r/dating

I keep hearing this phrase being posted in various discussions and I am also seeing whenever a woman posts her dating information her match rate is 1% or less.

Anecdotally it appears to be true with one study from university researchers suggests that as well.

So if it is true that most women find most men to be unattractive and limiting themselves to the very small sliver of the most attractive men wouldn't this be a concern for women?

If I found most women unattractive and limited myself so much where I was only attracted to Victoria Secret models for example I would be concerned and seek therapy.

Yet most women seemingly say this is normal. Why is this different attitude?

And it isn't just me being a weirdo, my friends and male relatives are the same mindset. So why the difference?

So I'm back at it after being away for 6ish years due to being in a long-term relationship and then taking some time to be alone.

When I was 21-27 dating, it was lit. I was getting laid constantly and going on lots of fun dates with people who knew how to enjoy themselves. I'm 33 now, and every date I go on just makes me feel like shit about myself. I think I'm just as attractive as I was when I was in my mid late 20s and now I even have money and my own house, but every woman I go on a date with just seems indifferent or even sad to be there. I'm planning amazing dates and taking them out to do all kinds of cool things around my city, and I even have connections now that allow me to get us guest listed and back stage at lots of concerts.

I'm not being a creep, and I'm being kind and respectful, yet despite everything, every date appears apprehensive and rarely wants to go out again. Is there some way you need to be in your 30s as a man to keep a woman in her 30s interested? I just feel like I'm wasting my time and energy on dating these days.

I am really depressed about this. I just want to make a genuine connection, but it seems that every date I go on lately makes me feel like I'm not even worth it to most women.

Edit: Honestly, after reading this whole thread and engaging with it, I have seen the problem. Thinking I can find love on the apps now that I live a rather niche existence with niche interests, and an atypical lifestyle is dumb.

I just need to open my heart to my other nightlife professionals because trying to make boring randos get on my level isn't fair to anyone. I'm just gonna do me and love will come, I'm a catch and the problem is I'm trying to find love in the wrong places.