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“Wife Swap” (self.Mommit)

submitted by [deleted]

I’m on maternity leave and have been binging Wife Swap.

Before the women go to their “new” families, they’re asked what they hope to gain from the experience.

The answers are usually along the lines of “having my family realize how much I do” or “sharing my views with others”.

If you were able to swap into a different family for two weeks, what would you hope to experience? What rules do you value and would bring into another household?

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[–]NicoleD84 197 points198 points  (4 children)

I’d be interested in swapping with a family that is very organized. Like their house and their schedules. I feel like we’re a mess and I’d be interested to learn how they do it all. I don’t think I’d have anything to offer though, unless closing your kids door so you don’t see the mess is a good lesson. 😂

[–]BeccasBump 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I'm 100% sure it comes down to priorities. Like, I do tons of pinterest-worthy crafts and creative play scenarios with my kids. Amazing, right? Yeah, well, you should see the state of my kitchen floor. And I respond to either of my children crying absolutely without fail - but I have almost zero in the way of "me time". I could keep the house spotless and get to the gym every day, definitely...if I thought that was the most important thing. But then something else would have to give. And it wouldn't be wrong to make those things priorities, they just aren't mine.

[–]flashesOfQuincee 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Are you me? I feel like you’re me. I also would love a lesson in organization and schedule keeping/making and am one hell of an adept door-closer.

[–]Sehrli_Magic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thats why me (a disorganized dirty lazy pig) married my hubby (organized hardworking clean freak)...together we form perfect balance of ordinary functioning household 🤝👍

[–]moneyticketspassport 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. Though I think what I can offer is fun/spontaneity.

[–]brunette_mama 64 points65 points  (2 children)

I would love to see how other families do it. What I love about Wife Swap is getting such an intimate view on everyday life for different types of people.

I find it very interesting how some people make charts and calendars and some just wing it.

I’m pretty type A but if I went on the show I’d love to swap with a super laid back hippie family. I feel like I’d learn a lot.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Oh we would be a good switch! We have no schedule dinner is anywhere from 5pm-10pm and we keep it together with a shared google calendar. We are a house with an ADHD dad and a confused mother. It’s fun. We somehow manage. Lol

[–]brunette_mama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s exactly what I was thinking!

[–]BadMutherCusser 96 points97 points  (4 children)

I’m a stay at home mom to 4 kids. I would love to swap with a filthy rich wife who has access to a day spa, nanny, no guilt shopping, house cleaner, gets to go do hobbies with kids without worrying about laundry and has all school aged children with a chauffeur with no morning alarm, pickup, drop off. I’m sure this is not the answer you wanted but I’m burnt out and need a vacation.

[–]mama_snafu 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You have the best username

[–]BadMutherCusser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I’m insecure about my username sometimes haha!

[–]DateSuccessful6819 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All I could think of was Kim Kardashian man.

[–]Dwight-Shelford 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SAME.

[–]whydoineedaname86 30 points31 points  (1 child)

I am really good at the kid stuff. I love to plan activities, I will play all day with my kids. Household/ organizational stuff I am less great at. It would be interestingly swap with someone who is the opposite.

[–]Ally-baba 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Swap with me! I’ll organize the crap out of your house and you come play with my kids! 😂

[–]allthevibes7 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i’ve watched just about every. single. episode. i would hope to experience a different view of life. whether rich or poor. you know? just experience someone else’s life we are all focused on ourselves we never really know how the next person is living and their kids. the value i would bring is prob just letting the kids be themselves and remember that communication in a family is important too. gonna rewatch all of them now thanks

[–]Neko131e 15 points16 points  (0 children)

How to have a balanced household. Both my husband and I are bitter because we feel things are unbalanced. Also would be cool to switch with a family that home schools and does home steading as I want to do both. What we offer is we live in a RV though we are stationary for the most part. So you have to make do with alot less space.

[–]okayishwife 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I would love to see a family with outside support, i just wanna know what that’s like. Currently right now I’m sahm and i get no outside help, it’s all me until my husband gets home at 5. I’m just curious. I would also like to see kids the same age as my daughter how they act and things like that!

[–]jfager16 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Same! I countdown to him coming Home because he’s my only support. It would be crazy to have family that help out. I feel like I’m just in a kid bubble until my dude gets back.

[–]okayishwife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me too!!! It’s very isolating, in my case I have family close just no help lol that’s not the greatest feeling either

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Reddit wifeswap hmmm….

[–]katbob07 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would hope to experience a family that has a maid. I would SUPER love to experience a family that wife is a housewife and ALSO has a maid. This would bring me joy. All kids in school, a maid, and all I have to do is go to the gym, groceries, and make dinner or whatever. I housewifed it for 12 years (while also doing school for 6 of those years, and volunteering for 3 of those years). Now I work full time, school full time, have 3 kids and 3 pets. I just want to sit and crochet all day and never clean again. I guess I always take on too much and love to be exhausted without time for my responsibilities. Maybe a family that knows how to say NO to things that will just be too much.

