn’t require validation or acceptance from anyone in order to be beautiful and real.
