r/Jokes

The son returns a year later and tells his father that he has converted to Christianity. The father is upset and calls his friend who is also Jewish. “You won’t believe this, my son David moved out for a year and came back and told me he converted to Christianity.” His friend says, “you won’t believe this...my son Benjamin moved away for a year and when he came back HE converted to Christianity too”!

Both upset, they call their rabbi and explain what happened. The rabbi says, “you won’t believe this, my son Joshua moved away and when HE came back he told me he converted to Christianity too”! The rabbi suggests they call God and tell him.

The rabbi tells God that all three men had sons who moved away and converted to Christianity and don’t know what to do. God says to them, “you won’t believe this...

I've told her not to get her hopes up. "After all," I say, "we're only going to celebrate it for half a minute" when she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out "This is your thirty-second birthday"

She says she wants to open an account and deposit the money there, and proceeds to put a big pile of bills in the counter.

This catches the eye of the Banks manager, Mr Barry, who, with a smile, says he will take care of this and invites her to his office.

They start the paperwork for opening the account and the manager starts asking some questions

"Here at The Somerset Bank we are glad to have you as a client Mrs Smith, but regulations require us to investigate the origin of large quantities of money.

Would you mind telling us where it comes from?"

"It's quite simple, I'm very good at betting"

"Bets? sports betting?"

"Well, I usually bet on less common matters"

"Like what?"

"Well, maybe you’d like to go against me on one of such bets. I bet $200K that your balls are not round, they are square”

The manager is surprised by that.

“You mean my testicles??”

“Yes, your testicles, I bet $200K they are square”

The manager hesitates, he’s sure as hell his balls are not square, and she certainly has the money, so he thinks this is an easy bet to win without risking anything.

“Okay then, you got yourself a bet Mrs Smith!” And they shake hands.

The lady says: “since the amount is so high, I would like to bring a notary to witness so there’s no disputes, we will come tomorrow morning”

The manager agrees to the deal and says goodbye to the lady. That night, just to make sure, he looked at his balls in the mirror, reassuring himself as he started to think what he was going to spend the money on.

The next day, the lady appears in the office with a man accompanying him and the manager takes them to his office.

There, the lady asks him to take out his pants and underwear, and he complies, a bit nervous.

Lady says: “I’ll need to check them with my own hands, it’s a big amount of money and I need to make sure”

The manager agrees, it is a big amount of money after all.

She starts touching the balls and looking them closely and says “yes, I think they might be round”, and at the same time, the notary starts banging his head against the wall.

“What’s wrong with him!!??” asks the manager.

“I told you I was good at betting Mr Barry, I might have lost $200K to you, but yesterday I bet this guy $800K that by this morning I would have the balls of the manager of the Bank of Somerset in my own hands!!”