Internet (specifically youtube) algorithms have been SO BAD for radicalizing people to various branches of fascism.
The problem is that once a person gets sucked in by one video or post, they are rapidly sucked into the echo chamber. Soon, all they see is this shit, which creates a negative loop of reinforcing what they’re hearing as ultimate truth because it’s never really challenged.
So one way you can help is to continue to consistently challenge these ideas. (But you can’t just disagree with it. These echo chambers are so effective because they play off our basest instincts, take advantage of our insecurities, and fuck with our feelings. So if you directly disagree with something, it then feels like a personal attack to them. They will become defensive and angry and brush you off.) You have to ask questions and get them thinking. You have to show you are listening to them.
Have you looked at the studies? What was their sample size? What was the age breakdown? Race breakdown? Sexuality breakdown? Cultural background? Religious background? How diverse were participants? Were any trans people included? How many times has this study been replicated, and did these studies come to the same conclusions? How did the studies address outside factors that could be changing results, such as cultural expectations, upbringing, media consumed, etc.?
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Why do you think he’s pretending to be a woman? Is there anything someone could do to prove to you that they’re not lying about their gender, and is such proof even possible? If it’s so common to change gender just for personal benefit, why don’t you choose to be a man to gain safety within society? How much assault happens within bathrooms versus without; do you believe men need to trick their way into bathrooms in order to gain access to assaulting women? Wouldn’t that imply that sexual assault isn’t that big of a problem because society is generally disproving of it, forcing men to resort to upending their entire lives to live as a different gender to get what they want? Have you researched the increased risk of violence trans people are at for being trans; what do you think about those stats?
If you search for “how to talk to conspiracy theorists” or the like, you’ll get a lot more advice. But honestly the best way to stem this sort of spiral is to cut this information off: guardians need to be aware and active of the media their kids are consuming and help them responsibly consume it (which of course depends on parents themselves to not hold harmful beliefs) and encourage them to spend more time with real people offline where these ideas they’re taking in will be naturally challenged through people’s natural diversity.
At the end of the day, you can’t force her to do anything. I’ve read so many accounts from various ex-incels, ex-radfems, ex-cultists, etc. and the common theme is that nothing anybody said to get them to broaden their mind worked. They had to see their beliefs start crashing down on them for themselves. They had to realize for themselves the harm they were doing and how tired they were of living so miserably. They had to be open to questioning these beliefs for themselves. Everything you could say to them is something the propaganda has prepared them to hear and told them will be false and given them “answers” to that keep them denying reality and believing in the bigotry. They had to be willing to see - and do the work of unlearning all that they spent so much time taking in.
And you have to consider your own safety. People cannot claim allyhood. That’s a mantle they’re awarded and it can be taken away at any time. Whenever it becomes too unsafe for you to continue being around this person, you have to cut them off. Do not sacrifice your own well-being trying to save her. It won’t work, and will only harm you.
~Mod Pluto