[–]fourfrenchfries 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Where are you watching it? I have never watched it but am super curious now that I’m actually a wife.

[–]CatsSnacksNaps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It looks like Hulu has it! I’m sick and pregnant so watching this may be a good way to spend my day haha

[–]ImDatDino 11 points12 points  (4 children)

I would love to swap with a working mom. I'm a stay at home parent and it always seems like the grass is greener. Ya know? And I'd like to bring with me my "go with the flow" "if it won't hurt them why not" attitude.

[–]Howpresent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d like to swap with you! My only stay at home time has been maternity leave and my husband stays with the kids while I work. It is pretty nice even though I love spending time with my babies. I could show your husband how spoiled he is to have you.

[–]katbob07 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was a housewife for 12 years, started working again this year in March. I LOVE working and making money, but I also really miss being able to sleep in (my kids were all angelic babies that slept until 8-9), Now I have to get up at 6:15 and I do not like that. At this point while I miss being a housewife, I have 0 desire to do it again unless husband gets super rich and we have no young kids at home (no young kids is on the horizon, super rich is not, and I like the money more than staying home with no kids). They're both hard in their own way, and they both bring happiness in their own way. I am inclined to say that working is harder BUT I am also in full time college, so I just have a lot on my plate. I don't think I would feel the same way if I was ONLY working. I know I enjoyed my freedom when I was a full time college student with 1 kid in school and 1 in paid Pre-k. That was the BEST. I had time away from kids, kept the house in order, and still had family time.

[–]DramaMama90 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I am a working mum (4 day week). I would have loved to have stayed at home but it wasn't going to happen financially. My friends are all working mums which makes it easier. My in laws and and older people I have spoke to say the most judgemental stuff, as if I had much of a choice. I miss my kid like crazy when I am at work.Whether you stay at home or not, children keep you busy. I always feel like I have a ton of admin, on top of spending quality time with my kid and trying not to get sacked. I wish I could "go with the flow" as a parent. I am definitely the serious one who cares whether the veg get eaten and the teeth are brushed

[–]ImDatDino 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha we should totally swap! (Just for a week please lol) because I feel like I have no identity outside of being an assistant to a toddler. People are also judgey about "well why don't you get a seasonal job" or "just work from home!". I guess ya just can't win where other people's opinions are concerned. As for vegetables, I put em on the plate. Sometimes they get eaten, sometimes they don't. Sometimes my son let's me brush his teeth really well, sometimes he wants to do it himself and only brushes 2 teeth. I don't get worked up either way lol.

[–]CrunchyUnicorn 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I appreciate how a lot of moms on here are more like, “I feel like I could learn from other families.” Instead of wanting to prove their worth to their partner. Being a mom is a very humbling experience a lot of the time. Having another parent’s perspective down to the nitty gritty could probably benefit all of us.

I hate the idea of being away from my husband and then having some drama-inspired camera crew following me and some other person (and vice versa) around, but it could be beneficial if it wasn’t all documented and scripted.

Finally, my girl is a gentle soul and I’d love to see her nurtured by yet another person.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, reading through these is really heartwarming!

[–]qbeanz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I tend to be more perfectionist, organized, and probably too controlling about the baby's stuff. Everything else in the house just falls by the wayside. I think it would be a good experience just to snap me out of that and see that being more flexible and relaxed can work too..

Maybe they'd like to see how my organization and schedule work.

[–]MightyMomma3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would want to swap with someone very ocd clean and organized. That way I could finally come home to a clean and organized home!

[–]lookylolo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would be cool to come away from the experience with a fresh appreciation of how much I love my family and what works for us.

[–]chefiesteph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I conpletley forgot about this show! Home with a one week old and thanks for giving me my new 12am to 4am binge. 😅

[–]buildalittlehouse 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I want to switch with someone who has older kids. Hopefully nice ones. I just want to see what it’s like when kids are in a more independent stage.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an 11 year old and a 9 year old. Both have been super independent since they could walk. They started dressing themselves at the age of 1. I do have to get on them about brushing their teeth. But that’s about it.

[–]dragonflyeyes84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would hope to learn way to straighten my family's bond no matter what it might be.

I would bring the importance of showing love and lifing each person in the family up no matter how different or difficult one might be!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

We don’t have a schedule. My toddler wakes up around 9- 10am and he goes to bed anywhere from 9pm-midnight and sometimes he naps something he doesn’t

he can draw on the walls i have time to clean. He’s the type of kid that people say “oh you let your kid run your lives.” Yes I do and that’s my business and I am a very free parent. My husband is more strict but we are very easy going.

We will let him choose if he wants to go to school or be homeschooled. If he wants to do any sort of activity we will support whatever life path he chooses.

So it would be fun to switch with really serious people who are disciplinarians and really strict with schedules. That’s the most extreme thing about my parenting is that I don’t really discipline or focus on time schedules because I don’t like the concept of forcing a child so young to conform to society norms he can run by his own clock for now.

