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this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
For context we, M56 and F47, have been together for 26 years, married for over 20 years. One child.
We always try to make the most of our weekends together and yesterday was no exception. We had a day out, shopping and food then met up with acquaintances for a few drinks before heading home.
The subject got around to relationships and how to keep the flame burning, one of the younger women asked my wife how to keep sex enjoyable after being with the person for so long.
‘I don’t know, having sex with (me) does nothing for me since our child (18) was born!’
There was an awkward silence and people started making excuses to leave. Travelling home, mostly in silence, I asked her if she thought that was an appropriate comment and that I wanted her to apologise. As per usual, she doubled down and blamed me for being ‘too sensitive’!
Since then there has been no communication.
Tldr; Am I the asshole for getting upset that my wife told acquaintances that sex with me does nothing for her.
Update
She has said that she meant penetrative sex means nothing to her as she is unable to orgasm that way since childbirth, that is not what she said in public.
I knew there was an issue, bought the equipment/balls to help her tighten up but they were never used.
Sex would consist of a lot of foreplay, oral and, occasionally, toy play. This would give her three or four orgasms before penetration. I thought she enjoyed the intimacy.
I don’t guilt her into sex, when we had our child I waited ten months before we resumed physical intimacy.
I’m not going to insult her to make myself feel better, two wrongs make it a hell of a lot worse.
She has tried to blame the comment on the menopause, she is perimenopause, and the few drinks that she had but I’m not buying it. That’s an excuse not an apology.
I’m not the typical Scotsman, no deep fried mars bars for me. I do a physical job and run 5k every second day. I was a 32” waist when we married and I’m a 34” waist 20 odd years later.
To be truthful, I’m feeling shock, shame, embarrassment and emasculated. I can’t imagine ever being intimate with her again.
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Let me start by saying I know it’s all innocent ignorance and there’s no malcontent, but fuck me it’s tiring. Every weekend I meet new people, “which part of Ireland are you from?” Annoying but fair enough, your ears ain’t tuned in, forgivable whatever. the thing that’s driving me fucking mad here is the amount of cunts that hear my accent and then just immediately do their worst ever Scottish impersonation back at me. They find it hilarious just repeating what I say back at me in an accent and I really fucking hate it. Happens constantly. Trying to be polite and introduce myself, maybe make a new friend, and they’re like OCHHH AYE THE NOOO straight back at me.
Was funny at first but a year in I’m starting to get actually mad at it. I told guy last night to shut the fuck up and I never do that shit. He was a nice enough guy but was just ignoring everything I said and just doing his version of my accent back at me and I cracked
I just want to make pals here it’s nice being a novelty but after a year, fucking hell you Americans really need to get the fuck out of America
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Throwaway, respect my privacy please. This was the reason for her affair. She met someone who is wealthier than me and can offer her more than I can. She always encouraged me to be more ambitious in my career. My wife always got annoyed that I didn’t make as much as her friend’s husbands. Sometimes she lied to people that she wasn’t that close with about what I do for a living because she’s embarrassed because I’m a middle school teacher. She was always concerned about the status. Sometimes I feel like the cheating was my fault because I’m not a successful man
She has been cheating on me for 8 months. She has been talking about moving in with this man. She plans to move in with him sooner now that I know about this. She’s divorcing me and she is threatening to file for full custody and using the fact that we live in a “mother friendly” state against me
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