That would drive a lot of people crazy but the idea of being on a schedule and having time outs makes me uncomfortable. I love that show because everyone’s lifestyle is valid as long as your kids are happy and the marriage is healthy there are no wrong or right ways to live!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Hi .. i have soo many questions 😊is this how you were raised ? Or was it the extreme opposite? Do you every worry that you’ll have issues later on? Behavior ? I have two boys. I believe I’m strict but not psychotic.. example They have bedtimes just changed to 9 pm. My 9 year old is always asleep by 8-830 his own doing. my 11 year old usually asleep between 10-11pm He’s required to be in his room showered, teeth brushed by 9 pm but he can stay up ( both kids can ) as long as they don’t bother me or cause drama. Bedtime is my down time. We have dinner fairly about the same time as a family. They eat everything I make. Most of the time I make what they want/ crave. I’ve seen both sides of parenting .. my BFF grew up with parents that didn’t disciple at all- she ran her parents lives essentially. As an adult now she resents them for it. She says she needed parents.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Well as a kid my parents were very easy going. I don’t ever recall having any rules. Now as a parent my mom and dad are my lifelines. They’ve always been more friends than parents and I know alot of people really don’t like that dynamic but for us it works. My parents are young at heart and I’m like an old lady so it’s always worked. I can tell them anything and they never judge me. So I can absolutely see someone resenting that, but I’ve grown up to be a hippie type of person and my husband is we are all just go with the flow and it works :) my husband , parents, son, and I are all very similar in that way. As my son grows older if this isn’t working we will mold and shift for what’s best as we always have!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That’s so awesome! My parents were assholes- I try to remember what I felt like as a kid and bring that with me as a parent. I try and balance the fun with discipline. What I want the most is for my kids to trust me and never be scared to tell me anything.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s nice that you are breaking the cycle and being a nice parent! I feel like at least for me the most important thing is just being here. Spending time with him letting him know he’s amazing and when he is being bad telling him why. I think mostly kids just crave love I think that’s all humans crave really

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to be nice. Sometimes I fail miserably .. today I feel is one of those weekends. . My kids were being assholes though … all weekend. We got stuck in this stupid cycle and all I wanted was for them to have a great weekend.

[–]PalpitationOk8419 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I freakin love this show. Where did you find it to watch it?!

[–]trumpskiisinjeans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hulu!

[–]TheGoodShipMischief 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to swap with a mom who is super relaxed and able to just go with the flow. Bonus points if she’s also great at coming up with creative kid-friendly activities and fearless about sticky, slimy craft messes.

I am a hyper-organized, detail-oriented planner. We have a super robust routine that benefits all of us (we like it!), but sometimes I worry that my son is missing out opportunities to learn about flexibility and spontaneity.

I have different strengths to offer and wonder if others would appreciate them or if they just work for us alone? If I were ‘embedded’ in another family for a while, everybody would exercise outdoors daily, rain or shine (I am great at making rain fun!); meals, naps and bedtimes would happen on a schedule; and everybody would spend some time reading during the day.

ETA: I mean, the host family may just tell me to step off with my reading time and puddle-jumping, and that would be fine! But that’s the mom energy I’m bringing hah

[–]Organic_Artichoke_66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d definitely go to make my family realize that everything I do for them. I feel like I am not appreciated at all and I am definitely taken advantage of at times. I’d offer the other family my organization skills.

[–]Ok_Cartographer_6956[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I asked my family (my husband and two boys, 4 and 7) what kind of mom they would swap for me, like what is my opposite mom? And they said things like a mom who doesn’t make us clean our rooms, one that lets us eat lots of candy, and other silly things. And then my husband said “if they switched mom for an opposite mom, she just might not come home…” In a way it made me feel like they, well at least my husband, appreciated what I do knowing that if I had the opportunity I might like it too much.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked my kids the same thing and they both said no mom don’t leave us! We don’t want another mom please you’re the best and I just finished reprimanded them. I’m very upset with my kiddos at the moment (11 and 9) were absolute assholes this weekend.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would want to swap with a female couple to really see how gender roles affect a heterosexual relationship. My family is progressive, but I still feel like a lot of old school thinking gets in the way. I’m curious how that’s dealt with in a same sex parenting relationship. I don’t really know what I’d bring to the table for them….. but I do make amazing homemade bread, so I guess that lol !

[–]terminator_chic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like to swap with a family who has a different upbringing than me. A different race, SES, major religion, etc.

What I'd want to bring is my logical approach to relationships. I tend to be way more logic based (I mean this is a math and logic way, not insulting other parenting types) in my social interactions. I talk things out with my child a ton, explaining the reasoning behind a parenting choices, how we use the use of neural pathways to create good habits, etc. It's very effective for us, although my kid and I practically share a brain. I'd like to see how it works for others too.

[–]Sweet_Aggressive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would never. I have quite a diverse set of experiences in other’s families as it is, and I absolutely love my family. I don’t want to be separated from my husband and kids